Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Butt Augmentation..........Alum

I'm too swamped at work to go online anymore
partly true but we no longer have acccess to the internet
i have no idea what *they* did
but they've done it again

so i do all my online biz at home
it also means i've been listening to E! more

Dr 90210 is a fav of mine
a brazilian butt augmentation is looking
like what i'll give myself
for my next birthday

but i'll pass
all i need to do is gain weight
cos i know it'll go south...*wink*

Do what makes you happy
sometimes what makes you happy
is a lot harder and scarier than what is safe

Raise your left leg
make it go clockwise
write 1-6 in the air...........*wink*
did u do this successfully?????

Someone should tell this idiotic mallam across the road
i need to pass by his hut to get to the busstop
545am is no time to be bathing!!!!!!!!!!!
so what if he's hiding between two parked cars??????

next time i hear him
i'll turn my torch on his phallus!!!!!!!!!
i wanna see if he's as big as the myth says he is

what myth?
the myth that Hausa men are endowed......*wink*

one yeye babe killed english
she pronounced musk as mooooooosque
only cos she needed her bobo to buy musk
does he smell?????????
i didnt get close enuff to find out........

he was still inside her
could not bear to seperate himself
h knew he should...ease away and give her time to recover
however much he'd fought not to hurt her there was bound to be some discomfort

finally a book that attests that breaking a woman's hymen
will cause discomfort

we need not bother with kaun(alum) as the myth says
Dr Matlock can give us that tight feeling men cherish

personally i take my kegels seriously

Dr Matlock says kegels dont work

note to self-stop kegelling my poor vagina

after my kids i'll just go see Dr Matlock
so mi hubby(the one who brings my pa 40 tubers of yam)
never forgets to visit the pussy he signs on
to partner his dick for life


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Names.......Inquisition......K leg

So do chinese people really drop
alumimium plates to name their kids?????
sing li
chen shuo

My people use the circumstance of birth to give names
Oluwapamilerinayo(God has given me laughter)
Omolaja(A child has arrived to settle a family dispute)

What do the whites use???
you go hear Akeelah.....Terrica....


A guy steps up to you
Hi my name is Bode
I'd like to know you better.......
can we hang out for a drink?????

Or he steps up to you

What is your name?
What do you do?
Where do you live?
How old are you?

Which of the two scenarios do you prefer???????

the phrase i'd like to know you better irritates me
i have no idea why...........
but once a guy uses that line..........he gets minus 1000 points

So mama asked....dont guys chat you up in buses?????

how i go answer???
i fall asleep immediately after paying my fare
any bobo whey wan chat me up
will have to wake me up first..shuo!!!!!!!!!

so you wonder why do i need to be chatted up in a bus??

she wants her daughter married
by any means.....*wink*

Another preacher said...........
when kids on holiday dey go home
the ones with bad result are scared
cos their result get K-leg

Do you have K-leg before your God?????

as for me.................
my legs are slighty bow before my God
all the better to bend it like beckham with
so as to accommodate


Monday, April 13, 2009

Traffic & Prison& A Boob Massage!!!!!!!!!!

I was in a bus
one yeye traffic like that
silently wishing i could afford a chopper ride
one stupid fat fuck lastma official entered the front seat

the minute i saw him i knew he had arrested the bus
the lady beside me said he was hitching a free ride
he seats in silence for about ten minutes then proceeds
to tell the bus driver where to go to

i hissed and insulted the fat fuck
it was bad enuff we were stuck in traffic
the stupid ass was only concerneded about a quick buck

he refused every plea and journeyed with the bus in that traffic
as far as the destination we dey go.....
all the while,the bus was arrested

stupid ass mo'fucker
i don forget hin name,i for publish am sef

some guy before we got arrested
was preaching

he has been in prison since 1985
the June 12 crisis he said
he did not steal nor kill
he was a victim of circumstance

then Gov Fashola visited the prison and granted amnesty
he was one of the lucky ones

his story made me remember my time in prison

we were made to visit prison so we would never have to live in one
their living conditions aren't good
they feed poorly
and most times they are innocent(the warder said so)

the warder said some people have had to spend
years on the inside cos of N 5,000 about(£20)

there were inmates as young as 15 and as old as in their 80's

the warder said
if there were..........
2 men fighting on the street
and they were arrested by the police
if no one sets bail for them
it was not uncommon to find them spend years in prison......

whilst touring
we found out
for an afternoon meal of eba and no stew/soup
the eba had been made in the morning
left to cool without a cover
while the prisoners slaved in the workshops
the idea of workshops was for them to learn new skills
so they could be independent when they get out.........eventually

people............my Alfa says

ti won ba fi damask ran aso ewon...a oni ba won ni ipin ni inu e.........Amen

even if they change prison uniforms to damask materials.....
may we never have cause to wear it......Amen

had my boob massaged twice.........

mum's been hounding me to go for a cervical smear test

while i dont live in the uk
her GP knows she has a grown up daughter

then............Jade Goody dies and she hounds me again

found time to go in over the Easter break...........

cervix is fyne.........
some thing finally went into my vagina
even if it was a metal and was administered by a female


then i do a breast exam and she goes
she found a lump

i need to come in tom for a sonograph

went home

no fear at all

i figure she liked the feel of my boobs and wants to touch again..........


i go in the next day
boob massager turns out to be male


i got a good massage
and he was thorough with the machine
asked if i've ever done a scan before
for boobs.....................nah
for my abdomen............yea
15 years ago...........

he says...........its nurrin to fear
just a fibrous mass

a pal of mine said
since i wasn't sportin 34DD's
they should have expected a mass

i got a boob massgae from a woman then a man..........*wink*

Easter was restful

how was your Easter?????????????????