Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Mobile,Babes,Love is, Jokes

cant remember my life without my mobile anymore
is it just me??????

i obsess about the sms's on my fone
any texts that is personal is deleted once read
any text that can be misconstrued is deleted
cos some people are just nosy parkers.........

i think a lot of kids out dia are loving the *twins*
their mum's and any other........
had *my* encounter on sun
first thing the little lady did was pinch me on the boobs
then she proceeded to kick me
i think cos i wasn't forthcoming
her mum kept apologising.........
but i didnt give a hoot
she could have kicked me from here to the bahamas
for all i care
she has no claim on my twins
so if she was showing her displeasure........
it was my pleasure to displease her

You dont have to find the perfect person
to experience perfect love

Love is when you care about someone else's
happiness always and forever
whether or not-you are destined to be together

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine
restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman
comes over to their table, gives the husband a big
kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell
was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife.
"I've had enough, I want a divorce."

"I can understand that," replies her husband,
"but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you
don't get any more shopping trips to Paris,no more
wintering in Barbados , no more summers in
Tuscany ,no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no
more yacht club.But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant
with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.

While sports fishing off the Florida coast,
a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators
kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,
"Are there any gators around here?!"

"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"

Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.

About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber replied. "The sharks got 'em

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day
and told him to come into his office.

"What is your name?" was the first thing he asked the new guy.

"John," the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of
a namby-pamby place you worked at before,
but I don't call anyone by their first name.
It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.
I refer to my employees by their last name only --
Smith, Jones, Baker -- that's all.
I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson.
Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling."

"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."


Rayo said...

Keep flaunting the girls!!

I love the last joke. High-larious!!

ibiluv said...

@rayo...i aim to please

Freaksho said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Freaksho said...
This comment has been removed by the author.