Tuesday, May 2, 2017


I turn around and hear the wind

it sounds angry i think

i need a drink of water

i roll over and there it is

my faithful bedside bottle i change every night

i take several gulps

he turns..


hey i said

smells like rain he said


i finish the water and snuggle into his arms

thinking to catch some sleep

i did doze off..

not sure how long i had been asleep but i felt feather light kisses against my thigh

i stretch but i dont open my eyes

he continues then starts to lightly touch my nipples

i wriggle

he moves up and clamps a nipple with his warm mouth

i groan...

Help Reni


Friday, March 31, 2017


At some point I was locked out

i got a hi from Toinlicious and I came here and well i am no longer locked out

its been aeons

not sure I still have my mojo

imma check and be back.....soon

Saturday, March 21, 2015

The Balcony

I love balcony's
my earliest memories of them
Gramps and i sitting on chairs
swatting at mosquitoes
talking about any and everything

Em has a balcony
and there were no quitos
(an endearing name for mosquitoes)

we were laughing at something he said
i giggled then slapped his thigh softly

he caught my hand and stroked it
i smiled, licked my lips and
........our lips fused

the kiss was .......bliss
i opened my eyes and said
Em, people can see
he smiled and said
spend the night with me

the breeze is cool against my skin
i'm sated...
i cant remember what we ate, neither do i recall what we drank

i however can recall every touch,
how his skin felt when I slid my hands across his back

how his beard tickled my thigh

wide grin

i love balcony's

Sunday, February 22, 2015


so coookie got a lil sumthin sumthin
wink wink
17 yrs is too damn long

he hit me up on lync-what you doing at work?
deadlines, hon i replied.

same here...
i'll be done in an hour he said

i'll be done in 2 i said

was saving my work
then i heard the doors open

a wide grin spread across my face
i thought you said you would be done in an hour?

i decided to wait for you-he said

i smiled and said

i'm horny....

thought you had a man he said

hes not here, is he? i asked

i get up and slide into his arms
i steer him into the meeting room-its d room u can see the doors from

i'm wet
hez hard
protection on and i straddle him...

Wednesday, February 18, 2015


Seen the series?
its nice shey?
the story line is fab, aiint it?
Omari's body is a work of art
that man can arch my back anyday
still not sure if its the series i love or the sex scenes

...long slow kisses...
my heart smiles when i feel him shudder

he doesn't state it much
i'm cumming...
i can feel him cum
but i love it best when he screams my name
well maybe not a scream
a growl..wink wink

i get a kick from seeing someone on the dining table or the couch
and knowing what we did/plan to do to the poor furniture
if only the inanimate objects in this home could speak
people wouldn't bother to visit us

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

I like me some him

He's cute

he's not cute like a kid but i do believe i'm older than he is

i seem to be older than everyone these days

well age has never bothered me

will it bother him?

He's light skinned

first time I've ever drooled over a light skinned dude

my tastes seems to be changing...

He's a great talker

I've always been that girl that loves to hear a man talk

i'm talkative so i don't need a man that will talk my ear off

i just mean a man who can hold a conversation intelligently

someone who can pronounce his words properly...

i do love a rich baritone but anything in between will suffice

just not a girly squeak...

He must like me too

he smiles when i bat my eyes at him,

he smiles when the timber of my voice goes down an octave when we talk

He gives another girl his attention

is that to keep me at arm's length or to get me to show my claws?

He has a gut

i like all of him

we can slide our guts over sweat drenched skin all day and night....

Father forgive me....

Sunday, September 21, 2014


lazy days...

movies, series....blissssss

eating on cue and pill popping

Lagos state and PHCN have put a damper on my days though...cos electricity and water have been scarce...

but the good news is...

my stitches itch........yay

Monday, September 8, 2014


Trying to suggestively tease someone by stroking their stomach and making them flinch uncontrollably because it turns out, rather than making them want to orgasm wildly, you’re putting them through sheer hell with your relentless tickling.

how y'all doing?
everyone staying safe?
ebola tinz?

so weird 

such a fast acting virus

i'm addicted to haribo
the happy cola type

my mates are addicted to caffeine or tobacco
i was addicted to caffeine a few years ago-broke it off when i triggered an ulcer attack
a baddddddddd one

so since then-I've kept my addictions simple
now all i have to worry about is pile or diabetes

oh and by the way
i may be a sex fiend but i'm not addicted to sex

need to see my dentist
i need an s&p
a refill and an extraction
all 3 procedures-same day

then no work for the 3 days it will take my gum to heal

need a vacay.....

i'll be back.....

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Hey y'all

its been so easy to not come here

weird isn't it?

also everyone seems to have disappeared from blogsville

or is it just me?

i'll be back in a week

take care peeps...........

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Happy New Year

its been 4 months.....how u all been?

i'm fabulous.....grateful for and loving life

glad about the way life is treating me
always hoping for better ....reaching out to better

so mum thinks, i should attend owanbe parties more

for some weird reason, that is where the husbands are: in her books

i have the best time when i'm wearing loose fitting tee and shorts

getting glammed up is so tiring....

parties aiint just my forte................owanbe or otherwise...

i have not stopped renewing my couch potato membership

flirting is fun aiint it?
weda said dude is forbidden or acceptable
just as fantasies are fun
weda we get to act them out or not

Dee got me a couple of books last year
richest man in babylon and rich dad poor dad which was fun to re-read
i must admit i spend money a whole lot faster than i make it
so it was his way of schooling me to get me out of owing my bank
i've been schooled but i still love my credit card....

thing is: him getting me those books reminded me i used to love reading
well its so easy to browse the net and just indulge in whatever is online these days
so i've gone back to walking into a bookshop, picking a book
taking my time-so it doesnt interfere with sex,work, home, exams
then getting another.....
someone suggested kindle...me thinks...maybe for my birthday.....

one weird thing about me
when i get mad...really mad...i can almost feel my blood boil
(cos i'm part wary i dont allow myself become hypertensive like my mum's siblings)
and cos the holy book praises those who control their anger
and cos i wont say sorry for things i say-so i never speak when i'm angry

i give you the evil eye, and walk away then i take a 20-30 minute stroll to calm down

even at work-same thing-i walk away

then when i'm calmer....we can talk.....

i dont allow myself get this angry often....
anyone who knows me knows when she gets mad-then its on

p:s-i'm opinionated
so if its a friendly argument-i'll argue till i get to a point....
then i'll say
that is ur opinion and u are entitled to it
and this is my opinion and i'm entitled to it
and thats that.
and no matter what you do or say after that
you shall not get a word from me on the matter.


Sunday, November 17, 2013



where you carry waka?
my people............. me sef I taya
I dey this gidi o
dey chase money up and down

how I for do?

life is good... we dey pray make e better
work is aiight...that can always be better too
sex is fabulous as always
my family is good...mum just keeps getting old people's illnesses

one day she's cold
another day-her chest hurts
next its her knee
then you always have to tell her again and again something you already told her
if I didn't know any better I would think she has pregnancy brain

its worse for me cos Dee has it too...pregnancy brain

I tell him something in the morning and by afternoon he's calling to ask me about it

all I can do is roll my eyes and wonder why my partner and my mum are growing old on me at the same time

its okay to talk to family isn't it?
my issue is I've always been a bad gossip-I'm also a terrible liar
I always always tell gossipee what we gossipers gossiped about in her/his absence

so the gossip got to me so I told gossipee what we had gossiped about without naming names
well she's has taken a stance and everyone concerned believes there's anger in the reaction
I on the other hand couldn't  care less
cos she did as we wanted/expected
weda the reaction was borne out of anger or of realisation doesn't affect my orgasm later tonight

Dee thinks I should  have held my piece
I told him she's family-she can agree or disagree or disagree to agree
after all that is said and done
it takes a village to raise a child
and we the village have spoken

gonna do my blog rounds now

cant say if I'll be back here tomorrow or next month or in another 8 months
but I'll be back


Sunday, June 30, 2013

titbits and a post to say bye bye to June

would be nice if I could fuck in an elevator

I never wanna try out a threesome-I'm not that wanton-and I don't wanna share

Dee we really should get naughty in a movie theatre one of these days-too bad naija cinemas don't show x rated movies-then we could go all out-yes dear I'll wear a short dress with no panties-but other peeps would wonder why I need to sit on your lap you know-wink

will sex ever get boring?- I hope not....

can I have a kid readymade at 5?.well, kids are a handful at age 0-5.....

I need a raise

gonna have to do an early post in July or 2 posts in August...........Ramadhan

why am I getting bald?...Dee says shave your hair off....he says it'll make me look younger....I'm not willing it take d risk...being growing my hair since I was born...see how long it is...if I cut it??? what will happen???

it rained ALL day in Lagos today....or was it just my hood???

I really hate people that beat about the bush

R.... I really didn't appreciate your feedback, you came off as you were trying to save face-you shouldn't have bothered...I don't really like you and its obvious the feeling is mutual...lets stay civil....we are after all only colleagues...we don't need to be friends

what is cracking the maid up on tv???

did kim really name her daughter north? and I cant believe how quiet her twitter handle has being since the birth of donda....

I used to be the girl who didn't have le petit mort with every sexual experience
I've had pretty amazing sex, earth shattering love making but it would not always culminate into an orgasm
I surfed the net and found women like me
sex was great-fun-fabulous but orgasms were few and far between

I've had previous lovers say their egos were smashed
and I've had to assure and reassure-I had mad fun-you made my world shake
please ignore the fact I didn't cum
its just me
that is the way I am wired

I don't cum as much as other women do
I would totally enjoy the sex but trying to achieve an orgasm would just make the sex mundane

so lets just have mad fun and ignore the fact that an orgasm didn't/wont happen for me

until Dee
he is some kinda sexual genius

not sure how he does it
not even sure its cos I love him cos its been dis way since before I fell in love

I remember an ex who could make me climax with a look
some other guy whose voice drove me mad and who.....I'll NEVER  forget that day and those O's
I've had some pretty amazing O's............just not from coitus

so my friend says he (Dee)is the one
he(friend) says marry him(Dee) before he slips outta your finger

I'm not worried

I don't worry about marriage and kids the way other people seem to

kids will happen when I want them to
I'll go off the pill and slowly get my eggs fertile again
and if that fails
I'll adopt

as for marriage.............
some day....I'll be ready

Belated May

I really have no excuses for may

i'm truly sorry peeps

I'll make up for it

so for some reason I'm not worked up about bba the chase

y'all know how I like my reality shows

I guess its because naija performed badly last year

ola and his pal went out too early and I refuse to speak ill of the dead

all I see is dem peeps should watch out for selly

dat girl is there for the moolah

as for stupid betty

continue enjoying yaself

I'm no hypocrite

I love sex

but I'm fabulously discreet

I've had my fair share of fuck-buddies ...one night stands and whatnots

so when a babe goes in to the big brother house and has sex with some random dude from another country she may never see again......

I know its entertainment for us

but I do have a problem with it cos its on camera for every one to assume or see

I'm a tad traditional about that

she may fuck every dude in the house so long as there is no proof.......wink

but when u go under the sheets.....we can all conclude girl....

so I know someone who tends to drop off her kid at her mum's on Sunday with the maid then picks up the tot Friday evenings

he's a handful

first and foremost---my issues is her mum is older hence handling a toddler is way more tiring for her-my opinion
and why drop him off for 5 days and nights a week?
she lives 10mins away from her mom

i think its bullshit
but if her mom is okay with it and cant/wont complain
dats fine

but i don't think its healthy that her kid is away from her 5nights a week

he's your kid -don't matter how much of a handful he is
he is your responsibility not your mum's

my two pence

ok I started this post before betty was evicted

seems shenanigans under the sheets aren't what its about

she and beau are both out

good riddance

oh and by the way-still on bba
selly has had her share of shenanigans under the sheets
is it just me or just nando just ignore her now???

did I ever tell you about the massive crush I used to have on banky w?

had a fling with some dude about that time and he could never make me cum

didn't matter what he did-I had to minister to myself to get off

I know I wasn't really into him

why did I have a physical relationship with him y'all are asking???

sometimes I get horny and my vibrator just doesn't cut it and if I'm not in a relationship I can get myself a fling

but I was soooooo into banky then

dude used to say -please think of him (banky) so you will cum

at least for once-it will be nice to have you (ibi) cum while I (dude)  am pumping away

needless to say -the fling fizzled away

dude still professes how I was the best thing between his sheets

but all I remember was some guy pumping away and me making a lotta noise just to get him to feel good about himself and cum and roll off me

mwah y'all

oh by the way I'm listening to R & BW as I type this
still love him
he's so fucking fine
but I've actually never fantasized about him
my fantasies are about Dee and Idris Elba

I've seen him walk past me (banky w) a couple of times at concerts and whatnots
and on every occasion I froze in my tracks
couldn't even work up a hello can I take a picture?

I like him
love his music
but I prefer to like/love him from he doesn't know Ibi exists land...................wink

Thursday, April 25, 2013


So in the spirit of a post a month

i'm here

how have you all been?

Dee has been lethargic all week
i say take your vitamins every morning

he says... will it work?

i say ...just try... and in a week if you still yawn after every sentence

we'll both know you are pregnant

we both lolled at that

i love kids even though i can only keep up with them for a couple of minutes
they soon tire me out and i need a chair to strap them in or a play pen to drop them into

i most definitely love kids who do enjoy their own company

sometimes i wonder how i'll cope when i eventually bring forth mine
then i remind myself

i'll have a live-in nanny and if my kid is anything like me...they will be pretty easy to manage

i wanna believe that mom wasnt trying to be patronising when she said i was a pretty easy child

so whew...looking forward to birthing children who shall stress me not...

everyone keeps reminding me
nectar is going sour.have them kids now

help me ask them if they will assist me with baby food,clothes,diapers,cost of a nanny...college fees etc

truth be told..i'm not emotionally and financially ready for a child...emphasis on emotionally

so i'll have a live-in nanny....where did i state: i wont be a hands-on mum?

as for being a fabulous wife that slaves in the kitchen?

i dont even like to eat

Dee tends to say.. i wanna eat ... then i'll say...lets go to the kitchen...i'll keep you company

does it matter who does what?

we eat and thats that

when ever he leaves it to me to decide when my body needs nourishment?

i end up not eating anything

well cos i tend to say

i'm not hungry Dee

so i snack on an apple, some grapes, maybe a mango...or some ice cream and tobleron
or some grilled chicken and french fires

He always says whatever happened to eba or amala or beans or rice or whatever

so...i'll say well if you are making it,i'll keep you company and we'll eat together

oh well...its great to be in love with a man who doesnt care who has what role

the rains are here
i hate the rains

always a chore to get to anywhere

bad water clogged roads
traffic dat drains the life blood outta you

oh dear

i cant wait for it all to end

i truly enjoy getting older
allows me to get away with a lotta crap
i tend to wave my birth certificate in people's noses

at my age...i'm entitled to a life
by my rules

especially cos i'm dependent on noone

i also enjoy being selfish half of the time

marriage and children will make me selfless

so i wanna enjoy my selfish years for as long as i can

truth be told

my parents did a bad job of the whole shingdig...i guess its one of the reasons i dont care for the institution

i guess...someday.....someone will change my mind and i'll be ready for the journey

until then......i love me alone..... a lot

p:s...i love you Dee.....

see y'all in May

Thursday, March 14, 2013


Hey Peeps

so i wonder... am i planning to stick to a post a month?
i did not set out to do this
but it will be regular wont it?
instead of a post every 7 months.......

So february was aiight
vals day was fun
lots of laffs at work

dry tables
full tables

i thorougly enjoyed darey's concert
i didnt go cos of kimmy
i watch her enuff on e!!!

a lot of peeps were disappointed by her 30 second hello
i couldnt care less....

Dare...that was fabulous...my opinion....

My gifts?

my thank you?


wink wink wink

you guys ever noticed how...if you savour the sex and dont fall over the cliff when you get the need to....
the orgasm is so much better when you eventually let yourself fall?

So boyf hates it when i say sex
he prefers to use the term love making

i could say fuck

really makes no difference

all i know is its fucking great......wide grin...chuckling...giggling....laffing

friend of mine has been searching for the fruit of the womb for about 5 years
says his wife is not letting them shag no more
she is disappointed in the whole process

i guess i can try to understand where she is coming from
but there are needs other than procreation for sex aiint it?

we whey never marry sha dey oil our engines
what is it with wifes who dont feel the need to oil theirs?

you lie in a bed beside a warm body every night...dont ya?
i totally get it...........noone does *it* every night
but married couples.......especially those without kids yet
since i know kids can tire you the fuck out...sometimes....there is not enuff energy in the body to get it up....

biko explain it to me
precious dick beside you and you dont feel the need to ride it?

and if you have ever wondered about my fav position... i just spilled

ibi loves to ride........yeehaw

i'll be back to tell una why we do it
after i marry
that is if i find myself in that rut

i'm not shy about taking what i want
if i'm ready to go and boyf is snoring

i wake him up with a bj and ride him till i'm spent
he can go back to sleep after that

so when i marry
if i go for months without sex and i truly dont feel the need to fuck

i'll come back here to yarn una

erm for those of you who may be wondering why i have this great sex life and i havent said anything about marriage
i can not tell you when i will marry yet because my oga at the top may change it.....lol

that clip is fucking hilarious

everytime i watch it ............it cracks me up

mwah peeps

i'll be back in April or i may surprise myself and be back before march fades...........

Saturday, February 2, 2013


hey Peeps

so its february again
peeps be getting all hot and bothered
what will i get for him ?
what will i get from him?

do i spend a little or a lot?

do i cook him a meal?
send him a meal?
take him out to dinner?

oh well......

i only know

soon it will be feb 15th and peace will reign again

if its any consolation

most people dont have aids on world's aids day

so if you are val-less on valentine's day?

life will go on......

look out for them concerts though,who knows a lonely soul may be lurking

erm but please watch out for murderers,rapists,thugs,thieves...they are out their lurking too

always sad to hear when fab teams break up
the whizkid saga

but alas

change is the only constant thing in life

Monday, December 31, 2012

Ibi in 2013

hey peeps

so we all make new year resolutions?

i never do

but Jan 2012 i set one goal for Ibi

just one

really proud of me....

i sucessfully achieved it

2012 was a good year

i have decided to set just one goal for 2013

i'll let you all know in a year if i sucessfully achieve it

as for my mum---she needs a son in law...good thing is, she has learnt he will come...patience..His time is never late

my friends---they need for Ibi to own a car...my money never complete,na by force?...my old truck showed me...and i refuse to buy a car i can only drive with the aid of a throw pillow

my father---he probably needs to get his wife pregnant...oh by the way,i oddly have no hard feelings towards the newly weds...i just dont feel the need to be friendly with his model(na so he talk am-i married a model)...she's 5 yrs older than Ibi-definitely too young to be my stepmum,she's my father's wife-plain and simple...anyone that knows her should advice her..the only children of my father who wish to enjoy her motherhood are the ones she'll bear him...QED

i dont pay for sex

fab news dat you wont pay for it

personally i dont think there should be an exchange of money for sex

you are horny,he is horny...fuck him,let him fuck you and dat is dat

my cousin's take...is with regards married boos

you are married...your pussy dey house

what is wrong with it?

is it loose,cold,worn out,is the baby's head blocking the vaginal canal?

please explain to me why you wont pay me to fuck me na?

as you come my house come carry me say make we go catch up over drinks
come carry me go suites say make you massage me....

help me ask him

did i complain of weary muscles?
did he become a masseur in the couple of months we lost touch?

Ubongda and i were gisting and he has requested i tell her that asking for money wont put every guy off

she loled and said so far it has been foolproof

Ibi's take?

there is always an underlying reason to why men cheat

his wife has changed or he married the wrong woman.....akuko
she doesnt watch porn with him no more
she doesnt give head no more
she is away a lot
she is tired a lot
she wont try new things with him
she spends way too much money
she isnt bringing up the kids the way he wants
she doesnt have a good handle on her staff-domestic or otherwise
she exasperates him
she dis
she dat

he always goes back home to her

if he is not afraid of his wife...good for you

wife number 2 title awaits you or at least you are a kept woman: a mistress

if he is scared of his wife....you are OYO

Rita Dominic-i loved you in The meeting

i hated the concept of you in streets of calabar

Phoneswap.....i loved every minute of it

Dr Bello?....isaiah-why did you come to naija for such a silly script?

A wish....some good laffs....and sometimes i just wanted to bitchslap Umoh and Kemi's father

I lift my glass to you all...to a year filled with the Good Lord's unending blessings and mercy...

Friday, October 12, 2012


So i've been away how many months?
i've lost count meself

Ibiluv turned 5 on the 31st of May
and for some reason i was too lazy to come here to celebrate

then i turned 34 on the 7th of October
and was too lazy to come here as well.......

i forgot about sex for the month of ramadhan

i've since remembered sex, but i dont have gist about any sexcapades......

Ibi!!!!!!!!!!! where is your mojo??????

My closest pal felt the need to let her hair down a couple of weeks ago and we
hooked up with some pals whilst dancing

after everyone was kinda spent on the dance floor

we went off to a strip joint

we had her younger bro and his babe in our entourage

the girl froze in her tracks and must have begged every angel in heaven to get her outta there

she gave us.....my pal and i, an attitude the next day

and her boyf came to say she was mighty angry she had to experience that and she assumed our male friends who took us along had dishonourable intentions

i laughed so hard cos i couldnt understand how going to a strip joint with pals had anything to do with honourable or dishonourable intentions

i dont need a man to lead me on a merry go round if he wants sum

same as i wont go on a merry go round with anyone if i want sum

reminds me how it was drummed into my ears growing up that you can never pick up a boyf or future hubby at a club

i'm not so sure i agree with that analogy

i hardly do any picking up at the club anyways

its just crazy that if i dump a guy in the friend zone.......there shall he stay

but if a guy find himself in the too hawt to resist zone....its hard to get him outta there

so for every ex whom i never succumbed to.........

its either of two things

you hurt me real bad


sex with you?????

...i dont feel the need to relive

cant relive it cos you are off limits

or cant relive it cos current beau does a better job than you ever did....wink

so is it wrong to hang out with a married pal?
say a group of friends share a meal and sweat (dancing)

seeing that he's leaving the club and heading home to his wife
i have no qualms about sharing sweat with a married pal
but if you think i was dancing too close????

no be me bring ur man come club o

and if you are married to him and you dont have kids below 10
but you let him go clubbing alone.....no comment

we will dance close to him o
and we will grind against him with our assets sef

dont worry..........

we are only getting him hot and bothered enuff to come home to give you a little sumthing sumthing.........

mwah y'all

Ibi is back!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, May 27, 2012

reality shows.....grandmas....3 wishes

Anyone who comes here

knows i love my reality tv shows

Sad Joshua didn't win idol but i loved the finale
2 hours of fabulous singing

i'm looking forward to a Joshua/Fantasia duet
a Josh album
a Skylar album
a Jessica album

please don't disappoint me people......

Ice and Coco?
love them

Khloe and Lamar?
love them

wont be caught dead watching it


i miss Ola and Chris

Now that maneta and zainab are in upville
i no longer watch downville



stop disgracing me

woman talk to you
instead make you reply
you go cry

man talk to you
instead make you reply
you go cry

parry dey house

instead make you dance

you go gum body for prezzo side

you dey gum body for him side
when he touch you
you go dey do like virgin


PLEASE come back home to make music

i met you briefly at champagne conversations and i was glad i did

as of now
you dey fall my hand

please nominate yourself and come home


because the girl in your videos and the wimp in bba are 2 different people

my colleague says you went into the house to find a husband

since you have found him

please come home


a pal of mine recently got married
she insists she needs help
she wants her mum around

in my place...........its the mother in law that gets to stay

hubby has told his mum to stay away-he thinks both mums don't need to stay

she on the other hand has re-invited her mother to stay

i say she is being stupid

cos if you ask me...its not like she needs help

she is just being lazy and doesn't yet understand that she is married

she wants her mum around her

i love my mum but i wont want her hovering around when i have a baby-my mama is too busy/funky to hover sef

she can go live with my brother(s)

and if my mother in law turns out to be like my friend's
i would love her for dat

pop in for a day or 2 to help
disappear for 4 days to a week.........rather than have her over 24/7 for my 3 months maternity leave

i said my piece when everyone did
which led to both mothers leaving

now dat she has re-invited her mother

i wont say a word

abegggiiiiiiiiiiiiii-before dey will ask me-wetin my own?
as i never marry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need a genie-3 wishes

i need a wardrobe change

i need a holiday

i need for my new boss to be offered a job at Chevron

Thursday, April 12, 2012


after being confronted a couple of times by Dee and denying it...
i made an effort to listen to myself and i was shocked.....kinda
to find out my soundtrack is.......a tad religious
i've always thought and insisted...i am a moaner
but to find out i call on HIM....

erm erm Deee...u bad boyyyyyyyy...see what you make me doooooooo

ohhh and soundtracking in a local dialect during sex always sounds ludicrous
i've heard it...and i found it hilarious and no it wasnt Dee

i can be a tease and i do enjoy attention
but i wish small men could read my mind and leave me the fuck alone
i do not wish to measure height with(fuck) my twin(i dont have one)
if you are only about 2 cms taller than Ibi

been mad busy at work lately
oddly enuff i'm happiest if i've got a shitload of work to do
it makes playing much more fun when i get off work

do y'all remember my boss?
the one i wanted to kill?
naija jazz finally got to him
we are no longer alllowed into his office in his absence
and he carries *holy* water around now
which he periodically sprinkles on everyting in his office
apparently hez leaving us in a couple of months
some cocksuckers feigned sadness
i kept a straight face
well.......cos smiling or laffing out loud woud have been u know.....bad

1 more person Lord........that jazz needs to get to
ironically its not cruella
which ever doc is treating her at yaba left now
is doing a good job
shez sane 4 and a half days a week

crazy when Dee is miles away and i'm horny as a bitch
darn it..........I AM A BITCH ON HEAT
loads of cyber sex,online porn and dirty pictures
and darling mr b to the rescue
mr b? my vibrator.....wink

so its 520am now and btw 10pm when i got home and now
i've listened to a couple of movies(i wasnt paying attention)
whilst bantering with Dee and letting the porn vids download
i've also added a new stash to my collection of naughty pictures
and cummmmm a couple of times..........i wasnt counting
i have dinner half eaten-yes dinner dat late cos i skipped lunch
but its time to get up and get ready for work
erm i forgot to sleep.......

Dee......my appetite has been messed up lately-not sure y
i'm gonna get me some vits-i've lost a kilo or 2
loosing kilos isnt acceptable oooooo

Ubong sebi u know i'm talking about ya friend
hmmmmmmmm i have gist for you
lets discuss this away from blogspot

ciao people!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, February 19, 2012


met a good looking guy a while back at work

we flirted on the fone a couple of times

i may have fantasised about straddling him-wink

but guy has gone underground............i'm 6 years older

i miss the flirting though

i'm sooooooooooooooo loving Adele right now

Sad about Whitney
tired of all the hate directed at Bobby
we all make our own way in life
i pray she found peace with God before going under

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Birthday Cards

I used to really appreciate them........birthday cards
i love words
it takes me forever to form them
cos i never take words for granted

i've always been a note writer
i'll write a note/text/mail to my boss,colleague,subordinate
rather than call/or walk up to a person

words can be beautiful
leave you happy even when you are penniless
just like a great big bear hug practically cures depression

the best words???
those left unsaid

2 days ago
bad head space
everything was work related
and to cap it ...i was bone tired and hungry
i was dragging myself to get brunch when a pal walked up to me and without a word gave me a hug
it was so sweet of him to do that
ibi i hate it when you look forlorn
what is wrong?
this place i said
we laughed.....

Cruella has been a good girl lately
but cos evil never completely erodes
her evil side showed up last week
3 days of ignoring her and shes back to being sane

its my other boss....he, i would love to poison

the job is fyne-i love it
the pay sucks..........
my colleagues-fun people
my boss.........i hope he drops dead

back to words..........

i honestly cant remember the last time i went off to buy one
i cant be bothered anymore to find a meaningful card
a text message- a bbm display picture-a bbm-a voice note
all of that and more will do it
why buy cardboard that will eventually be used to pack dirt?????

oh and by the way-a birthday gift will show just how much you care
the more useful it is to the person the more meaningful

so out with birthday cards...in with...gifts
cash gifts?
always a pleasure

Thursday, October 20, 2011

do we really ever know anyone or ourselves?

sometimes i wonder if i am being truthful when i say i am

not sad,not lonely,not angry,or that i am happy

whilst i agree that happiness is a choice

i do know that sometimes being happy or getting

to the frame of mind of being happy is/can be a chore

i have legendary mood swings

one minute i am sad

the next minute i am happy

it doesnt matter if its home/office/play

when my mood changes i just wanna be left alone

sometimes i dont even know why i'm suddenly sad/upset

so i let it simmer for a few minutes then internalise

and find what triggered it

usually i am able to find what it is and deal with it

if i care about a person/thing
i bother about her/him/it
i involve myself in their life
be it in a little way or a big way
a call/a text/an email
if i can drag myself to visit.........
i must love you

that is because i only need people in small doses

i spent a lot of time growing up by myself
so i'm used to entertaining me
i've never been bored in my life
i'm pretty sure it will never happen
i'm also quite able to create new worlds in my head
worlds i wanna live in
afterall dreams come true
i'm also adept at doing nothing.....my favourite past time

i'm sensing they think its jealousy
maybe even envy
its actually anger

i'm the chatter box
in someone's company so long as there is no tv
i'll entertain you
i talk a lotttttttttttt
most of my stories are about me

i'm not a good gossip
cos i tend to confess to the victim
so hardly would you catch me gossiping

why am i angry?
its not like i think its anyone's fault
its one thing for me to like being by myself
its another thing to be excluded

now that i no longer wish to be included
they are coming at me with the snide remarks
jealousy,envy,sadness they say

i say-go jump over the third mainland bridge please

i'm upset at work peeps
every single one of them forgot my birthday
i made a fuss to a select few
some reverted with a genuine apology
someone in particular seemed to shrug me off

i'm vindictive enuff to do same to her in 2012
oh and dat goes to everyone in my life

its the one day in my life that i will exercise
my God given right as a woman to invent and establish drama

oh and another thing............
i treat people the way they treat me

Sunday, October 9, 2011

did i fare better?

i've had a very bad case of blogger's block
i've also been incredibly lazy

but i did promise i'll be back
and i always do a birthday post

so i was a year older on the 7th
afrobabe i love you
*cyber hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

i tend to get a little melancholic on my birthdays
so to make up for the shitty head space i knew i was gonna get into
i was supposed to hang out with the girls after work
and it was a friday but the rain was a bitch

so we didnt have girls nite out
dinner someplace
get tipsy
flirt shamelessly
dance like crazy and tumble into bed in the morning

so we had a lazy saturday instead
we shopped-meat,veggies and condiments for edikaikong
ran into my aunt
2 yrs older but technically my aunt
harrassed her kidz(i love em kidz)
had dinner
and laffed so hard i almost peed in my pants
i love you girls

i temporarily moved to my aunt's since july
construction at my zone is driving me nuts
she doesnt get it apparently that i love my own space
she keeps asking me what is wrong
then goes into a prayer session
cos my cousin(her daughter) who i am a year older than
is getting married in nov

i dont have a jealous bone in my body
and i only envy people what they have that i wish i had

i wish her mum got it
but then again if i was to explain it to her the way it really is
it would only be read as jealousy or envy
since it is neither-she(my aunt) will have to get used to my smiles and the sealed lips
i'm wondering why she hasnt brought it up with my mum
well cos my mum hasnt asked me
even though my mum gets it
well if she does-i'm guessing my mum will tell her to ignore it
mum calls it-the curse of my dad's family
we internalise and shut everyone out
people think it is cos we are bothered about something
but the harsh truth is its cos we really dont care

my brother is well
has a new girl on his hands
i dont particularly like her
i dont consider her cute/curvy/nice
and i dont like girls who live in filth with their squeeze
especially cos i have to witness the filth
i still breeze into my place anyday i wanna
well,i harrassed her 2 wks ago
so far she seems to have imbibed the clean space rule

you hurt me......bad
I need a proper apology
jewelry always works i hear
but do remember to ask me before you splurge on an item i'll detest
cos i'm still very upset with you
i'm gonna let you deal with your stuff
cos i get it............
but you owe me.........

so my colleague has been advised to get a vibrator
i've tried to get her to surf the web
and maybe make a purchase but she keeps dilly dallying
with my man outta town a lot
life would be almost unbearable if i didnt own one
i know a vibrator wont take the place of a warm body
but it can take the edge of animalistic tendencies

a friend of mine seems to be avoiding me/us
i guess its cos lately all we do is berate her
well its like this
if you must date more than 1 married guy
please make it about the money
no sense in hoping from one bed to another for a meal and a drink
well maybe........some lousy thousands

cos apparently shez been sleeping with 2 married guys
(mayb more)
and she gets pregnant
does she
a-ask them to accompany her on the same day or on different dayz?
b-get the fundz from both possible fathers but go fix it alone?
c-fix it then bill the fathers heavily?
d-fix it then bill then what the doctor billed her?

kindly note i think shez an ass-
dating 2 or more men that are off limits to you is bullshit
actually allow both of them to sperminate you is stupid
then to get fertilized was downright idiotic
but to then decide to be cautious about billing them?
i thot.....silly

to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction
if you wanna sperminate you have to worry about fertilization
not so?

I owe y'all a post shey?

i'll b back

Monday, May 30, 2011

Ibiluv is 4 years old today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yippieeeeeeeeeeeee

She loved her beach house. It wasn’t only the serenity she craved it was also the sight and sound of the ocean. Also knowing she just upped and left everyone-her job, her friends and family just gives her inner devil a lotta joy-the minute she got in-she took a shower and had a meal-God bless her housekeeper-now it was tyme to settle down for a lovely story
It was sunset and she could no longer read by sunlight, her glass of lemonade stood empty on the floor beside the chaise lounge she had been reclining on-she had heard him drive in a while ago-she knew he would need to go to his study to do some work before joining her upstairs..

Lost in her thoughts she heard a sound behind her…..there he stood…her adonis…this man had to have been a greek god in another life…beautifully sculpted…people tell her all the time how fabulous she looks..she always wishes she could retort wait till you see my man….

Wordz were not needed…her body always reacted when ever his was close…and he could always tell-even in the midst of an argument, they both could still cut the sexual tension in the air with a knife….it didn’t help that she only had on her lingerie…..a slinky number in the softest pink and he could see every inch of that body he loved so much..he had a smirk on his face cos already he could see her nipples hardening…

She stood where she was..her back to the sea..listening to the sounds..he walked towards her…when he got to her-he enveloped her in a bear hug…this was one of the reasons she loved this man…fitting into his arms like this always felt so right….she went on her knees and slowly flicked her tongue over the tip…..he made it to pre cum in a matter of mins…slowly she trailed her fingers down his legs whilst giving her tongue the liberty to roam freely along his shaft

He had his hand on her head, her hair..he wasn’t tugging or shoving..just resting his hand there…she smirked cos she knew for him it was some way to balance himself so he wouldn’t topple over…over and over again she licked, sucked and worshipped his family jewels….she wasn’t even sure how they made it to the chaise but he was gently laying her on it and proceeded to plant feathery kisses on her inner thighs..after what seemed like aeons..he kissed her...long and slow and slipped his digits into her…she loved how he managed to do both…kissing him was always a joy. The fusion of their pie holes always drove her completely nuts…and his digits???…glorious and they always served as a reminder of what was to come…

She whispered..you are driving me nuts. Could you please fuck me now? I will he said…he turned her over and with the slightest of motions stationed dat lovely appendage by her labia lips-she gasped..just the feel-nothing else yet…but she was dripping buckets and dat was all the encouragement he needed..slowly ever so slow he inched into her…felt like he was going in in millimeters….and then he filled her…and there they were…naked with the salty air swishing around them kneeling by the chaise as he proceeded to make love to her….

It was glorious and earth shattering…much later as they lay spent...she listened to both their heart beats as normalcy returned...the kiss to her forehead was the last thing she remembered before she drifted off to la la land..

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Should I fix you a drink too?

‘Should I fix you a drink too?’

he asked as he set down his backpack on the bed, shrugging out of his shirt as he walked to the mini-bar in the room.

‘Yes honey, thanks’ she said as she typed away furiously at her laptop keyboard, wanting to finish the report and email it so she could relax fully and enjoy her weekend with her lover.

She had been looking forward to this time alone with him for a while, and her boss dumping an overdue report on her late on Friday was quite the mood dampener but after hearing his deep, drawling voice on the phone saying he was leaving the airport...that made her, perk up.

She was startled by the touch of a cold glass on the back of her neck, she had been so engrossed in her work she didn’t realize when he came up behind her. ‘What are you working on?’ ‘it’s a damned report my boss insists must be sent today’ she says as she placed a hand over his warm, calloused one that was kneading the muscles of her shoulder. ‘Aahh, that feels so good’ she says… He hands her drink to her, at the same time bending over her and placing a kiss on her forehead like a father would on his daughter. ‘take it easy babe, you’re all tensed up’ he breathes in her ear.

The familiar smell of him suddenly makes her nerve endings tingle as she inhales the mix of aftershave, the musky cologne he favours and sweat of travel that wafts off him. She realizes how much she had missed him being with her and suddenly ignored her computer, turning in her chair, she grabs him by the waist. ‘I missed you baby’ she murmurs into his belly, the soft hair around his navel tickling her lips as she speaks.

His reaction is instant, his loins tighten up as her soft, warm arms encircle him. He leans down over her, rubbing down her back through the sheer material of the work shirt she has on.. pulling the shirt out of her skirt, finding her skin beneath and working his thick, hard fingers into her muscles. She sighs in pure pleasure, writhing under his touch as she feels herself relaxing.

He straightens up, picking his glass from the table and sipping on his drink, pulling her up by the arm as he does. She gets into his arms, face turned up as he envelopes her in a deep,fiercely passionate kiss. She can feel the hunger for her in him and that knowledge makes her both excited and scared at the same time. Excited that she holds such an attraction for him and scared that she may lose him at some time. He lives and works in another part of the country as an engineer, always on the road, sleeping in different hotels in different towns… and surely meeting lots of different women.

She feels his breath get deep and fast, the taste of brandy in his mouth mixing with hers as both their tongues entwine. Her nipples are so sensitive; they are almost painfully squeezed against his chest. His hands slip lower, cupping her round bottom in a gentle squeeze. He lifts her off her feet while still kissing her, and lays her on the bed. His eyes are locked on to hers, boring a hole deep into her soul as he gets up and removes his jeans, then his boxers. He doesn’t say a word and does not break eye contact while he walks to the window and opens it.

There is a sudden, moist and cold breeze from the rain outside in the room. With the curtains billowing behind him, she watches him stalk back to the bed like a panther, his erection proudly displayed to her lustful gaze.

She licks her lips, smiling at him while feeling the molten heat well up from inside her core. She starts to unbutton her shirt but he stops her with a hand. Gently but firmly pushing her down on to the bed, he grabs her glass and gulps some her drink, then he leans over her and kisses her again. As her lips open she feels her drink trickling down into her mouth from his. He hadn’t swallowed, just used his mouth to serve her. He has deftly shed her buttons while kissing her, now he slides his hand underneath her and unclips her bra. Her proud breasts feel the heat of his hands and the coolness of the breeze coming through the open window. It is such a delicious feeling.

Her hands rake through his hair as he lowers his lips to her nipple, biting and sucking hard while his hands slide under her skirt and hooks on the waistband of her panties. She raises her hips to help him ease them off, watching his eyes look down her skirt as she raises her legs to kick off the panties. He smiles and rubs a hand lazily across her chest, palm flat over her breasts, fingers teasing her neck and chin. His other hand he cups firmly over her mound, the heel of his hand making hard contact with her clit as his finger teases her wet slit. He’s not going inside, just gliding his finger over her lips enough to open them, circling round her opening and making her groan with the need to have any part of him inside her.

Her arousal is very evident now in the rich scent of her feminine musk which he inhales rather dramatically. She knows he’s teasing her, she sees that look of intense concentration on his face she knows is a sign of his arousal. His gaze never leaves the moist morsel between her thighs as he lifts his glass to his lips, drinks and bends his head to her sex. His hands push her skirt up to her waist as he spreads her legs wide, she is wide open to his view and intentions now. She shudders as she feels his breath over her engorged clit, then the exquisite pleasure of his tongue, which is cold from the drink and warm as he licks in slow, circular motions around her clit. He does not touch her anywhere else… yet.

She clutches at the sheet as he abruptly plunges his tongue into her slick tunnel in the same motion that he uses his hands to raise her hips.
Her sensual, thrusting motion makes her clit contact against his nose as she fucks his tongue. She can feel her orgasm coming up quickly. He’s a master at working his tongue sinuously inside her, bringing it up to suck on her clit. Now he has 2 fingers deep inside her while her clit is being strummed by his tongue. She’s moaning deep in her throat and bucking under his face like a wild horse. She starts to drum her feet on his back as she climaxes, holding his head tight against her dripping wet sex. His name is spinning on her mind as she lies breathless in the afterglow of the intense orgasm. He brings his head up, breathing deep, looking at her with lust filled eyes, his lips glistening with her juice.

He smirks at her effort to regain balance and says ‘I missed you too babe’… She smiles and pulls him to her, licking his lips, nose, eyes.. tasting herself mixed with him, instantly getting a high from that. She says ‘I know honey, I know’. Her hands are both stroking his hot hardness and his soft sac as she kisses him. She scrapes a fingernail over his glans and gets the reaction she wants from him. A sharp intake of breath, then a long drawn out sigh of pleasure as she takes him in her mouth.. takes him as deep as she can. He’s big and stretches her lips but she loves sucking him. She’s got saliva coating him and her movements are smooth and sensual, fucking him with her mouth just as she fucked his mouth earlier. She’s good at this and knows exactly how to bring him to a load...moaning her name in the process... She wants to taste his seed and drink it greedily but he’s not having that.

He held her head to stop her, moaning ‘I don’t want to cum yet baby, I need to be inside you’. The naked need in his voice makes her cream her pussy even more. So she gets on her knees and he gets behind her, the penetration is fast and hard but not painful. She is well lubricated but feels the immense size of him filling her up, pushing against her womb. The connection is deep and erotic, the sound of his balls slapping against her as he thrusts deep into her are adding to her excitement. He’s groaning deeply and she knows he will unleash his thick cream into her very soon. His hands grab her breasts like the reins of a horse he’s riding….. and he is riding her, hard, deep, furiously. She feels a throbbing inside her that emanates from his magnificent dick buried deep inside her, his belly on her soft butt.

He starts to rub her clit with a hand in time with his thrusts, which are getting quicker. He’s close to losing control now. She arches her back, raising her bottom up and presenting him a deeper angle of penetration. Though it’s a bit painful, she revels in the sex she’s giving him and urges him on with her voice ‘fuck me baby, fuck me hard… who’s ur sweet baby?’ he responds with a furious, grunting assault on her body that rocks him to an explosive climax, which makes him give short, choked off cries as he cums deep inside her. She feels the heavy gush of warm, male seed flooding her insides and that triggers another orgasm for her, clenching her butt cheeks and pulsing the walls of her tight pussy to milk every drop from him.

He’s dripping with sweat and breathing hard against her back. She bears his weight on her as her hands and knees tremble from the shared orgasms. ‘welcome home baby’ she murmured.....

Sunday, March 13, 2011

hurt,naija idol,naija sings,how far?,lottery,VP's,career-dislike,escorts,

so sometimes it crosses our minds.....
not to be as we are in the presence of those we love
because sometimes they judge us harshly
i guess we are all human
and when a person strips himself/herself so you see dem as they are
you really should be more grateful that hurtful
and if they are no longer toeing that line
dont sing dat broken record of you shouldnt have
said person already made a platinum album out of said phrase for self

people sometimes react a certain way about who you were or who you are
and in the person's reaction.....the person hurts you
whether they know it or not
a lot of times i'm slow to comment...
slow to react...
slow to do just about everything in my life
cos i hate being wrong
and i only ever regret the things i didnt have the guts to do or say
there is nothing in my past i am ashamed of
i may shield some parts of me from certain people
but allowing a person(s) see me
as i am
is a really big deal
so when i am then judged by that person
it hurts.......deep
ironically......said person may not even know they hurt me
but they will............they will
cos someday i will bring it up and they will know just how bad
dat laff
that smirk
dat harsh word
dat ungiven hug.............hurt

i am looooovvvvviiinnnnggggggg Naomi Mac
she's soooooooooo breathtaking
602 to 34365
abeg make una vote jare
maybe una go win motor
chei this kind free advert
Naomi u owe me ooooooooo

i was for the brothers to win Naija sings
i was miffed Casey won
but his single is not bad

and have you heard Tonii-idol evictee's new singles?

i like............a lot

as for american idol
i have not really heard dem all
but Scott can propose to me anytyme
such a voice........swoooonnnnnnn
and he's 16

Naima is cute....she is doll like
i liked her umbrella rendition
albeit pitchy.....
i hope she gets better

and Pia has pipes.........
its hard to do a celine,aguilera,whitney and maria
and she did celine so well..........

so a person has a problem
eg she needs a car
everytyme you see said person you ask how far?
the need to buy the car...is your need to see her in a car greater than her need to own one?????

note to married friends of single people
dont ask your single pal *every time* you see/call/write/mail/bbm/tweet said person
how far?
is getting married....the same as choosing what gown to wear to what dinner party???

i dont ask you how far?
with when you plan to have number 2
or when you plan to move out of your rented apartment into your own home
or some other silly question
if a person is single and you have not magically produced a spouse suitable to that person
stop *how faring* them

later you will complain they dont vist
how dem go visit?
all you will do is how far dem and moreover did getting married somehow suggest to you that your single friend is the jobless one that must come visit you always?
dem gum ya own yansh for ur house?

we ask God how far all the tyme
He always replies............soon

dats good enuff for me/we/us

you people should stop how farring us

if i have not seen you in 8 years and you ask me,how far?
i get it........you are catching up

if you saw me yesterday and ask me how far
i'll poison your drink

i'm depressed..........
i want to win a lottery
there's none going on at the moment...or is there?
please when you hear of a lottery
make una let me know
i love the things money can buy
so i really really like money
but i dont love money
else i would have......let me keep my evil thots to myself
i wont do anything to get it(Money)
but i would love to win the ottery

yes i know...........a lazy man's dream
i never lied about being lazy..........

i watched the vice presidential debate and i wonder why Sambo went to cause traffic from the airport to abeokuta instead of facing his peers
in btw i have a distant uncle as a vp aspirant
so make una no try me
ibi will soon be in aso rock as the vice president's official speech writer

i've been thinking of a change of career a lot lately
i havent really done anything about it......yet
let me just roll it in my head for a bit longer
i may take the plunge soon

i seem to have developed a considerable amount of dislike for my boss
no not Cruella
me and her are cool these days
its the big dawg
he smiles a lot and just talks/acts damn rite nasty
he has also perfected the act of lieing thru his teeth
these days all i wanna do is slap the idiot

i prefer nasty people with dour expressions
but an always smiling fuck????.........he makes me cringe

in part he is one of the reasons i wanna leave
i don tire to dey see him face

found this online
a pal of mine wants to know if there is a site that caters to women as well
let us know............

Sunday, February 13, 2011

rude,iron,crib,mum,fat,house,eyes only

She's in the living room
explaining every scene of the movie as if my brother is deaf and blind
i would love to shut her up
but wetin concern me
i guess i'm just irritated cos she didnt notice big sister Ibi and greet
the dumb spawn of my mother didnt greet either
so is it her fault?

i don enter my room....lock my door
i will punish him for said crime later....

in between
i truly am an evil sister.....
in the last year
2 steam irons have found their way to the scrap yard
i dont trust my brother
things electrical always go bad around him

its exasperating cos the asswipe has a degree in electrical electronics from an obodo oyibo university

you people should sha tell him

i have replaced gen,pumping machine,fan,iron,since he rolled into town
i will castrate him if anything happens to my kettle,fridge and microwave

oh...hehehehehe i recently bought a new iron and i am hiding it in my room

went to say hi to my pal at her place
nice crib
really nice

i'm not speaking to my mum
matter of fact i think she owes me an apology
the way it happens-when we both get upset
we dont talk for 2 weeks
thats like her limit
then her eldest sister calls and mandates me to call mum and apologise

this tyme i will also demand my own apology

if she wont give it

i prefer to stay dis-daughtered

i wonder why birthing me gives her the right to dole out shit to me and i am expected to lap it up

this text message whey she send to me dat day ehn(whey dey vex mi)
i will make her apologise for it o
either directly or indirectly.......

all these fat in my belle(2inches of fat)
please go to my bum
neither I nor Dee likes dis belly fat
we both prefer yansh fat
truth be told
na me dey find yansh fat
he loves Ibi's ass as it is
and considering i gained a few kg's recently
ibi's ass is looking gud!!!!!!!!!!!
crunches here i come.....

so Dee teased me about not registering for bba6
are you worried i may be worried about you getting horny and fucking some dude in the house he asked
my job i said
not a gud enuff excuse he said....
i know you Ibi
kisses and mayb blowjobs is as far as you will go
i grinned.....

got me wondering though...if i really went into the house
would i stay unfucked by anoda cos Dee might watch/hear
or cos Mama Ibi might watch/hear
quite frankly Dee-much as i love you and we both know i will stay unfucked in the house(if i enter)cos i love love love making love to/with you...
its the mama Ibi situation dat will keep my pants up
cos if i stray i know you will forgive me
she wont............

some outfits i buy
just to wear for Dee
if its really short and its not a pair of shorts
its just for Dee's eyes
if i've got mi boobs spilling out
its just for Dee's eyes

i recently allowed Akin talk me into these 2 gowns
both short
but.....not too short
a little more than i would normally do............
but i find that i'm looking forward to getting my sexy self into them clothes and getting *toasted*

Monday, January 24, 2011

sex...candidate...24 vs 33...omoluabi...mirror...yellow...my girls

you walk into a room looking and smelling like sex
if an ex was there......
would it *all* be about him?
or are you just allowing yourself enjoy the shark frenzy?
especially since boyf is home with a fever?
i guess it's a little bit of everything........

and then when he(the ex) walks up to you to say
you look good.......
you flutter your lashes and say
i know

30 mins later he sends you an email
had to leave....you were giving me a woody..........


and so my brother thinks i am a good candidate for bba6
i kinda think i would make interesting tv
but i guess if i ever went for bba
my mum would disown me
Ibi would forget the cameras
while i may not be the slut everyone hates but loves to watch
my mother wont forgive me the kisses i would steal.......wink

when i was 16
i told myself i wanted to get married at 24 to a man who is 33
i still prefer my men way older than me.....
mostly because older men know their own mind
.......a man has to be very sure of himself to handle ibi

younger men mostly irritate me
yea i like to say exasperate
but i'm mostly irritated

i turn 33 in a couple of months so if i am still hunting down
my perect age gap-he would be 42......
hence he must be married with kids...best case scenario widowed
cos the other options are divorced or seperated

so am i trying to snatch,share someone's father and claim him as my baby?
my uncle got married 3 months ago
at 44 he was very single-never married-no kids
so if Baba Loke wants to grant my wish for an older man
he's out there.........

but if he thinks i am best suited to a 35,37,39 year old
i'll take him
i dont care for labels
i'll even take a 25 year old

so HO told my pal that when we dated i didnt give a damn
so i sent him a lengthy email
met him at my Aunt's christmas party
one of the first things he told me was........
i dont drink....i dont smoke cos i am badddddd enuff without these vices
then he goes on to say
you know how people say omoluabi
i am omo without the luabi
which loosely translates to i am the baddest motherfucker you can lay your eyes on
my Aunt scolded,threatened,quarrelled with me over the thing we had relationship friends with benefits...fuckbuddies
but I had found out by then that the sex was great
and Ibi remembered that was *all* he put on the table
it was all i had to give as well

its been 9 years we were an item and he says
i didnt give a damn

i didnt

i mirror the men in my life

you give a damn-i will
you treat me like dirt-i will return the favour
before i kick ye to the kurb

my brother pulls his weight around the flat
i will cook him meals
he doesnt.........he starves

my father actually foots *a* bill
i will run my ass ragged when he sends me on errands
as he never does-i dont run errands

the man in my life gives a shit-i will
he acts like an ass-i will return the favour

hey Ubong....our friend is yellow

i'm slighty depressed at some shit that went down at work
i'm most upset with self cos i see now what i should have done to avert the shit hitting the fan

i dont wear my emotions on my face or sleeve but it slowly trickles into everything i touch

and my support group isnt doing much to get me out of this rabbit hole i have fallen into

been a while i updated
needed to vent....

i'm due for a day/nite out with my girls

calling them up now

we'll insult each other...tease each other mercilessly,laff and cry together and they'll give me the comfort i'm currently craving....

be back soon peeps...........wink

Sunday, December 5, 2010


So my cousin is in town for a couple of weeks
after 9 years in the states
so we decided to treat him to a nite out on the town
na so i carry my tired bones and got
into some short shorts and 6 inch heels
even my best pal asked how i was gonna dance in them heels???
but with the help of a glass of vodka and cranberry juice
with lodsa ice and barbecue....
i managed 3 and a half hours of dancing
deejay didnt make me loose my head but he try sha

such a far cry from wearing a pair of jeans and sneakers
to a parry or club and dancing from 11pm till 5am

i don old o


i love PhD's
i Bless God that my man has one

i pride myself on my PtP
bite me if you dont believe it to be true

i cant stand PsD's
what does any woman need them for?

i feel sympathy for PsP's....
please visit Dr matlock

wonder what they mean?
pretty huge dick
pretty tight pussy
pretty small dicks
pretty slack pussy

10 signs of a Perfect Girl:
In otherwords - T.I.G.H.T.P.U.S.S.Y!!


the last man i told
i love you
responded by saying i think i love you
at that tyme it was all i expected of him
but then....months later..........i wanted more
and his thoughts were no longer enough for me

i do believe i have said those same words to a man recently
not sure if i have said it to his face though
aeons after he first said it to me
i do remember butterflies in my belly and my heart going fast
when i heard him say it
and i thought-oh hell no!!!!!.....you dont.....

i have heard that there is a difference between i love you
i am in love with you

i have found that it is easy to love someone
someone does you a good deed
u like dem so much....it feels like love....so you say it
even if you dont really mean it.....
i love you
someone saves you from a bad situation
i love you
you spend a lot of tyme with someone
i love you
but when these people move away or you lose touch
life goes on.....

but what is it that makes you pine for someone
after they have left your life

sometimes its not even love

my last boyf i pinned for......when it ended
but when i got over him i realised i was happy
we didnt end up as a couple
cos what we really were was acquaintances who enjoyed good sex

the reason why being with Dee is soooooo glorious is cos
with him............i am me

i can be goofy,silly,fart,dress like an ass,
speak like an uncultured slum rat
be this eloquent speaker,dress sexy,plain,official
he is the older brother i dont have
the friend i can get a man's perspective on.....on anything
the one i call when i am hurt,sad,hollow,exasperated,angry,horny,need advice,need to laugh,sometimes just to hear dat sexy voice
the one i am able to be me with....no airs
the one who has never once...judged me

i was thinking back and i realised its been
a while i had that kinda connection with a man
it occured to me that i have not in a long time
being the real Ibi with a man
what i am with him is the persona i decide to be
so it gets old after a while and i want out

unlike how i was with Star/Marl.....no airs.....
odd how i was me with first two guys
i dated and it just went downhill after dem two
sometimes i held back
sometimes i gave all of me and dem guys could not handle it
so i conformed to what seemed to suit them

but thing is Ibi is too old to play charades
you either love this small,shy,loudmouthed,foul mouthed
eloquent,lovely voiced,dirty minded,sexy,talkative,lazy,indecisive,
(there are more adjectives but my wrist don dey pain me)
sweet siren or you can go jump into the lagoon

feels great to have this again.....

its crazy how i was thinking forever with Mel
but i couldnt talk to him about everything and anything

Ubong wants to know why i only danced with my cousins at the club
told him i dont pick guys at clubs
i have gone out with guys i have met online
at alumni meetings
at other meetings
at office parties
at a friend's party
at the workplace
in uni
friends of friends
cos i need ur info
verified info before i set out on the date

i neva go anywhere or hang out outside my home after 7pm
without an sms or bbm to my cousin and my pal

they dont do same
but its an old habit
i always had to let mama know exactly where i was headed
guess it stuck with me

even with Dee outta town a lot
he usually has a pretty good idea where i is

but then i love this relationship because
we have no boundaries
but on the other hand
we do have boundaries neither of us will cross

do i experience jealousy sometimes? i do
does he? i hope so
do i experience an overwhelming need to possess?
when he impales(Ubong's favourite word) me....yesssssss
will i ever do anything to hurt him?never
just as i know for sure in my heart
hell would freeze over before he hurt me

oh and then again i agree with this....
"You know it's love when all you want
is that person to be happy,
even if you're not part of their happiness."
- Julia Roberts

Sunday, November 7, 2010

See bucket of ice cream oo

Hey peeps
i have been away 3 months

in between being without impure thots cos of ramadhan-wink
and treating malaria back to back thrice
it was easy to neglect blogging

but The great has been bugging me to update
and he did promise me ice cream..........
oya o...as i don update.....if i no see ice cream
i will defriend you ooooooooooooo

had a convo with a group of guys
colleagues at work
3 married guys and a girl
the girl was venting
saying her hubby would be castrated
and be imprisoned if he strays and she catch am
so i asked.........castrated and imprisoned for what?
wetin the guy do whey he deserve such punishment?

as was expected, the guys hailed me and said please tell her jo
two of them go on to say
when their wives say
Dear Lord thank you for my hubby
they get scared........
well.....cos they know
they do the nasty with others
so it scares dem that their wives actually speak of them as loyal

the third guy didnt add his two pence
his marriage is younger
i think he hasnt strayed........(yet)

i am not saying men should cheat
i just dont see why a woman wont ask herself
*why* he is cheating
cos reasonable men *always* have a reason

she's hawter than wifey
finer,leaner,fleshier,curvier,lighter skinned,bigger boobs
she shares his hobby(s)
she loves to fuck
she fucks him silly
she is always ready to fuck
she fulfils his sexual fantasies
(yup-sex is a major reason why peepe cheat)
she listens to him
she feeds his ego
she babies him
she understands damage control
she says she's sorry and means it

so if he cheats
i hope you married your friend
so you can ask him why
and i pray he can be honest
cos every wise woman knows
you should neva allow your man's mind wander
their mind always gets lost
they have a short memory span

9 times out of ten
its old men that become senile

how many senile grandmothers do you know?

gramps had 3 wives............
no wonder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love you gramps
miss you like crazy
but i now see why you went that route.......

A pal called me up on my birthday
to those of you who forgot....
you just dont care enuff in my books
and if na so-then na so
aguda o jeun labe geesi.......
friendship no be by force

Star surfaced on facebook
my very first boyf
i remember planning to elope with him
aeons ago....*fluttering lashes*
reality set in and several buxoms taller ladies later
we fell apart

whenever either of us was between relationships
its not like he was the best i eva had
but it was easy to fall back into his bed
last tyme we hooked up
all he wanted to do was get me pregnant
he wanted me pregnant so we could tie the knot he said
he was tired of hopping around he said
i detested the fact that
he thought both parents would only be swayed by a pregnancy
to let us walk down the aisle
i didnt like the reason for the aisle walk
moreover i wasnt ready to be a mother
he wasnt ready to be a father either

a couple of months later he ranted...........
ranted about how i needed to get off the pill
or whatever i was using
he did said he was irate
all i saw in his features was...........relief

fast forward to today
the lovesick star is getting married sometime in 2011
i am soooooo looking forward to the the rice
(even though i was rooting for the babe before this one)
babe is hawt!!!!!!!!!!!
this one?
she will grow on me.....
he has chosen her......

if you think it odd
you dont know me..........those who do know
know that Ibi is a very good girlfriend
i stay cordial with every man i have ever fucked dated
except the one who could not fuck
the one who wants to marry me and leave me in california
(while he fucks every thing in sight in lagos)
the one who wanted to sleep with my mother
(sleeping with a mother and daughter ensures long life in his village)
and two guys who seem to have dropped off the earth's surface

and she(Ibi) will make some guy a very happy man soon
i also plan to be a fabulous mother
when i was 15
my goal in life was
*to be a wonderful wife and mother*

an aunt of mine has a very solid marriage
and all i see in her is
patience and wisdom
two virtues i have an abundance of

my current goal?
i wanna be a billionaire so freaking bad

shade and bukky are gisting
how i go dey help my mate?shade says
cos dude is probably a few years older than me
his wifey cant be much older than me
that is if she old reach me sef
so how i go dey help my mate or my junior?
she suppose fit fuck her dick well ke
and i wonder why her dick keeps saying
oh you are sooo tight
you are soooo wet
him wife neva born
wetin dey make her pussy untight?
abegi i tire
i don delete teh guy o
i cant justify to myself anymore this mate helping i dey do
i would rather help my aunty's mate jare
i was brought up to help my elders carry their load
not my mate

it took a lot of willpower for me not to laugh out loud

my closest female pal and i didnt speak for about 4 months
we exchanged emails,jokes,messages,or whatever catches our fancy
but no calls or hook ups

recently we had a reunion with a couple
of oda peeps and we all just synced

fast forward 2 weeks
she looses her job
i ask an innocent question and she starts to hyperventilate

i wonder what it is about me that gets her mad

Uti won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me.....i am glad that arrogant short prick didnt win

(people dey talk say Uti papa burial go rock!!!!!!!!!)
human beings!!!!!!!!!!!
wish him well
and i hope he dumps Sheila fast
i cant stand confused people

and if you are bisexual or gay
you are confused

it is my blog
i can say what i like
if you dont like what i have to say
go and sit inside gutter water
if gutter no dey near you
drink battery water

remember that machine(mi car) i bought for my birthday last year?
i sold it
it was planning to give me hypertension
i have a wooden box
donations are welkome
Ibi needs a new ride

this year for mi birthday?
i shopped for new eyes,clothes,shoes and bags
taxi neva finish for Lagos

I hope i love sex as much as i do now when i get married
my mind is in a perpetual state of filth
it needs to be washed with izal,dettol,jik,persil,omo.....
all i see in my mind's eye is phallus
all i wanna do is cum cum cum
and oh dear
oh God
Oh my God
i am definitely currently having the bestest sex of my life
marra of fact
this guy makes love to me
its not just about getting sexually gratified
its its its..........cant fucking explain it......
mwah sweetim

my colleague is going away to born pikin
5 months she will be away
see how my life just got easier?????
i have her duties plus mine
they say i just got more relevant in the work place
so i should embrace it
i dont mind ooooooooooooo
i just need half of her salary..........