April

So in the spirit of a post a month

i'm here

how have you all been?


Dee has been lethargic all week
i say take your vitamins every morning

he says... will it work?

i say ...just try... and in a week if you still yawn after every sentence

we'll both know you are pregnant

we both lolled at that




i love kids even though i can only keep up with them for a couple of minutes
they soon tire me out and i need a chair to strap them in or a play pen to drop them into

i most definitely love kids who do enjoy their own company



sometimes i wonder how i'll cope when i eventually bring forth mine
then i remind myself

i'll have a live-in nanny and if my kid is anything like me...they will be pretty easy to manage

i wanna believe that mom wasnt trying to be patronising when she said i was a pretty easy child

so whew...looking forward to birthing children who shall stress me not...



everyone keeps reminding me
nectar is going sour.have them kids now

help me ask them if they will assist me with baby food,clothes,diapers,cost of a nanny...college fees etc


truth be told..i'm not emotionally and financially ready for a child...emphasis on emotionally

so i'll have a live-in nanny....where did i state: i wont be a hands-on mum?




as for being a fabulous wife that slaves in the kitchen?

i dont even like to eat

Dee tends to say.. i wanna eat ... then i'll say...lets go to the kitchen...i'll keep you company

does it matter who does what?

we eat and thats that

when ever he leaves it to me to decide when my body needs nourishment?

i end up not eating anything

well cos i tend to say

i'm not hungry Dee


so i snack on an apple, some grapes, maybe a mango...or some ice cream and tobleron
or some grilled chicken and french fires

He always says whatever happened to eba or amala or beans or rice or whatever

so...i'll say well if you are making it,i'll keep you company and we'll eat together

oh well...its great to be in love with a man who doesnt care who has what role






the rains are here
i hate the rains


always a chore to get to anywhere

bad water clogged roads
traffic dat drains the life blood outta you

oh dear

i cant wait for it all to end






i truly enjoy getting older
allows me to get away with a lotta crap
i tend to wave my birth certificate in people's noses

at my age...i'm entitled to a life
by my rules

especially cos i'm dependent on noone

i also enjoy being selfish half of the time

marriage and children will make me selfless

so i wanna enjoy my selfish years for as long as i can

truth be told

my parents did a bad job of the whole shingdig...i guess its one of the reasons i dont care for the institution


i guess...someday.....someone will change my mind and i'll be ready for the journey

until then......i love me alone..... a lot


p:s...i love you Dee.....





see y'all in May

March

Hey Peeps

so i wonder... am i planning to stick to a post a month?
i did not set out to do this
but it will be regular wont it?
instead of a post every 7 months.......

So february was aiight
vals day was fun
lots of laffs at work

dry tables
full tables
cakes...gifts...flowers...

i thorougly enjoyed darey's concert
i didnt go cos of kimmy
i watch her enuff on e!!!

a lot of peeps were disappointed by her 30 second hello
i couldnt care less....

Dare...that was fabulous...my opinion....




My gifts?
thoughtful.....

my thank you?

earth-shattering.....

wink wink wink




you guys ever noticed how...if you savour the sex and dont fall over the cliff when you get the need to....
the orgasm is so much better when you eventually let yourself fall?


So boyf hates it when i say sex
he prefers to use the term love making

i could say fuck

really makes no difference

all i know is its fucking great......wide grin...chuckling...giggling....laffing





friend of mine has been searching for the fruit of the womb for about 5 years
says his wife is not letting them shag no more
she is disappointed in the whole process

i guess i can try to understand where she is coming from
but there are needs other than procreation for sex aiint it?


we whey never marry sha dey oil our engines
what is it with wifes who dont feel the need to oil theirs?



you lie in a bed beside a warm body every night...dont ya?
i totally get it...........noone does *it* every night
but married couples.......especially those without kids yet
since i know kids can tire you the fuck out...sometimes....there is not enuff energy in the body to get it up....

biko explain it to me
precious dick beside you and you dont feel the need to ride it?

and if you have ever wondered about my fav position... i just spilled

ibi loves to ride........yeehaw


i'll be back to tell una why we do it
after i marry
that is if i find myself in that rut


i'm not shy about taking what i want
if i'm ready to go and boyf is snoring

i wake him up with a bj and ride him till i'm spent
he can go back to sleep after that


so when i marry
if i go for months without sex and i truly dont feel the need to fuck

i'll come back here to yarn una




erm for those of you who may be wondering why i have this great sex life and i havent said anything about marriage
i can not tell you when i will marry yet because my oga at the top may change it.....lol


that clip is fucking hilarious

everytime i watch it ............it cracks me up

mwah peeps

i'll be back in April or i may surprise myself and be back before march fades...........

February

hey Peeps

so its february again
peeps be getting all hot and bothered
what will i get for him ?
what will i get from him?

do i spend a little or a lot?

do i cook him a meal?
send him a meal?
take him out to dinner?

oh well......

i only know

soon it will be feb 15th and peace will reign again

if its any consolation

most people dont have aids on world's aids day

so if you are val-less on valentine's day?

life will go on......

look out for them concerts though,who knows a lonely soul may be lurking

erm but please watch out for murderers,rapists,thugs,thieves...they are out their lurking too







always sad to hear when fab teams break up
the whizkid saga

but alas

change is the only constant thing in life

Ibi in 2013

hey peeps

so we all make new year resolutions?


i never do


but Jan 2012 i set one goal for Ibi

just one

really proud of me....

i sucessfully achieved it



2012 was a good year




i have decided to set just one goal for 2013

i'll let you all know in a year if i sucessfully achieve it






as for my mum---she needs a son in law...good thing is, she has learnt he will come...patience..His time is never late

my friends---they need for Ibi to own a car...my money never complete,na by force?...my old truck showed me...and i refuse to buy a car i can only drive with the aid of a throw pillow

my father---he probably needs to get his wife pregnant...oh by the way,i oddly have no hard feelings towards the newly weds...i just dont feel the need to be friendly with his model(na so he talk am-i married a model)...she's 5 yrs older than Ibi-definitely too young to be my stepmum,she's my father's wife-plain and simple...anyone that knows her should advice her..the only children of my father who wish to enjoy her motherhood are the ones she'll bear him...QED







i dont pay for sex

fab news dat you wont pay for it

personally i dont think there should be an exchange of money for sex

you are horny,he is horny...fuck him,let him fuck you and dat is dat






my cousin's take...is with regards married boos

you are married...your pussy dey house

what is wrong with it?

is it loose,cold,worn out,is the baby's head blocking the vaginal canal?

please explain to me why you wont pay me to fuck me na?



as you come my house come carry me say make we go catch up over drinks
come carry me go suites say make you massage me....

help me ask him

did i complain of weary muscles?
did he become a masseur in the couple of months we lost touch?




Ubongda and i were gisting and he has requested i tell her that asking for money wont put every guy off

she loled and said so far it has been foolproof




Ibi's take?

there is always an underlying reason to why men cheat

his wife has changed or he married the wrong woman.....akuko
she doesnt watch porn with him no more
she doesnt give head no more
she is away a lot
she is tired a lot
she wont try new things with him
she spends way too much money
she isnt bringing up the kids the way he wants
she doesnt have a good handle on her staff-domestic or otherwise
she exasperates him
she dis
she dat



he always goes back home to her

if he is not afraid of his wife...good for you

wife number 2 title awaits you or at least you are a kept woman: a mistress

if he is scared of his wife....you are OYO









Rita Dominic-i loved you in The meeting

i hated the concept of you in streets of calabar


Phoneswap.....i loved every minute of it



Dr Bello?....isaiah-why did you come to naija for such a silly script?


A wish....some good laffs....and sometimes i just wanted to bitchslap Umoh and Kemi's father







I lift my glass to you all...to a year filled with the Good Lord's unending blessings and mercy...

Wowza!!!!

So i've been away how many months?
i've lost count meself





Ibiluv turned 5 on the 31st of May
and for some reason i was too lazy to come here to celebrate



then i turned 34 on the 7th of October
and was too lazy to come here as well.......



i forgot about sex for the month of ramadhan

i've since remembered sex, but i dont have gist about any sexcapades......

Ibi!!!!!!!!!!! where is your mojo??????





My closest pal felt the need to let her hair down a couple of weeks ago and we
hooked up with some pals whilst dancing

after everyone was kinda spent on the dance floor

we went off to a strip joint

we had her younger bro and his babe in our entourage

the girl froze in her tracks and must have begged every angel in heaven to get her outta there

she gave us.....my pal and i, an attitude the next day

and her boyf came to say she was mighty angry she had to experience that and she assumed our male friends who took us along had dishonourable intentions

i laughed so hard cos i couldnt understand how going to a strip joint with pals had anything to do with honourable or dishonourable intentions





i dont need a man to lead me on a merry go round if he wants sum

same as i wont go on a merry go round with anyone if i want sum




reminds me how it was drummed into my ears growing up that you can never pick up a boyf or future hubby at a club

i'm not so sure i agree with that analogy

i hardly do any picking up at the club anyways

its just crazy that if i dump a guy in the friend zone.......there shall he stay

but if a guy find himself in the too hawt to resist zone....its hard to get him outta there




so for every ex whom i never succumbed to.........

its either of two things

you hurt me real bad

or

sex with you?????

...i dont feel the need to relive



cant relive it cos you are off limits

or cant relive it cos current beau does a better job than you ever did....wink





so is it wrong to hang out with a married pal?
say a group of friends share a meal and sweat (dancing)

seeing that he's leaving the club and heading home to his wife
i have no qualms about sharing sweat with a married pal
but if you think i was dancing too close????

no be me bring ur man come club o

and if you are married to him and you dont have kids below 10
but you let him go clubbing alone.....no comment

we will dance close to him o
and we will grind against him with our assets sef

dont worry..........

we are only getting him hot and bothered enuff to come home to give you a little sumthing sumthing.........



mwah y'all

Ibi is back!!!!!!!!!!!

reality shows.....grandmas....3 wishes

Anyone who comes here


knows i love my reality tv shows


Sad Joshua didn't win idol but i loved the finale
2 hours of fabulous singing


i'm looking forward to a Joshua/Fantasia duet
a Josh album
a Skylar album
a Jessica album


please don't disappoint me people......





Ice and Coco?
love them


Khloe and Lamar?
love them


Bachelorette/bachelor
wont be caught dead watching it













BBA7


i miss Ola and Chris


Now that maneta and zainab are in upville
i no longer watch downville



Goldie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE COME HOME

stop disgracing me

woman talk to you
instead make you reply
you go cry

man talk to you
instead make you reply
you go cry

parry dey house

instead make you dance

you go gum body for prezzo side


you dey gum body for him side
when he touch you
you go dey do like virgin




abegggiiiiiiiiiiiii

PLEASE come back home to make music

i met you briefly at champagne conversations and i was glad i did

as of now
you dey fall my hand

please nominate yourself and come home

abeg

because the girl in your videos and the wimp in bba are 2 different people

my colleague says you went into the house to find a husband

since you have found him

please come home

bikoooooooooooooooo












a pal of mine recently got married
she insists she needs help
she wants her mum around

in my place...........its the mother in law that gets to stay

hubby has told his mum to stay away-he thinks both mums don't need to stay

she on the other hand has re-invited her mother to stay

i say she is being stupid

cos if you ask me...its not like she needs help

she is just being lazy and doesn't yet understand that she is married

she wants her mum around her

i love my mum but i wont want her hovering around when i have a baby-my mama is too busy/funky to hover sef

she can go live with my brother(s)

and if my mother in law turns out to be like my friend's
i would love her for dat

pop in for a day or 2 to help
disappear for 4 days to a week.........rather than have her over 24/7 for my 3 months maternity leave

i said my piece when everyone did
which led to both mothers leaving

now dat she has re-invited her mother

i wont say a word

abegggiiiiiiiiiiiiii-before dey will ask me-wetin my own?
as i never marry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!









i need a genie-3 wishes

i need a wardrobe change

i need a holiday

i need for my new boss to be offered a job at Chevron

soundtrack,shorties,work,horny,kilos

after being confronted a couple of times by Dee and denying it...
i made an effort to listen to myself and i was shocked.....kinda
to find out my soundtrack is.......a tad religious
i've always thought and insisted...i am a moaner
but to find out i call on HIM....

erm erm Deee...u bad boyyyyyyyy...see what you make me doooooooo


ohhh and soundtracking in a local dialect during sex always sounds ludicrous
i've heard it...and i found it hilarious and no it wasnt Dee
hez......silent



i can be a tease and i do enjoy attention
but i wish small men could read my mind and leave me the fuck alone
i do not wish to measure height with(fuck) my twin(i dont have one)
if you are only about 2 cms taller than Ibi
scrammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


been mad busy at work lately
oddly enuff i'm happiest if i've got a shitload of work to do
it makes playing much more fun when i get off work




do y'all remember my boss?
the one i wanted to kill?
naija jazz finally got to him
we are no longer alllowed into his office in his absence
and he carries *holy* water around now
which he periodically sprinkles on everyting in his office
apparently hez leaving us in a couple of months
some cocksuckers feigned sadness
i kept a straight face
well.......cos smiling or laffing out loud woud have been u know.....bad



1 more person Lord........that jazz needs to get to
ironically its not cruella
which ever doc is treating her at yaba left now
is doing a good job
shez sane 4 and a half days a week
blissssssss



crazy when Dee is miles away and i'm horny as a bitch
darn it..........I AM A BITCH ON HEAT
loads of cyber sex,online porn and dirty pictures
and darling mr b to the rescue
mr b? my vibrator.....wink



so its 520am now and btw 10pm when i got home and now
i've listened to a couple of movies(i wasnt paying attention)
whilst bantering with Dee and letting the porn vids download
i've also added a new stash to my collection of naughty pictures
and cummmmm a couple of times..........i wasnt counting
i have dinner half eaten-yes dinner dat late cos i skipped lunch
but its time to get up and get ready for work
erm i forgot to sleep.......


Dee......my appetite has been messed up lately-not sure y
i'm gonna get me some vits-i've lost a kilo or 2
loosing kilos isnt acceptable oooooo

Ubong sebi u know i'm talking about ya friend
hmmmmmmmm i have gist for you
lets discuss this away from blogspot

ciao people!!!!!!!!!!

Flirt---Adele-----Whitney

met a good looking guy a while back at work

we flirted on the fone a couple of times

i may have fantasised about straddling him-wink

but guy has gone underground............i'm 6 years older

i miss the flirting though



i'm sooooooooooooooo loving Adele right now



Sad about Whitney
tired of all the hate directed at Bobby
we all make our own way in life
i pray she found peace with God before going under

Birthday Cards

I used to really appreciate them........birthday cards
i love words
it takes me forever to form them
cos i never take words for granted

i've always been a note writer
i'll write a note/text/mail to my boss,colleague,subordinate
rather than call/or walk up to a person

words can be beautiful
leave you happy even when you are penniless
just like a great big bear hug practically cures depression

the best words???
those left unsaid

2 days ago
bad head space
everything was work related
and to cap it ...i was bone tired and hungry
i was dragging myself to get brunch when a pal walked up to me and without a word gave me a hug
it was so sweet of him to do that
ibi i hate it when you look forlorn
what is wrong?
this place i said
we laughed.....


Cruella has been a good girl lately
but cos evil never completely erodes
her evil side showed up last week
3 days of ignoring her and shes back to being sane

its my other boss....he, i would love to poison

the job is fyne-i love it
the pay sucks..........
my colleagues-fun people
my boss.........i hope he drops dead


back to words..........

i honestly cant remember the last time i went off to buy one
i cant be bothered anymore to find a meaningful card
a text message- a bbm display picture-a bbm-a voice note
all of that and more will do it
why buy cardboard that will eventually be used to pack dirt?????

oh and by the way-a birthday gift will show just how much you care
the more useful it is to the person the more meaningful

so out with birthday cards...in with...gifts
cash gifts?
always a pleasure
wink...........

do we really ever know anyone or ourselves?

sometimes i wonder if i am being truthful when i say i am

not sad,not lonely,not angry,or that i am happy

whilst i agree that happiness is a choice

i do know that sometimes being happy or getting

to the frame of mind of being happy is/can be a chore

i have legendary mood swings

one minute i am sad

the next minute i am happy

it doesnt matter if its home/office/play

when my mood changes i just wanna be left alone

sometimes i dont even know why i'm suddenly sad/upset

so i let it simmer for a few minutes then internalise

and find what triggered it

usually i am able to find what it is and deal with it







if i care about a person/thing
i bother about her/him/it
i involve myself in their life
be it in a little way or a big way
a call/a text/an email
if i can drag myself to visit.........
i must love you

that is because i only need people in small doses

i spent a lot of time growing up by myself
so i'm used to entertaining me
i've never been bored in my life
i'm pretty sure it will never happen
i'm also quite able to create new worlds in my head
worlds i wanna live in
afterall dreams come true
i'm also adept at doing nothing.....my favourite past time



i'm sensing they think its jealousy
maybe even envy
its actually anger

i'm the chatter box
in someone's company so long as there is no tv
i'll entertain you
i talk a lotttttttttttt
most of my stories are about me

i'm not a good gossip
cos i tend to confess to the victim
so hardly would you catch me gossiping

why am i angry?
its not like i think its anyone's fault
its one thing for me to like being by myself
its another thing to be excluded

now that i no longer wish to be included
they are coming at me with the snide remarks
jealousy,envy,sadness they say


i say-go jump over the third mainland bridge please








i'm upset at work peeps
every single one of them forgot my birthday
i made a fuss to a select few
some reverted with a genuine apology
someone in particular seemed to shrug me off

i'm vindictive enuff to do same to her in 2012
oh and dat goes to everyone in my life

its the one day in my life that i will exercise
my God given right as a woman to invent and establish drama






oh and another thing............
i treat people the way they treat me

did i fare better?

i've had a very bad case of blogger's block
i've also been incredibly lazy

but i did promise i'll be back
and i always do a birthday post

so i was a year older on the 7th
afrobabe i love you
*cyber hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

i tend to get a little melancholic on my birthdays
so to make up for the shitty head space i knew i was gonna get into
i was supposed to hang out with the girls after work
and it was a friday but the rain was a bitch

so we didnt have girls nite out
dinner someplace
get tipsy
flirt shamelessly
dance like crazy and tumble into bed in the morning


so we had a lazy saturday instead
we shopped-meat,veggies and condiments for edikaikong
facials
ran into my aunt
2 yrs older but technically my aunt
harrassed her kidz(i love em kidz)
had dinner
and laffed so hard i almost peed in my pants
i love you girls


i temporarily moved to my aunt's since july
construction at my zone is driving me nuts
she doesnt get it apparently that i love my own space
she keeps asking me what is wrong
then goes into a prayer session
cos my cousin(her daughter) who i am a year older than
is getting married in nov

i dont have a jealous bone in my body
and i only envy people what they have that i wish i had

i wish her mum got it
but then again if i was to explain it to her the way it really is
it would only be read as jealousy or envy
since it is neither-she(my aunt) will have to get used to my smiles and the sealed lips
i'm wondering why she hasnt brought it up with my mum
well cos my mum hasnt asked me
even though my mum gets it
well if she does-i'm guessing my mum will tell her to ignore it
mum calls it-the curse of my dad's family
we internalise and shut everyone out
people think it is cos we are bothered about something
but the harsh truth is its cos we really dont care



my brother is well
has a new girl on his hands
i dont particularly like her
i dont consider her cute/curvy/nice
and i dont like girls who live in filth with their squeeze
especially cos i have to witness the filth
i still breeze into my place anyday i wanna
well,i harrassed her 2 wks ago
so far she seems to have imbibed the clean space rule
good


you hurt me......bad
I need a proper apology
jewelry always works i hear
but do remember to ask me before you splurge on an item i'll detest
cos i'm still very upset with you
i'm gonna let you deal with your stuff
cos i get it............
but you owe me.........




so my colleague has been advised to get a vibrator
i've tried to get her to surf the web
and maybe make a purchase but she keeps dilly dallying
with my man outta town a lot
life would be almost unbearable if i didnt own one
*wink*
i know a vibrator wont take the place of a warm body
but it can take the edge of animalistic tendencies
wink





a friend of mine seems to be avoiding me/us
i guess its cos lately all we do is berate her
well its like this
if you must date more than 1 married guy
please make it about the money
no sense in hoping from one bed to another for a meal and a drink
well maybe........some lousy thousands

cos apparently shez been sleeping with 2 married guys
(mayb more)
and she gets pregnant
does she
a-ask them to accompany her on the same day or on different dayz?
b-get the fundz from both possible fathers but go fix it alone?
c-fix it then bill the fathers heavily?
d-fix it then bill then what the doctor billed her?


kindly note i think shez an ass-
dating 2 or more men that are off limits to you is bullshit
actually allow both of them to sperminate you is stupid
then to get fertilized was downright idiotic
but to then decide to be cautious about billing them?
i thot.....silly


to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction
if you wanna sperminate you have to worry about fertilization
not so?

I owe y'all a post shey?

i'll b back

Ibiluv is 4 years old today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yippieeeeeeeeeeeee

She loved her beach house. It wasn’t only the serenity she craved it was also the sight and sound of the ocean. Also knowing she just upped and left everyone-her job, her friends and family just gives her inner devil a lotta joy-the minute she got in-she took a shower and had a meal-God bless her housekeeper-now it was tyme to settle down for a lovely story
It was sunset and she could no longer read by sunlight, her glass of lemonade stood empty on the floor beside the chaise lounge she had been reclining on-she had heard him drive in a while ago-she knew he would need to go to his study to do some work before joining her upstairs..

Lost in her thoughts she heard a sound behind her…..there he stood…her adonis…this man had to have been a greek god in another life…beautifully sculpted…people tell her all the time how fabulous she looks..she always wishes she could retort wait till you see my man….

Wordz were not needed…her body always reacted when ever his was close…and he could always tell-even in the midst of an argument, they both could still cut the sexual tension in the air with a knife….it didn’t help that she only had on her lingerie…..a slinky number in the softest pink and he could see every inch of that body he loved so much..he had a smirk on his face cos already he could see her nipples hardening…

She stood where she was..her back to the sea..listening to the sounds..he walked towards her…when he got to her-he enveloped her in a bear hug…this was one of the reasons she loved this man…fitting into his arms like this always felt so right….she went on her knees and slowly flicked her tongue over the tip…..he made it to pre cum in a matter of mins…slowly she trailed her fingers down his legs whilst giving her tongue the liberty to roam freely along his shaft

He had his hand on her head, her hair..he wasn’t tugging or shoving..just resting his hand there…she smirked cos she knew for him it was some way to balance himself so he wouldn’t topple over…over and over again she licked, sucked and worshipped his family jewels….she wasn’t even sure how they made it to the chaise but he was gently laying her on it and proceeded to plant feathery kisses on her inner thighs..after what seemed like aeons..he kissed her...long and slow and slipped his digits into her…she loved how he managed to do both…kissing him was always a joy. The fusion of their pie holes always drove her completely nuts…and his digits???…glorious and they always served as a reminder of what was to come…

She whispered..you are driving me nuts. Could you please fuck me now? I will he said…he turned her over and with the slightest of motions stationed dat lovely appendage by her labia lips-she gasped..just the feel-nothing else yet…but she was dripping buckets and dat was all the encouragement he needed..slowly ever so slow he inched into her…felt like he was going in in millimeters….and then he filled her…and there they were…naked with the salty air swishing around them kneeling by the chaise as he proceeded to make love to her….

It was glorious and earth shattering…much later as they lay spent...she listened to both their heart beats as normalcy returned...the kiss to her forehead was the last thing she remembered before she drifted off to la la land..

Should I fix you a drink too?

‘Should I fix you a drink too?’

he asked as he set down his backpack on the bed, shrugging out of his shirt as he walked to the mini-bar in the room.

‘Yes honey, thanks’ she said as she typed away furiously at her laptop keyboard, wanting to finish the report and email it so she could relax fully and enjoy her weekend with her lover.

She had been looking forward to this time alone with him for a while, and her boss dumping an overdue report on her late on Friday was quite the mood dampener but after hearing his deep, drawling voice on the phone saying he was leaving the airport...that made her, perk up.

She was startled by the touch of a cold glass on the back of her neck, she had been so engrossed in her work she didn’t realize when he came up behind her. ‘What are you working on?’ ‘it’s a damned report my boss insists must be sent today’ she says as she placed a hand over his warm, calloused one that was kneading the muscles of her shoulder. ‘Aahh, that feels so good’ she says… He hands her drink to her, at the same time bending over her and placing a kiss on her forehead like a father would on his daughter. ‘take it easy babe, you’re all tensed up’ he breathes in her ear.

The familiar smell of him suddenly makes her nerve endings tingle as she inhales the mix of aftershave, the musky cologne he favours and sweat of travel that wafts off him. She realizes how much she had missed him being with her and suddenly ignored her computer, turning in her chair, she grabs him by the waist. ‘I missed you baby’ she murmurs into his belly, the soft hair around his navel tickling her lips as she speaks.

His reaction is instant, his loins tighten up as her soft, warm arms encircle him. He leans down over her, rubbing down her back through the sheer material of the work shirt she has on.. pulling the shirt out of her skirt, finding her skin beneath and working his thick, hard fingers into her muscles. She sighs in pure pleasure, writhing under his touch as she feels herself relaxing.

He straightens up, picking his glass from the table and sipping on his drink, pulling her up by the arm as he does. She gets into his arms, face turned up as he envelopes her in a deep,fiercely passionate kiss. She can feel the hunger for her in him and that knowledge makes her both excited and scared at the same time. Excited that she holds such an attraction for him and scared that she may lose him at some time. He lives and works in another part of the country as an engineer, always on the road, sleeping in different hotels in different towns… and surely meeting lots of different women.


She feels his breath get deep and fast, the taste of brandy in his mouth mixing with hers as both their tongues entwine. Her nipples are so sensitive; they are almost painfully squeezed against his chest. His hands slip lower, cupping her round bottom in a gentle squeeze. He lifts her off her feet while still kissing her, and lays her on the bed. His eyes are locked on to hers, boring a hole deep into her soul as he gets up and removes his jeans, then his boxers. He doesn’t say a word and does not break eye contact while he walks to the window and opens it.

There is a sudden, moist and cold breeze from the rain outside in the room. With the curtains billowing behind him, she watches him stalk back to the bed like a panther, his erection proudly displayed to her lustful gaze.

She licks her lips, smiling at him while feeling the molten heat well up from inside her core. She starts to unbutton her shirt but he stops her with a hand. Gently but firmly pushing her down on to the bed, he grabs her glass and gulps some her drink, then he leans over her and kisses her again. As her lips open she feels her drink trickling down into her mouth from his. He hadn’t swallowed, just used his mouth to serve her. He has deftly shed her buttons while kissing her, now he slides his hand underneath her and unclips her bra. Her proud breasts feel the heat of his hands and the coolness of the breeze coming through the open window. It is such a delicious feeling.


Her hands rake through his hair as he lowers his lips to her nipple, biting and sucking hard while his hands slide under her skirt and hooks on the waistband of her panties. She raises her hips to help him ease them off, watching his eyes look down her skirt as she raises her legs to kick off the panties. He smiles and rubs a hand lazily across her chest, palm flat over her breasts, fingers teasing her neck and chin. His other hand he cups firmly over her mound, the heel of his hand making hard contact with her clit as his finger teases her wet slit. He’s not going inside, just gliding his finger over her lips enough to open them, circling round her opening and making her groan with the need to have any part of him inside her.


Her arousal is very evident now in the rich scent of her feminine musk which he inhales rather dramatically. She knows he’s teasing her, she sees that look of intense concentration on his face she knows is a sign of his arousal. His gaze never leaves the moist morsel between her thighs as he lifts his glass to his lips, drinks and bends his head to her sex. His hands push her skirt up to her waist as he spreads her legs wide, she is wide open to his view and intentions now. She shudders as she feels his breath over her engorged clit, then the exquisite pleasure of his tongue, which is cold from the drink and warm as he licks in slow, circular motions around her clit. He does not touch her anywhere else… yet.


She clutches at the sheet as he abruptly plunges his tongue into her slick tunnel in the same motion that he uses his hands to raise her hips.
Her sensual, thrusting motion makes her clit contact against his nose as she fucks his tongue. She can feel her orgasm coming up quickly. He’s a master at working his tongue sinuously inside her, bringing it up to suck on her clit. Now he has 2 fingers deep inside her while her clit is being strummed by his tongue. She’s moaning deep in her throat and bucking under his face like a wild horse. She starts to drum her feet on his back as she climaxes, holding his head tight against her dripping wet sex. His name is spinning on her mind as she lies breathless in the afterglow of the intense orgasm. He brings his head up, breathing deep, looking at her with lust filled eyes, his lips glistening with her juice.


He smirks at her effort to regain balance and says ‘I missed you too babe’… She smiles and pulls him to her, licking his lips, nose, eyes.. tasting herself mixed with him, instantly getting a high from that. She says ‘I know honey, I know’. Her hands are both stroking his hot hardness and his soft sac as she kisses him. She scrapes a fingernail over his glans and gets the reaction she wants from him. A sharp intake of breath, then a long drawn out sigh of pleasure as she takes him in her mouth.. takes him as deep as she can. He’s big and stretches her lips but she loves sucking him. She’s got saliva coating him and her movements are smooth and sensual, fucking him with her mouth just as she fucked his mouth earlier. She’s good at this and knows exactly how to bring him to a load...moaning her name in the process... She wants to taste his seed and drink it greedily but he’s not having that.


He held her head to stop her, moaning ‘I don’t want to cum yet baby, I need to be inside you’. The naked need in his voice makes her cream her pussy even more. So she gets on her knees and he gets behind her, the penetration is fast and hard but not painful. She is well lubricated but feels the immense size of him filling her up, pushing against her womb. The connection is deep and erotic, the sound of his balls slapping against her as he thrusts deep into her are adding to her excitement. He’s groaning deeply and she knows he will unleash his thick cream into her very soon. His hands grab her breasts like the reins of a horse he’s riding….. and he is riding her, hard, deep, furiously. She feels a throbbing inside her that emanates from his magnificent dick buried deep inside her, his belly on her soft butt.


He starts to rub her clit with a hand in time with his thrusts, which are getting quicker. He’s close to losing control now. She arches her back, raising her bottom up and presenting him a deeper angle of penetration. Though it’s a bit painful, she revels in the sex she’s giving him and urges him on with her voice ‘fuck me baby, fuck me hard… who’s ur sweet baby?’ he responds with a furious, grunting assault on her body that rocks him to an explosive climax, which makes him give short, choked off cries as he cums deep inside her. She feels the heavy gush of warm, male seed flooding her insides and that triggers another orgasm for her, clenching her butt cheeks and pulsing the walls of her tight pussy to milk every drop from him.


He’s dripping with sweat and breathing hard against her back. She bears his weight on her as her hands and knees tremble from the shared orgasms. ‘welcome home baby’ she murmured.....

hurt,naija idol,naija sings,how far?,lottery,VP's,career-dislike,escorts,

so sometimes it crosses our minds.....
not to be as we are in the presence of those we love
because sometimes they judge us harshly
i guess we are all human
and when a person strips himself/herself so you see dem as they are
you really should be more grateful that hurtful
and if they are no longer toeing that line
dont sing dat broken record of you shouldnt have
said person already made a platinum album out of said phrase for self

people sometimes react a certain way about who you were or who you are
and in the person's reaction.....the person hurts you
whether they know it or not
a lot of times i'm slow to comment...
slow to react...
slow to do just about everything in my life
cos i hate being wrong
and i only ever regret the things i didnt have the guts to do or say
there is nothing in my past i am ashamed of
i may shield some parts of me from certain people
but allowing a person(s) see me
as i am
is a really big deal
so when i am then judged by that person
it hurts.......deep
ironically......said person may not even know they hurt me
but they will............they will
cos someday i will bring it up and they will know just how bad
dat laff
that smirk
dat harsh word
dat ungiven hug.............hurt






i am looooovvvvviiinnnnggggggg Naomi Mac
she's soooooooooo breathtaking
602 to 34365
abeg make una vote jare
maybe una go win motor
chei this kind free advert
Naomi u owe me ooooooooo



i was for the brothers to win Naija sings
i was miffed Casey won
but his single is not bad


and have you heard Tonii-idol evictee's new singles?

i like............a lot



as for american idol
i have not really heard dem all
but Scott can propose to me anytyme
such a voice........swoooonnnnnnn
and he's 16
reallly????

Naima is cute....she is doll like
i liked her umbrella rendition
albeit pitchy.....
i hope she gets better

and Pia has pipes.........
its hard to do a celine,aguilera,whitney and maria
and she did celine so well..........




so a person has a problem
eg she needs a car
everytyme you see said person you ask how far?
the need to buy the car...is your need to see her in a car greater than her need to own one?????

note to married friends of single people
dont ask your single pal *every time* you see/call/write/mail/bbm/tweet said person
how far?
is getting married....the same as choosing what gown to wear to what dinner party???

i dont ask you how far?
with when you plan to have number 2
or when you plan to move out of your rented apartment into your own home
or some other silly question
if a person is single and you have not magically produced a spouse suitable to that person
stop *how faring* them

later you will complain they dont vist
how dem go visit?
all you will do is how far dem and moreover did getting married somehow suggest to you that your single friend is the jobless one that must come visit you always?
dem gum ya own yansh for ur house?


we ask God how far all the tyme
He always replies............soon

dats good enuff for me/we/us

you people should stop how farring us

if i have not seen you in 8 years and you ask me,how far?
i get it........you are catching up

if you saw me yesterday and ask me how far
i'll poison your drink



i'm depressed..........
i want to win a lottery
there's none going on at the moment...or is there?
please when you hear of a lottery
make una let me know
i love the things money can buy
so i really really like money
but i dont love money
else i would have......let me keep my evil thots to myself
i wont do anything to get it(Money)
but i would love to win the ottery

yes i know...........a lazy man's dream
i never lied about being lazy..........


i watched the vice presidential debate and i wonder why Sambo went to cause traffic from the airport to abeokuta instead of facing his peers
in btw i have a distant uncle as a vp aspirant
so make una no try me
ibi will soon be in aso rock as the vice president's official speech writer



i've been thinking of a change of career a lot lately
i havent really done anything about it......yet
let me just roll it in my head for a bit longer
i may take the plunge soon

i seem to have developed a considerable amount of dislike for my boss
no not Cruella
me and her are cool these days
its the big dawg
he smiles a lot and just talks/acts damn rite nasty
he has also perfected the act of lieing thru his teeth
mschewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
these days all i wanna do is slap the idiot

i prefer nasty people with dour expressions
but an always smiling fuck????.........he makes me cringe


in part he is one of the reasons i wanna leave
i don tire to dey see him face


found this online
www.loungebella.com
a pal of mine wants to know if there is a site that caters to women as well
let us know............

rude,iron,crib,mum,fat,house,eyes only

She's in the living room
explaining every scene of the movie as if my brother is deaf and blind
i would love to shut her up
but wetin concern me
i guess i'm just irritated cos she didnt notice big sister Ibi and greet
the dumb spawn of my mother didnt greet either
so is it her fault?

i don enter my room....lock my door
i will punish him for said crime later....




in between
i truly am an evil sister.....
in the last year
2 steam irons have found their way to the scrap yard
i dont trust my brother
things electrical always go bad around him

its exasperating cos the asswipe has a degree in electrical electronics from an obodo oyibo university

you people should sha tell him

i have replaced gen,pumping machine,fan,iron,since he rolled into town
i will castrate him if anything happens to my kettle,fridge and microwave


oh...hehehehehe i recently bought a new iron and i am hiding it in my room





went to say hi to my pal at her place
nice crib
really nice



i'm not speaking to my mum
matter of fact i think she owes me an apology
the way it happens-when we both get upset
we dont talk for 2 weeks
thats like her limit
then her eldest sister calls and mandates me to call mum and apologise

this tyme i will also demand my own apology

if she wont give it

i prefer to stay dis-daughtered

i wonder why birthing me gives her the right to dole out shit to me and i am expected to lap it up

this text message whey she send to me dat day ehn(whey dey vex mi)
i will make her apologise for it o
either directly or indirectly.......




all these fat in my belle(2inches of fat)
please go to my bum
neither I nor Dee likes dis belly fat
we both prefer yansh fat
truth be told
na me dey find yansh fat
he loves Ibi's ass as it is
and considering i gained a few kg's recently
ibi's ass is looking gud!!!!!!!!!!!
crunches here i come.....




so Dee teased me about not registering for bba6
are you worried i may be worried about you getting horny and fucking some dude in the house he asked
my job i said
not a gud enuff excuse he said....
i know you Ibi
kisses and mayb blowjobs is as far as you will go
i grinned.....

got me wondering though...if i really went into the house
would i stay unfucked by anoda cos Dee might watch/hear
or cos Mama Ibi might watch/hear
quite frankly Dee-much as i love you and we both know i will stay unfucked in the house(if i enter)cos i love love love making love to/with you...
its the mama Ibi situation dat will keep my pants up
cos if i stray i know you will forgive me
she wont............




some outfits i buy
just to wear for Dee
yup
if its really short and its not a pair of shorts
its just for Dee's eyes
if i've got mi boobs spilling out
its just for Dee's eyes

i recently allowed Akin talk me into these 2 gowns
both short
but.....not too short
a little more than i would normally do............
but i find that i'm looking forward to getting my sexy self into them clothes and getting *toasted*
wink

sex...candidate...24 vs 33...omoluabi...mirror...yellow...my girls

you walk into a room looking and smelling like sex
if an ex was there......
would it *all* be about him?
or are you just allowing yourself enjoy the shark frenzy?
especially since boyf is home with a fever?
i guess it's a little bit of everything........


and then when he(the ex) walks up to you to say
you look good.......
you flutter your lashes and say
i know

30 mins later he sends you an email
had to leave....you were giving me a woody..........

BINGO...........





and so my brother thinks i am a good candidate for bba6
i kinda think i would make interesting tv
but i guess if i ever went for bba
my mum would disown me
Ibi would forget the cameras
while i may not be the slut everyone hates but loves to watch
my mother wont forgive me the kisses i would steal.......wink




when i was 16
i told myself i wanted to get married at 24 to a man who is 33
i still prefer my men way older than me.....
mostly because older men know their own mind
.......a man has to be very sure of himself to handle ibi

younger men mostly irritate me
yea i like to say exasperate
but i'm mostly irritated


i turn 33 in a couple of months so if i am still hunting down
my perect age gap-he would be 42......
hence he must be married with kids...best case scenario widowed
cos the other options are divorced or seperated

so am i trying to snatch,share someone's father and claim him as my baby?
NO
my uncle got married 3 months ago
at 44 he was very single-never married-no kids
so if Baba Loke wants to grant my wish for an older man
he's out there.........

but if he thinks i am best suited to a 35,37,39 year old
i'll take him
i dont care for labels
i'll even take a 25 year old
heheheheeheheheheh





so HO told my pal that when we dated i didnt give a damn
so i sent him a lengthy email
met him at my Aunt's christmas party
one of the first things he told me was........
i dont drink....i dont smoke cos i am badddddd enuff without these vices
then he goes on to say
you know how people say omoluabi
i am omo without the luabi
which loosely translates to i am the baddest motherfucker you can lay your eyes on
my Aunt scolded,threatened,quarrelled with me over the thing we had relationship friends with benefits...fuckbuddies
but I had found out by then that the sex was great
and Ibi remembered that was *all* he put on the table
it was all i had to give as well


its been 9 years we were an item and he says
i didnt give a damn

i didnt

i mirror the men in my life

you give a damn-i will
you treat me like dirt-i will return the favour
before i kick ye to the kurb




my brother pulls his weight around the flat
i will cook him meals
he doesnt.........he starves


my father actually foots *a* bill
i will run my ass ragged when he sends me on errands
as he never does-i dont run errands


the man in my life gives a shit-i will
he acts like an ass-i will return the favour




hey Ubong....our friend is yellow




i'm slighty depressed at some shit that went down at work
i'm most upset with self cos i see now what i should have done to avert the shit hitting the fan

i dont wear my emotions on my face or sleeve but it slowly trickles into everything i touch

and my support group isnt doing much to get me out of this rabbit hole i have fallen into

been a while i updated
needed to vent....

i'm due for a day/nite out with my girls

calling them up now

we'll insult each other...tease each other mercilessly,laff and cry together and they'll give me the comfort i'm currently craving....

be back soon peeps...........wink

Club,PtP&PhD's,Connection,Details,Love

So my cousin is in town for a couple of weeks
after 9 years in the states
so we decided to treat him to a nite out on the town
na so i carry my tired bones and got
into some short shorts and 6 inch heels
even my best pal asked how i was gonna dance in them heels???
but with the help of a glass of vodka and cranberry juice
with lodsa ice and barbecue....
i managed 3 and a half hours of dancing
deejay didnt make me loose my head but he try sha

such a far cry from wearing a pair of jeans and sneakers
to a parry or club and dancing from 11pm till 5am

i don old o

heheheheheheheheheheheheh






i love PhD's
i Bless God that my man has one


i pride myself on my PtP
bite me if you dont believe it to be true


i cant stand PsD's
what does any woman need them for?


i feel sympathy for PsP's....
please visit Dr matlock




wonder what they mean?
pretty huge dick
pretty tight pussy
pretty small dicks
pretty slack pussy



10 signs of a Perfect Girl:
Truthful
Intelligent
Gentle
Humble
Talented
Polite
Understanding
Sexy
Smart
Youthful
In otherwords - T.I.G.H.T.P.U.S.S.Y!!

wink




the last man i told
i love you
responded by saying i think i love you
at that tyme it was all i expected of him
but then....months later..........i wanted more
and his thoughts were no longer enough for me


i do believe i have said those same words to a man recently
not sure if i have said it to his face though
aeons after he first said it to me
i do remember butterflies in my belly and my heart going fast
when i heard him say it
and i thought-oh hell no!!!!!.....you dont.....


i have heard that there is a difference between i love you
and
i am in love with you



i have found that it is easy to love someone
someone does you a good deed
u like dem so much....it feels like love....so you say it
even if you dont really mean it.....
i love you
someone saves you from a bad situation
i love you
you spend a lot of tyme with someone
i love you
but when these people move away or you lose touch
life goes on.....

but what is it that makes you pine for someone
after they have left your life

sometimes its not even love




my last boyf i pinned for......when it ended
but when i got over him i realised i was happy
we didnt end up as a couple
cos what we really were was acquaintances who enjoyed good sex


the reason why being with Dee is soooooo glorious is cos
with him............i am me

i can be goofy,silly,fart,dress like an ass,
speak like an uncultured slum rat
be this eloquent speaker,dress sexy,plain,official
he is the older brother i dont have
the friend i can get a man's perspective on.....on anything
the one i call when i am hurt,sad,hollow,exasperated,angry,horny,need advice,need to laugh,sometimes just to hear dat sexy voice
the one i am able to be me with....no airs
the one who has never once...judged me

i was thinking back and i realised its been
a while i had that kinda connection with a man
it occured to me that i have not in a long time
being the real Ibi with a man
what i am with him is the persona i decide to be
so it gets old after a while and i want out


unlike how i was with Star/Marl.....no airs.....
odd how i was me with first two guys
i dated and it just went downhill after dem two
sometimes i held back
sometimes i gave all of me and dem guys could not handle it
so i conformed to what seemed to suit them

but thing is Ibi is too old to play charades
you either love this small,shy,loudmouthed,foul mouthed
eloquent,lovely voiced,dirty minded,sexy,talkative,lazy,indecisive,
(there are more adjectives but my wrist don dey pain me)
sweet siren or you can go jump into the lagoon


feels great to have this again.....

its crazy how i was thinking forever with Mel
but i couldnt talk to him about everything and anything



Ubong wants to know why i only danced with my cousins at the club
told him i dont pick guys at clubs
i have gone out with guys i have met online
at alumni meetings
at other meetings
at office parties
at a friend's party
at the workplace
in uni
friends of friends
cos i need ur info
verified info before i set out on the date


i neva go anywhere or hang out outside my home after 7pm
without an sms or bbm to my cousin and my pal


they dont do same
but its an old habit
i always had to let mama know exactly where i was headed
guess it stuck with me

even with Dee outta town a lot
he usually has a pretty good idea where i is


but then i love this relationship because
we have no boundaries
but on the other hand
we do have boundaries neither of us will cross

do i experience jealousy sometimes? i do
does he? i hope so
do i experience an overwhelming need to possess?
when he impales(Ubong's favourite word) me....yesssssss
will i ever do anything to hurt him?never
just as i know for sure in my heart
hell would freeze over before he hurt me


oh and then again i agree with this....
"You know it's love when all you want
is that person to be happy,
even if you're not part of their happiness."
- Julia Roberts

See bucket of ice cream oo

Hey peeps
i have been away 3 months
DAYYUMMMM!!!!!!!!!!

in between being without impure thots cos of ramadhan-wink
and treating malaria back to back thrice
it was easy to neglect blogging

but The great has been bugging me to update
and he did promise me ice cream..........
oya o...as i don update.....if i no see ice cream
i will defriend you ooooooooooooo






had a convo with a group of guys
colleagues at work
3 married guys and a girl
the girl was venting
saying her hubby would be castrated
and be imprisoned if he strays and she catch am
so i asked.........castrated and imprisoned for what?
wetin the guy do whey he deserve such punishment?

as was expected, the guys hailed me and said please tell her jo
two of them go on to say
when their wives say
Dear Lord thank you for my hubby
they get scared........
well.....cos they know
they do the nasty with others
so it scares dem that their wives actually speak of them as loyal

the third guy didnt add his two pence
his marriage is younger
i think he hasnt strayed........(yet)


i am not saying men should cheat
i just dont see why a woman wont ask herself
*why* he is cheating
cos reasonable men *always* have a reason


she's hawter than wifey
finer,leaner,fleshier,curvier,lighter skinned,bigger boobs
whatever.....
she shares his hobby(s)
she loves to fuck
she fucks him silly
she is always ready to fuck
she fulfils his sexual fantasies
(yup-sex is a major reason why peepe cheat)
she listens to him
she feeds his ego
she babies him
she understands damage control
she says she's sorry and means it



so if he cheats
i hope you married your friend
so you can ask him why
and i pray he can be honest
cos every wise woman knows
you should neva allow your man's mind wander
their mind always gets lost
they have a short memory span

9 times out of ten
its old men that become senile

how many senile grandmothers do you know?


gramps had 3 wives............
no wonder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love you gramps
miss you like crazy
but i now see why you went that route.......
hmmmmmmmmmmm





A pal called me up on my birthday
to those of you who forgot....
you just dont care enuff in my books
and if na so-then na so
aguda o jeun labe geesi.......
friendship no be by force



Star surfaced on facebook
my very first boyf
i remember planning to elope with him
aeons ago....*fluttering lashes*
reality set in and several buxoms taller ladies later
we fell apart



whenever either of us was between relationships
its not like he was the best i eva had
but it was easy to fall back into his bed
last tyme we hooked up
all he wanted to do was get me pregnant
yup
he wanted me pregnant so we could tie the knot he said
he was tired of hopping around he said
i detested the fact that
he thought both parents would only be swayed by a pregnancy
to let us walk down the aisle
i didnt like the reason for the aisle walk
moreover i wasnt ready to be a mother
he wasnt ready to be a father either

a couple of months later he ranted...........
ranted about how i needed to get off the pill
or whatever i was using
he did said he was irate
all i saw in his features was...........relief




fast forward to today
the lovesick star is getting married sometime in 2011
i am soooooo looking forward to the the rice
(even though i was rooting for the babe before this one)
babe is hawt!!!!!!!!!!!
this one?
she will grow on me.....
he has chosen her......



if you think it odd
you dont know me..........those who do know
know that Ibi is a very good girlfriend
i stay cordial with every man i have ever fucked dated
except the one who could not fuck
the one who wants to marry me and leave me in california
(while he fucks every thing in sight in lagos)
the one who wanted to sleep with my mother
(sleeping with a mother and daughter ensures long life in his village)
and two guys who seem to have dropped off the earth's surface

and she(Ibi) will make some guy a very happy man soon
i also plan to be a fabulous mother
when i was 15
my goal in life was
*to be a wonderful wife and mother*

an aunt of mine has a very solid marriage
and all i see in her is
patience and wisdom
two virtues i have an abundance of
wink


my current goal?
i wanna be a billionaire so freaking bad
wink




shade and bukky are gisting
how i go dey help my mate?shade says
cos dude is probably a few years older than me
his wifey cant be much older than me
that is if she old reach me sef
so how i go dey help my mate or my junior?
she suppose fit fuck her dick well ke
and i wonder why her dick keeps saying
oh you are sooo tight
you are soooo wet
him wife neva born
wetin dey make her pussy untight?
abegi i tire
i don delete teh guy o
i cant justify to myself anymore this mate helping i dey do
i would rather help my aunty's mate jare
i was brought up to help my elders carry their load
not my mate
mschewwwwwwwwww



it took a lot of willpower for me not to laugh out loud








my closest female pal and i didnt speak for about 4 months
we exchanged emails,jokes,messages,or whatever catches our fancy
but no calls or hook ups

recently we had a reunion with a couple
of oda peeps and we all just synced

fast forward 2 weeks
she looses her job
i ask an innocent question and she starts to hyperventilate

i wonder what it is about me that gets her mad






Uti won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BBA5
me.....i am glad that arrogant short prick didnt win
who?
Munya

(people dey talk say Uti papa burial go rock!!!!!!!!!)
human beings!!!!!!!!!!!
wish him well
and i hope he dumps Sheila fast
i cant stand confused people

and if you are bisexual or gay
you are confused
Q.E.D

it is my blog
i can say what i like
if you dont like what i have to say
go and sit inside gutter water
if gutter no dey near you
drink battery water



remember that machine(mi car) i bought for my birthday last year?
i sold it
it was planning to give me hypertension
i have a wooden box
donations are welkome
Ibi needs a new ride



this year for mi birthday?
i shopped for new eyes,clothes,shoes and bags
taxi neva finish for Lagos



I hope i love sex as much as i do now when i get married
my mind is in a perpetual state of filth
it needs to be washed with izal,dettol,jik,persil,omo.....
all i see in my mind's eye is phallus
all i wanna do is cum cum cum
and oh dear
oh God
Oh my God
i am definitely currently having the bestest sex of my life
marra of fact
this guy makes love to me
its not just about getting sexually gratified
its its its..........cant fucking explain it......
mwah sweetim




my colleague is going away to born pikin
5 months she will be away
see how my life just got easier?????
i have her duties plus mine
they say i just got more relevant in the work place
so i should embrace it
i dont mind ooooooooooooo
i just need half of her salary..........

Baby....We not talking....My Past....Bullet...Cruella...

Always be my baby by Mariah Carey Cannon

you'll always be a part of me
i'm a part of you indefinitely
boy don't you know you can't escape me
ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
and we'll linger on
time can't erase a feeling this strong
no way you're never gonna shake me
ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

This song was the theme song for me and star
well it was the song in my head
everything i thought of him



I am still in love by new edition

I'm still the man for you
And I'm still the man that's true
And I'm still the man who's lucky
And I'm still in love with you
It don't matter what your friends do
They're just jealous of me and you
And I'll always keep you happy
'Cause I'm still in love with you
I'm still in love

this was the song in my head when
he left me for a jambite

i heard the first song whilst
getting my nails done today
and i remembered him
star
i loved dat man
first cut is the deepest they say

but my mum would never have let us be
t'wasnt cos he was a xtian
it was cos he was 19 i was 18
and we both had AS as genotypes
he turned 33 a few hours ago
8th aug
i decided not to facebook or email him

i dont care for ex's dat dont keep in touch
just a line
email,messenger,facbook-something
and then when i drop a line
they ignore it?
or take me off their friend list
i guess its cos some people need closure
i am not built that way
i dont go having relationships
with every thing that has a third leg

so it irritates me
when a person i consider friend
takes me off their list
or ignores my emails/sms/facebooking etc
just cos he considers me an ex?
i would have thought i the female
should be the one exiting people

i have always being a very good girlfriend
the relationship mite not work
but if it wont, i dont wanna stop being friends

i wont be all up in ur biz
but actually removing me from ya friends list is
unpardonable in my books
mcshewwwwwwwww


oh and i always remember people's bday's
but in the last year
i decided
u forget mine
i forget urs
Q.E.D
that is also an unpardonable crime in my books
send an email,flash me,text me,facebook me
do something
but if you forget the day i was born
i will forget yours
and even if its a cruise you invite me to
i aiint coming

i choose my friends carefully
so if anyone wants to defriend me
good ridance




which brings me to my pal
we havent talked in a little over 2 weeks
well we went at each other pretty much
i just told her some shit she was always getting herself into
and she decided to recount how i was celibate for 8months
cos no guy wanted my punani
and how i used to have flings
and how i used to..........

so i told her
pretty much used to
you still havent learnt from your mistakes seemingly
i learnt from mine

i love sex
but i always know when a man is around me
just for sex
and it is possible to have something deep
with a person which no one else undertands
which wont lead to the altar
people dont need to understand why/how each person lives dia life

but i just am tired of listening to her bemoan her single status
and i think she looks for a husband in every 3rd legged homo sapiens

she buys a wedding dress (in her mind)
with every guy that says hi to her
it irritates me to my core
na so to marry dey hungry person?
you meet a guy monday
and by friday you are checking out
if his crib looks like it is ready for female habitation?

oh well
the last tyme she upped away from my friendship
she didnt speak to me for a year
she came back after she broke up with
her then boyfriend of 9yrs
oh i was also accused of being happy
that said relationship didnt lead to the altar
even though i found out about the break up
5months after it happened


i dont do female drama well
i may have my own share
but i have too much male in me to handle it
so when a friend/relative lays down the drama queen attitude?
i ignore them



I stole this-its cute!!!!!

My Past....

I do not fear it

Rather.....

I embrace it

Because whether I triumphed or

whether I screwed up

I cannot change it now

But it has made me strong

It is…………………

MY PAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






i have a new vib
remember how i gave the old one
too much love and killed it?
i dont like dildos
but my clitoris and my new toy
are great friendssssssssssss
wink




Cruella?
spawn of the devil?
she dey.....
we are pretty much keeping each other at arms length
i love the new Ibi vs Cruella office mood

Its On...Wicked....Married vs single.......Sneaky....

I've got on red nails
i've got on a sleek hairdo
i've a mini dress
i'm gonna pamper my skin
then get a bikini wax.....
its on dearie.....it's on....
wink



She's soooooooo wicked
If i was dating a married man
i wouldn't encroach on his personal space
See...Dad had 2 other mum's
Mum had 2 other mum's
so i come from a generation of women who share
friends find it odd when i say i can share
my very first boyfriend couldnt understand
why i never got mad when he cheated on me
if i asked...did you? and he says...no
it was all i wanted to hear
it meant(to me)
if i was married to his ass
she was still a girlfriend or a mistress
def not a mate(for me)


squeeze your face all you want
spit all you want
i come from a family of women who share
and i have no issues sharing if i have to
i just want the sharing to be fair


so back to my story
if i was dating a married man
and his wife's pic is his screensaver
it would not bother me
if i was dating a married man and he,wifey and the kids
did london-dubai-US for three weeks and all i get is a perfume
it would not bother me
if i was dating a married man and he talked about his plans
his dreams,his biz and all this had wifey and kids in it and no me
it would not bother me
if i was dating a married man and he always had money for madam and the kids and all i ever get is a measely financial boost one every few months it wouldnt bother me

i would enjoy every minute i get with him
not mind (so much)about the dates that get canclled
cos jnr fell ill or daughter had a recital he couldnt miss
or madam needed him at home to put on the gen


you know why?
she freaking owns him
and he owes her.....
he swore before God and man to be there for her....always
and his *unborn children*
what I have with him I cant justify when i go down on my knees
what she has with him she can justify everyday....to everyone
and to the *supreme being*

i digress....
its hard to judge why people cheat on their spouses
or why single people date married people
some girlfriends will become second,third or fourth wives
some girlfriends will be elevated to mistresses
some will bear the term the *the mother of my children*
some girlfriends will have their relationship fizzle out
some girlfriends will eventually become that girl you used to shag
but whose husband you now play golf with
the one who helps your wife understand you berra
is there when you need someone to talk to
but cos you are both married
neither of you will cheat on their spouse



I consider her a friend-she's like the sister
i dont have
everyone else in my life doesnt get me as much as she does
.......but when she told me
she sent an sms to her Tolu's wife (her married boo's wife)
...........*i'm pregnant for Tolu*

i told her
she is wicked
i still cant comprehend it
then she says
her emotions run deep
she wants him to marry her
she is mad about having aborted the pregnancy last yr
(i just found out about this abortion)

granted wifey calls her up
send curses her way....etc
but wifey can do that shit
even though her pulling such stunts means she's crass
cos women who have class know...
if u are mad at hubby
*punish ur man*
ignore the litle hussy who has her claws in ur man
oh did i tell u
when Tolu needs to go out and
he sends an sms to wifey saying where he is gonna be
it annoys my pal

did i mention
said pal was devastated by her father's
actions when he got a second wifey cos
her mama was relegated to the warehouse
(felt like it)

stupid girl probably doesnt remember what
it was like growing up in her home anymore
she has her eyes set on becoming the *other* woman

i'm appalled at her
i'm mad at her
i'm surprised that she learnt nurrin
from her parents's situation
and i still think
she is down right wicked





when i get invited to a wedding
if the groom is my pal and i know only him
chances are.....i wont attend
i just appreciate being invited
if the bride is my friend and i know only her
chances are.....i wont attend
i just appreciate being invited
but i will buy the aso ebi
if i and some other peeps are friends with
either or both the groom and or bride
chances are.......i will attend
I and other friends can keep ourselves company
if the couple forgets to plan for us
i've been to weddings that i dont even get a sip of water
sorry folks
bad planning by couple
cos your friends wont chase after the caterer or your mama
so if noone is detailed to entertain them
they will share your happy day but
stay hungry and dehydrated

but..........
what is it with peeps who get married and dont tell you?
it feels sneaky...........i hate sneaky
i understand about peeps needing to have quiet weddings
i understand about peeps not wanting you at their weddings
but you can send me an sms,mail,chat,post,ping,buzz
i'm getting married soon
dont even hint me about date or venue
i'll know you informed me even if you didnt invite me
i get so upset when i get to facebook
and another status has changed
i guess people forget to invite peeps
once again
all i need is to be informed
i dont need to be invited
i may not even honour the invite
but when i dont hear about it and a week later
your status changes on facebook
it upsets me
cos i care....
becos you see only the people i care about
......are able to hurt me
with their words and or deeds
it tells me said friend doesnt care as much as i do

my friend tells me to shut up about it
i wont invite everyone she tells me
i know i wont
i honestly want a wedding of about 30 people
but my mum gets to be mother of the bride once
me
so i may have to let her invite the
whole town like i know she wants,needs to
but we may compromise
i really would love a nikkah of about 30 peeps
then a big reception(to please my mum and the clan)
months or even a year later.....

but i'm not bothering myself about it yet anyways
i need me a yam supplier first
(42 tubers of yam)

Lion King,Preggies,Passwords,

Finally saw lion king at my salon
yup i know..........
where have i been?
i have no idea.....



Had another convo with my uncle
his take....pregnant women are delicious
he says if a man has a long dong
all he needs to do is stay away from his wife in her first trimester
soon as she hits the 4th month or did he say 5th month?
he can carry go....shagging as he pleases
.....his take...a pregnant woman secretes more
hence allowing for berra lubrication
and preggies enjoy the sex too
so why say cos wifey is preggers; no sex
please try it he advises
you shall not be disappointed he assures you

oh he also said some babies have come screaming
into this world with semen all over them
(now i know why his wifey had those miscarraiges)
my uncle has a long dong
my uncle has a long dong
wink



so why do people put passwords on their fones?
it irritates the shit outta me
i tried it once
doesnt work for me
having to put a password in, every tyme
i needed to make a call or send an sms
was frustrating for me
the password lasted 20mins
wink



i dont scroll thru people's stuff
its just not me

i however hate it
absolutely hate it when people go thru my stuff
fones,drawers,bag in my absence
in part cos i always place things a certain way
so, if that order is tampered with
it annoys the shit outta me

but if someone wants to read my emails,sms,go thru my pics
help yaself
anything you see that bothers you
please take it to your grave
remember ignorance is bliss
and opening pandoras box always
brings on grave consequences




sigh..........
this thrush has refused to go away
need to see my doc....i ususally dont self medicate
but how many women dont self medicate when it comes to thrush???
its like part of our daily lives.....
maybe i can sneak in a pap smear
wink

Mi Blog is Three!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Blog is 3 today
Yippie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


He is fabulous with his tongue
he has a small phallus(she told me)
he is possessive
checks her fone,stresses over everything
wonders how as a markerter in a bank
she seems homely

his possessiveness drove her nuts and she said HELL NO
after all the dick no dey *fill* her neways

8 months later he marries his ex

he's been married about 10 months now
and word from him is his wife has not fucked him in 8 months
not even a kiss he says
his ex(my pal) and i are wondering if na the smallness of the dick
dey cause marital issues
why she marry am?
cos no sex after ONLY 2 months of marital bliss?
or is she pregnant?
well we didnt ask cos some wives tend to close shop
when they get pregnant
but then again
is it a case of two sexually incompatible people getting married?
but why do men marry women with whom they are not sexually compatible?

but like my cousin says........wives change........

my cousin told me
these days after 2 kids he has to beg for *it*
sometimes he needs to buy a gift for wifey
before she lets him have sum
this is a woman who would give it to him just about everywhere
and anytyme when they were dating
so is it the kids that tire her so much???
i no know why her man has to beg for it o
he confessed to loving the tyme work sent him to SA
he sowed his oats he says.......
now he is back and he is begging for it all over again
for some reason he has no plans to cheat on her in naija
but he is running out of his mind..........




i KNOW there's more to a marriage than sex
but THUNDER fire anyone that tells me
IT IS NOT IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!


colleague of mine
his wife had a miscarriage after 3 months
when she got pregnant the second time
*his words*............she closed shop
up and down shop he says
she for at least open the top shop he said
but she was sore.....
shop was closed for 9 months and now the baby is here
shop is still closed.......
(i know there is a 6 week no sex after baby rule)
its been 3 months since the baby came
he MUST be a saint cos i know him well enuff(i think) to know
he probably has mastered the art of masturbating
or he just cant,wont sleep with others to let go of his sexual tension
cos he tells me almost on a daily,how sexually frustrated he is
i always give him a great big hug and tell him to hang in there.....


another colleague has the same scenario
miscarriage and shop closed
but with him???all he needs is a willing female
who knows??? he may already have a few....




I love sex......after i discovered it...
i keep wondering if pregnancy and kids
will keep away from *my* phallus
cos i know when i decide to have and to hold
one for the rest of me life
its gotta be a pretty good specimen
else why would i wanna forsake all others???
so if i decide to forsake all others
how can he be sexually frustrated if we are in the same bed???
ok fine-some days/nights-one or both of us is too tired
some days/nights...one or both of us is mad....so there will be no soundtracks
some days/nights...I or he will be away
i can understand a few days of madness in personal lifes and no sex happens

but
man
woman
bed
court documents signed to say sex is legal
yams exchanged
dowries paid in families where dowries are accepted

and one month
two months
then to hear 8 months
NO FREAKING NOOKIE?????

WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO???????




wives stop letting those women outside outshine you jo
so even if and when he gets sum on the outside
because some men will...........



homeboy knows for sure that when he gets home
madam will fuck him like a porn star!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








I know someone who is in love with a man who has
4 wives and 9 children
She is seperated from her own husband
her husband has remarried or is currently cohabiting
with another woman who has a son for him
and he is asking for a divorce

what i dont understand is
she gets into a relationship after her seperation and it is
with a man with 4 wives????

cos for a woman to be number 5
guy must have DIRTY MONEY
wrinkle your nose all you want
shake your head if you will
but something must make a woman wanna be number 5
if you dont know what i mean
ever been near a compost heap?
see how bad it smells and affects you?
yels money that does that to a person
heheheheheheeheheheh


i'm a muslim.....almost everyone i'm related to
is a polygamist
i come from a world where polygamy
is encouraged and accepted



man takes a second wife...no need to crucify him
if we are able to know the inner workings of the man's mind
more often than naught...he has a valid reason....
hard to believe i know
wrinkle your nose
shake ya head
spit on the floor if you will
if the guy is not a promiscous fuckhead
there is usually a valid reason......Q.E.D

but when he takes a third and a fourth
he is either a confirmed polygamist.....hehehehehehe
or a KING



so help me ask this person i know
is madness worrying her?
she has been crying ooooo
begging him(Mr 4 wives) to come back
cos her elder sister made a big fuss and
Oga said im no do again
me i dey wonder gan ni
number 5?
9 children?
so her kid if any...will be number 10?

if his money isnt smelling...yea dirty money smells....
there is no basis for number 5ism

cos if he is a pussy eater
he probably has eaten 4 pussys before he heads to yours
if he is a kisser
that 4 pussy eating mouth will pass you saliva????


AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

abi i lie?

dick enter pussy 1,2,3,4 then hers
mouth chop pussy 1,2,3,4 then hers
mouth exchanges saliva with mouth 1,2,3,4 then hers
moreover if he's shagging her(she's not his wife is she?)
then he is shagging others!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and (whisper)your average married man doesnt use condoms
well he's gotten used to, not needing to wear the damn thing
matter of fact....most married phalluses detest *the sheath*
I hear peeps attest to it(men and women alike)
once you put a sheath on such a dick
dick goes to sleep
so her own Oga is probably going sheathless
into some 5 pussys and counting????


Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh the things we endure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes...............we....
you,I and all of us whey dey shag.........

Polygamy,Puker,Preggy,Marriage,Webcams....

So my uncle says
polygamous men live longer lives

with one wife
she could kill him so she can get all he has
with 2 wives
if one is trying to do away with him
the other is making sure he stays alive
with three
even better..........
all 3 wives want him around long enuff...else
who will fend for their upkeep with him gone???

and he ended the convo by saying he is getting himself
wife number two a few years from now
sigh





i was one of those irritating kids
if we went to a petrol station
i will puke

if i went on a plane ride
i will puke

if it was a bus ride,so long as i had a meal
before embarking on the journey
i will puke

if a man decidded to puff beside me
i will puke

lucky me-papa didnt smoke
uncles who did............
stayed away from me

i can now feast before and during plane rides,bus rides
trips to the petrol station
without puking

as for men who smoke
i've dated and even dreamt of being married to 3

see how people change





My Pal is pregnant!!!!!
happy for her
At first she was sad
now she seems resigned to the situation
her fiance is not around
so i guess the idea of long cold alone nights
na im cause all the cry cry
i sooooo look forward to seeing her with her bump
heheheheheheeheh





Am i weird
i honestly dont give a damn about the institution marriage....yet
my cousin disgusts me
every freaking sentence
she cant wait to be outta here
in her own home
she cant wait to be married
funny thing is
she doesnt look,act the part(potential wife)
wish her well sha..........na she sabi

...i keep telling people to stop being worried
for me
i'm not worried.......werrin dia own??
coupledom will happen for me
cos even the Lord knows i'm not yet mentally and emotionally ready
dats why he's keeping the yam buyer away
(yup...........future husband of mine owes my family 42 tubers of yam)
wink





as for webcams
mine suppose don blow
the things we get up to...
kai...............

Stroll,Fela,M-word,Compromise....

Took a stroll after dinner this evening
saw two couples
different distances
couple one hugging by the roadside
one half had to be headed off to theirs
other couple downstairs in the dark
and i thought....cute

but....a roadside hug mean say
them no get motor(heheheheheheheh)
and a downstairs in the dark hug mean say
make mama and or papa no catch them...
hehehehehehehehehehehehehe

mind me not
just feeling evil

must be all the pettyness Cruella spreads my way
must be rubbing off.....






I MISS FELA ANIKULAPO KUTI
his music.......
used to own a few tapes
cant find my old tapes
need to go get me some cd's
i remember boyfriend i was dating then
used to say i acted possessed whilst listening to his music
guy threathened to throw my tapes out
kept my tapes away from him
and indulged in my obsession or possession whenever he wasnt around
wink





When a guy stops taking your calls,wont email,text,visit....
is he breaking up with ya?
I think he is.....
My cousin finally read the writing on the wall
guy is an ass though
a man can get most things he wants without dangling the M word
cos when you do dangle then misbehave....i really just wonder
i know some men do that, cos it seems thats all the girl wants to hear
i think its decidedly evil though to dangle the M word with a babe
who is soooooo ready to be married
when there are soooooooo many other girls that will let you do as you please
with each realising thats all there is to it......sex and or friendship
no in-laws,no wedding,no kids ever.....

but then again, why is that once *sum* babes dont hear Marriage dey wont date
NOT EVERY MAN IS USEFUL FOR THE LONG HAUL
sometimes all a man is good for......is his dick
sometimes his money
sometimes he can get you up the corporate ladder
or he is just that darling friend who helps you sieve the good from the bad
cos,well he is male.....
cos they have a code-a man always knows-
so whenever your male friend tells you to let that guy go
drop him fast.........








Lynette of desperate housewives can always get Tom to do what she wants
its like, what she says is what gets done
Tom says letting her get her way makes her feel safe
cos her childhood was wack

In will you merry me?
The fathers told the son
the secret to a happy marriage is deciding if you wanna be right or happy

so they choose to be happy
hence they let their wives get away with most things

isnt that a *white* thing
In Naija...........what the guy wants, is all that matters...true?



I think in every relationship
there has to be balance.........compromise
with each couple there should always be the one dat can back down first
so peace can reign......

I like to talk things through when i'm calm
I hate to argue when i'm angry or mite get angry
at that point-silence is what i'll dish out
but when i'm calm...........
i can be sooooo annoying
cos i wont stop talking till u see it my way
or pretend to see it my way
and i'll enjoy it immensely cos i'm calm and
whoever it is,is probably pissed or headed there....
*evil grin*