Monday, May 31, 2010

Mi Blog is Three!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Blog is 3 today

He is fabulous with his tongue
he has a small phallus(she told me)
he is possessive
checks her fone,stresses over everything
wonders how as a markerter in a bank
she seems homely

his possessiveness drove her nuts and she said HELL NO
after all the dick no dey *fill* her neways

8 months later he marries his ex

he's been married about 10 months now
and word from him is his wife has not fucked him in 8 months
not even a kiss he says
his ex(my pal) and i are wondering if na the smallness of the dick
dey cause marital issues
why she marry am?
cos no sex after ONLY 2 months of marital bliss?
or is she pregnant?
well we didnt ask cos some wives tend to close shop
when they get pregnant
but then again
is it a case of two sexually incompatible people getting married?
but why do men marry women with whom they are not sexually compatible?

but like my cousin says........wives change........

my cousin told me
these days after 2 kids he has to beg for *it*
sometimes he needs to buy a gift for wifey
before she lets him have sum
this is a woman who would give it to him just about everywhere
and anytyme when they were dating
so is it the kids that tire her so much???
i no know why her man has to beg for it o
he confessed to loving the tyme work sent him to SA
he sowed his oats he says.......
now he is back and he is begging for it all over again
for some reason he has no plans to cheat on her in naija
but he is running out of his mind..........

i KNOW there's more to a marriage than sex
but THUNDER fire anyone that tells me

colleague of mine
his wife had a miscarriage after 3 months
when she got pregnant the second time
*his words*............she closed shop
up and down shop he says
she for at least open the top shop he said
but she was sore.....
shop was closed for 9 months and now the baby is here
shop is still closed.......
(i know there is a 6 week no sex after baby rule)
its been 3 months since the baby came
he MUST be a saint cos i know him well enuff(i think) to know
he probably has mastered the art of masturbating
or he just cant,wont sleep with others to let go of his sexual tension
cos he tells me almost on a daily,how sexually frustrated he is
i always give him a great big hug and tell him to hang in there.....

another colleague has the same scenario
miscarriage and shop closed
but with him???all he needs is a willing female
who knows??? he may already have a few....

I love sex......after i discovered it...
i keep wondering if pregnancy and kids
will keep away from *my* phallus
cos i know when i decide to have and to hold
one for the rest of me life
its gotta be a pretty good specimen
else why would i wanna forsake all others???
so if i decide to forsake all others
how can he be sexually frustrated if we are in the same bed???
ok fine-some days/nights-one or both of us is too tired
some days/ or both of us is there will be no soundtracks
some days/nights...I or he will be away
i can understand a few days of madness in personal lifes and no sex happens

court documents signed to say sex is legal
yams exchanged
dowries paid in families where dowries are accepted

and one month
two months
then to hear 8 months


wives stop letting those women outside outshine you jo
so even if and when he gets sum on the outside
because some men will...........

homeboy knows for sure that when he gets home
madam will fuck him like a porn star

I know someone who is in love with a man who has
4 wives and 9 children
She is seperated from her own husband
her husband has remarried or is currently cohabiting
with another woman who has a son for him
and he is asking for a divorce

what i dont understand is
she gets into a relationship after her seperation and it is
with a man with 4 wives????

cos for a woman to be number 5
guy must have DIRTY MONEY
wrinkle your nose all you want
shake your head if you will
but something must make a woman wanna be number 5
if you dont know what i mean
ever been near a compost heap?
see how bad it smells and affects you?
yels money that does that to a person

i'm a muslim.....almost everyone i'm related to
is a polygamist
i come from a world where polygamy
is encouraged and accepted

man takes a second need to crucify him
if we are able to know the inner workings of the man's mind
more often than naught...he has a valid reason....
hard to believe i know
wrinkle your nose
shake ya head
spit on the floor if you will
if the guy is not a promiscous fuckhead
there is usually a valid reason......Q.E.D

but when he takes a third and a fourth
he is either a confirmed polygamist.....hehehehehehe
or a KING

so help me ask this person i know
is madness worrying her?
she has been crying ooooo
begging him(Mr 4 wives) to come back
cos her elder sister made a big fuss and
Oga said im no do again
me i dey wonder gan ni
number 5?
9 children?
so her kid if any...will be number 10?

if his money isnt smelling...yea dirty money smells....
there is no basis for number 5ism

cos if he is a pussy eater
he probably has eaten 4 pussys before he heads to yours
if he is a kisser
that 4 pussy eating mouth will pass you saliva????


abi i lie?

dick enter pussy 1,2,3,4 then hers
mouth chop pussy 1,2,3,4 then hers
mouth exchanges saliva with mouth 1,2,3,4 then hers
moreover if he's shagging her(she's not his wife is she?)
then he is shagging others!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and (whisper)your average married man doesnt use condoms
well he's gotten used to, not needing to wear the damn thing
matter of fact....most married phalluses detest *the sheath*
I hear peeps attest to it(men and women alike)
once you put a sheath on such a dick
dick goes to sleep
so her own Oga is probably going sheathless
into some 5 pussys and counting????

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh the things we endure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you,I and all of us whey dey shag.........

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


So my uncle says
polygamous men live longer lives

with one wife
she could kill him so she can get all he has
with 2 wives
if one is trying to do away with him
the other is making sure he stays alive
with three
even better..........
all 3 wives want him around long enuff...else
who will fend for their upkeep with him gone???

and he ended the convo by saying he is getting himself
wife number two a few years from now

i was one of those irritating kids
if we went to a petrol station
i will puke

if i went on a plane ride
i will puke

if it was a bus ride,so long as i had a meal
before embarking on the journey
i will puke

if a man decidded to puff beside me
i will puke

lucky me-papa didnt smoke
uncles who did............
stayed away from me

i can now feast before and during plane rides,bus rides
trips to the petrol station
without puking

as for men who smoke
i've dated and even dreamt of being married to 3

see how people change

My Pal is pregnant!!!!!
happy for her
At first she was sad
now she seems resigned to the situation
her fiance is not around
so i guess the idea of long cold alone nights
na im cause all the cry cry
i sooooo look forward to seeing her with her bump

Am i weird
i honestly dont give a damn about the institution marriage....yet
my cousin disgusts me
every freaking sentence
she cant wait to be outta here
in her own home
she cant wait to be married
funny thing is
she doesnt look,act the part(potential wife)
wish her well she sabi

...i keep telling people to stop being worried
for me
i'm not worried.......werrin dia own??
coupledom will happen for me
cos even the Lord knows i'm not yet mentally and emotionally ready
dats why he's keeping the yam buyer away
(yup...........future husband of mine owes my family 42 tubers of yam)

as for webcams
mine suppose don blow
the things we get up to...

Monday, May 3, 2010


Took a stroll after dinner this evening
saw two couples
different distances
couple one hugging by the roadside
one half had to be headed off to theirs
other couple downstairs in the dark
and i thought....cute

but....a roadside hug mean say
them no get motor(heheheheheheheh)
and a downstairs in the dark hug mean say
make mama and or papa no catch them...

mind me not
just feeling evil

must be all the pettyness Cruella spreads my way
must be rubbing off.....

his music.......
used to own a few tapes
cant find my old tapes
need to go get me some cd's
i remember boyfriend i was dating then
used to say i acted possessed whilst listening to his music
guy threathened to throw my tapes out
kept my tapes away from him
and indulged in my obsession or possession whenever he wasnt around

When a guy stops taking your calls,wont email,text,visit....
is he breaking up with ya?
I think he is.....
My cousin finally read the writing on the wall
guy is an ass though
a man can get most things he wants without dangling the M word
cos when you do dangle then misbehave....i really just wonder
i know some men do that, cos it seems thats all the girl wants to hear
i think its decidedly evil though to dangle the M word with a babe
who is soooooo ready to be married
when there are soooooooo many other girls that will let you do as you please
with each realising thats all there is to and or friendship
no in-laws,no wedding,no kids ever.....

but then again, why is that once *sum* babes dont hear Marriage dey wont date
sometimes all a man is good his dick
sometimes his money
sometimes he can get you up the corporate ladder
or he is just that darling friend who helps you sieve the good from the bad
cos,well he is male.....
cos they have a code-a man always knows-
so whenever your male friend tells you to let that guy go
drop him fast.........

Lynette of desperate housewives can always get Tom to do what she wants
its like, what she says is what gets done
Tom says letting her get her way makes her feel safe
cos her childhood was wack

In will you merry me?
The fathers told the son
the secret to a happy marriage is deciding if you wanna be right or happy

so they choose to be happy
hence they let their wives get away with most things

isnt that a *white* thing
In Naija...........what the guy wants, is all that matters...true?

I think in every relationship
there has to be balance.........compromise
with each couple there should always be the one dat can back down first
so peace can reign......

I like to talk things through when i'm calm
I hate to argue when i'm angry or mite get angry
at that point-silence is what i'll dish out
but when i'm calm...........
i can be sooooo annoying
cos i wont stop talking till u see it my way
or pretend to see it my way
and i'll enjoy it immensely cos i'm calm and
whoever it is,is probably pissed or headed there....
*evil grin*