Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.
"Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?"
asked the first guy.
"Well, not exactly. She's more into the trick dog aspect of it," replied his friend.
"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?" asked the first guy.
"Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg; then she rolls over and plays dead."
A Nigerian and an American man are sitting next to
each other on a long flight from London to New York .
The American man leans over to the Nigerian and asks
if he would like to play a fun game.
The Nigerian just wants to take a nap, so he politely
declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few
The American man persists and explains that the game
is real easy and is a lot of fun. He explains "I ask
you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you
pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't
know the answer, I'll pay you $5."
Again, the Nigerian politely declines and tries to get
The American man,now somewhat agitated, says, "OK,
if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I
don't know the answer, I'll pay you $100!"
This catches the Nigerian's attention, and he sees no
end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to
The American asks the first question. "What's the
distance from the earth to the moon?" The Nigerian
doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls
out a five dollar bill and hands it to the American.
Now, it's the Nigerian's turn. He asks the American
"What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down
The American looks up at him with a puzzled look. He
takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his
references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem
and searches the net and the Library of Congress.
Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers-- all to
After about an hour, he wakes the Nigerian and hands
him $100. The Nigerian politely takes the $100 and
turns away to try to get back to sleep. The American,
more than a little miffed, shakes the Nigerian and
asks "Well, so what's the answer?" Without a word, the
Nigerian reaches into his wallet, hands the American
$5, and turns away to get back to sleep.
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window
"I want to open a damn checking account."
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir;
I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account right now!"
"I'm very sorry, sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank.
" So saying, the teller leaves the window and goes over
to the bank manager to tell him about the situation.
They both return and the manager asks the old geezer,
"What seems to be the problem here?"
"There's no problem, damn it!" the man says,
"I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery
and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!"
"I see," says the manager. "Is this bitch giving you a hard time?"
So i got this flyer
some woman calls herself
prophetess evangelist chaplain major general president overseer of a minsistry
is it just me,or does she need all these titles?????
she goes on to tell us the good she's done and
wants to continue to do for beggers,destitutes
the handicapped,the deaf,dumb,elderly pple,motherless babies,refugees,widows,hospitals and prisons
whilst i commend her and appreciate what she's doing
i have an issue with her asking us to help her cause
by sending money in two accounts both with the same bank
one savings,the other current
but both in *her* name
i am thinking y?
how does she account for all the money that goes in????
i know it's a question of integrity
but for proper accountability........
i think it should be an account in a company name
with other signatories
no offence intended but is it just me who thinks
thats the way it should b????????