Sunday, January 31, 2010

Car,Deola&Tayo,The One,Muse,

Got my car in Oct
went back and forth over the mechanical problems it developed
then i got frustrated and asked that it be sold
my agent-uncle picked it up and unearthed a damn good mechanic

car came back to me rolling great
parked it for a month cos i wasnt ready to do the fuel hassle thingy

recently a colleague asked if i was still owing the guy that brought my car in
anyways i also discovered i was spending more on public transport than i would spend on fuelling my car
i was also secretly afraid of braving the roads
but i found out i was lusting after other pretty babes in their rides

so this weekend
i got my adorable cuz to do the fuel hunt for me
poor boy spent 6 hrs at the station

car wash dude said he had no idea my car was that good looking
well that was 4 weeks of grime.......wink
also needed my brake pads changed

everything else rolls fyne

so i did surulere to my hood with my L sign proudly displayed
( second learners permit expired in Jan)
i do have a license though

dont ask me how
this is naija aiint it

my other learner's permit expired in 2004

i'm gonna do mama Ibi style
she went for 11 out of 20 lessons
proudly displayed the L sign and hit the roads
so after 2 lessons 6yrs apart and 2 expired permits
i need to earn the right to use my license

so,if u see a cutie with an L sign in a car
dat makes you do a double take
thats me from today.....wink

D......i love your poem

His late nights are driving me nuttttttttttttttttsssssssssssssss
yes o my brother........
he just waltzed in-its 1am
there's work today
he will wake up at 5 and start to moan about needing more sleep

I could kill for a raise.........

Ubong asked for an update on Deola and Tayo
Tayo just came back from his trip
dem never see
Deola insists she will break it off
but i did let her read all them comments
and she thinks it'll be nice to give Tayo a good bye fuck
Cos me thinks and i told her
if he hasnt given you the 400k yet
its 2 things..........
he doesnt have it to give OR he is not gonna give ya
or maybe he thinks she hasnt earned it
i told her they need to talk about it
will he or wont he give?
he can always loan it to her if he cant give it to her
he insists she shouldn't bother about his wifey.....
the decison is hers to make.........

My cousin has finally found *the one*
i really think she hit the jackpot this tyme
this is the first tyme she's talked marriage
and i'm looking forward to it
she's had 2 previous fiance(s) that i didnt care for
the girl is the most ready to marry babe i know

Ubong will send the update to the former post
soon as he gets his creative juices flowing
(he really isnt blogging anymore)
i'm just a fantastic muse

Sunday, January 24, 2010

From Ubong,Caught,Cruella,Vib.....

It is quite windy today she said as she held my arm and snuggled into me,resting her head on my shoulders and placing her open palm on my chest.That is a nice perfume you are wearing she said, as she playfully traced circles on my chest. I placed my arm around her shoulders rubbing her upper arm in a futile attempt to warm her up.

Her finger soon found the opening in my shirt and slipped in. I gasped as she held my nipples between her fingers and started stroking it. She giggled saying your nipples are getting hard like those of a babe. I moaned out my response, those are not the only things getting hard.

Are you serious she said with a mischievous look on her face. See for yourself. She retracted her hand from inside my shirt traced down my stomach and placed her open palm on my bulge squeezing lightly and saying it must be very uncomfortable in there. Before I had any chance to respond she zipped down my trousers and plunged her hand inside and brought out my phallus which immediately rose like a peacock once freed from his confines.Better.......she said as she gripped it in her small soft palms. You dick feels very warm and nice she said as she started sliding her palm up and down its length and cupping the head...I groaned, closed my eyes and leaned back on the park bench where we were seated, overlooking the water front of our hotel. It was very late at night; everyone else had gone in for the night except us.

It had been a week since we came in for the conference. The conference had lasted for just 2 days but we decided to stay back an extra week to sightsee and do some shopping. We were due to travel back to our country the next day. We met during the conference, upon discovering that we were from the same country we bonded and flowed naturally. The time spent shopping and touring together made us bond even closer and within a short time we were discussing and revealing intimate things about ourselves to each other. Our marriages were good but the sex had become routine and boring. We both agreed that we loved our partners. She had asked me if I have ever had an extramarital affair and my response was yes, once in a while but I didn’t have any permanent person and I try very hard not to make it a habit. She said in her own case she met up once with an ex and they smooched heavily but she didn’t allow him to go all the way and that at times she wished she had.

She started pumping faster as I involuntarily raised and dropped my waist in perfect synchrony with her hand movements. I could feel the pressure mounting inside me as my balls filled up and swelled under her ministration. I warned her that I was about to erupt upon which she bent over and took me into her mouth. The warmth and wetness around my dick was too much for me.....I came instantly spurting hot cum into her mouth. She transferred her palm to my balls, squeezing gently as she milked the cum out of me, swallowing as I discharged. She eventually released my dick licking it clean, before placing her head back on my chest and saying you taste really good.

She didn’t put my dick back in my trousers but held it in her palm, squeezing as it softened and shrank. I turned to her and asked if I could return the favor?, she looked up, smiled and said…

………………………….TO BE CONTINUED ………………………………

Deola dates Tayo
Tayo is married
Tayo says he loves his wife
Deola really does not care
Ironically Deola doesnt even know why she bothers with Tayo

Deola is with Tayo cos Tayo seems to really like her
I think.......its bcos of the 400k he says he'll give her for her car
She's 400k short of getting the car she wants
truth be told-she cant walk the streets of Lagos beside him
she'd rather be slightly behind or ahead........
when they hook up
its usually always nite tyme and she keeps her head down so no one
who knows her will see her with him

Tayo doesnt wear his wedding ring
(when did that ever stop anyone anyways)
she doesnt let him kiss her down there or even on the mouth
she hates her clit being stimulated by him
she wont indulge him with raunchy fone calls or text messages
she just wants him to do the deed and go home
her own orgasms she reserves for someone else

Tayo told Deola his wife found a text from him to her
so he told wifey....Deola is a married friend of his
well wifey did the facebook surfing thingy and has confronted Tayo
Wifey described Deola in detail

the text wifey saw was about him(Tayo) needing to hear her(Deola's) voice
cos he was calling her and she was cutting him off
what if wifey had seen/read loads of raunchy texts between them?

Deola has been meaning to break it off with Tayo
His recent carelessness is all the fuel she needs
There is someone else she would rather be spending all her tyme with

He(Tayo) is currently in Spain on a business trip
Deola assures me soon as he returns, she's breaking it off
she's considering a goodbye tryst
I say thats the one wifey will trace her husband to
and catch them together at........

This is one tyme when its ok to break it off with someone on the fone

Cruella is back...........meaner and nicer
She sent a crazy mail on Monday
gives me a back breaking deadline
She's extra nice to me by wed
i deliver on wed.....wink
she says its crap after perusing for 2 mins
i insist i wont take that from her
i expect her to study for 10mins tops before
she can commend and not condemn my hard work
She asked me to come in sat
i ignored the request
its gonna be a backbreaking week starting tom
i look forward to it

I think a dead relative will re-die by thurs
i think i'm gonna need the day off

My Vib is not working
D insists i over worked him
i say
what is a girl to do?
was resigned to bed humping last night
it didnt stimulate me
i'm hooked on mr silva
D is a mechanical genius
he better fix mr silva or we're getting me a new toy

curious about toys?

Sunday, January 17, 2010


Someone gave me a new year gift
a dvd-he apologised that it was small
it was an apt gift cos
the one in my living room recently packed up
my brother asks is the guy your toaster?
i say no
he says oh he will soon toast you
i said no i doubt
he says......well guys dont give women gifts without a reason
i said it was a group of us at work o
he says well he may have given the others gifts as well
but your gift has a hidden reason
so people cant give or receive gifts again without people thinking *something*???

as for him(brother)
in the space of a month
i've so far stumbled on four different *links*
he says a link is not a girlfriend and neither is she a slut
she may become a girlfrend
but for the moment she's a link

he always asks me
what do you think?
i always shrug
i dont think nothing
i dont even register their faces
i only acknowledge their greeting
then immmediately ignore them
i have no intention of *knowing* any link
he can ask my opinion when he gets a girlfriend
one of them is probably off the link list
well she asked for 3k for her hair
she got 1k
and since then she's been acting funny
his words

i dont know what she expected
guy is only just a corper
how much do they pay them peeps?
and yes i object to my money being spent on his *links*

i remember in uni
while some would send/take a list of 10k home for the folks
another would send a 30k list
whilst another had a 50k list
my deduction
you ask for what you know the person can afford

if my papa na farmer
my list no go pass 5-10k
if my papa na banker
i'll try for 15-20k
if my papa na politician
why?i'll ask for 100k

same with boyfriends abi?
a friend of mine used to say
how do u date a guy and not get money from him?
i've always thought-why should he pay my bills?
if he's a student like you
if he doesn't pay for your hair
wont you make it?

if he's a corper like you?
if he doesn't buy you dem shoes
will you go barefeet?

if he works like you do?
what is your own salary for?

no qualms if a lady is broke/has a need
and her man gives her some money/sorts her out
no qualms if he puts her on a salary
but i have a real issue with babes like my colleague
even if all she needs to buy/pay for is 1k
in her words
a man has to pay/buy it for her

i dont get it

note to future husband
yes you will foot every bill mama foots the bills in my home
i aint doing same for NO man
i wish we could get papa to pay child benefits
sadly...........we are not children......

its been another week without electricity

caught Sherlock Holmes and Avatar
with peeps from work
both movies i enjoyed
had a 5 min doze during both movies
i guess i was dog tired

as for mr link
since i gave him a spare key to the gate
my 11pm curfew no longer counts
if i ask him when he came in
he says at a reasonable tyme
if i say
not true cos i fell asleep at 230am
he goes well i must have come in about 3am then?

D says boys will be boys
i just lock my door once i'm settled for the nite
i dont want any surprises

since most women dont get orgasms from vaginal stimulation
why do friends look at me funny when I mention vibrators
especially the ones for stimulating the clit
ok i must admit
a woman has to be brazen to need a toy
apparently i'm one of the brazen ones

Monday, January 11, 2010

Stallion,Cruella,Marry Me,Pregnant,Horny

She could smell the sex
even as Gabe and his handlers brought the stallion in
the air in the shed thickened with it
the mare called out,in protest or welcome
and the stallion answered with a sound that caused
something to thigten in Kelly's stomach

In a powerful lunge,the stallion reared up and mounted the mare
wide-eyed she(kelly) watched
the stallion plunged wildly-his need.....frantic and somehow human

he covered her-demanding.................commanding
she(mare)accepted-her rolling in what Kelly thought must surely be pleasure

without realizing it-she(kelly) moved closer
fascinated by the passionate frenzy of mating
her own heart pounding
her blood hot-the quick pang of arousal staggered her
then she found herself looking at Gabe
shocked to see her own primitive and unexpected reaction mirrored in his eyes
staggering to have the vision flash through her mind of being taken as the mare was being taken


You people should warn Cruella for me o
when i wanted to go on leave
she said i could not have 3 weeks off cos me
being away from my desk for 3 weeks
means the office can do without me
and to show my job is important to me
i can only do two weeks at a stretch

now i'm being owed a precious month
2010's days none inclusive

but..........she just took a month long holiday
not due back till the 25th
i have enjoyed not having her breathing down my neck
but if she thinks she can take 4 weeks
then bring back some measley chocolates
hoping i will forget she damn well took four weeks at a stretch

not counting all the numerous relatives she buried in 2009

she no well

those days i am owed

i shall take by hook or by crook

every dead member of my family will die again
so she may just be getting some randoms sms's

sorry cant make it in
uncle died last night
off to ife to bury
off to ilesha to bury
off to maiduguri to bury........

in 2009 alone.............she must have buried 9 relatives..............

i think its tyme the dead in my family died again
cos the silly ass wont approve my leave......
if i feel like a few days off to rebury my dead...........Q.E.D


last tyme he had me was in 2003
i was off to nysc camp
it lasted a while
then fizzled out
i no dey for lagos-ibadan expressway every fri
dick dey lagos

he visited me today
he wants to marry me
i smiled

then said..........whatever i did to you in '03
i must have left a lasting impression
but you see
he dropped the marriage card
and asked dat whomever
i am currently dating needs to go

i'm sorry T
cant do that
I'm crazy about D

and just cos you dangled the marriage card dont mean i will jump
its mean to do that when a man is talking to an overipe for marriage babe like me


like my pal said
theres more to marriage than good-great sex
moreover he still works in that yeye ibadan
lagos-ibadan expressway?

na burials dey make me travel that road o

cos if na wedding
dem go still born
do naming etc
i'll make up for missing dia wedding
but na once person dey die

i no dey for that kain journey
i still maintain it

dick dey lagos
dem plenty sef............

and as my paddy said

if he wants me as a second wife
he better be ready for me to get a
second husband a few years down the line

me?numero two?


did i mention
he also said
i can choose to live in cally?
i wont have his babies in naija-yes oooooooo
the twins God promised him.......that his wife has not given him
dem apparently dey my body


i say i've never been pregnant
everyone i've ever told wonders if i'm normal

i've never lived with a man
so its pretty easy to stay away from spermatozoa when i'm ovulating
and in any case
when most men hear-i'm not safe
they wear two condoms....wink

and there's always the pill(s).....

so seriously
why is it soooooooooooo hard to digest????

i've never being

to the best of my knowledge
there nothing wrong with my fertility

moreover i aiint trying to make a baby......yet
so why should i bother about being (in)fertile
when i'm emotionally and financially ready to make a new life
i will

and i know i will do it with or without a man beside me

Oluwa ni fun ni lomo............God gives children

And as for this always wanna shag mode that i've been in lately
i just dey wonder.................


Saturday, January 2, 2010

Its 2010

I have a good feeling about 2010
its sexy to even say it............
its cumbersome to say two thousand and ten

2009 was a good year
albeit incidental
people died
people lost jobs
the recession hit us in naija

last few days of the year
my mama has gone from a pneumonia scare
something fishy in her blood
to the all clear
to her blood pressure issues

my diagnosis

she should come back to lasgidi

my mama is ill cos she has money issues
and she is depressed cos she goes home to noone.......everyday

i want her close
........she does get under my skin
but i love her to bits

my pa......enjoying himself with his new (rumoured pregnant) lady

my brothers are fyne
S is driving me crazy
but i'll survive

the other S
(both brothers have S names)
he's great

I.............i'm fyne

i have no resolutions
i didnt reach some of the goals i set for myself in 2009
but i have a good feeling about 2010

its gonna be a marvelous year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!