Sunday, February 22, 2009


Passed by a sign

No loitering
No hawking
No parking
Military zone
Fine-deflated tires

Some guy that sells OK in my hood
has a sign that says
80% off
OK is almost free
so i wonder with 80% off
why not just hand it out for free????????
(OK=Okrika=bend down boutique)

We know when we are being lied to(most times)
but.....some times.......
the truth hurts too much
we'd prefer the lies

I was talking to a pal
and i asked...............
what names do guys calls babes they sleep with these days....

together we came up with
help me-i'm no male
i know no female wants to be called any of these names

in my dictionary a man can be a
i doubt any guy wants to answer to either of the first two names
i've never insinuated to anyone he was any of the first two
................i've had one of both

but i'd rather tumble into bed with a friend

i fancied myself getting married to a guy a few years ago

they guy i leaned on when i broke up with Mel

he is currently in a relationship

it looks serious

last night he called

all i've done lately is emails

and he asks

am i happy he is in a relationship

i say yes

why would i not be?

is it cos i asked you(him) to marry me thrice

and on each ocassion you brushed me away????

he says..........i never asked

moreover he always thought he was not good enough for me

so i said.........well i did ask you

i even asked one time why we are we not dating

every time you brushed my questions away

i knew he had major issues because we dont see God the same way

he is a good xtian virgin guy

i was scared i was gonna lead him straight to hell


me-definitely not Xtian

neways......he's found a good Xtian girl

if she's virgin or not i know not

wish him well

i really do

i'm someday gonna find me an unclean guy

who wants to get dirtier with me

with his body and mind and possessions

not his soul

i need his soul to be pure....*wink*

Monday, February 16, 2009

Are you ready to rumble????

Feb 14th
had errands to run and a wee bit of shopping
the sun was a killer
i growled when the bus conductor's sweat landed on my arm

got to my cousin's
laffs-stuffed my face
decided to head on home to dinner with myself

the rain decided otherwise
all the cabs had ladies
touching up their make up in them

an Uncle stays close
he heard i just left so he came to pick me
insisted i spend the night
why go home to yourself?????

i said most peeps just had their dinner ruined
with a glint in his eyes he said
*laroda ojo*
(theres no easy way to translate this
but what do you think he was saying????
rain-wet girlfriend-guy's doorstep-val's day/night)

went back to theirs
we had dinner
red wine
and watched
*why did i get married* (for the umpteenth time)
and it occured to me
they've been married 9 years
last year
she got cards at noon
lunch at 2pm(chinese)
and cake at 4pm
i have no idea what he had planned for dinner*wink*

this year
the people at her job missed out on oohing and aahing
but once again
they did not take themselves for granted
...........they have a good thing going

So conductor tonite hikes the fare by 20naira
i'm too tired to argue
I and many others
Some guy was in the mood for trouble
he decided not to pay the hike in price

conductor rants and raves
drives him past his drop
2 stops later driver stops for another passenger
conductor takes off his shoes/shirt
trust Lagosians they stopped them
i was in the mood to watch a royal rumble
moreover i was disgusted by his antics

any man that can floor you
doesnt bother getting neat
he wants you to bloody him if you can
cos he knows he can bloody you in seconds

in another life..........i have a black belt in karate
once........i had a crush on such a machine
one thing he always told those of us close to him was
*never try to catch me unawares*
guy who did
was flat on his back in seconds
and in danger of getting a dislocated shoulder
unfortunately 50 other people witnessed it

fooling around was usually tricky
you could get a broken finger
just for trying to startle him

i survive his friendship without any scars
but i think Chris Brown was wrong
any man trained in martial arts
never uses his skills outside battle
machine or not
hitting a sooooooooooo wrong

every kid of mine is gonna be skilled in martial arts
you never know when you may need to defend yourself.............

What would you do if you are standing together
a group of 6 women enjoying the evening breeze
asswipe walks up to you
good evening ladies..............
i want to show you something
i'm not interested cos i think
sales man
..........i watch as he zips down
pulls down his pants and shows us his phallus
the others run away screaming
i stand there grinning

it was a good sized one
in another circumstance
with a guy i really fancy
that would give me joy...........*wink*

Monday, February 9, 2009

Do I miss him/it????????

Dealing with grief is hard ..........very hard
especially if the person is a loved one
when i was called about Gramps-all i said was its a lie
a minute later i was packing-heading home
he was gonna be buried in a few hours
but by the tyme i got to my boss to say why i needed to leave
the dam burst.............
i somehow got the words out and made it home
being with people who share your grief can make it easier

its not like he's the first i've lost
there was maternal gramps and gran
but paternal gramps-i spent my formative years with
we were close-it hit me hard
miss you gramps..............*sigh*

asides loosing family
there also friends who have left us
school friends
people we used to work with

i believe when they go
its hard for us to take it in
but we must
cos if he/she wasnt meant to go
he/she would still be with us

a house crumbles
5 days later someone is pulled out almost no injury
same building someone who practically landed on top of the debris
who was seemingly ok-dies on his/her way to hospital

a home burns
same home
same circumstances
two people get out
one survives one does not

a plane crashes-one survivor

a car accident-a robbery

so many ways death may come

i have an aunt who says
death is a debt
we all must pay
only thing is
when it comes it comes with some thing

we hear he went to sleep and didnt wake up
or he coughed o-and that was it
he only complained of a headache
he was on a bike o
he was travelling o
na robbers shoot am o
so many scenarios

my wish for us all
that we pay the debt of death in our old age

i've seen one death too many
Dear Lord its too early in the year
to take your children home

PS:how come when i'm asked
do you miss her
all i think of is why miss her
will she give me money????

and if it is-do you miss him????
all i think of is why miss him???
will him give me money?????

but if its an ex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
his phallus....oh yesssssssssssss i miss it

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Weight & February..........

weighed my cousin yesterday...........
his father refuses to pick him....he weighs 16.4kg

we call him *eru ti o se ji gbe*(kidnappers cant get him)

he'll be two in april
i weighed 12kg at age 10
i remember cos we were weighed in school and i got the nickname cockroach
my mum came to school to warn my classmates and the silly ass teacher that gave me the name to desist from calling me such

next guy that a bloody nose

next person who got me REALLY mad *has* a chipped tooth

i'm VERY VERY slow to anger
the holy book says.......the best amongst men is he who can control his anger

the few times i've lost it
i've done things i *should* regret

i'm VERY vindictive
being able to control my anger is therefore a VERY good thing

at 12 some classmate told me he liked me
i didnt give a hoot

at 14 he sang the song again
i almost maimed him

at 15 the whole school must have *talked* to me on his behalf
i did start to date him
all he ever got out of it.........
was a side hug and hand holding

at 15 and half
next guy who liked me
used to read me poems
nice.....very nice
he stole a peck on my lips one night

at 17 i saw a pair of biceps and i forgot my name
dated him 6 months
fell in love........the first time
he had my heart and got my pussy
he didnt know what to do with it
(he was an 18 yr old virgin....forgive him.....*wink*)

at 19 i dated a guy 8 years older
he got my virginity but not my heart

at 22 i gave my body but not my heart
three years later......he got married

at 25 i tried to repeat *my previous arrangement*
but i lost my heart again at 28
sadly he wanted someone else

its been three years.........
all i'm willing to give is friendship
if i throw in my body........its my body

its february again
some guys are gonna start inventing stories
some will break up to make up later

what ever is on your plate
eat with relish

i'm gonna be pampering myself that day
not sure yet
a spa
movie(s) and good food
a good bout(s) of
mind melting
grammy award win soundtrack inducing
earth shattering

sex will be appreciated.............