Monday, March 30, 2009

Sleep with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

una well done o
i no win anything !!!!!!!!!

anyway sha
as una dash me nomination
i'll make do..............

moreover the people whey win...............
dem deserve am.........

V monologues was a hit again this year

Revulva made more sense this year thanks to Omonor
Songs of praise.......a hit....again

Sleep with me...Absolutely.........

na for inside movie them talk am
i dey practise as i go take talk am........*wink*
soon as i get myself a willing dick interested in
cos its not like i lack willing dicks
the ones i want are miles away/married/in love with someone/blind to my charms

I have a great big crush on a certain crooner
never had one this bigggggg.......

*i shake my head for myself*

i recently discovered i've only being in love once
given the average human can fall head over heels in love seven times
i'm waiting for the remaining six times to happen
even if it is with the same man

cos i finally faced it
what i felt for Mel was lust

the guy who showed me his phallus???????????
(from my*are you ready to rumble* post)
he showed me
i ogled it
he put it back in
then said he was sorry
he then proceeded to say
he's been to churches
he has climbed mountains
he really has no idea why
but for the past four years
everytyme he sees a group of women
he gets this urge to show them his dick

most times people are shocked and run away
other times he gets beat up

his family.........they are tired of the shame

he walked away

i looked back at my friends
who just did not understand
how i could patiently look at *it*
not run........
then listen to his explanation

its a crazy world we live in.....

his story prompted my neighbour to tell us another

old woman
bachelor as tenant(works as bank manager)
woman had one child
a teenage girl
babe was bootylicious
bachelor impregnates her
landlady finds out
she calls dude
i know about the pregnancy
what do u wanna do about it?
dude starts to talk long story
woman says
no long talk
i'll take care of my girl and her kid
but you need to leave my home at the end of the month
dude later tricks the girl into taking some drugs
babes not only miscarries
she dies

what did land lady do?
she inflicted guy with said
phallus showing disease
crazy thing is
he needs to do his in a market
remember dude was a bank manger

they sent several emissaries to woman
she never denied afflicting guy with phallus showing ailment
she just says
she'll make it stop
if anyone can wake up her child

since no one can
he probably still does it

so the one i witnessed????
i wonder what he did.........

saw the international
i love the way it ends
cos life IS like that
you dont always get closure

watching the reader
slumdog millionaire
and the curious case of benjamin button
is bad for anyone's self esteem if it aiint high enuff
why did some guy not have that kind of undying love for me
when i was 8,13,15?????

why do i have to be boyfriendless
friend with benfitless?????
in short....dickless.........

i tire o

my cousin's boyfriend's wife just had twins
she's been missing from home since the babies were delivered
she's helping the father ease his......i have no idea whats she's doing

i pity her
cos if she gets preggers
maybe she'll have triplets............
i wonder how she will explain to her fiance how she got preggers........

if you walk towards your car
and turn around to see a cutie grinning at you
it just might be me

lately.....i've just been grinning like an idiot
every tyme i see someone walking towards their car/or driving it
cute cars and delicious people only


i just get this flash..........
that will be me in a few months

Saturday, March 21, 2009


i just saw slumdog millionaire

the reader

curious case of benjamin button

and voted for meself

i'm off to bed

had to come remind you

vote for moi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I'm a Nominee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm wearing a tag
i'm loving it

Improve your image
be seen with me

So i went into the loo after a dude
yea its a unisex loo
i saw hair on the seats
so i'm wondering does he have syphilis?

well some crazy bugger once told me
that hair loss there
is a sypmtom of the VD
i've never had it so i've never being able to confirm


erm but make my mam no discover my blog o
why say una no nominate me for most intelligent?
Fire in my Pants - Blogger who would hook up with based soley on the content of their blog
Hot and Sexy! Blogger you think is hot in real life

i'm humbled i was nominated
i really had no idea
been mad busy at work
then too tired to log onto the net at home
na Smaragd remind me this morning say i never update

so i'm updating so i can canvass for votes

How many of you know your genotypes?
mine was drummed into my ear at age 7
everytyme i see a good looking brother i may wanna have babies with
i ask him his genotype
most people find it weird that i ask
i've lost cousins cos of this(sickle cell anaemia)

i have a cousin who has still not had his church wedding
we always have to postpone
dude is always too ill to have a big wedding
he is cheating his brides mum
we are cool with the small thingy we had at the registry
but his mother-in-law still wants Sunny Ade
to play at her daughter's wedding

sadly...i lost another cousin last week
pregnant wife
a son that will never know his father

its sad really
very sad

pardon my pessimism
i dont care if my Denzel shows up
if his genotype is AS(i'm AS)
i'm running away

but once i was in love enough to go the whole hog
we decided every tyme i got pregnant we would do an amniocentiesis
but i kept wondering if God will forgive me for letting my foetus(s) die
cos we decided everytime we found out we were having a baby with sickle cell
we would let the baby die(abort)
well he chickened out(he has lost an elder brother to sickle cell anemia)

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Yap………………………………………………now read.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Life is Good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Riri & Chris......dude must be fantastic in bed
me thinks he's immature and with the
beatingwhey she just chop...........
the dick must be good..............
else why in heaven's name is she taking him back???????

if na me..i care not if the dick is as good as BW...
i aiint going back after such decking!!!!!!

Cradle snatcher called me at 1140 am sunday morning
this was after he called 8pm sat night to let me know
he is in my hood
his problem??he needs to connect his printer to his
i say-its sun morn-i know noone who can help
moreover if you are online-me thinks you should be able
to do it yourself
so he says-he's tried without success
why dont i come over???
so i tell him-i've got plans for the day and they dont
include solving his IT issues........

phone rings at noon another ex
he's in my hood and he is hungry
so i say.........ransack your mama's kitcehn
or go to a restaurant
cos the holy book says you shouldn't eat food prepared
by an concubine or an ex or otherwise
dude goees haba!!!! le ju(we dey fight???)
i say oh no....i'm just teasing
he says oh he really needs to see my face
so i say my face is busy

Dear Lord on a sunday morning
what type of terrible soap is this(whey i take baff)??????
i was nicely asking Baba to forgive me my trespasses
so i can pray for a windfall(money not dicks)
afterall i have not fornicated in 8 months
so i'm therefore worthy to seek and find

i hereby reject and rebuke all ex's
they are ex's for a reason(s)

Baba loke as we celebrate the prophet's birth
grant me my heart's desires............AMEN!!!!!!!!

am at the salon hours later...jejely making my nails
but giving my eyes food....watching everyone
this silly ass comes in...pretty..cute kid in tow
no wedding or engagement ring
who am i to judge.......
i'm kids@30 going on......

but i totally hated her outfit
if i was male i would not spare her a glance
she was trying too hard...
tight skirt......bum was squeezed in...
so you couldnt't appreciate the bum........
top too low.......boobs seeping out
thrashy not classy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but then each his own.........

i just wonder.............
i watch nolloywod movies and when a guy needs to send his wife packing
he pushes her out with a ghana must go bag and a box
i look around my home now
and i wonder how many cars i'll need to cart away all
i've acquired over the years......
its irrelevant if i need them or not
they are MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and even though when i marry i know i'll have to do sum downsizing
i still know i've got a lot of little bits and pieces of me
that i'm taking along so
my new home will totally be my home

so pray tell Mr Director.......
if we ever need to act a movie
he had better get me a BRT bus to take my stuff
cos two bags wont take even my shoes!!!!!!!!!!!!!