I am horny
Do it already...........
With who?
I dont have me a man
My fuckmate is on suspension
he didnt call for 3 months
or maybe i should get me a new fuckmate????
Got a proposition from a guy 2yrs younger
I am not bothered that he is younger
I am bothered that he acts his age
y should it bother me?
Why cant I just get what i want
what does it matter who from?
Sex is easy
i should just get it
Its everything else that is complicated
(he's younger,acts his age,might not be able to pleasure me
Men think dating is fine
sex is good
an attachment? no way
Women think dating is important
sex is/should be earth shattering
an attachment? how soon
Why am I Female?
Friday, February 29, 2008
First times.......
Was reading Nyemoni's blog..
first tymes.......
I guess i wanna blog about my first day at school..........
the one i remember will be secondary/high school
i have no recollection of my first day at primary school
i had this weird desire to school as far away from home as possible
so i guess i looked at the map of Nigeria and from Lagos........
i chose to school at Federal Government College Sokoto
My uncle was a pilot at the then Nigerian Airways so i knew getting there wouldn't be a problem-he had two sons there-so i was looking forward to being the female cousin
I didnt get in........
I got into Federal Government College Minna
I really was tiny then and i was 11
so i got my period on the night before i left for school
yea.....new chapter of my life.....new me
my mother still cringes..........
ok-two stories in one
first period-first day at school
was watching a movie...my stuff all packed
felt funny
went off to the ladies
saw blood................
at first i drew a blank
then it ocured to me
Ohhhhhhhh now i get to be a woman?
went off to tell Gramps...he smiled and sent me off to Grandma
She was amazed-kept wondering aloud why it had to be tonight of all nights
no sanitary towels at home
Granma didnt need it no more
My uncle went to the store....closed
i guess its crude but i had to make do with the cloth
remember how Grandma did it before sanitary towels?
Grandpa came in after a while and suggested tissues
so grandma showed me how to use the tissue
the whole neighbourthood would have known i got my period
i was walking like i had something between my thighs
i did
try telling an 11 yr old she had to walk like she had nothing btw her legs..............
then came the talks...............
u are going off to boarding school
be wary of boys
now u have ur period u can become pregnant if they touch u down there
dont let NO ONE touch u down there
Gramps first then Grandma
they called my parents and i got the talk over the phone as well
Mum,Dad,Mum's eldest sis,Uncle the Doc finally my Aunt the chaperon
must have got to bed about midnight
off to school the next morning after kissing Gramps goodbye
(loved to run my little palm over his stubble)
miss u Gramps................
got to the park
stores still not open
Grandma and my aunt went with me
who lets an 11yr old travel from Lagos to Minna by road alone?
not my family
Stopped at...have no idea...Aunt says come along...
we went to the ladies after finally getting some sanitary towel
she showed me what to do
i still walked liked i had something between my legs
it was uncomfortable in my opinion
i just wanted to yank it out and keep changing my pants once they were soaked
I love sleep and it loves me too
i have no idea what the scenery was
i spent every min that wasnt spent wit my nose in my novel sleeping
must have been a twelve hour journey in my opinion
at every stop,my aunt and I had to check down there.............
Every min i spent seated was bliss cos of.....u know what
Finally got to Minna then to the school
we had to look through a list for our names
my name was put against yellow house
i was still debating the idea of I in a yellow outfit
the School's Guidance counsellor who had being contacted
by my Aunt the Chaperon-my Aunt visited the school soon after we got the notification that i was gonna be in Minna-she met this nice family who put her through and she suggested or they suggested they would look after me during my stay in school
nice family....
The Guardian Cou...lets say Mr O comes up and says nooooo
strike that off...........She will be in green house
i felt yea someone after my heart
Along comes this plump beautiful lady-he pulls me towards her and says
shes from Lagos and she is your responsibility
she R was in green house,he needed for me to be in the same house as she
My very own school mum-wasnt elated but being the school daughter of the Labour prefect turned out to be bliss
It almost became a family thing-Male labour prefect then decided to be my school dad
i said no-he liked the fact that i had a mouth on me
i was easily one of the smallest in the whole school then
this tiny thing who had a BIG mouth and wasnt afraid to talk back to ANYONE
I spent a lot of my tyme with Gramps and i was encouraged to say just about anything
so it was an eye opener to know i had to shut up if i didnt want to be eligible for punishment from the seniors
i had immunity all thru my first year in school
so i guess i got worse
all that tyme the seniors in SS 2 were plotting...........
they couldnt wait for my immunity to wear off cos wear off it did in my second year
now i have to blog about my first punishment.......
how did i go from first day to first period to first year in school?
R=school mum's eyes almost popped out of their sockets when she found the towels in my luggage
she helped me get thru the next few days
it was like having a big sis
which is cool(i dont have a female sibling)
After the introduction to school mum i said good bye
to Grandma & Aunt the Chaperon
She was being all clingy and i wasnt having that
i felt your job is done u have seen me here safely
can u please go?
i couldn't wait to go explore my new surroundings
went off with school mum after Grandmum&Aunt the Chaperon
had settled into Mr O's home
they had to spend the night-couldnt make the trip back to Lagos
was asked to spend the night with them
i choose to go check out my new abode
Hung around school mum the rest of the day while she handled her duties
slept in her bed-i have no idea where she passed the night
next day i got the bed beside hers
she made sure she hung around till i fell asleep though
t'was a tad colder than Lagos
had a dreamless sleep
i forgot to mention how disgusted i was by all the other new comers like meself who burst in tears once their folks had to go
stay tuned for other firsts.......
first tymes.......
I guess i wanna blog about my first day at school..........
the one i remember will be secondary/high school
i have no recollection of my first day at primary school
i had this weird desire to school as far away from home as possible
so i guess i looked at the map of Nigeria and from Lagos........
i chose to school at Federal Government College Sokoto
My uncle was a pilot at the then Nigerian Airways so i knew getting there wouldn't be a problem-he had two sons there-so i was looking forward to being the female cousin
I didnt get in........
I got into Federal Government College Minna
I really was tiny then and i was 11
so i got my period on the night before i left for school
yea.....new chapter of my life.....new me
my mother still cringes..........
ok-two stories in one
first period-first day at school
was watching a movie...my stuff all packed
felt funny
went off to the ladies
saw blood................
at first i drew a blank
then it ocured to me
Ohhhhhhhh now i get to be a woman?
went off to tell Gramps...he smiled and sent me off to Grandma
She was amazed-kept wondering aloud why it had to be tonight of all nights
no sanitary towels at home
Granma didnt need it no more
My uncle went to the store....closed
i guess its crude but i had to make do with the cloth
remember how Grandma did it before sanitary towels?
Grandpa came in after a while and suggested tissues
so grandma showed me how to use the tissue
the whole neighbourthood would have known i got my period
i was walking like i had something between my thighs
i did
try telling an 11 yr old she had to walk like she had nothing btw her legs..............
then came the talks...............
u are going off to boarding school
be wary of boys
now u have ur period u can become pregnant if they touch u down there
dont let NO ONE touch u down there
Gramps first then Grandma
they called my parents and i got the talk over the phone as well
Mum,Dad,Mum's eldest sis,Uncle the Doc finally my Aunt the chaperon
must have got to bed about midnight
off to school the next morning after kissing Gramps goodbye
(loved to run my little palm over his stubble)
miss u Gramps................
got to the park
stores still not open
Grandma and my aunt went with me
who lets an 11yr old travel from Lagos to Minna by road alone?
not my family
Stopped at...have no idea...Aunt says come along...
we went to the ladies after finally getting some sanitary towel
she showed me what to do
i still walked liked i had something between my legs
it was uncomfortable in my opinion
i just wanted to yank it out and keep changing my pants once they were soaked
I love sleep and it loves me too
i have no idea what the scenery was
i spent every min that wasnt spent wit my nose in my novel sleeping
must have been a twelve hour journey in my opinion
at every stop,my aunt and I had to check down there.............
Every min i spent seated was bliss cos of.....u know what
Finally got to Minna then to the school
we had to look through a list for our names
my name was put against yellow house
i was still debating the idea of I in a yellow outfit
the School's Guidance counsellor who had being contacted
by my Aunt the Chaperon-my Aunt visited the school soon after we got the notification that i was gonna be in Minna-she met this nice family who put her through and she suggested or they suggested they would look after me during my stay in school
nice family....
The Guardian Cou...lets say Mr O comes up and says nooooo
strike that off...........She will be in green house
i felt yea someone after my heart
Along comes this plump beautiful lady-he pulls me towards her and says
shes from Lagos and she is your responsibility
she R was in green house,he needed for me to be in the same house as she
My very own school mum-wasnt elated but being the school daughter of the Labour prefect turned out to be bliss
It almost became a family thing-Male labour prefect then decided to be my school dad
i said no-he liked the fact that i had a mouth on me
i was easily one of the smallest in the whole school then
this tiny thing who had a BIG mouth and wasnt afraid to talk back to ANYONE
I spent a lot of my tyme with Gramps and i was encouraged to say just about anything
so it was an eye opener to know i had to shut up if i didnt want to be eligible for punishment from the seniors
i had immunity all thru my first year in school
so i guess i got worse
all that tyme the seniors in SS 2 were plotting...........
they couldnt wait for my immunity to wear off cos wear off it did in my second year
now i have to blog about my first punishment.......
how did i go from first day to first period to first year in school?
R=school mum's eyes almost popped out of their sockets when she found the towels in my luggage
she helped me get thru the next few days
it was like having a big sis
which is cool(i dont have a female sibling)
After the introduction to school mum i said good bye
to Grandma & Aunt the Chaperon
She was being all clingy and i wasnt having that
i felt your job is done u have seen me here safely
can u please go?
i couldn't wait to go explore my new surroundings
went off with school mum after Grandmum&Aunt the Chaperon
had settled into Mr O's home
they had to spend the night-couldnt make the trip back to Lagos
was asked to spend the night with them
i choose to go check out my new abode
Hung around school mum the rest of the day while she handled her duties
slept in her bed-i have no idea where she passed the night
next day i got the bed beside hers
she made sure she hung around till i fell asleep though
t'was a tad colder than Lagos
had a dreamless sleep
i forgot to mention how disgusted i was by all the other new comers like meself who burst in tears once their folks had to go
stay tuned for other firsts.......
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Comfortable
How comfortable are you in your skin?
Moi...................Very
I remember one full moon night in Uni
we girls had this habit of having our baths outside
not outside the compound-thing is the house we all lived in
had this open space at the back where the well was
we were priviledged to have a well in our compound
others would come and beg for water in our abode
Thing is when we needed to do this........
we would ask that someone shuts the main entrance
and if anyone heard a knock the person was sure to go inform whoever was bathing outside that a male was coming in
so this day -whoever it was that opened the door decided to reduce my brideprice
so i am there having my bath....
and this guy walks in
it would have being nice if he was just some random guy in school
he turned out to be a friend's friend-but a person i know and speak with
he saw me-shey he would have just walked away
he just stood there and said Ibi.............Hi
5 secs later i got over my intial shock and i said hello
how u been?
he says cool-then asks me-have i seen D?
the babe he was in my hostel to see
i said no-check her room
he says
nice seeing u-then proceeds to knock on D's door
D opens the door and is shocked that he was at her door and there I was
later she comes into my room mortified-why did'nt i run,scream,pour water on him?
i said well he had already seen me
what was the point?
he decided to be like that............
so i played along
afterall no body send me to bath outside abi?
i have a cousin who goes once she sheds her clothes before a man
she becomes shy.................
i know brothers dont mind baring it
but in my opinion
since we are both in our birthday suits
what the hell
i aiint feeling shy over my body
its beautiful-i am proud of it
ok-so i aiint as bootilicious as Jlo
it will happen yet
in my lifetyme..................
but if some bro thinks if he happens to see me
i am gonna be embarrassed about it.........
it aiint happening
not unless my clothes get torn in the middle of third mainland bridge
or somewhere densely populated
but if its a brother at a tyme*wink*
even uninvited onlookers.............
i looooooooooooove my body.......................
come see
Moi...................Very
I remember one full moon night in Uni
we girls had this habit of having our baths outside
not outside the compound-thing is the house we all lived in
had this open space at the back where the well was
we were priviledged to have a well in our compound
others would come and beg for water in our abode
Thing is when we needed to do this........
we would ask that someone shuts the main entrance
and if anyone heard a knock the person was sure to go inform whoever was bathing outside that a male was coming in
so this day -whoever it was that opened the door decided to reduce my brideprice
so i am there having my bath....
and this guy walks in
it would have being nice if he was just some random guy in school
he turned out to be a friend's friend-but a person i know and speak with
he saw me-shey he would have just walked away
he just stood there and said Ibi.............Hi
5 secs later i got over my intial shock and i said hello
how u been?
he says cool-then asks me-have i seen D?
the babe he was in my hostel to see
i said no-check her room
he says
nice seeing u-then proceeds to knock on D's door
D opens the door and is shocked that he was at her door and there I was
later she comes into my room mortified-why did'nt i run,scream,pour water on him?
i said well he had already seen me
what was the point?
he decided to be like that............
so i played along
afterall no body send me to bath outside abi?
i have a cousin who goes once she sheds her clothes before a man
she becomes shy.................
i know brothers dont mind baring it
but in my opinion
since we are both in our birthday suits
what the hell
i aiint feeling shy over my body
its beautiful-i am proud of it
ok-so i aiint as bootilicious as Jlo
it will happen yet
in my lifetyme..................
but if some bro thinks if he happens to see me
i am gonna be embarrassed about it.........
it aiint happening
not unless my clothes get torn in the middle of third mainland bridge
or somewhere densely populated
but if its a brother at a tyme*wink*
even uninvited onlookers.............
i looooooooooooove my body.......................
come see
Friday, February 22, 2008
From Shacrown
Two Names you go by:
Ibi
Az
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
Jeans
Earrings
Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a Relationship
Chemistry
Honesty
Two of your favorite things to do
Watch movies
browse d net
Two things you want very badly at the moment:
Chocolates
More money
Two pets you had/have:
Cats
Chickens
Two things you did last night
Listened to Asa
Watched Tv
Two things you ate last night:
Yam
Fish
Two people you last talked to
Boss
Co-worker
Two longest car rides
Lagos-Jos
Lagos-Kano
Two favourite holidays
Christmas
Eid-Il-Kabir
Favourite Beverages
Milo
Milo
Person no longer alive you'd like to talk to
Gramps
Maternal Grandma
Ibi
Az
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
Jeans
Earrings
Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a Relationship
Chemistry
Honesty
Two of your favorite things to do
Watch movies
browse d net
Two things you want very badly at the moment:
Chocolates
More money
Two pets you had/have:
Cats
Chickens
Two things you did last night
Listened to Asa
Watched Tv
Two things you ate last night:
Yam
Fish
Two people you last talked to
Boss
Co-worker
Two longest car rides
Lagos-Jos
Lagos-Kano
Two favourite holidays
Christmas
Eid-Il-Kabir
Favourite Beverages
Milo
Milo
Person no longer alive you'd like to talk to
Gramps
Maternal Grandma
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Dream
O calls me yesterday to tell me about his befuddlement
He works for company V and gets a mouth watering offer from company M
he drops a letter for company V and is to start at company M 3rd march
thereby giving V two weeks notice
yesterday company M calls him up and says if he doesnt start work today 21st
the job goes to someone else........
So he has to come in to company V today and tie up loose ends since he cant work till the 29th no more
he really wants to work for M-more work load,better pay,car,experience,exposure-the works
but he just got slightly amazed over the *if he doesnt come today 21st he looses the offer*
i'm thinking some big shot@M wants his brother to have the job
havent spoken to him but he said he will be at M today
I just started with company A in feb
yesterday i got an offer from company E
*mouthwatering offer*
'cos i am going...........
just feels sad that just when i was building bonds at A
E sauntered in with this yummy deal
Last night i had a dream
O & I in bed together-just comforting each other
no intimacy.............
thing is -it couldn't ever happen
he is crazy in love with J and much as i love O
it's platonic
Does my dream have anything to do with the fact
that we are both changing jobs
both offers are contract positions
but i am thinking if we can both work our asses off for the next 2yrs
we get to stay dont we?
He works for company V and gets a mouth watering offer from company M
he drops a letter for company V and is to start at company M 3rd march
thereby giving V two weeks notice
yesterday company M calls him up and says if he doesnt start work today 21st
the job goes to someone else........
So he has to come in to company V today and tie up loose ends since he cant work till the 29th no more
he really wants to work for M-more work load,better pay,car,experience,exposure-the works
but he just got slightly amazed over the *if he doesnt come today 21st he looses the offer*
i'm thinking some big shot@M wants his brother to have the job
havent spoken to him but he said he will be at M today
I just started with company A in feb
yesterday i got an offer from company E
*mouthwatering offer*
'cos i am going...........
just feels sad that just when i was building bonds at A
E sauntered in with this yummy deal
Last night i had a dream
O & I in bed together-just comforting each other
no intimacy.............
thing is -it couldn't ever happen
he is crazy in love with J and much as i love O
it's platonic
Does my dream have anything to do with the fact
that we are both changing jobs
both offers are contract positions
but i am thinking if we can both work our asses off for the next 2yrs
we get to stay dont we?
Monday, February 18, 2008
Facebook,Grammar,Jokes
...........and Laspapi had to burst my bubble
Some addictions are a phase(even i know dat)
while i will never loose my addictions for
all things sweet(blame my incurable sweetooth for that)
I have been cured of my facebook addiction
not cos of laspapi's comment
even though this post makes it seem so..........
but......cos i think someone at work has decided
Ibi shall no longer have mins to spare for facebook
but i shall always find tyme to blog&do my rounds
I have a serious problem with people who have a problem with their tenses
while i understand that for such people it may
have started as a result of going to the wrong primary schools(not their fault)
what irks me is.........
*when they get older-y do they still have a problem&^%$#@*(&%#
i just cant stand it
anyone above 10 who goes
did u saw him?
should be SHOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So there's this guy who is trying...........
he's been sending mails,sms
then he calls and goes
did u saw him?
i think he needs to b shot
i have deleted his number
i have no plans to foster further friendship
or whatever he had in his little miind
with a person who cant have a conversation
with my 4yr old niece without me having heart palpitations
A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the female blonde driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"
The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener
Some addictions are a phase(even i know dat)
while i will never loose my addictions for
all things sweet(blame my incurable sweetooth for that)
I have been cured of my facebook addiction
not cos of laspapi's comment
even though this post makes it seem so..........
but......cos i think someone at work has decided
Ibi shall no longer have mins to spare for facebook
but i shall always find tyme to blog&do my rounds
I have a serious problem with people who have a problem with their tenses
while i understand that for such people it may
have started as a result of going to the wrong primary schools(not their fault)
what irks me is.........
*when they get older-y do they still have a problem&^%$#@*(&%#
i just cant stand it
anyone above 10 who goes
did u saw him?
should be SHOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So there's this guy who is trying...........
he's been sending mails,sms
then he calls and goes
did u saw him?
i think he needs to b shot
i have deleted his number
i have no plans to foster further friendship
or whatever he had in his little miind
with a person who cant have a conversation
with my 4yr old niece without me having heart palpitations
A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the female blonde driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"
The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener
Friday, February 15, 2008
What???,Jokes
Hey peeps
I am having bloggers block
When i first discovered facebook
i wasnt impressed..
i re-discovered it recently
and i have to not go to facebook till it's about an hour to go home
its sooooooooooo addictive
which brings me to my other addictions
icecream,movies,music,blogging,novels
i wonder if i deserve my earnings??
*wink*
ok so i am rambling.......
ENJOY
A new monk arrives at the monastery.
He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand.
He notices, however, that they are copying from copies,
not the original manuscripts.
So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this.
He points out that if there were an error in the first copy,
that error would be continued in all of the other copies.
The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for
centuries, but you make a good point, my son.
" So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to
check it against the original.
Hours go by and nobody sees him. So, one of the monks
goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from
the back of the cellar, and finds the old monk leaning over one
of the original books crying.
He asks the old monk what's wrong, and in a choked voice comes
the reply..."The word is 'celebrate.'"
A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like
his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign reading, “BEST DEALS.”
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign reading, “LOWEST PRICES.”
The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read: “MAIN ENTRANCE.”
have a fabulous weekend u all
i plan too
I am having bloggers block
When i first discovered facebook
i wasnt impressed..
i re-discovered it recently
and i have to not go to facebook till it's about an hour to go home
its sooooooooooo addictive
which brings me to my other addictions
icecream,movies,music,blogging,novels
i wonder if i deserve my earnings??
*wink*
ok so i am rambling.......
ENJOY
A new monk arrives at the monastery.
He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand.
He notices, however, that they are copying from copies,
not the original manuscripts.
So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this.
He points out that if there were an error in the first copy,
that error would be continued in all of the other copies.
The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for
centuries, but you make a good point, my son.
" So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to
check it against the original.
Hours go by and nobody sees him. So, one of the monks
goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from
the back of the cellar, and finds the old monk leaning over one
of the original books crying.
He asks the old monk what's wrong, and in a choked voice comes
the reply..."The word is 'celebrate.'"
A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like
his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign reading, “BEST DEALS.”
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign reading, “LOWEST PRICES.”
The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read: “MAIN ENTRANCE.”
have a fabulous weekend u all
i plan too
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine
I got what i wanted
remember i said it didn't matter where it came from
i was willing to perch
A cake
My boss got all the ladies at work a cake
so i got a cake
yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I wish u all a day that will gladden ur heart
and make u warm all over
have a happy happy val's day
Joke-Couldn't resist
One day a man tried to get a job with a great company.
He passed every test with flying colors,
but during the final interview,
the CEO told him that his constant blinking
would bother customers.
"I can fix that with some aspirin.
I'll just take some and be better in a second.
" So, he reaches into his pocket and pulls
condom after condom out until he finds the aspirin.
He takes it and his blinking goes away.
The CEO says, "We don't approve of womanizing!"
The guy says "Oh, no!
Have you ever tried to ask a pharmacist
for aspirin while you’re winking?"
remember i said it didn't matter where it came from
i was willing to perch
A cake
My boss got all the ladies at work a cake
so i got a cake
yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I wish u all a day that will gladden ur heart
and make u warm all over
have a happy happy val's day
Joke-Couldn't resist
One day a man tried to get a job with a great company.
He passed every test with flying colors,
but during the final interview,
the CEO told him that his constant blinking
would bother customers.
"I can fix that with some aspirin.
I'll just take some and be better in a second.
" So, he reaches into his pocket and pulls
condom after condom out until he finds the aspirin.
He takes it and his blinking goes away.
The CEO says, "We don't approve of womanizing!"
The guy says "Oh, no!
Have you ever tried to ask a pharmacist
for aspirin while you’re winking?"
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Disappearing val,Jokes
So i met this guy last year-Jan
He professed love after 4 days
i wasnt falling for that shit
moreover all i ever wanted from him
was a friendship or an acquaintanship
love?hell no
so he asks me like a few days to val(last year)
what do i want for vals
i say nothing
he pesters-i insist nothing
he then suggests
he will come take me out to diinner
thing is i hate dinner at a fast food restaurant on val's
especially with a person i wasnt feeling hot about
he calls me
says he wil be at my place in another hour
this was about 7pm
i never saw him
i never called him
his love died a natural death
didnt hear from him...........
TODAY i met him online
he says hi
we chat
next thing i know he is asking for my number
yes the mo' fu' lost it
i gave it to him
then he goes he needs to see me
i am wondering y
i ask y we need to see
he says he REALLLY NEEDS TO SEE ME
can someone out there remind him
tom is vals day
is he trying to do another disappearing act?
i feel no anger or anticipation
i am just stupefied at him
is he normal *&^%$^&^$$
he did call
i was in no mood for a conversation
y did i give him my number?
i'd just rather let him have it
than get it from any other mo' fu'
i can always ignore his calls
so he knows i dont wanna talk to him
when i ignore his calls
as much as i am hoping to get a piece of cake
(remember my friend's boyf-who should get her a cake)
if it comes from him....
i will give it out
A guy walked into a bar and sat down next to an extremely gorgeous
woman. The first thing he noticed about her was her pants.
They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no zippers, buttons
or velcro for opening them. After several minutes of puzzling over
how she got the pants up over her hips, he finally worked up the
nerve to ask her.
"Excuse me miss, but how do you get into your pants?" he asks.
"Well," she replied, "You can start by buying me a drink."
Larry was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when
he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Bill Johnson,
who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager.
Larry, somewhat of a loudmouth, shouted across the garage,
"Hey Johnson... Is that you? Come over here a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Larry
was working on a car. "So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at this work.
I also take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I
finish this baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get
the big bucks when you and me are doing basically the same work?"
Johnson, very embarrassed, walked away and said softly to Larry, "Try doing your work with the engine running."
An extremely shy fellow brought his date a bouquet of flowers.
She threw her arms around him and kissed him long and hard.
After the kiss, he turned and bolted for the door.
She exclaimed, "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."
"You didn't!" he replied. "I'm going out to buy you some jewelry
An Irishman walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "What'll you have?"
The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one,
then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.
The bartender says, "Sir, you don't have to order three at a time.
I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."
The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States.
We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together.
So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.”
The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers.
Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.
The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that
I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."
The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine -- I just quit drinking."
He professed love after 4 days
i wasnt falling for that shit
moreover all i ever wanted from him
was a friendship or an acquaintanship
love?hell no
so he asks me like a few days to val(last year)
what do i want for vals
i say nothing
he pesters-i insist nothing
he then suggests
he will come take me out to diinner
thing is i hate dinner at a fast food restaurant on val's
especially with a person i wasnt feeling hot about
he calls me
says he wil be at my place in another hour
this was about 7pm
i never saw him
i never called him
his love died a natural death
didnt hear from him...........
TODAY i met him online
he says hi
we chat
next thing i know he is asking for my number
yes the mo' fu' lost it
i gave it to him
then he goes he needs to see me
i am wondering y
i ask y we need to see
he says he REALLLY NEEDS TO SEE ME
can someone out there remind him
tom is vals day
is he trying to do another disappearing act?
i feel no anger or anticipation
i am just stupefied at him
is he normal *&^%$^&^$$
he did call
i was in no mood for a conversation
y did i give him my number?
i'd just rather let him have it
than get it from any other mo' fu'
i can always ignore his calls
so he knows i dont wanna talk to him
when i ignore his calls
as much as i am hoping to get a piece of cake
(remember my friend's boyf-who should get her a cake)
if it comes from him....
i will give it out
A guy walked into a bar and sat down next to an extremely gorgeous
woman. The first thing he noticed about her was her pants.
They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no zippers, buttons
or velcro for opening them. After several minutes of puzzling over
how she got the pants up over her hips, he finally worked up the
nerve to ask her.
"Excuse me miss, but how do you get into your pants?" he asks.
"Well," she replied, "You can start by buying me a drink."
Larry was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when
he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Bill Johnson,
who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager.
Larry, somewhat of a loudmouth, shouted across the garage,
"Hey Johnson... Is that you? Come over here a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Larry
was working on a car. "So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at this work.
I also take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I
finish this baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get
the big bucks when you and me are doing basically the same work?"
Johnson, very embarrassed, walked away and said softly to Larry, "Try doing your work with the engine running."
An extremely shy fellow brought his date a bouquet of flowers.
She threw her arms around him and kissed him long and hard.
After the kiss, he turned and bolted for the door.
She exclaimed, "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."
"You didn't!" he replied. "I'm going out to buy you some jewelry
An Irishman walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "What'll you have?"
The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one,
then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.
The bartender says, "Sir, you don't have to order three at a time.
I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."
The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States.
We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together.
So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.”
The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers.
Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.
The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that
I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."
The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine -- I just quit drinking."
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Mobile,Babes,Love is, Jokes
cant remember my life without my mobile anymore
is it just me??????
i obsess about the sms's on my fone
any texts that is personal is deleted once read
any text that can be misconstrued is deleted
cos some people are just nosy parkers.........
i think a lot of kids out dia are loving the *twins*
their mum's and any other........
had *my* encounter on sun
first thing the little lady did was pinch me on the boobs
then she proceeded to kick me
i think cos i wasn't forthcoming
her mum kept apologising.........
but i didnt give a hoot
she could have kicked me from here to the bahamas
for all i care
she has no claim on my twins
so if she was showing her displeasure........
it was my pleasure to displease her
You dont have to find the perfect person
to experience perfect love
Love is when you care about someone else's
happiness always and forever
whether or not-you are destined to be together
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine
restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman
comes over to their table, gives the husband a big
kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell
was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife.
"I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband,
"but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you
don't get any more shopping trips to Paris,no more
wintering in Barbados , no more summers in
Tuscany ,no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no
more yacht club.But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant
with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
While sports fishing off the Florida coast,
a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators
kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,
"Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber replied. "The sharks got 'em
The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day
and told him to come into his office.
"What is your name?" was the first thing he asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of
a namby-pamby place you worked at before,
but I don't call anyone by their first name.
It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.
I refer to my employees by their last name only --
Smith, Jones, Baker -- that's all.
I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson.
Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling."
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."
is it just me??????
i obsess about the sms's on my fone
any texts that is personal is deleted once read
any text that can be misconstrued is deleted
cos some people are just nosy parkers.........
i think a lot of kids out dia are loving the *twins*
their mum's and any other........
had *my* encounter on sun
first thing the little lady did was pinch me on the boobs
then she proceeded to kick me
i think cos i wasn't forthcoming
her mum kept apologising.........
but i didnt give a hoot
she could have kicked me from here to the bahamas
for all i care
she has no claim on my twins
so if she was showing her displeasure........
it was my pleasure to displease her
You dont have to find the perfect person
to experience perfect love
Love is when you care about someone else's
happiness always and forever
whether or not-you are destined to be together
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine
restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman
comes over to their table, gives the husband a big
kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell
was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife.
"I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband,
"but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you
don't get any more shopping trips to Paris,no more
wintering in Barbados , no more summers in
Tuscany ,no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no
more yacht club.But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant
with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
While sports fishing off the Florida coast,
a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators
kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,
"Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber replied. "The sharks got 'em
The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day
and told him to come into his office.
"What is your name?" was the first thing he asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of
a namby-pamby place you worked at before,
but I don't call anyone by their first name.
It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.
I refer to my employees by their last name only --
Smith, Jones, Baker -- that's all.
I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson.
Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling."
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."
Monday, February 11, 2008
Jokes.......Flyer
Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.
"Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?"
asked the first guy.
"Well, not exactly. She's more into the trick dog aspect of it," replied his friend.
"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?" asked the first guy.
"Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg; then she rolls over and plays dead."
A Nigerian and an American man are sitting next to
each other on a long flight from London to New York .
The American man leans over to the Nigerian and asks
if he would like to play a fun game.
The Nigerian just wants to take a nap, so he politely
declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few
winks.
The American man persists and explains that the game
is real easy and is a lot of fun. He explains "I ask
you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you
pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't
know the answer, I'll pay you $5."
Again, the Nigerian politely declines and tries to get
to sleep.
The American man,now somewhat agitated, says, "OK,
if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I
don't know the answer, I'll pay you $100!"
This catches the Nigerian's attention, and he sees no
end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to
the game.
The American asks the first question. "What's the
distance from the earth to the moon?" The Nigerian
doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls
out a five dollar bill and hands it to the American.
Now, it's the Nigerian's turn. He asks the American
"What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down
on four?"
The American looks up at him with a puzzled look. He
takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his
references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem
and searches the net and the Library of Congress.
Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers-- all to
no avail.
After about an hour, he wakes the Nigerian and hands
him $100. The Nigerian politely takes the $100 and
turns away to try to get back to sleep. The American,
more than a little miffed, shakes the Nigerian and
asks "Well, so what's the answer?" Without a word, the
Nigerian reaches into his wallet, hands the American
$5, and turns away to get back to sleep.
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window
"I want to open a damn checking account."
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir;
I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account right now!"
"I'm very sorry, sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank.
" So saying, the teller leaves the window and goes over
to the bank manager to tell him about the situation.
They both return and the manager asks the old geezer,
"What seems to be the problem here?"
"There's no problem, damn it!" the man says,
"I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery
and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!"
"I see," says the manager. "Is this bitch giving you a hard time?"
So i got this flyer
some woman calls herself
prophetess evangelist chaplain major general president overseer of a minsistry
is it just me,or does she need all these titles?????
she goes on to tell us the good she's done and
wants to continue to do for beggers,destitutes
the handicapped,the deaf,dumb,elderly pple,motherless babies,refugees,widows,hospitals and prisons
whilst i commend her and appreciate what she's doing
i have an issue with her asking us to help her cause
by sending money in two accounts both with the same bank
one savings,the other current
but both in *her* name
i am thinking y?
how does she account for all the money that goes in????
i know it's a question of integrity
but for proper accountability........
i think it should be an account in a company name
with other signatories
no offence intended but is it just me who thinks
thats the way it should b????????
"Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?"
asked the first guy.
"Well, not exactly. She's more into the trick dog aspect of it," replied his friend.
"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?" asked the first guy.
"Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg; then she rolls over and plays dead."
A Nigerian and an American man are sitting next to
each other on a long flight from London to New York .
The American man leans over to the Nigerian and asks
if he would like to play a fun game.
The Nigerian just wants to take a nap, so he politely
declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few
winks.
The American man persists and explains that the game
is real easy and is a lot of fun. He explains "I ask
you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you
pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't
know the answer, I'll pay you $5."
Again, the Nigerian politely declines and tries to get
to sleep.
The American man,now somewhat agitated, says, "OK,
if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I
don't know the answer, I'll pay you $100!"
This catches the Nigerian's attention, and he sees no
end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to
the game.
The American asks the first question. "What's the
distance from the earth to the moon?" The Nigerian
doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls
out a five dollar bill and hands it to the American.
Now, it's the Nigerian's turn. He asks the American
"What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down
on four?"
The American looks up at him with a puzzled look. He
takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his
references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem
and searches the net and the Library of Congress.
Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers-- all to
no avail.
After about an hour, he wakes the Nigerian and hands
him $100. The Nigerian politely takes the $100 and
turns away to try to get back to sleep. The American,
more than a little miffed, shakes the Nigerian and
asks "Well, so what's the answer?" Without a word, the
Nigerian reaches into his wallet, hands the American
$5, and turns away to get back to sleep.
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window
"I want to open a damn checking account."
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir;
I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account right now!"
"I'm very sorry, sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank.
" So saying, the teller leaves the window and goes over
to the bank manager to tell him about the situation.
They both return and the manager asks the old geezer,
"What seems to be the problem here?"
"There's no problem, damn it!" the man says,
"I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery
and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!"
"I see," says the manager. "Is this bitch giving you a hard time?"
So i got this flyer
some woman calls herself
prophetess evangelist chaplain major general president overseer of a minsistry
is it just me,or does she need all these titles?????
she goes on to tell us the good she's done and
wants to continue to do for beggers,destitutes
the handicapped,the deaf,dumb,elderly pple,motherless babies,refugees,widows,hospitals and prisons
whilst i commend her and appreciate what she's doing
i have an issue with her asking us to help her cause
by sending money in two accounts both with the same bank
one savings,the other current
but both in *her* name
i am thinking y?
how does she account for all the money that goes in????
i know it's a question of integrity
but for proper accountability........
i think it should be an account in a company name
with other signatories
no offence intended but is it just me who thinks
thats the way it should b????????
Friday, February 8, 2008
Joke,Val cake,My Mantra,Love is...
An old lady was rocking away the last of her days on her front porch,
reflecting on her long life,when all of a sudden a fairy godmother appeared
in front of her and informed her that she will be granted three wishes.
"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich."
POOF! Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
"And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess."
POOF! She turns into a beautiful young woman.
"Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother.
Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them.
"Ooh can you change him into a handsome prince and make him my husband?" she asks.
POOF! There, before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone she could
possibly imagine.
She stares at him, smitten.
With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters
across the porch and whispers in her ear:
"Bet you’re sorry you had me neutered."
Ok so i am valess(i don't have a val)
but i've developed a craving for a *val* cake
so i dropped not so subtle hints to my pal's boyfriend
that she will appreciate a cake for val
(along wit whatever else he wanted to give her)
thing is..........i will get to eat some
i know so-she cant finish it all by herself
she will need help and i will be there(i am salivating)
i just hope he gets the hint*wink*
God may not answer you when u want but he is always on time
love is many things.it's varied,
one thing it is not and can never b is unsure
it's true dat most times we cant help those most close to us
either in part cos we don't know which part to give
or the part we have to give is not wanted
and that is why it's so that those we live wit and should know...........elude us
but we can still love them..........
we can love completely without complete understanding
Have a fabulous weekend
see ya all Mon
MWAH
reflecting on her long life,when all of a sudden a fairy godmother appeared
in front of her and informed her that she will be granted three wishes.
"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich."
POOF! Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
"And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess."
POOF! She turns into a beautiful young woman.
"Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother.
Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them.
"Ooh can you change him into a handsome prince and make him my husband?" she asks.
POOF! There, before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone she could
possibly imagine.
She stares at him, smitten.
With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters
across the porch and whispers in her ear:
"Bet you’re sorry you had me neutered."
Ok so i am valess(i don't have a val)
but i've developed a craving for a *val* cake
so i dropped not so subtle hints to my pal's boyfriend
that she will appreciate a cake for val
(along wit whatever else he wanted to give her)
thing is..........i will get to eat some
i know so-she cant finish it all by herself
she will need help and i will be there(i am salivating)
i just hope he gets the hint*wink*
God may not answer you when u want but he is always on time
love is many things.it's varied,
one thing it is not and can never b is unsure
it's true dat most times we cant help those most close to us
either in part cos we don't know which part to give
or the part we have to give is not wanted
and that is why it's so that those we live wit and should know...........elude us
but we can still love them..........
we can love completely without complete understanding
Have a fabulous weekend
see ya all Mon
MWAH
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Latecomer?Bus ride,The Miser,Impossible Situations
So i should get to work at 745am
I usually make it there anytyme from 750-810am
does that make me a latecomer?
no one is complaining though..........
OK in the bus today this chic was harrasing the driver about waiting at *every* bustop for passengers
i wonder-will he take an half empty bus to the island so u wont b late to work?
if u wanted to get to work on tyme...u leave home at the right tyme
not so?
There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real "miser" when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife..."When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."
And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.
Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,
"Wait just a moment!"
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said,
"Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband."
The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him."
You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it."
Impossible Situations
These are some situations that seem illogical but actually possible. This type of puzzle is the subset of Situation Puzzle or sometimes known as Lateral Thinking Puzzle.
How can these situations be possible?
One day a girl celebrated her birthday. Two days later, her older twin brother celebrated his.
Each of the two persons is standing behind the other one.
A father and his son were in a car accident. The father was dead on impact. The son was severely injured and rushed to the hospital. However, the surgeon refused to operate on the injured boy, saying "I can't operate on him, he's my son!"
A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year but they were not twins.
A person was born on December, but her birthday is always in the summer.
Alan was 27 years old the day before yesterday. Next year he will be 30.
Two people are talking on the phone long distance. One is in an East Coast state of the United States, the other is in a West Coast state of the United States. The first asks the other, "What time is it?" He hears the answer and says, "That's
funny. It's the same time here!" Neither one of them were mistaken about the time.
I have 2 windows in the front of my house. Each window is square, 4 feet high and 4 feet wide. But one window is twice as large as the other.
A man leaves home one night and drives over a mile to meet a friend for a drink. When the man arrives home, the clock shows a time only five minutes later than when he left.
Three large people try to crowd under one small umbrella, but nobody gets wet.
A man has twelve toothpicks in front of him. He takes one away, and now he has nine in front of him.
Two nurses are going to a hospital. One of them is the mother of the other's daughter.
A woman has five children and half of them are boys.
Two sons and two fathers go fishing. They each catch one fish. The total number of fish they caught was only 3.
A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts, to parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts. The child is not a United States citizen.
Answers
Their mother gave birth while in a boat that was going to cross the International Date Line on a non-leap year. The boy,the older twin, was born early on March 1st. Then the boat crossed the International Date Line, and the girl was born on
February 28th. In a leap year, the younger twin celebrates her birthday two days before her older bother.
They are standing back-to-back
The surgeon is the boy's mother.
They are two of a triple/quadruple...
She was born in Australia.
Alan was born on December 31st, and today is January 1st.
One is in Eastern Oregon (Mountain time); the other in Western Florida (Central time), and the phone call takes place on daylight-savings-time changeover day at 1:30am.
The smaller window is tilted 45 degrees to make a diamond shape. It measures 4 feet horizontally and vertically from corner to opposite corner, while the larger window measures 4 feet along each side.
The man left his house just before the clocks were set back 1 hour for daylight savings time in the fall. His wife set the clock to show the correct time.
It is not raining.
The remaining 11 toothpicks were arranged to spell the word NINE.
They are a couple, a husband and wife.
She has all boys.
It is a grandfather, a father, and a son. The father is a son to the grandfather, and a father to the son.
The child was born before 1776.
I usually make it there anytyme from 750-810am
does that make me a latecomer?
no one is complaining though..........
OK in the bus today this chic was harrasing the driver about waiting at *every* bustop for passengers
i wonder-will he take an half empty bus to the island so u wont b late to work?
if u wanted to get to work on tyme...u leave home at the right tyme
not so?
There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real "miser" when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife..."When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."
And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.
Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,
"Wait just a moment!"
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said,
"Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband."
The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him."
You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it."
Impossible Situations
These are some situations that seem illogical but actually possible. This type of puzzle is the subset of Situation Puzzle or sometimes known as Lateral Thinking Puzzle.
How can these situations be possible?
One day a girl celebrated her birthday. Two days later, her older twin brother celebrated his.
Each of the two persons is standing behind the other one.
A father and his son were in a car accident. The father was dead on impact. The son was severely injured and rushed to the hospital. However, the surgeon refused to operate on the injured boy, saying "I can't operate on him, he's my son!"
A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year but they were not twins.
A person was born on December, but her birthday is always in the summer.
Alan was 27 years old the day before yesterday. Next year he will be 30.
Two people are talking on the phone long distance. One is in an East Coast state of the United States, the other is in a West Coast state of the United States. The first asks the other, "What time is it?" He hears the answer and says, "That's
funny. It's the same time here!" Neither one of them were mistaken about the time.
I have 2 windows in the front of my house. Each window is square, 4 feet high and 4 feet wide. But one window is twice as large as the other.
A man leaves home one night and drives over a mile to meet a friend for a drink. When the man arrives home, the clock shows a time only five minutes later than when he left.
Three large people try to crowd under one small umbrella, but nobody gets wet.
A man has twelve toothpicks in front of him. He takes one away, and now he has nine in front of him.
Two nurses are going to a hospital. One of them is the mother of the other's daughter.
A woman has five children and half of them are boys.
Two sons and two fathers go fishing. They each catch one fish. The total number of fish they caught was only 3.
A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts, to parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts. The child is not a United States citizen.
Answers
Their mother gave birth while in a boat that was going to cross the International Date Line on a non-leap year. The boy,the older twin, was born early on March 1st. Then the boat crossed the International Date Line, and the girl was born on
February 28th. In a leap year, the younger twin celebrates her birthday two days before her older bother.
They are standing back-to-back
The surgeon is the boy's mother.
They are two of a triple/quadruple...
She was born in Australia.
Alan was born on December 31st, and today is January 1st.
One is in Eastern Oregon (Mountain time); the other in Western Florida (Central time), and the phone call takes place on daylight-savings-time changeover day at 1:30am.
The smaller window is tilted 45 degrees to make a diamond shape. It measures 4 feet horizontally and vertically from corner to opposite corner, while the larger window measures 4 feet along each side.
The man left his house just before the clocks were set back 1 hour for daylight savings time in the fall. His wife set the clock to show the correct time.
It is not raining.
The remaining 11 toothpicks were arranged to spell the word NINE.
They are a couple, a husband and wife.
She has all boys.
It is a grandfather, a father, and a son. The father is a son to the grandfather, and a father to the son.
The child was born before 1776.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Memory Loss,Cakes,Phones,Lack of use
So scientists have discovered that women have some sort of memory loss when *pregnant*
so when anyone u know is preggers and seems forgetfull..................
aiint her fault
blame the foetus!!!!!!!!!
about cakes...
www.bakersworldcakes.com
they deliver free if u book a cake worth 3500 and more
ehm ehm
i need a cake ooooooooo
*wink*
Would you like to know if your mobile is original or not?!!
Type *#06# on your mobile phone and the-International Mobile Equipment
Identity (IMEI) number appears.
Check the 7th and 8th digits.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 th 8 th 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Phone serial no. x x x x x x x x x x x x
CLUES
1. IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 02 or 20 that mean it was assembled
in the Emirates which is very Bad quality
2. IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 08 or 80 that means it was
manufactured in Germany which is not bad
3. IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 01 or 10 that mean it's manufactured
in Finland which is Good
4. IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 00 that means it was manufactured in
original factory which is the best Mobile Quality ...
5. IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 13 that means it was assembled in
Azerbaijan which is very poor quality and potentially very dangerous to your
health!!
SO WHEN NEXT YOU GO OUT TO BUY A HANDSET, YOU KNOW WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR
Lack of use
A woman came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. The wife was VERY upset!
"You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children? I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away! “And he replied:” Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened" "Fine, go ahead", she sobbed, “but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
And he began: "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.
She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair like them.
He took a quick breath and continued: "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,'"Please, do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'
so when anyone u know is preggers and seems forgetfull..................
aiint her fault
blame the foetus!!!!!!!!!
about cakes...
www.bakersworldcakes.com
they deliver free if u book a cake worth 3500 and more
ehm ehm
i need a cake ooooooooo
*wink*
Would you like to know if your mobile is original or not?!!
Type *#06# on your mobile phone and the-International Mobile Equipment
Identity (IMEI) number appears.
Check the 7th and 8th digits.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 th 8 th 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Phone serial no. x x x x x x x x x x x x
CLUES
1. IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 02 or 20 that mean it was assembled
in the Emirates which is very Bad quality
2. IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 08 or 80 that means it was
manufactured in Germany which is not bad
3. IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 01 or 10 that mean it's manufactured
in Finland which is Good
4. IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 00 that means it was manufactured in
original factory which is the best Mobile Quality ...
5. IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 13 that means it was assembled in
Azerbaijan which is very poor quality and potentially very dangerous to your
health!!
SO WHEN NEXT YOU GO OUT TO BUY A HANDSET, YOU KNOW WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR
Lack of use
A woman came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. The wife was VERY upset!
"You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children? I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away! “And he replied:” Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened" "Fine, go ahead", she sobbed, “but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
And he began: "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.
She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair like them.
He took a quick breath and continued: "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,'"Please, do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'
Monday, February 4, 2008
Bus Ride
As unprepared as we were
i still expected a miracle as always
but Ghana is hosting to win apparently
we lost
thank God for the penalty
them for beat us 2-0
a lot of stuff goes on in people's lives
I enjoy bus rides in this city of lagos(sometymes)
one gets to hear all sorts
there was this woman,her grievance was that the fees lastma charges traffic offenders is too high
they should bring it to the barest minimum so people will not find it hard to pay
i disagree-the whole idea is no one should disobey traffic rules,if there is a steep fee to pay,people will learn to be cautious,why make it cheap?
so people can knowingly do damage to other road users just cos the fine is easy to pay?
one man's problem-atms
he picked a card
didnt change the original pin
which in my opinion is easily accessible to "any" hacker
so he uses his atm at an eatery
where he said a software programme was installed to take down pin numbers and card numbers of all atm cards used on it
i dont know how he came by the info.....
someone somewhere hacked into the system
he lost 20,000 naira
he went to the bank to complain-they showed him the transaction-no foul play detected
he has confisticated the atm card
he doesnt need it anymore-he says
he cant afford to loose money he didnt spend
i know people do all sorts with atm machines&stolen cards
i think maybe his money wouldn't have been tampered with
if only he had followed a simple instruction
"change your pin(personalise it)as soon as u receive your card"
another woman's grouse-she's been on leave
she noticed a lot of families seem to have men and women who stay at home all day and seemingly have no source of income but have what everyone else that has an 8-6(not9-5) thrive for....'the good life'
Large head..........sorry about ur cake saga....next tyme you need to book for a cake and pay for them to deliver...try Upper Crust and OR Cakes and Cream
i still expected a miracle as always
but Ghana is hosting to win apparently
we lost
thank God for the penalty
them for beat us 2-0
a lot of stuff goes on in people's lives
I enjoy bus rides in this city of lagos(sometymes)
one gets to hear all sorts
there was this woman,her grievance was that the fees lastma charges traffic offenders is too high
they should bring it to the barest minimum so people will not find it hard to pay
i disagree-the whole idea is no one should disobey traffic rules,if there is a steep fee to pay,people will learn to be cautious,why make it cheap?
so people can knowingly do damage to other road users just cos the fine is easy to pay?
one man's problem-atms
he picked a card
didnt change the original pin
which in my opinion is easily accessible to "any" hacker
so he uses his atm at an eatery
where he said a software programme was installed to take down pin numbers and card numbers of all atm cards used on it
i dont know how he came by the info.....
someone somewhere hacked into the system
he lost 20,000 naira
he went to the bank to complain-they showed him the transaction-no foul play detected
he has confisticated the atm card
he doesnt need it anymore-he says
he cant afford to loose money he didnt spend
i know people do all sorts with atm machines&stolen cards
i think maybe his money wouldn't have been tampered with
if only he had followed a simple instruction
"change your pin(personalise it)as soon as u receive your card"
another woman's grouse-she's been on leave
she noticed a lot of families seem to have men and women who stay at home all day and seemingly have no source of income but have what everyone else that has an 8-6(not9-5) thrive for....'the good life'
Large head..........sorry about ur cake saga....next tyme you need to book for a cake and pay for them to deliver...try Upper Crust and OR Cakes and Cream
Friday, February 1, 2008
men v women-choices,consent form
Scientists have confirmed what we knew all along
men go for looks when choosing a mate
women are far choosier
a speed dating project in munich,germany
men and women 26-40 ticked off their likes and dislikes after chatting for a few minutes
for men, attractiveness was on top of the list regardless of personality,professionalism or charm
for females,sensitivity,humour,charisma were reasons for second dates
What do u all think?
Dear All,
Following the rape accusation against Jacob Zuma and Kiiza Besigye, it is inevitable for men to start legally protecting themselves. Here is an agreement we are supposed to enter into when we have a date. Your comments please....please make sure all the documentations are fully signed and are in safe repository before doing the actual execution.
CONSENT FORM TO BE SIGNED BEFORE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE (MEN's PROTECTION DESIGNED AFTER THE JACOB ZUMA INCIDENT AND/OR CASE)
1. I _______________________, the undersigned female partner
(herein referred to as the "screwee"), about to enjoy sexual intercourse
with _______________ (hereafter referred to as the "screwer"), certify as follows:
1. THAT I am above the lawful age of consent.
2. THAT I am not under the influence of any narcotic substance(s).
3. THAT the aforementioned screwer did not use any force, threats, coercion or promises to influence me.
4. THAT I, the screwee, has no fear of him whatsoever.
5. THAT I do not expect or wish to marry him
6. THAT I do not know if he is married or not and I do not care.
7. THAT I am neither asleep nor drunk
8. THAT I am entering this relationship with him because I love it and want it as much as he does.
9. THAT in the event that I receive full and 'delicious' satisfaction, which I expect, I declare in advance, the capacity and willingness for further participation as soon as time permits.
10. THAT I will not act as a witness against him nor will I file charges against him in the event that:
10.1 I contract a sexual disease
10.2 I fall pregnant
10.3. I feel that he is violating any legislation - moral, legal or otherwise.
SIGNED BEFORE JUMPING INTO BED THIS _______ DAY OF (MONTH)____________
(YEAR) ___________ AT ___________________
Signature of screwee : ___________________
Date of birth : ___________________
Date of conduct : ___________________
men go for looks when choosing a mate
women are far choosier
a speed dating project in munich,germany
men and women 26-40 ticked off their likes and dislikes after chatting for a few minutes
for men, attractiveness was on top of the list regardless of personality,professionalism or charm
for females,sensitivity,humour,charisma were reasons for second dates
What do u all think?
Dear All,
Following the rape accusation against Jacob Zuma and Kiiza Besigye, it is inevitable for men to start legally protecting themselves. Here is an agreement we are supposed to enter into when we have a date. Your comments please....please make sure all the documentations are fully signed and are in safe repository before doing the actual execution.
CONSENT FORM TO BE SIGNED BEFORE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE (MEN's PROTECTION DESIGNED AFTER THE JACOB ZUMA INCIDENT AND/OR CASE)
1. I _______________________, the undersigned female partner
(herein referred to as the "screwee"), about to enjoy sexual intercourse
with _______________ (hereafter referred to as the "screwer"), certify as follows:
1. THAT I am above the lawful age of consent.
2. THAT I am not under the influence of any narcotic substance(s).
3. THAT the aforementioned screwer did not use any force, threats, coercion or promises to influence me.
4. THAT I, the screwee, has no fear of him whatsoever.
5. THAT I do not expect or wish to marry him
6. THAT I do not know if he is married or not and I do not care.
7. THAT I am neither asleep nor drunk
8. THAT I am entering this relationship with him because I love it and want it as much as he does.
9. THAT in the event that I receive full and 'delicious' satisfaction, which I expect, I declare in advance, the capacity and willingness for further participation as soon as time permits.
10. THAT I will not act as a witness against him nor will I file charges against him in the event that:
10.1 I contract a sexual disease
10.2 I fall pregnant
10.3. I feel that he is violating any legislation - moral, legal or otherwise.
SIGNED BEFORE JUMPING INTO BED THIS _______ DAY OF (MONTH)____________
(YEAR) ___________ AT ___________________
Signature of screwee : ___________________
Date of birth : ___________________
Date of conduct : ___________________
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Biceps
saw a guy today with bulging biceps-hmmmm
the sun was shining-his skin was glistening in the sun
he lifted 4 crates of Guinness 'with ease'
nice show
i remember an incident when my younger brother Sup was about 13
this guy in my opinion couldn't cook(then) to save his life
that day he showed me he could
mom and i went out
we knew we had just a little stew at home
but we planned not to go to the market
when we get home,we would prepare a bowl of eba and all 6 of us would eat together(mom,I,brothers&cousins)
we tagged such meals as 'family'-no one got individual plates
we got a big bowl made food and sat to eat together
but the eldest had to make sure for every bolus you swallow the youngest has two to swallow.....
it so happens a friend of my mom came to visit a few minutes after we left
So she waited a while....
after about 3hours ,Sup decided she must be hungry so he asks if she would like to have lunch-she says yes-so he goes into the kitchen-prepares eba for two, (considering the bowl i had to wash when i got home)the friend of my mum is a hearty eater-slim as a rake but eats enuff for two
anyways he was generous with the stew and meat:i was mentally devouring on the way back home.
we return home a full hour after the guest has digested the food and gone home only to get home hungry to an empty pot
we didnt get mad-we laughed our heads off
i just couldnt get over the fact that Sup could make 'edible eba'
that day was tagged alejo day(alejo means visitor)
to this day the easiest way to describe *the woman* to anyone is to say
that mum's friend 'alejo sup'
yea-u guessed right-i had to go to the market and cook
My first crush's'
Amitabh Bachan-all that chest hair-marvelous
Bruce Willis-from watching Moonlighting
Jake and the fat man-he always got the girls
Beyonce is allergic to perfume
I hate to go into lifts alone
Beyonce's cat is named master P
I hate smoking(the habit)i don't smoke and i abhor it in others
Beyonce was discovered by Whitney Houston
I hate it when anyone raises their voice at me
Beyonce's first solo-dangerously in love got her 5 grammys
I hate the greediness abound in our country
Beyonce's nicknames include Juju bee,foxxy
I hate it when the traffic light turns red just when i get there
Most common fear-Odynophobia-fear of pain
A man buys a PC
he is setting it up in the room
system asks for 'password'
he decides to be naughty and types 'penis'
system says 'password rejected not long enough'
wife bursts out laughing
'however did the system know?'
*wink*
the sun was shining-his skin was glistening in the sun
he lifted 4 crates of Guinness 'with ease'
nice show
i remember an incident when my younger brother Sup was about 13
this guy in my opinion couldn't cook(then) to save his life
that day he showed me he could
mom and i went out
we knew we had just a little stew at home
but we planned not to go to the market
when we get home,we would prepare a bowl of eba and all 6 of us would eat together(mom,I,brothers&cousins)
we tagged such meals as 'family'-no one got individual plates
we got a big bowl made food and sat to eat together
but the eldest had to make sure for every bolus you swallow the youngest has two to swallow.....
it so happens a friend of my mom came to visit a few minutes after we left
So she waited a while....
after about 3hours ,Sup decided she must be hungry so he asks if she would like to have lunch-she says yes-so he goes into the kitchen-prepares eba for two, (considering the bowl i had to wash when i got home)the friend of my mum is a hearty eater-slim as a rake but eats enuff for two
anyways he was generous with the stew and meat:i was mentally devouring on the way back home.
we return home a full hour after the guest has digested the food and gone home only to get home hungry to an empty pot
we didnt get mad-we laughed our heads off
i just couldnt get over the fact that Sup could make 'edible eba'
that day was tagged alejo day(alejo means visitor)
to this day the easiest way to describe *the woman* to anyone is to say
that mum's friend 'alejo sup'
yea-u guessed right-i had to go to the market and cook
My first crush's'
Amitabh Bachan-all that chest hair-marvelous
Bruce Willis-from watching Moonlighting
Jake and the fat man-he always got the girls
Beyonce is allergic to perfume
I hate to go into lifts alone
Beyonce's cat is named master P
I hate smoking(the habit)i don't smoke and i abhor it in others
Beyonce was discovered by Whitney Houston
I hate it when anyone raises their voice at me
Beyonce's first solo-dangerously in love got her 5 grammys
I hate the greediness abound in our country
Beyonce's nicknames include Juju bee,foxxy
I hate it when the traffic light turns red just when i get there
Most common fear-Odynophobia-fear of pain
A man buys a PC
he is setting it up in the room
system asks for 'password'
he decides to be naughty and types 'penis'
system says 'password rejected not long enough'
wife bursts out laughing
'however did the system know?'
*wink*
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Barka da sallah
My first sallah withhout Gramps
was good but oddos
but its all good
my cousin has a facial palsy
all started after a horrible flight on chanchangi-to abuja and irs-to lagos
she fanned herself from abuja to lagos in the irs plane
she got an earache
got home-slept
woke up with a numb face(left side)
by eveninig she was in hospital
had a cat scan, brain scan all sorts of tests
well shes home now
she has stopped stammering
but only the right side of her face is moving
she gets physiotherapy daily
she wants to go to the states
she doesnt think she is getting the best treatment
doc at saint nicholas said she may have the palsy for 6months
thats crazy
another doc has requested a test-it mite be a tia(mild stroke)
shes only 32
i have got over the initial scare i got when i heard
and saw her with slurred speech and she was stammering
thank goodness the cat scan and brain scan came out positive
i just wish she gets better quick
its not nice knowing she may have had a mild stroke
its also not nice watching her learn to chew with her left jaw
her nerves are not working
D-wish ur nerves would just up and start to work TODAY
love u gal
someone said na spiritual attack from her office
she has a political appointment-this new BRF regime
whatever it is,i dont belive these things
HE is able to restore your health
and i am trusting HIM
I wish u all in blogsville a very merry xmas
and a prosperous new year
was good but oddos
but its all good
my cousin has a facial palsy
all started after a horrible flight on chanchangi-to abuja and irs-to lagos
she fanned herself from abuja to lagos in the irs plane
she got an earache
got home-slept
woke up with a numb face(left side)
by eveninig she was in hospital
had a cat scan, brain scan all sorts of tests
well shes home now
she has stopped stammering
but only the right side of her face is moving
she gets physiotherapy daily
she wants to go to the states
she doesnt think she is getting the best treatment
doc at saint nicholas said she may have the palsy for 6months
thats crazy
another doc has requested a test-it mite be a tia(mild stroke)
shes only 32
i have got over the initial scare i got when i heard
and saw her with slurred speech and she was stammering
thank goodness the cat scan and brain scan came out positive
i just wish she gets better quick
its not nice knowing she may have had a mild stroke
its also not nice watching her learn to chew with her left jaw
her nerves are not working
D-wish ur nerves would just up and start to work TODAY
love u gal
someone said na spiritual attack from her office
she has a political appointment-this new BRF regime
whatever it is,i dont belive these things
HE is able to restore your health
and i am trusting HIM
I wish u all in blogsville a very merry xmas
and a prosperous new year
Monday, December 10, 2007
Mber months
My boss got robbed yesterday-bag,fones,keys,cash
not sure if she got slapped but the last person
i know who got robbed also got raped so she is lucky
an evil part of me felt it serves her right
just cos i am mad at her
but hey for real
its not fair that i am gloating
it is a terrible experinence
i have never been a victim but i don hear enuff stories
peeps be careful its the yuletide-the boys r hungry
avoid traffic as much as u can and be afraid of nitetime
and before dawntime
that when they attack cars
rememeber to always leave your bags outa sight in your cars
and above all
NEVER underestimate the power of prayer
He keeps u safe if u remember to ask for His cover
ciao
not sure if she got slapped but the last person
i know who got robbed also got raped so she is lucky
an evil part of me felt it serves her right
just cos i am mad at her
but hey for real
its not fair that i am gloating
it is a terrible experinence
i have never been a victim but i don hear enuff stories
peeps be careful its the yuletide-the boys r hungry
avoid traffic as much as u can and be afraid of nitetime
and before dawntime
that when they attack cars
rememeber to always leave your bags outa sight in your cars
and above all
NEVER underestimate the power of prayer
He keeps u safe if u remember to ask for His cover
ciao
Friday, December 7, 2007
WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When i was younger and trying to increase my vocabulary
My Gramps made me read newspapers,now i read almost anything
My Mum made me listen to the news to hear how words are pronounced
I pray my kids dont get to listen to the new breed of broad casters
haba
whats going on
Radio and tv this days
they keep assaulting my ears
they pronounce crap
as for Galaxy tv and dia diction avenue-its crap(i hope its off the airwaves)
NO ONE in my opinion uses THAT much stress when pronouncing a word
as for dress sense-I dont get why a young lady will wear a suit then beads!!!!
fashionistas??? e blend????
Adaure u are a pretty girl,lovely voice and u do the job well
but please try and be a little daring.....
CHANGE UR HAIRSTYLE
everytime i see u, u seem to have the same hairdo
different weaves-same style
i am sure u will still look phat if u try something else with ur hair
as for those pronouncing with igbotic yorubatic and all sorts of accents
spare our ears
PLEASE............
Heard about a woman who committed adultery on the same night her husband did
neither ever found out about the other but the marriage became better cos each found out what he:she would have lost
hmmmmmmmm
no go try am o
My Gramps made me read newspapers,now i read almost anything
My Mum made me listen to the news to hear how words are pronounced
I pray my kids dont get to listen to the new breed of broad casters
haba
whats going on
Radio and tv this days
they keep assaulting my ears
they pronounce crap
as for Galaxy tv and dia diction avenue-its crap(i hope its off the airwaves)
NO ONE in my opinion uses THAT much stress when pronouncing a word
as for dress sense-I dont get why a young lady will wear a suit then beads!!!!
fashionistas??? e blend????
Adaure u are a pretty girl,lovely voice and u do the job well
but please try and be a little daring.....
CHANGE UR HAIRSTYLE
everytime i see u, u seem to have the same hairdo
different weaves-same style
i am sure u will still look phat if u try something else with ur hair
as for those pronouncing with igbotic yorubatic and all sorts of accents
spare our ears
PLEASE............
Heard about a woman who committed adultery on the same night her husband did
neither ever found out about the other but the marriage became better cos each found out what he:she would have lost
hmmmmmmmm
no go try am o
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Manager!!!!!!!
Enjoy this.
A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.
Are you the manager? She asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. “Actually, no, the man replies. “Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,” she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. “I’m afraid I can’t,” breaths the bartender. Is there anything I can do?”
“Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message,” she continues, slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
“What should I tell him?” the bartender manages to say. Tell him, she whispers, there is no toilet roll or hand soap in the ladies room”.
A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.
Are you the manager? She asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. “Actually, no, the man replies. “Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,” she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. “I’m afraid I can’t,” breaths the bartender. Is there anything I can do?”
“Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message,” she continues, slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
“What should I tell him?” the bartender manages to say. Tell him, she whispers, there is no toilet roll or hand soap in the ladies room”.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Forbidden
sheck out
www.lovinglinks .com
www.illicitencounters.com
one of the women was quoted to say
i call my affair my indulgence
i never want to sit in a rocking chair
in a retirement home mulling over the thrills i have missed in life
it is better to regret the things you have done than the things you havent done
women get an endorphin boost during daytime
A woman's sex drive reaches its peak at 3pm(really?????)
so women are more amorous during the day
(wish we could get sex breaks instead of lunch breaks)*wink*
saw someone at obalende selling candles biscuits and butter
what is the relation???
ok maybe butter and biscuits...but candles!!!!!!
www.lovinglinks .com
www.illicitencounters.com
one of the women was quoted to say
i call my affair my indulgence
i never want to sit in a rocking chair
in a retirement home mulling over the thrills i have missed in life
it is better to regret the things you have done than the things you havent done
women get an endorphin boost during daytime
A woman's sex drive reaches its peak at 3pm(really?????)
so women are more amorous during the day
(wish we could get sex breaks instead of lunch breaks)*wink*
saw someone at obalende selling candles biscuits and butter
what is the relation???
ok maybe butter and biscuits...but candles!!!!!!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Gramps
My Gramps has been ill a while
all started about 5years ago
he had an issue with his prostate
he had an op
he recuperated, got better
2yrs later a relapse-anoda op
all these while he got older
about 2 yrs ago-his response to questions
took foreever before they came out of his mouth
he stopped recognising people
short memory span
all the signs of old age
all i could rememeber everytime i went to vist
was sitting on his lap for a kiss on my way to boarding school
treats from him when he returned from shareholders meetings
his car horn and the way we would hurridely rearrange the home
bring out our books-before he came up the stairs
even if my gramps saw u reading a comic at 2am
he was sure to leave u be
but if he finds u in front of the tv at 9pm!!!!!TROUBLE4U....
sallah with cousins,family...full house
getting my Uncle into trouble just for the fun of it.....
2 yrs ago he goes on and on about visiting home
so his kids and a few grandkids left lagos for abeokuta for a day visit
we had no tv-just the basics
food water mattresses
but we had fun
he woke up the next day and sad he wanted to return to lagos
though he showed a few of us where he wanted to spend eternity
2 weeks ago i heard he could no longer speak and wasnt eating
in fact he was living on drips
heard he had about 40 before he gave up the fight
he died 940am 16th Nov 2007 at 84yrs
i loved him and i will miss him dearly
I am just glad he has gone to rest in HIS BOSOM
Adieu Gramps
May Allah grant u paradise
all started about 5years ago
he had an issue with his prostate
he had an op
he recuperated, got better
2yrs later a relapse-anoda op
all these while he got older
about 2 yrs ago-his response to questions
took foreever before they came out of his mouth
he stopped recognising people
short memory span
all the signs of old age
all i could rememeber everytime i went to vist
was sitting on his lap for a kiss on my way to boarding school
treats from him when he returned from shareholders meetings
his car horn and the way we would hurridely rearrange the home
bring out our books-before he came up the stairs
even if my gramps saw u reading a comic at 2am
he was sure to leave u be
but if he finds u in front of the tv at 9pm!!!!!TROUBLE4U....
sallah with cousins,family...full house
getting my Uncle into trouble just for the fun of it.....
2 yrs ago he goes on and on about visiting home
so his kids and a few grandkids left lagos for abeokuta for a day visit
we had no tv-just the basics
food water mattresses
but we had fun
he woke up the next day and sad he wanted to return to lagos
though he showed a few of us where he wanted to spend eternity
2 weeks ago i heard he could no longer speak and wasnt eating
in fact he was living on drips
heard he had about 40 before he gave up the fight
he died 940am 16th Nov 2007 at 84yrs
i loved him and i will miss him dearly
I am just glad he has gone to rest in HIS BOSOM
Adieu Gramps
May Allah grant u paradise
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Thots and Joke
What does a girl want?
What do u term as success?
Success for me is fulfillment
much as i know i dont need a man to complete me
i really wont feel utter fulfilment till i discard my Father's name
and bear another..........
moreover all i long for is to be a good wife and mother
that will be success to me and give me fulfillment
someone just sat beside me ad he is overwhelmingly choking me
odd thing is he isnt holding the stick
he must have put it out before coming into the cafe
but GADDDDDD the fumes emanating from him
reminds me when i was about 5-9 anytyme anyone smoked around me i used to puke
and if u had to refuel a car and i was in the vehicle
i would puke
in trains,buses,planes-i was known to puke the whole journey
never discovered if i would b seasick........
but considering...
if i took a cruise then,wouldnt i puke?
anyways that was when i was younger....
now...any form of travel(havent tried sea though)
i am sure not to puke
Ibi stop digressing
success.....
I think we should stop agonising about
what people term as success and understand that
Success is What God wills for our life
So today i say
Lord i will let Your will for my life take centerfold
NOTHING ELSE EVEN COMPARES
cos most times we are harrasing Him
about this issue or another and we forget the little things
i was in class today and was lost for about 5mins
a pal tapped me and asked what i was doing
i said thinking
he goes...Y
He has plans for u
y bother about the things He seemingly hasnt done
but be grateful for what he has done......
so i say
Thank u Lord
for eyes that see
ears that hear
legs that walk
hands that carry
a luscious voice
a lovely personality
a job(not there yet so i wont say good)*wink*
brothers that love me to death
a mom who would give her eye for me
a faher who is learning to be a dad
friends that care
good health
lovely skin(even wit my pimples)i LOOK GOOD
nice hair
lovely dentition(i get gap sef)
the love of family
shelter
buses(no car yet)
i say THANK U for ALL u have done BABA LOKE
I just ask...the remaining i wish for nko?
Do it for me ASAP
THANK YOU
AMEN............
Mandela was enjoying a hearty breakfast - bacon, eggs, coffee, croissants, toast, butter, jam, etc. when Bush (chewing gum) sits next to him and starts a conversation:
Bush: "You South Africans eat the whole bread?"
Mandela: "Of course."
Bush: (blowing bubbles with his gum) "We don"t. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle, rebake them into croissants and sell them to South Africa ."
Mandela: "Oh Really?"
Bush: "D'ya eat jam with the bread?"
Mandela : "Of course."
Bush: (chuckling and crackling his gum) "We don't, in the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, put all the peels, seeds and left overs into containers, recycle them into jam and sell it to South Africa ."
Mandela: "Do you have sex in America ?"
Bush: "Of course we do."
Mandela: "And what do you do with the condoms?"
Bush: "Throw them away of course."
Mandela: "We don't. We pack them into containers, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to America ."
What do u term as success?
Success for me is fulfillment
much as i know i dont need a man to complete me
i really wont feel utter fulfilment till i discard my Father's name
and bear another..........
moreover all i long for is to be a good wife and mother
that will be success to me and give me fulfillment
someone just sat beside me ad he is overwhelmingly choking me
odd thing is he isnt holding the stick
he must have put it out before coming into the cafe
but GADDDDDD the fumes emanating from him
reminds me when i was about 5-9 anytyme anyone smoked around me i used to puke
and if u had to refuel a car and i was in the vehicle
i would puke
in trains,buses,planes-i was known to puke the whole journey
never discovered if i would b seasick........
but considering...
if i took a cruise then,wouldnt i puke?
anyways that was when i was younger....
now...any form of travel(havent tried sea though)
i am sure not to puke
Ibi stop digressing
success.....
I think we should stop agonising about
what people term as success and understand that
Success is What God wills for our life
So today i say
Lord i will let Your will for my life take centerfold
NOTHING ELSE EVEN COMPARES
cos most times we are harrasing Him
about this issue or another and we forget the little things
i was in class today and was lost for about 5mins
a pal tapped me and asked what i was doing
i said thinking
he goes...Y
He has plans for u
y bother about the things He seemingly hasnt done
but be grateful for what he has done......
so i say
Thank u Lord
for eyes that see
ears that hear
legs that walk
hands that carry
a luscious voice
a lovely personality
a job(not there yet so i wont say good)*wink*
brothers that love me to death
a mom who would give her eye for me
a faher who is learning to be a dad
friends that care
good health
lovely skin(even wit my pimples)i LOOK GOOD
nice hair
lovely dentition(i get gap sef)
the love of family
shelter
buses(no car yet)
i say THANK U for ALL u have done BABA LOKE
I just ask...the remaining i wish for nko?
Do it for me ASAP
THANK YOU
AMEN............
Mandela was enjoying a hearty breakfast - bacon, eggs, coffee, croissants, toast, butter, jam, etc. when Bush (chewing gum) sits next to him and starts a conversation:
Bush: "You South Africans eat the whole bread?"
Mandela: "Of course."
Bush: (blowing bubbles with his gum) "We don"t. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle, rebake them into croissants and sell them to South Africa ."
Mandela: "Oh Really?"
Bush: "D'ya eat jam with the bread?"
Mandela : "Of course."
Bush: (chuckling and crackling his gum) "We don't, in the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, put all the peels, seeds and left overs into containers, recycle them into jam and sell it to South Africa ."
Mandela: "Do you have sex in America ?"
Bush: "Of course we do."
Mandela: "And what do you do with the condoms?"
Bush: "Throw them away of course."
Mandela: "We don't. We pack them into containers, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to America ."
Friday, November 9, 2007
Hmmmmmmmmmmm
The vertical smile
Scrambled eggs between the legs
sunny side up on the way to the butt
the pink taco
lower whiskers
all of the above where culled from a movie
and they all describe the vagina...hmmmmmmm
i found it hilarious.....
A man always looks more formal when he is erect.
True?
Anyone crave lovely inner garments?lingerie?
check out Etc-Ikoyi mall shop 9 lagos
opposite federal sec ikoyi
nice stuff
size a-g
for the men-cufflinks,ties,boxers,socks
candy g-strings
edible cock rings
*wink*
Scrambled eggs between the legs
sunny side up on the way to the butt
the pink taco
lower whiskers
all of the above where culled from a movie
and they all describe the vagina...hmmmmmmm
i found it hilarious.....
A man always looks more formal when he is erect.
True?
Anyone crave lovely inner garments?lingerie?
check out Etc-Ikoyi mall shop 9 lagos
opposite federal sec ikoyi
nice stuff
size a-g
for the men-cufflinks,ties,boxers,socks
candy g-strings
edible cock rings
*wink*
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
ASS
A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
> The pastor was so
> pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the
> race again, and it
> won ................again.
>
> The local paper read: "PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT"
>
> The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity
> that he ordered the pastor not to enter
the donkey in another race.
>
> The next day, the local paper headline read:
> "BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS".
>
> This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the
> pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a
> nun in a nearby convent.
>
> The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the
> following headline the
> next day: "NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN"
>
> The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she
> would have to get rid
> of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
>
> The next day the paper read:
"NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10"
>
> This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the
> nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to
the plains where it could run wild.
>
> The next day the headlines read:
"NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE"
>
> The bishop was buried the next day.
>
> The moral of the story is....being concerned about
> public opinion can
> bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten
> your life. So be yourself
> and enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone
> else's ass and you'll be a
> lot happier and live longer!
>
>
> The pastor was so
> pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the
> race again, and it
> won ................again.
>
> The local paper read: "PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT"
>
> The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity
> that he ordered the pastor not to enter
the donkey in another race.
>
> The next day, the local paper headline read:
> "BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS".
>
> This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the
> pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a
> nun in a nearby convent.
>
> The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the
> following headline the
> next day: "NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN"
>
> The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she
> would have to get rid
> of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
>
> The next day the paper read:
"NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10"
>
> This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the
> nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to
the plains where it could run wild.
>
> The next day the headlines read:
"NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE"
>
> The bishop was buried the next day.
>
> The moral of the story is....being concerned about
> public opinion can
> bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten
> your life. So be yourself
> and enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone
> else's ass and you'll be a
> lot happier and live longer!
>
>
Saturday, November 3, 2007
More Jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bible Lesson
> A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph
> and Mary took Jesus
> with them to Jerusalem.
> A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby
> sitter."
>
> The Ten Commandments
> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
> Commandments with her five
> and six year olds. After explaining the commandment
> to "honor thy father
> and thy mother," she asked,"Is there a commandment
> that teaches us how to
> treat our brothers and sisters?"
> Without missing a beat one little boy answered,
> "Thou shall not kill."
Funeral Instructions
> An elderly woman died last month. Having never
> married, she requested no
> male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions
> for her memorial
> service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while
> I was alive, I don't
> want them to take me out when I'm dead."
>
> Church Announcement
> There is the story of a preacher who got up one
> Sunday and announced to
> his congregation: "I have good news and bad news.
> The good news is, we
> have enough money to pay for our new building
> program. The bad news is,
> it's still out there in your pockets."
The Sermon
> A little girl became restless as the preacher's
> sermon dragged on and on.
> Finally, she leaned over to her mother and
> whispered, "Mommy, if we give
> him the money now, will he let us go?"
>
> The Boasting Boys
> Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about
> their fathers. The first
> boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece
> of paper, he calls it a
> poem, they give him $50."
> The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad
> scribbles a few words on a
> piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him
> $100."
> The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad
> scribbles a few words on
> a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes
> eight people to
> collect all the money!"
> A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph
> and Mary took Jesus
> with them to Jerusalem.
> A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby
> sitter."
>
> The Ten Commandments
> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
> Commandments with her five
> and six year olds. After explaining the commandment
> to "honor thy father
> and thy mother," she asked,"Is there a commandment
> that teaches us how to
> treat our brothers and sisters?"
> Without missing a beat one little boy answered,
> "Thou shall not kill."
Funeral Instructions
> An elderly woman died last month. Having never
> married, she requested no
> male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions
> for her memorial
> service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while
> I was alive, I don't
> want them to take me out when I'm dead."
>
> Church Announcement
> There is the story of a preacher who got up one
> Sunday and announced to
> his congregation: "I have good news and bad news.
> The good news is, we
> have enough money to pay for our new building
> program. The bad news is,
> it's still out there in your pockets."
The Sermon
> A little girl became restless as the preacher's
> sermon dragged on and on.
> Finally, she leaned over to her mother and
> whispered, "Mommy, if we give
> him the money now, will he let us go?"
>
> The Boasting Boys
> Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about
> their fathers. The first
> boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece
> of paper, he calls it a
> poem, they give him $50."
> The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad
> scribbles a few words on a
> piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him
> $100."
> The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad
> scribbles a few words on
> a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes
> eight people to
> collect all the money!"
Monday, October 29, 2007
Professional Toasting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi Girl,
I am very happy to inform you that I have feelings for
you since Tuesday, the 17th of August.
With reference to the meeting held between us on the
17th of August at 1500 hours, I would like to present
myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would
be on probation for a period of three months and
depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.
Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be
continuous on-the-relationship training and
relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion
from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment
would initially be shared equally between us. Later,
based on your performance, I might take up a larger
share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded
enough, to be taking care of on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of
receiving this letter, failing which; this offer would
be canceled without further notice and shall be
considering someone else. I would be happy, if you
could forward this letter to your sister, if you do
not wish to take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely
THE MAN
TOP TEN PICK UP LINES!!!!!!!!!!!
10- Could I touch your belly button... from the inside?
9- If you were a burger at McDonald's, I'd call you McBeautiful.
8- Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
7- My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
6- How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
5- You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
4- Your tag says Made in USA, but I could have sworn you were made in heaven.
3- I hope you have a library card because I'm checking you out.
2- Excuse me, do you have a Band-Aid because I scraped my knee when I fell for you.
1- I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?
I am very happy to inform you that I have feelings for
you since Tuesday, the 17th of August.
With reference to the meeting held between us on the
17th of August at 1500 hours, I would like to present
myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would
be on probation for a period of three months and
depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.
Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be
continuous on-the-relationship training and
relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion
from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment
would initially be shared equally between us. Later,
based on your performance, I might take up a larger
share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded
enough, to be taking care of on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of
receiving this letter, failing which; this offer would
be canceled without further notice and shall be
considering someone else. I would be happy, if you
could forward this letter to your sister, if you do
not wish to take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely
THE MAN
TOP TEN PICK UP LINES!!!!!!!!!!!
10- Could I touch your belly button... from the inside?
9- If you were a burger at McDonald's, I'd call you McBeautiful.
8- Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
7- My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
6- How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
5- You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
4- Your tag says Made in USA, but I could have sworn you were made in heaven.
3- I hope you have a library card because I'm checking you out.
2- Excuse me, do you have a Band-Aid because I scraped my knee when I fell for you.
1- I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Selfish
So my cousin-B got married over the weekend
I am older than her by 4 days
So EVERYONE kept asking,wondering,speculating.......
when my turn will come
my turn?I have no idea
i just know it will happen
i also know i will be a good wife and mother
and then be less selfish
K says i am(anoda female cousin)
so i told her-K
'single people tend to be selfish'
(i heard it somewhere)
anyways i cant bother being nice to anyone other than family
the most important person to me
is me.....for now....*wink*
I am older than her by 4 days
So EVERYONE kept asking,wondering,speculating.......
when my turn will come
my turn?I have no idea
i just know it will happen
i also know i will be a good wife and mother
and then be less selfish
K says i am(anoda female cousin)
so i told her-K
'single people tend to be selfish'
(i heard it somewhere)
anyways i cant bother being nice to anyone other than family
the most important person to me
is me.....for now....*wink*
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Virginity
My cousin says virginity is not virtue
It is the absence of opportunity
True?
a pal of mine just caught the blogging bug,
i think he is cool
doubleo-doubleo
It is the absence of opportunity
True?
a pal of mine just caught the blogging bug,
i think he is cool
doubleo-doubleo
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Na wa oooo
Someone i know is in uk-illegally
u know when u are in a foreign land
without a green card hence u must not have a skirmish with the authourities???
well he dey dia with hin fiancee
both of them searching for the golden fleece in uk
hoping to 'hammer' someday and come back home to a grand wedding
well his ex goes to uk on a visit
and he decides to visit her
told a fib to fiancee and heads out
got on the wrong bus with a wrong ticket and conductor nab am
was to pay a fine of 20pounds but he no get for pocket
na so conductor call olopa(police)
na so omo boy begin see naija o
he cried..... serious ooo...he cry
but common sense prevailed thru the tears and he called his ex
she rushes out to go save him
pays the fine and explains to olopa the mix-up
well na so he for find himself for naija
cos he wan go tap that ass.............
not to mention infidelity
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
u know when u are in a foreign land
without a green card hence u must not have a skirmish with the authourities???
well he dey dia with hin fiancee
both of them searching for the golden fleece in uk
hoping to 'hammer' someday and come back home to a grand wedding
well his ex goes to uk on a visit
and he decides to visit her
told a fib to fiancee and heads out
got on the wrong bus with a wrong ticket and conductor nab am
was to pay a fine of 20pounds but he no get for pocket
na so conductor call olopa(police)
na so omo boy begin see naija o
he cried..... serious ooo...he cry
but common sense prevailed thru the tears and he called his ex
she rushes out to go save him
pays the fine and explains to olopa the mix-up
well na so he for find himself for naija
cos he wan go tap that ass.............
not to mention infidelity
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Monday, October 22, 2007
Purpose!!!!!!!!!
What is your purpose in life?
When i was younger........my purpose was to be a good mother and wife
I lost that focus years back
My focus now is to laze around but not know poverty
*wink*
But really,to what purpose are we in the world for?
Do u know yours?
When i was younger........my purpose was to be a good mother and wife
I lost that focus years back
My focus now is to laze around but not know poverty
*wink*
But really,to what purpose are we in the world for?
Do u know yours?
Friday, October 19, 2007
Dating mishaps
A friend of mine says the fumes she inhaled
after her home was fumigated must be affecting her
She hasnt gotten any date since then
I think this is her being funny
Or.....guys?will a lady put u off a la if she asphyxiates you?
LOL
have a swell weekend u all..........
after her home was fumigated must be affecting her
She hasnt gotten any date since then
I think this is her being funny
Or.....guys?will a lady put u off a la if she asphyxiates you?
LOL
have a swell weekend u all..........
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Men play at love to get sex?
Women play at sex to get love
Rings true to me
any contrary opinion?
Women play at sex to get love
Rings true to me
any contrary opinion?
Friday, October 12, 2007
Stolen from teediva
Recently discovered teediva’s blog
went thru her blog
got hooked and found this
decided to try it
1.WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? Jeans, top and platforms
2. WHAT KINDA UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING? Sexy black bra and g-string
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Aroma-Olu maintain & Pasuma
4. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Nah
5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Yam porridge
6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? black.
7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Cool-its early yet
8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Mi brother
9. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? His command of the English language
10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? no one sent it to me, saw it on teediva’s blog...
11. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? yea
12. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? content
13. FAVOURITE DRINK? pineapple juice
14. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Baileys on ice
15. FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAL? Jollof rice & plaintain
16.FAVOURITE SPORTS? Football (to watch), volleyball (to act like i can play-but i made my nysc platoon proud in 2004 when i finished an opposing platoon)
17.HAIR COLOUR? Almost black
18. EYE COLOUR? Brown
20.TATTOOS OR PIERCING? Tattoos-not yet/piercings-ears only
21.STAR SIGN? Libra
22. FAVOURITE MONTH? Oct? cos i was born in Oct
24.FAVOURITE FOOD? Amala ,ewedu and fish-yummy
25.LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Erin Brockovich.
27. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Any day i make extra cheddars!!!!!
28. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? Nah-if i am interested and he is too slow/shy to ask-i will ask him.
29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS BETTER? Scary-cynical about love at the moment
30.SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer
31. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs-almost anyone, kisses-only to get my freak on....*wink*?
32. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships plssssssssss.
33.CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? chocolate
34. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? ???
35. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Have no idea
36. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Beats me!!!!!!!!!!!
37. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING NOW?
38. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I am mouse-pad less!!!!!!!
39.FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? Scrabble
40. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Watched movies
41. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? anoda day to be grateful for.
42. WHICH DO YOU BELIEVE, EVOLUTION OR CREATION? Creation........ no be God?????
ANODA STOLEN FROM HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1.How old were you the first time? 19-he thot i was 21
2.)Name of your first? T
3.) Good or Bad? definitely not a bed of roses
4.) Name of the worst and why? J-guy thot pumping was all that mattered-slam, bam....never again!!!!!!!!!
5.) Name of the best and why? L-t’was always mind blowing, i had crazy love for the guy-he just knew what to do to get mi juices flowing!
6.) Weirdest place you ever had sex? on the roof.
7.) Favorite Position: as long as i am getting pleasured-makes no difference
8.) Ever fake an orgasm? No-u either give me one or u dont
9.) Would you admit it if the person asked? Yes, I have/would
10.) Favorite time of day to have sex? Early morn just b4 dawn.
11.) Most times you have had sex in one day? Wasnt counting
12.) Same person? Hell yea.
13.) Ever fantasize about someone other than the one you’re with? Nah
14.) Restrictions during sex? none
15.)Accessories?None yet
16.)What? Yea........
17.) Done it in the rain? Does drizzling count?
18.)Done it in a car? Yea
19.) Had a Threesome? Wont ever happen
20.) Want to have sex now? Mayb later........
went thru her blog
got hooked and found this
decided to try it
1.WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? Jeans, top and platforms
2. WHAT KINDA UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING? Sexy black bra and g-string
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Aroma-Olu maintain & Pasuma
4. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Nah
5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Yam porridge
6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? black.
7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Cool-its early yet
8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Mi brother
9. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? His command of the English language
10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? no one sent it to me, saw it on teediva’s blog...
11. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? yea
12. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? content
13. FAVOURITE DRINK? pineapple juice
14. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Baileys on ice
15. FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAL? Jollof rice & plaintain
16.FAVOURITE SPORTS? Football (to watch), volleyball (to act like i can play-but i made my nysc platoon proud in 2004 when i finished an opposing platoon)
17.HAIR COLOUR? Almost black
18. EYE COLOUR? Brown
20.TATTOOS OR PIERCING? Tattoos-not yet/piercings-ears only
21.STAR SIGN? Libra
22. FAVOURITE MONTH? Oct? cos i was born in Oct
24.FAVOURITE FOOD? Amala ,ewedu and fish-yummy
25.LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Erin Brockovich.
27. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Any day i make extra cheddars!!!!!
28. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? Nah-if i am interested and he is too slow/shy to ask-i will ask him.
29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS BETTER? Scary-cynical about love at the moment
30.SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer
31. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs-almost anyone, kisses-only to get my freak on....*wink*?
32. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships plssssssssss.
33.CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? chocolate
34. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? ???
35. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Have no idea
36. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Beats me!!!!!!!!!!!
37. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING NOW?
38. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I am mouse-pad less!!!!!!!
39.FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? Scrabble
40. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Watched movies
41. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? anoda day to be grateful for.
42. WHICH DO YOU BELIEVE, EVOLUTION OR CREATION? Creation........ no be God?????
ANODA STOLEN FROM HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1.How old were you the first time? 19-he thot i was 21
2.)Name of your first? T
3.) Good or Bad? definitely not a bed of roses
4.) Name of the worst and why? J-guy thot pumping was all that mattered-slam, bam....never again!!!!!!!!!
5.) Name of the best and why? L-t’was always mind blowing, i had crazy love for the guy-he just knew what to do to get mi juices flowing!
6.) Weirdest place you ever had sex? on the roof.
7.) Favorite Position: as long as i am getting pleasured-makes no difference
8.) Ever fake an orgasm? No-u either give me one or u dont
9.) Would you admit it if the person asked? Yes, I have/would
10.) Favorite time of day to have sex? Early morn just b4 dawn.
11.) Most times you have had sex in one day? Wasnt counting
12.) Same person? Hell yea.
13.) Ever fantasize about someone other than the one you’re with? Nah
14.) Restrictions during sex? none
15.)Accessories?None yet
16.)What? Yea........
17.) Done it in the rain? Does drizzling count?
18.)Done it in a car? Yea
19.) Had a Threesome? Wont ever happen
20.) Want to have sex now? Mayb later........
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Happy Birthday Ibi
Yipee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am 29-today
in the last 5 years,my birthday was melacholic
(my making)
cos i didnt achieve the goals i set for myself
but i have been/am grateful cos I am able to say
THANK YOU to Him for another yr
for good health
eyes that see though myopic
legs that walk
arms that carry
a nose that can smell a lot that isnt its biz(anoda blog)
a mouth that houses a luscious smile
a voice fit for radio if not a career as a singer
a lovely personality
confidante to many
This yr I have done away with the melancholy
Its my last yr as a 20yr old
things can only get better in my 30's
I am glad to be alive/happier than i have been in a while
grateful for those who love me genuinely(and i love back)
wary of those who love me in bits/from far
sure of the fact,the man whose rib i have in me will find me soon
(he is the one whose searching-for his missing rib)*wink*
aware i will get a windfall of money-job?lottery?
who cares-as long as it cures this fear of poverty
so i am just chilling
and i will have a fun filled sunday with family/friends
though no one can feast till evening (ramadan)
but for u all who wanna groove
there will be a shindig next yr
its the 3-0
have a splendid day/week u all
MWAH
I am 29-today
in the last 5 years,my birthday was melacholic
(my making)
cos i didnt achieve the goals i set for myself
but i have been/am grateful cos I am able to say
THANK YOU to Him for another yr
for good health
eyes that see though myopic
legs that walk
arms that carry
a nose that can smell a lot that isnt its biz(anoda blog)
a mouth that houses a luscious smile
a voice fit for radio if not a career as a singer
a lovely personality
confidante to many
This yr I have done away with the melancholy
Its my last yr as a 20yr old
things can only get better in my 30's
I am glad to be alive/happier than i have been in a while
grateful for those who love me genuinely(and i love back)
wary of those who love me in bits/from far
sure of the fact,the man whose rib i have in me will find me soon
(he is the one whose searching-for his missing rib)*wink*
aware i will get a windfall of money-job?lottery?
who cares-as long as it cures this fear of poverty
so i am just chilling
and i will have a fun filled sunday with family/friends
though no one can feast till evening (ramadan)
but for u all who wanna groove
there will be a shindig next yr
its the 3-0
have a splendid day/week u all
MWAH
Friday, October 5, 2007
Safety?
Heard 2face was shot.....
he is in hospital..........
wont the robbers stop?
he was robbed 2yrs ago
and he had to use the neck brace.....
get well soon
he is in hospital..........
wont the robbers stop?
he was robbed 2yrs ago
and he had to use the neck brace.....
get well soon
Thursday, October 4, 2007
marathon runner
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. On one wet and lusty day, she was in bed with her lover when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.
"Oh my God - hurry! Grab your clothes," she yelled to him. "Jump out the window. My husband's home early!"
"I can't jump out the window, it's raining out there!" came the reply from beneath the sheets.
"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. "He's got a very quick temper and a very large gun! The rain is the least of your problems."
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window. As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon. So he started running alongside the others about -- 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to "blend in" as best he could. It wasn't that effective! After a little while, a small group of runners, who had been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.
"Oh yes," he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free having the air blow over all your skin while you're running."
Another runner moved alongside. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?"
"Oh, yes," he answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!"
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"
"Only if it's raining."
"Oh my God - hurry! Grab your clothes," she yelled to him. "Jump out the window. My husband's home early!"
"I can't jump out the window, it's raining out there!" came the reply from beneath the sheets.
"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. "He's got a very quick temper and a very large gun! The rain is the least of your problems."
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window. As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon. So he started running alongside the others about -- 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to "blend in" as best he could. It wasn't that effective! After a little while, a small group of runners, who had been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.
"Oh yes," he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free having the air blow over all your skin while you're running."
Another runner moved alongside. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?"
"Oh, yes," he answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!"
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"
"Only if it's raining."
Friday, September 28, 2007
Artists
Is it true?
that it is nice to date artistic people?
my ex is a graphic atrist and truth be told
he did see beauty in everything..............
someone said to me recently
she has always wanted to meet a painter
because of their ability to see beauty in everything
then capture it and leave it for all to see
(ok,i am a fraud--got it from a movie,Cherry Crush)
another graphic artist friend who whilst
working in an advertising agency
once told me i lie for a living so i guess i am a good liar
but he did also see beauty in everything
so it has occurred to me
artists see beauty in everything
any contrary opinion?
that it is nice to date artistic people?
my ex is a graphic atrist and truth be told
he did see beauty in everything..............
someone said to me recently
she has always wanted to meet a painter
because of their ability to see beauty in everything
then capture it and leave it for all to see
(ok,i am a fraud--got it from a movie,Cherry Crush)
another graphic artist friend who whilst
working in an advertising agency
once told me i lie for a living so i guess i am a good liar
but he did also see beauty in everything
so it has occurred to me
artists see beauty in everything
any contrary opinion?
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Random
The fire that is put in a child's palm by his father will not hurt him
A man who wants to lead other men will see spirits on his way
A man who wants to swallow an ugala seed must first consider the size of his anus
No father sends his child to the market to buy salt then invokes rain on him
Lets find a black goat before it becomes dark
When an animal feels an itch on its back,it scratches on a tree
but a man calls his fellow man
(proverbs from ultimate warriors-naija movie)
yea-i watched it and even wrote down the proverbs
U have no business marrying someone with emotional,
psychological,physical features u cant work with
then expect him or her to change
Just 1 cigarette narrows the artery,raises the blood pressure and puts an extra strain on the heart for 1hr30mins-do smokers know this?
saw the movie
escape from sobibor
again a few days ago
i am just glad
i wasnt part of all that inhumanity
A man who wants to lead other men will see spirits on his way
A man who wants to swallow an ugala seed must first consider the size of his anus
No father sends his child to the market to buy salt then invokes rain on him
Lets find a black goat before it becomes dark
When an animal feels an itch on its back,it scratches on a tree
but a man calls his fellow man
(proverbs from ultimate warriors-naija movie)
yea-i watched it and even wrote down the proverbs
U have no business marrying someone with emotional,
psychological,physical features u cant work with
then expect him or her to change
Just 1 cigarette narrows the artery,raises the blood pressure and puts an extra strain on the heart for 1hr30mins-do smokers know this?
saw the movie
escape from sobibor
again a few days ago
i am just glad
i wasnt part of all that inhumanity
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
MAD????
How mad do you get?
I once heard of a man who burst a vein in his eye
cos he got sooooooooo mad at his wife
i wonder what she did?
*wink*
but really how mad is mad?
mad enuff to hit?
mad enuff to kill?
mad enuff to maim?
mad enuff to hurt?
madf enuff to insult?
i learnt a long time ago to control my anger
then i developed the art of delivering missles in mails,texts,calls
so i am not tempted to hit,maim,kill,hurt
(was never allowed to perfect the act of maiming with my younger ones)
i never learnt the art of fighting either
i am as the french will say
Je suis mince
i dont have a large frame
so i refuse to allow anyone annoy me to a lava producing stage
(as i no fit fight)
*wink*
to this day it baffles me
why did i not join the world of karate and judo in uni?
my roommate had a brown belt in judo
ironically,some people just know exactly what to do/say
to turn you into a human volcano
i actually feel my blood boil at such instances......
its sooooooo easy to fly into a rage and hurl insults at a person
that gets me that mad
fortunately or unfortunately
i ONLY say the word sorry to people.....
who are ill,bereaved,have lost something.........
hardly ever to anyone who got the end of my tongue
cos when i do it(hurl it)
either to ur face or via whatever medium......
I USUALLY MEAN IT
so those who see me keeping mute..................
"the gentility of a cat is not an act of cowardice"
I once heard of a man who burst a vein in his eye
cos he got sooooooooo mad at his wife
i wonder what she did?
*wink*
but really how mad is mad?
mad enuff to hit?
mad enuff to kill?
mad enuff to maim?
mad enuff to hurt?
madf enuff to insult?
i learnt a long time ago to control my anger
then i developed the art of delivering missles in mails,texts,calls
so i am not tempted to hit,maim,kill,hurt
(was never allowed to perfect the act of maiming with my younger ones)
i never learnt the art of fighting either
i am as the french will say
Je suis mince
i dont have a large frame
so i refuse to allow anyone annoy me to a lava producing stage
(as i no fit fight)
*wink*
to this day it baffles me
why did i not join the world of karate and judo in uni?
my roommate had a brown belt in judo
ironically,some people just know exactly what to do/say
to turn you into a human volcano
i actually feel my blood boil at such instances......
its sooooooo easy to fly into a rage and hurl insults at a person
that gets me that mad
fortunately or unfortunately
i ONLY say the word sorry to people.....
who are ill,bereaved,have lost something.........
hardly ever to anyone who got the end of my tongue
cos when i do it(hurl it)
either to ur face or via whatever medium......
I USUALLY MEAN IT
so those who see me keeping mute..................
"the gentility of a cat is not an act of cowardice"
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Long meme stolen from Manda
FOODOLOGY
Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Salad Cream on Coleslaw
Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Chicken Republic
Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Mama Cass
Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. Tips?moving on.....
Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A. Amala and ewedu,does icecream count?
Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. moving on.............
Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A. Butter Jam and Eggs
Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. anything from Wrigley's
TECHNOLOGY
Q. Number of contacts in your cell phone?
A. About 500
Q. Number of contacts in your email address book?
A. About 527
Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. Halle Berry's pic!
Q. How many televisions are in your house or apartment?
A. 2
BIOLOGY
Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. Right
Q. Do you like your smile?
A. Yes
Q. What's your best feature?
A. My eyes
Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. 2 teeth
Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Smell
Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. Been a while
Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. me?lift heavy stuff?in my next life
Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. No
CRAPOLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. no
Q. Is love for real?
A. yea
Q. If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
A. ok with it
Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Black
Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. No
Q. Have you ever saved someone's life?
A. Maybe Unknowingly
Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Possibly
DAREOLOGY
Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. no
Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. no
Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. no
Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. i would cheat and start anoda blog...*wink*
Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. no
Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
A. no
Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. no
Q: Last Friend you talked to?
A: Idi
Q: Last person you called?
A. Khairat
Q: Last person that called you?
A: Mom
Q: Person you hugged
A: K
FAVORITOLOGY
Q: Number?
A: 7
Q: Color?
A: Black
Q: Season?
A: Harmattan(Dry Season)-i'd rather be cold than hot
CURRENTOLOGY
Q: Missing someone?
A: no
Q: Mood?
A: Hungry
Q: Listening to?
A: Aye Ole-Infinity
Q: Watching?
A: Prison Break
Q: Worrying about?
A: nothing
RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
A: the loo
Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: become a millionaire
Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A: Lonely hearts
Q: Do you smile often?
A: i try
Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Yea
Q: Now that the surveys done what are you going to do?
A. Get back to reading my mails
Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: no pockets
Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: not seen it
Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: Neither
Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: sit?is the person sane?
Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: i dont like people in my space
Q: How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
A: 3
Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: 2yrs ago,was almost arrested for wandering(was chatting
in front of my flat with a male pal mind u but it was 2am
so i guess i deserved that)
Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: Rich..moreover i am grown..............
Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Salad Cream on Coleslaw
Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Chicken Republic
Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Mama Cass
Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. Tips?moving on.....
Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A. Amala and ewedu,does icecream count?
Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. moving on.............
Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A. Butter Jam and Eggs
Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. anything from Wrigley's
TECHNOLOGY
Q. Number of contacts in your cell phone?
A. About 500
Q. Number of contacts in your email address book?
A. About 527
Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. Halle Berry's pic!
Q. How many televisions are in your house or apartment?
A. 2
BIOLOGY
Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. Right
Q. Do you like your smile?
A. Yes
Q. What's your best feature?
A. My eyes
Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. 2 teeth
Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Smell
Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. Been a while
Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. me?lift heavy stuff?in my next life
Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. No
CRAPOLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. no
Q. Is love for real?
A. yea
Q. If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
A. ok with it
Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Black
Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. No
Q. Have you ever saved someone's life?
A. Maybe Unknowingly
Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Possibly
DAREOLOGY
Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. no
Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. no
Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. no
Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. i would cheat and start anoda blog...*wink*
Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. no
Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
A. no
Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. no
Q: Last Friend you talked to?
A: Idi
Q: Last person you called?
A. Khairat
Q: Last person that called you?
A: Mom
Q: Person you hugged
A: K
FAVORITOLOGY
Q: Number?
A: 7
Q: Color?
A: Black
Q: Season?
A: Harmattan(Dry Season)-i'd rather be cold than hot
CURRENTOLOGY
Q: Missing someone?
A: no
Q: Mood?
A: Hungry
Q: Listening to?
A: Aye Ole-Infinity
Q: Watching?
A: Prison Break
Q: Worrying about?
A: nothing
RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
A: the loo
Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: become a millionaire
Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A: Lonely hearts
Q: Do you smile often?
A: i try
Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Yea
Q: Now that the surveys done what are you going to do?
A. Get back to reading my mails
Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: no pockets
Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: not seen it
Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: Neither
Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: sit?is the person sane?
Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: i dont like people in my space
Q: How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
A: 3
Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: 2yrs ago,was almost arrested for wandering(was chatting
in front of my flat with a male pal mind u but it was 2am
so i guess i deserved that)
Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: Rich..moreover i am grown..............
Warning!!!!!!!!!!
Please Inform all your Female Friends !!!!!
A woman at a bar on a Saturday night was taken by 5 men, who, according to hospital and police reports, gang raped her before dumping her. Unable to remember the events of the evening, tests later confirmed the repeat rapes, along with traces of Rohypnol in her blood and Progesterex, essentially a small sterilization pill.
The drug is now being used by rapists at parties to rape AND sterilize their victims. Progesterex is available to vets to sterilize large animals. Progesterex is being used together with Rohypnol, the date rape drug.
As with Rohypnol, all they have to do is drop it into the girl's drink. The girl can't remember a thing the next morning, of all that had taken place the night before. Progesterex, which dissolves in drinks just as easily, is such that the victim doesn't get pregnant; she won't conceive from the rape and the rapist needn't worry about having a paternity test identifying him months later.
The drug's effects ARE NOT TEMPORARY - They are P*E*R*M*A*N* E*N*T!!! Progesterex was designed to sterilize horses.. Any female who takes it will NEVER BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE... The weasels can get this drug from anyone who is in the vet school or any university.
It's that easy, and Progesterex is about to break out big on campuses everywhere. Believe it or not, there are even sites on the Internet telling people how to use it.
Please forward this to everyone you know, especially girls.. Be careful when you're out and don't leave your drink unattended.
Please make the effort to forward this on to all you know... Guys, please inform all your female friends and relatives!
A woman at a bar on a Saturday night was taken by 5 men, who, according to hospital and police reports, gang raped her before dumping her. Unable to remember the events of the evening, tests later confirmed the repeat rapes, along with traces of Rohypnol in her blood and Progesterex, essentially a small sterilization pill.
The drug is now being used by rapists at parties to rape AND sterilize their victims. Progesterex is available to vets to sterilize large animals. Progesterex is being used together with Rohypnol, the date rape drug.
As with Rohypnol, all they have to do is drop it into the girl's drink. The girl can't remember a thing the next morning, of all that had taken place the night before. Progesterex, which dissolves in drinks just as easily, is such that the victim doesn't get pregnant; she won't conceive from the rape and the rapist needn't worry about having a paternity test identifying him months later.
The drug's effects ARE NOT TEMPORARY - They are P*E*R*M*A*N* E*N*T!!! Progesterex was designed to sterilize horses.. Any female who takes it will NEVER BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE... The weasels can get this drug from anyone who is in the vet school or any university.
It's that easy, and Progesterex is about to break out big on campuses everywhere. Believe it or not, there are even sites on the Internet telling people how to use it.
Please forward this to everyone you know, especially girls.. Be careful when you're out and don't leave your drink unattended.
Please make the effort to forward this on to all you know... Guys, please inform all your female friends and relatives!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
From Nyemoni
Accent: Nigerian i guess
Booze: Does half a glass of baileys with lots of ice at parties count?
Chore I Hate: Ironing
Dogs/Cats: Dogs-no!!!!!!!Cats?love them
Essential electronics: Mobile,TV,Radio,Dvd,Laptop,Fridge,Microwave,Kettle,Hair Dryer
Favourite Perfume: Simply Irresitible by Givenchy & Ck in2u by ck
Gold/Silver: Gold
Hometown: Ikereku Egba OkeOna Ogun State
Insomnia: Never!
Job title: Administration
Kids: A girl and twin boys(all I need) will start on them next year.*wink*
Living arrangements: comfy apartment
Most admired trait: I tune off when people badmouth or bore me
Number of sexual partners: good girls NEVER tell
Overnight hospital stays: several Typhoid Fever&Ulcer attacks when i was younger
Phobia: Povertyphobia
Quote: "The best amongst you is he who can control his anger" Hadith
Religion: Islam
Siblings: 2- (2 brothers)
Time I usually awake: 5:30a.m
Unusual talent: "sleeptalk"
Vegetable I refuse to eat: none comes to mind..
Worst habit: Dillydallying
X-rays: To extract a tooth at 13&18 and to get admitted to sec sch&uni
Yummy foods I make: Vegetable&Ogbono soup,Yam Porridge
Zodiac sign: Libra
Booze: Does half a glass of baileys with lots of ice at parties count?
Chore I Hate: Ironing
Dogs/Cats: Dogs-no!!!!!!!Cats?love them
Essential electronics: Mobile,TV,Radio,Dvd,Laptop,Fridge,Microwave,Kettle,Hair Dryer
Favourite Perfume: Simply Irresitible by Givenchy & Ck in2u by ck
Gold/Silver: Gold
Hometown: Ikereku Egba OkeOna Ogun State
Insomnia: Never!
Job title: Administration
Kids: A girl and twin boys(all I need) will start on them next year.*wink*
Living arrangements: comfy apartment
Most admired trait: I tune off when people badmouth or bore me
Number of sexual partners: good girls NEVER tell
Overnight hospital stays: several Typhoid Fever&Ulcer attacks when i was younger
Phobia: Povertyphobia
Quote: "The best amongst you is he who can control his anger" Hadith
Religion: Islam
Siblings: 2- (2 brothers)
Time I usually awake: 5:30a.m
Unusual talent: "sleeptalk"
Vegetable I refuse to eat: none comes to mind..
Worst habit: Dillydallying
X-rays: To extract a tooth at 13&18 and to get admitted to sec sch&uni
Yummy foods I make: Vegetable&Ogbono soup,Yam Porridge
Zodiac sign: Libra
Friday, September 7, 2007
First time..............
it was sheer bliss as he moved within her
what a wonderful part of love this is
how beautiful and special to have two bodies
joined as one
to have such powerful feelings surge through them both
to discover such love together
there's no way to fully share one's self
with another
except through lovemaking
excerpt from a novel
brings up a few questions
is it true there's no way to fully share one's self with another
except through lovemaking?
was anyone's first time
the way it is painted in novels?
mills and boon made me believe so
but in reality
no be so(it aiint that way)
abi na only me?(is it only me)
*wink*
what a wonderful part of love this is
how beautiful and special to have two bodies
joined as one
to have such powerful feelings surge through them both
to discover such love together
there's no way to fully share one's self
with another
except through lovemaking
excerpt from a novel
brings up a few questions
is it true there's no way to fully share one's self with another
except through lovemaking?
was anyone's first time
the way it is painted in novels?
mills and boon made me believe so
but in reality
no be so(it aiint that way)
abi na only me?(is it only me)
*wink*
A little of this and that
The most stupid part of a man's anatomy is his phallus
it has a head
no brain
lives in front of two nuts
and lives around the corner from an arsehole
Women want EVERTHING
Men want THREE things
food
sex
silence
as long as u can feed him
fuck him
AND keep quiet
most men would die happy
A woman knows within the first five minutes
of meeting a man especially
after a handshake
if she will sleep with a guy
the happiest people make the best of everything
they dont have the best of everything
what lies behind us and before us
is nothing compared to
what lies within us
fan it into flames
it takes a real man to fall in love
allowing someone else control his feelings
anyone can father a child
but only a man can be a father to a child
men lie all the time...i was at Tony's home
women tell the biggest lies...it's your baby
it doesnt matter
where,how,when you meet
its what keeps you together that is the mystery
there are two kinds of men
those that like the chasing
those that like the having
the only difference between an expert lover
and one who is merely adedquate
is the degree with which he/she can perceive
and satisfy a partners's deepest needs
luck is when preparation meets opportunity
it has a head
no brain
lives in front of two nuts
and lives around the corner from an arsehole
Women want EVERTHING
Men want THREE things
food
sex
silence
as long as u can feed him
fuck him
AND keep quiet
most men would die happy
A woman knows within the first five minutes
of meeting a man especially
after a handshake
if she will sleep with a guy
the happiest people make the best of everything
they dont have the best of everything
what lies behind us and before us
is nothing compared to
what lies within us
fan it into flames
it takes a real man to fall in love
allowing someone else control his feelings
anyone can father a child
but only a man can be a father to a child
men lie all the time...i was at Tony's home
women tell the biggest lies...it's your baby
it doesnt matter
where,how,when you meet
its what keeps you together that is the mystery
there are two kinds of men
those that like the chasing
those that like the having
the only difference between an expert lover
and one who is merely adedquate
is the degree with which he/she can perceive
and satisfy a partners's deepest needs
luck is when preparation meets opportunity
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
SNIPPETS
he who laughs last.....is a stammerer
those who live by the sword....isoko people(no offence intended)
little drops of water......from the tap
let sleeping dogs lie......not possible,calabar people dey here(no offence intended)
birds of the same feather....are from the same mother
babies have no hair(white babies)
an old man's head is bare
between the cradle and the grave lies a haircut and a shave
Hating people is like burning your home to kill a rat
let a jealous man envy you,your joy is enough punishment for him
a short man hangs his coat where his hands can reach it
ignorance is degrading only when found in the company of riches
a rich widow is a nymphomaniac who owns a liquor store(not fair)
you cant hold on to the past and still ride off into the future
to lead an orchestra you must turn you back to the crowd
show me a thoroughly satisfied man and i will show u a failure
the sun will shine on those who stand before it shines on those who kneel
when the moon is shining,the cripple becomes hungry for a walk
mountains meet only through their shadows
the moment you stop learning,you stop leading
a crab which swims in hot water,wants to turn red
those who live by the sword....isoko people(no offence intended)
little drops of water......from the tap
let sleeping dogs lie......not possible,calabar people dey here(no offence intended)
birds of the same feather....are from the same mother
babies have no hair(white babies)
an old man's head is bare
between the cradle and the grave lies a haircut and a shave
Hating people is like burning your home to kill a rat
let a jealous man envy you,your joy is enough punishment for him
a short man hangs his coat where his hands can reach it
ignorance is degrading only when found in the company of riches
a rich widow is a nymphomaniac who owns a liquor store(not fair)
you cant hold on to the past and still ride off into the future
to lead an orchestra you must turn you back to the crowd
show me a thoroughly satisfied man and i will show u a failure
the sun will shine on those who stand before it shines on those who kneel
when the moon is shining,the cripple becomes hungry for a walk
mountains meet only through their shadows
the moment you stop learning,you stop leading
a crab which swims in hot water,wants to turn red
ORIKI
an oriki loosely translated
is an ancestral song/rhyme that is used to perk up one's spirits(i guess)
well i hear mine when i'm down in the dumps and my gran tries to make me smile
she always succeeds(u would soon know why)
anyone know the translation of ORIKI?
educate me please
read on someone's blog a while ago
cant remember whose(sorry) about her love for her oriki
i actually know mine
and if u believe i know the following off-hand
then u can believe anything
Ota Odo
omo arodede
omoola sowan(a child of wealth is scarce-priceless,not common)LOL
omo amula eleji pokowoo
omo ola lo
omo aribi dege
ola potiti ola onipekun
afi aagara ola dami
aya mi pupa kosi nile(my fair-skinned wife isnt home)
koje kinse alejo(so i cant see off guests)
dudu ile komo obe se(my dark-skinned wife who is home,is a bad cook)
ijanpere koje kin mu isu loko(i cant make it to the farm to get yam bcos of ijanpere)
isu wa nile ko si obe(i have yam at home but there's no knife)
mofi iru yo lota(i used dadawa to season it)
cant translate it all but the part i have always loved is translated
reminds me of an interview i had a few years back
she asked for my star-i am libran
she also asked for my hometown(odd questions dont u think?)
soon as i said Abeokuta in Ogun state.....
she said......."Abeokuta people are lazy"
stupid me i actually agreed
but u would agree too if u had an oriki such as mine
drummed into ur ears before u could speak the language
soon as i could speak the language
the meaning of the last few verses always made me laugh
my people must be mighty lazy
ijanpere by the way is a crazy-ass ant type insect
whose sting in large doses is deadly even to man
so.if they are on the way to ur farm
u try to kill them
go back home(like my people do)
or get ready to be buried cos they will swarm u like bees
sorry........long post
anyone think i am lazy?????????
read my profile
LOL
is an ancestral song/rhyme that is used to perk up one's spirits(i guess)
well i hear mine when i'm down in the dumps and my gran tries to make me smile
she always succeeds(u would soon know why)
anyone know the translation of ORIKI?
educate me please
read on someone's blog a while ago
cant remember whose(sorry) about her love for her oriki
i actually know mine
and if u believe i know the following off-hand
then u can believe anything
Ota Odo
omo arodede
omoola sowan(a child of wealth is scarce-priceless,not common)LOL
omo amula eleji pokowoo
omo ola lo
omo aribi dege
ola potiti ola onipekun
afi aagara ola dami
aya mi pupa kosi nile(my fair-skinned wife isnt home)
koje kinse alejo(so i cant see off guests)
dudu ile komo obe se(my dark-skinned wife who is home,is a bad cook)
ijanpere koje kin mu isu loko(i cant make it to the farm to get yam bcos of ijanpere)
isu wa nile ko si obe(i have yam at home but there's no knife)
mofi iru yo lota(i used dadawa to season it)
cant translate it all but the part i have always loved is translated
reminds me of an interview i had a few years back
she asked for my star-i am libran
she also asked for my hometown(odd questions dont u think?)
soon as i said Abeokuta in Ogun state.....
she said......."Abeokuta people are lazy"
stupid me i actually agreed
but u would agree too if u had an oriki such as mine
drummed into ur ears before u could speak the language
soon as i could speak the language
the meaning of the last few verses always made me laugh
my people must be mighty lazy
ijanpere by the way is a crazy-ass ant type insect
whose sting in large doses is deadly even to man
so.if they are on the way to ur farm
u try to kill them
go back home(like my people do)
or get ready to be buried cos they will swarm u like bees
sorry........long post
anyone think i am lazy?????????
read my profile
LOL
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Anyone agree?
saw a movie yesterday Deathwatch
and i got miffed
i know only a few words in German
how come there was no translation
to explain to those of us who would have liked
to see,hear what the guy was warning them about????
please translate once you speak a different language
anyone agree?
The only way to rid yourself of temptation
is to yeild to it
or substitute with something more tempting
(culled from the movie After the Sunset)
anyone agree?
we like people for their qualities
love them for their defects
anyone agree?
guys like.......
a rough touch
sexy women
the "view"
first time inside feel
love to be told what to do
love it wild and animalistic
quickies
anyone agree?
to get a guy coming back for more....
inspire a repeat(of what?)
pay attention(to what?)
have fone sex
anyone agree?
more later..............
and i got miffed
i know only a few words in German
how come there was no translation
to explain to those of us who would have liked
to see,hear what the guy was warning them about????
please translate once you speak a different language
anyone agree?
The only way to rid yourself of temptation
is to yeild to it
or substitute with something more tempting
(culled from the movie After the Sunset)
anyone agree?
we like people for their qualities
love them for their defects
anyone agree?
guys like.......
a rough touch
sexy women
the "view"
first time inside feel
love to be told what to do
love it wild and animalistic
quickies
anyone agree?
to get a guy coming back for more....
inspire a repeat(of what?)
pay attention(to what?)
have fone sex
anyone agree?
more later..............
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Relationships
What keeps a relationship strong?
Trust
Communication
Intimacy
Humour
Sharing goals and interests
Sharing tasks
Daily Exchanges
i agree with whoever coined this
but the one i agree with the most is the last one
i personally agree with a quote i saw on my mum's friend's keyring
"never allow a man's mind to wander,it is too small to do so,it'll get lost"
i was amazed when i saw that and i was about 16-but it stuck
and years later i do say i agree with it
it is true that a man will cheat on u,
if he wants to,even if he is tied to ur apron strings
i just like to be in CONSTANT touch with whomever i date
so his mind doesnt "wander"
i like daily excahnges-made easier these days with technology
emails,calls,texts,mms......... u dont have to visit daily
the daily visit was necessary in uni
where would he rather spend his after school hours,if not with u?
my uni was non residential,so we had privacy!!!!!!!
(to do what with,i have NO idea "WINK")
except if u had the kinda guy who liked to drink
(we had no clubs,funspots so guys found solace in bars)
then he would hang out with his drinking buddies
poor u,when they are done,u would have to feed them all
moreover,he was sure to get fed in ur apartment
why miss out on a good meal thats free?LOL
i guess they are no sure tricks to having a good relationship
i've heard u have to be the perfect person to find the perfect partner
but i do believe in a relationship where.......
Trust,Communication,Intimacy,Humour,Sharing goals,Sharing tasks,Daily exchanges
thrives ON BOTH SIDES
the couple will go from strength to strength
whatdauallthink?
Trust
Communication
Intimacy
Humour
Sharing goals and interests
Sharing tasks
Daily Exchanges
i agree with whoever coined this
but the one i agree with the most is the last one
i personally agree with a quote i saw on my mum's friend's keyring
"never allow a man's mind to wander,it is too small to do so,it'll get lost"
i was amazed when i saw that and i was about 16-but it stuck
and years later i do say i agree with it
it is true that a man will cheat on u,
if he wants to,even if he is tied to ur apron strings
i just like to be in CONSTANT touch with whomever i date
so his mind doesnt "wander"
i like daily excahnges-made easier these days with technology
emails,calls,texts,mms......... u dont have to visit daily
the daily visit was necessary in uni
where would he rather spend his after school hours,if not with u?
my uni was non residential,so we had privacy!!!!!!!
(to do what with,i have NO idea "WINK")
except if u had the kinda guy who liked to drink
(we had no clubs,funspots so guys found solace in bars)
then he would hang out with his drinking buddies
poor u,when they are done,u would have to feed them all
moreover,he was sure to get fed in ur apartment
why miss out on a good meal thats free?LOL
i guess they are no sure tricks to having a good relationship
i've heard u have to be the perfect person to find the perfect partner
but i do believe in a relationship where.......
Trust,Communication,Intimacy,Humour,Sharing goals,Sharing tasks,Daily exchanges
thrives ON BOTH SIDES
the couple will go from strength to strength
whatdauallthink?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)