I was warned..................

So its been raining or drizzling
while i aiint salt
i dont like to get wet,damp or whatever
so i have been taking cabucabu .........

there's this bad patch on the way
its really bad
keeps getting worse
its been know to swallow SUV's
how much more cabucabu that
apapa trailers will blow away..........lol

ps:if u know anyone that owns a picanto
advice that person not to pass tincan,apapa route ooooooo

the car will be blown away
(I hate the vehicle)
it's tiny
any one who knows me knows i like big things
.....*cough*..........*wink*........

oh ok i digress...

so i engage this cabucabu and dude and i agree on 300 naira
......i let him pick other passengers on the way cos
he wanted 500 naira......

journey was smooth
no old papa to harass this tyme....*wink*.....

we get to the bad patch
i pretend to be engrossed in a novel

he GRUMBLES ALL THE WAY
at a point i felt we were gonna topple into the water......

we made it safe across........
then got to my destination
i alighted.....
paid and just as he received his fare he goes

Aunty..ni ojo imi ti e ba ri mi ni garagi wa
ema pemi kin gbe yin wa sibi yi
ona yin yen ko da rara o
mi o le ti tori ise 300 ki lo tun motor se fun 3000

Aunty...next time you get to our garage
dont engage my services to bring you here
i will not fix my car for 3000 naira
just cos of a 300 naira trip
the road is pretty bad


i just dey laff......

he kept shaking his head as he drove away
to face the bad patch again........

that was yesterday
today i swam across in my rain boots
and took a bike the rest of the way
i did see cabs at the garage but i was afraid

i remember baba's threat
i could have been lynched if i had tried
to get a cab cos i know baba must have spread the word

so u see
me sef dey fear small...........sometimes.......

*wink*...........

Tease............

He glanced across the table at her,she was spooning sorbet into her mouth. A small glob of it clung to her upper lip which she licked it off with the tip of her tongue. He watched her facinated and as he did, he experienced the most extraordinary physical attraction to her..... He was filled wit a fierce desire to make love to her...........

this is an excerpt from a novel........

it reminded me of......



it was www.whisper2u.com.........
my profile name drew his attention.....he buzzed....i responded
.....he was funny......i was doing the nysc thingy then...was looking forward to it ending and me getting a job.....he was with an advert agency(the first ad guy i dated).....i was fascinated with his job......he was the first man to say 'i lie for a living....lieing comes easy to me'...(2nd ad guy also said this to me once).....every ad guy i know......says 'models are good for the job but i dont date them'......'i prefer regular girls'.........

we would makes dates online ....hook up to the net and chat for hours.....3months later we exchanged numbers.....his voice i liked....6months later.....he called....i was just leaving my cousin's......thats really close to where i work-he said,why dont we hook up for lunch...i wasnt keen but he was persistent...so i headed there.....he was good looking(thank God) and tall...*cough*....we sat down...food was great...he was suppossed to head back to work but we were enjoying each other's company.....to prolong the date-he switched off his phone and we decided to have a drink......i was having such a great time......3hours later-i have go i said.... ok he said but give me a few mins to compose meself-i cant get up....i asked 'y'.....he asked if i really wanted to know...yes i said cos i couldnt understand this sudden need to sit tight and not get up....he pushed back his seat...i saw it...a lovely woody...i was stunned...i did dat i asked??...yea he said...when i asked?.....while u were eating he said..he said the idea of a drink was to give him tyme but whilst we drank and talked...it ony got worse.....i laughed.....secretly pleased...I...MOI...gave a guy i just met a woody just by spooning rice into my mouth&talking(not like i dont know what me voice can do to a man sometymes....*wink*)...what was it exactly i asked...ur eyes...mouth and voice he said...(my head swell).......

we agreed i should give him a few minutes to compose himself so i took a walk to look around...he met up with me and we headed...i was gonna take a cab home he insisted lets head to his place..i knew he only wanted me to pay for the woody......i said i needed to get a million things done.....he gave me this puppy dog look and i obliged him....company was good...flat was ok...he put on a movie...points for him it wasnt porn....we talked...he asked to kiss me......awwwwwwwwww i thought...he did......

i didnt particularly enjoy the kiss cos he was going too fast..i tod him so..he slowed down the tempo...i liked what his hands were doing to me.....i got up to pee and to make sure i was 'clean' incase his pink muscle was gonna say hi to my clit(i noticed he went into his room-to prepare the slaughter slab i am sure).......went back to the living room....making up was slow then fast and furious......i was loving it...he picked me up-he didnt halt the kiss(points for that)...next thing i know i was against cool sheets....he stripped me slowly....we touched,licked groped,sucked....his fingers down there was bliss......then the pink muscle....'sigh'.....t'was.....t'was.....t'was.....then....i saw bright lights......i felt goooooodddddd....decided to return the favour....stripped him but left his briefs on........

....i touched,groped,licked,sucked everywhere except his shaft......he was squirming.....then......i got up to pee(i'm sure he was like what kinda wickedness is this*&^%$£)....cleaned me self up....went back in.....started to dress up....what are u doing he said...i'm sorry.....its late i need to get home-it's 8pm already.....are u just gonna let me hang he asked...i'm sorry i said...i agreed to lunch..i didnt sign up for a great fuck...maybe some other tyme i said...he got up noticed i was dead serious then went to get himself off...met me in the living room a while later...told him not to bother about dropping me off....we found a cab....i got a passionate good bye kiss.....get her home safe he said...cab driver cooed all the way to me home about how lucky i am and how much my husband must love me......i had this huge smile on me face.......called when i got home and he said...now i like u more.....i was soooooooooo sure i was gonna get some tonight...he said he couldnt phantom not tapping that booty........

but i could have raped you you know...i said the thought didnt cross my mind....u know what ibi...next tyme i catch u...u wont get away so easy..........that was the whole idea though...keep him guessing.....so he comes back for more.....*wink*.....

FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i've got nurring much to say

my itch is still dia

my crystal ball still hasnt come up with a face

it looks like i aiint getting any

i will survive this drought

going celibate is not an option

ignoring the itch hardly helps

lately i've been admiring this good looking brother
that works in a differnt branch of my firm-its not
like i need him to scratch my itch....

i just like watching him walk.....*sigh*..the swagger


well Enigma....this is for you.....




A chicken and egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette
with a satisfied smile on its face, while the egg is frowning and
looking slightly annoyed. The chicken turns over on its side and mutters,
"Well, I guess that solves that debate."




Jack decides to go skiing with his buddy Bob. They load up Jack's
station wagon and head north. After driving for a few hours, they get
caught in a terrible blizzard. They pull into a nearby farmhouse and
ask the attractive lady of the house if they can spend the night.

"I'm recently widowed," she explains, "and I'm afraid the neighbors
will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Not to worry," Jack says, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."

Nine months later, Jack gets a letter from the widow's attorney. He
calls up his friend Bob and says, "Bob, do you remember that
good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?"

"Yes, I do," Bob says.

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the
house and have sex with her?" Jack asks.

"Yes, I have to admit that I did," Bob says.

"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?" Jack
asks.

Bob's face turns red and he says, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."

"Well, thanks a lot, pal…” Jack says. “She just died and left me her
farm."



A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, ready to consummate
their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession
to make, I’m not a virgin.”

The husband replies, “That’s not a big deal in this day and age.”

The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.”

“Oh yeah? Who was the guy?”

“Tiger Woods.”

“Tiger Woods, the golfer?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed
with him.”

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

“What are you doing?” asks the wife.

The husband says, “I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and get
something to eat.”

“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

“He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make
love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. “Now what are
you doing?” she asks.

The husband says, “I’m still hungry so I was going to get room service
to get something to eat.”

“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

“He’d come back to bed and do it again.”

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more
time.

When they finish he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone
and starts to dial.

The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?”

“No! I’m calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn
hole.”

From Baroque...............

Your favourite childhood memory – having a ball at my 5th buffday parry

Wash your face or rinse you mouth, which you do first in the morning – take a leak

The scariest moment of your life – being asked by a thug *why the hell do u wanna get down from the bus*(shuo should i stay.... so he would rob me*&^%$#)

One word that best describes you – HORNY AS A BITCH

Your favourite month of the year – October

Your favourite number -7

The nicest thing anyone ever said to you – all the compliments I need to thrive on …I tell meself

Current relationship status – happily single

What exactly are you wearing right now – shirt and pants-both in brown

What is your current problem – how to scratch this *itch*..........

What do you love most – GOD, family, money & most def boffing……*wink*…

If you could go back in time and change anything, what would it be? Agberos off the roads and bring WAI back.....

If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would you be? A pussy is what i am...*wink*...

Name an obvious quality you have – Diplomacy

Are you musically inclined? I love my music

The name of the song that's stuck in your head right now – Party Rider-9ice

Name someone with the same birthday as you – Bisi

Do you have a crush on someone? – does wanting his phallus in me everytyme I hear his voice count as a crush????....*wink*….

Have you ever been in a fight? I am a lady….hell no!!!!!!!!!

What is the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex? How tall he is….it translates to how *cough* he is..........

One of the biggest mistakes you’ve made – no regrets man………..

What do you think about prostitutes? – if you sell a product no one wants to buy, wont you become bankrupt????

Say something very random about you? …I stained me pants….(get ur mind outta the gutter)…with veggie soup……lol

Your favourite part of your body – My laps.........

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Nah….their kinda money my way but not the fame………..

Are you comfortable with your height? Yea…cant do shit about it……

What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you? Gave me a cold bath all thru the night whilst I battled a fever….

What is your favourite smell? On me or on him????

Have you ever been rushed to the emergency room? Cut me self on a glass cup and joggedto the nearest hospital for a stitch…does this count????

Why are you answering all these questions? To update me blog……….

i tag.......Enigma,smaragd,afrobabe,fff,lg,shiraoko,freaksho.......

Lawyers wanted please!!!!!!

Hi peeps i had a restful weekend
how was urs???
i so need to get *a good boffing* soooooonnnnn

cos i sexually harrassed a man i had no attraction for

it rained
had to take a cab
one of those cabucabu where you sit 2 in the front

journey is going on smooth....
then.....papa hits me with left shoulder smack on *my twins*

so i decided to be naughty..........
i jammed them into his back
he reached for his money staying as
far away from the twins as he could

soon as he was relaxed.........i jammed them into him again
this continued thru the 10min ride
him pulling away.........me jamming them into his back


for the life of me i dont know why i did that to papa
was it cos i am horny as hell
was it to punish him
or was i just looking for a sexual harrassment lawsuit&^%$#@*&


....*wink*...........

UNA NO VOTE ABI????????????

Hi people............

una no vote for me abi?
for www.blogvilleidol08.blogspot.com

i dey go VILLAGE for ALL of una
as una know say una no go vote
when i talk say i wan sing
una for tell me say
no sing o..........
we no go vote o.......

i come go finish
una do me
ma lo....awa le hin e
na so i look back.........i no see person

i dey vex gannnnnnnnnn........

i no go blog again sef...........

cos na so i go say i wan turn
chief or mistress of this our obodo
una go do me wayo again
mschewwwwwwww...........


but sha
as una no vote for me
continue..........
cos no matter wetin happen
one person must carry bucket sorry cup
at the end of the whole thing

so.......go dia.....go vote

but no forgeti dey go villa this sat
FOR ALL OF UNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey peeps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

have u all been to www.blogvilleidol08.blogspot.com

its HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know i promised to do a proper post today

couldnt get to it

maybe tom!!!!!!!!!!\



MWAH................

BLOGSVILLE IDOLS 2008

DONT IGNORE THE DATE ON ME BLOG HEADER


I GOT IT RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WWW.BLOGVILLEIDOL08.BLOGSPOT.COM

LOL..........................

BLOGSVILLE IDOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LISTEN ON MON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VOTE FOR IBILUV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What to say!!!!!!!

Have bloggers block..........

sent in my song
one minute they said

mine came up to 22secs

sent in another version

hope its longer

anyways
i am just saying
if my song is 22secs long
dont mean u guys shouldnt vote for moi!!!!!!!!!!

proper post coming up on mon

not looking forward to tom(sat)
ignore tha date on me blog header

need to change it somehow
have training-work related
and i got the mail 450pm


how fair is that?????

wish u all a *soundtrack* filled weekend!!!!!!!!!!

BLOGSVILLE IDOLS 2008

I AM SOOOOOOOO GONNA BE IN IT



CHECK OUT www.blogvilleidol08.blogspot.com



VOTE FOR MOI




MWAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feeler?????????Visualiser?or..........

some people are feelers-they love to touch/grab/hug
some are visualisers-they love what they see
some are audio(cant remember)-they are in love
and are good with words

heard this on *moments with mo* over the weekend
and it got me thinking...........

i like to touch and be touched but i'm more comfortable
commiting all kinds of touchry in private

i like hugs but i'm not prone to giving or taking them freely

i have also been known to act kinda cold in the midst of people

so i have discovered i am not a feeler............

i do like to look at good stuff
but i prefer words.....thats the audio stuff i forgot

i love sms's,mails..sometymes i dont even say all i wanna with
a fone call sometymes cos i can be a very private person

if you call moi at work...i may cut you short
you call me and i am in company of someone....i may cut you short
but while i dont subscribe to 1230-430am calls(except4special people)

my best fone conversations are between 10pm and midnight
then i am relaxed......probably on my bed....uninhibited
thats me at my best....

so the thing is......how do you know which one you are
and which one ur partner/boyfriend/shagger/fuckmate is???

cos the key to a good relationship
is understanding which you are and which he/she is
so you balance it out


wit my first i remember dropping little notes in shoes,shirt pockets,pants,bags,books and while he would
find them later and say thank you,grin at moi
and grab moi....he never did such for me....
after a while i didnt bother no more......
he asked why...i said cos u didnt appreciate it.....
he said he does but he just isnt good with words.....

which brings me to........
just cos a person doesnt love you the way you want
doesnt mean they dont love you with all they have......

cos the only thing that makes life worth living
is a deep and enduring love.......


even if for most of us..........
we can only be sure of God's love
and the love of our family..........

but for those of us hoping......s
he/he's out there...........*wink*

ADVERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I see people dropping out of blogsville cos of anons and it just amuses me
....there is bliss in ignorance you know....blogging is a release.....
i dont need some asswipe telling me shit....

thats why ONLY bloggers are allowed to drop comments here.....
by the way i hate that word verification shit on some blogs....
..........so even though anyone can read what i write....
i only wanna hear the thots of pple i can write back to....
so anons talk all u like...i cant hear you and it suits me............





Blogsville idols 2008 i am soooooo gonna be in it...
someone needs to teach me how to send my songs in.................
details on opeke's blog and pinksatin's blog






SHAGGER WANTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A good looking Shaggee is horny-in need of a Shagger....

Shagger must be 5'7 or more, dark(she doesn't relish the idea of a pink phallus),goodlooking wit a reasonably sized phallus......

Shagger must understand Shaggee's nipples need not be torn off to prove he can suckle-he only needs to deal with them with the aim to give pleasure.....

Shagger must b nail-less or keep cropped clean nails and hands.Shagger must have perfected the art of cunnilingus-only lips and tongue are allowed on Shaggee's clitoris....

Fingers are off limits to Shaggee's clitoris...job description of Shagger's fingers is to find Shaggee's g-spot..... Please note that gnashers are off limits around Shaggee's genitalia....

Shagger must understand that while Shaggee doesn't expect him to be clean shaven,bushes down dia and in the armpit are so last century......

Shaggee expects to be had in a neat environment....Fresh breath is expected at all times-if in doubt ask Shaggee for tom tom or gum cos she relishes good long kisses......slobbering is not allowed....

Shagger must have perfected the art of changing pace and style but when Shaggee stops or halts a sequence-it may be bcos sequence is doing nothing for her,she is bored or in pain-pain is no gain during the do...

Shaggee doesnt mind being had anywhere as long as no pictures or videos of her are taken/made......This is cos her sex life stays seperate from her workplace,acquaintances,family and friends.......Shaggers who kiss and tell are not welcome to apply............

Interested Shaggers should send in their notice of interest with their needs and preferences.....from the notes sent in,Shaggee will pick a Shagger which may suit her style...

if you are not called,not to worry there is a waiting list....pls note that Shaggee prefers men that can call her up to say lets do this tonight,this morn/week...she likes to play coy and will not suggest a rematch-it is expected he suggests one and many others.....if Shaggee refuses a rematch-u were not good the first tyme....loose her number..........

Please note that sex is sex....Shaggee is not looking for a boyfriend or a husband(yet or thru this means)....if at some point Shagger becomes confused and starts to develop feelings...please inform Shaggee,she may feel the same....be sure to know that if Shaggee develops those feelings,Shagger will be informed......If it suits them both this contract shall end and a relationship shall begin....the idea of going incommunicado or suddenly becoming busy is childish....

If Shaggee calls/texts/mails Shagger please note she is not suggesting a rematch....Shagger should be able to carry on a lively conversation with Shaggee.....Rematch(es) are the sole responsibility of Shagger....Shaggee doesnt see why a friendship can't be maintained with Shagger.....


Please note that in the event a contract is signed now but sometime in the future Shaggee becomes Shagger's sister in-law,friend's wife or some other relationship....Shaggee will acknowledge knowing Shagger-dont act like you dont know Shaggee,but contract cannot be rekindled......

Contract will be terminated if a rematch is not organised in three months....Shaggee will still keep in touch platonically....Shagger is not allowed to starve Shaggee for 3months and expect to rekindle dead fires......

Please note that Shaggee doesnt keep multiple sex partners so the idea of not organising rematches is not fair...Also note that unprotected sex is frowned upon but can be had if the Shagger agrees not to sleep with other women and there is proof he doesnt have hepatitis B and or C(lol-they say it feels better without protection????not so???)


Contract is laible to change that suit both parties....

Communication is essential between both parties........

Whilst this is a joke-some of it is true for the author.....

From Tosin Buckor...................

A. Attached or Single?
Single


B. Best Friends?
Meself


C. Cake or Pie?
Cake


D. Day of Choice?
Sunday-its always restful


E. Essential Item?
Glasses.........so close to being a bat


F. Favorite Color?
Black!........luv it


G. Greatest accomplishment?
Not sure-hasnt happened yet!!!!!!!


H. Hometown?
Abeokuta


I. Indulgences?
Icecream & Chocs


J. January or July?
Jan....the whole year ahead of me!!!!!!!


K. Kids?
Those 3 kids of mine???Still at God's feet!!!!!


L. Life is incomplete without?
Saying thanks to Baba Loke and earth shattering..*cough*.....


M. Marriage date?
.....and be stuck to only one for the rest of mi days????......


N. Number of siblings?
2-both of the opposite sex(but i need to ask me Dad
there may b some little buggers somewhere)


O. Oranges or apples?
Apples


P. Phobias or fears?
Little spaces closing up on me....
my face when i do the witch faces on naija
home videos......scary..........lol


Q. Quotes?
?????


R. Reason to smile?
Me teeth-them dey shine!!!!!!!!!!!


S. Season?
Anything except this darn rain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


T. Tag three friends?
i tag
- smaragd
- afrobabe
- enigma


U. Unknown fact about me?
na lie-i'm sure i already told someone...


V. Very favorite store?
I hate to shop...am i weird????


W. Worst habit?
Pinching face-farting in public places


X. X-ray or ultrasound?
ultrasound.....dont ask me why.........


Y. Your favorite food
Amala and Ewedu


Z. Zodiac?
Libra

Smaragd........this is for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MEME Rules
1. Put Your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle
(i got windows media)

2. For each question, press the next button to get your
answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people
and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme
themselves!


IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
I wanna love you-Akon


WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Bragging Rights-Freestyle & Blaise


WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Am i still that special man-PSqaure


HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
My year-Sound Sultan


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Jusile-Ruggedman & Druella


WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Kolo-Mo'hits..........i dey make people kolo!!!!!!!!


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
So beautiful-Asa(this is on point).............lol


WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
I wanna get close to you-Mo'hits


WHAT IS 2+2?
Temperature-Sean Paul...........*wink*.....


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
African Queen--2face......she is,cos i am best friends with meself....lol!!!!!!


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Ko si Oba bi Ire-while i like you i cant compare you to Baba Loke...........


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
After and then-Kuku........hmmmmmmm


WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
For instance-2face


WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Bodi no be wood-Freeestyle


WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Eye Adaba-Asa........i guess i dey fly oooooo


WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
No air-Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown.....for real??????


WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Dont flip-Omotola Ekehinde.........abi make them leave me to go rest......


WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Tongolo remix-Dbanj...........na wa for me oooooo


WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I'm on my way-Ikechukwu......where i dey go?????



WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Stylee-Jimmy Jatt.........which kain????


WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Ika o da-Dbanj.......na so......


Ok i tag Enigma,Unnaked,Lg,Freeflowingflorida,Freaksho

I TOLD HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A pal had just lost her mum
at the party to celebrate her life
i saw this dark guy-quite dark-i was intriguied
asked my pal-who is he?
a family friend she said
i kept stealing glances till he noticed
then i stared at him
i could see he was wondering who be dis babe???


hours later he swaggers to our table
not a Denzel swagger but close.....he goes- hi Ibi
i like guys that do their homework,i had also done mine
so i am like hey people meet J-my future husband
for the life of me i had no idea why i said that
but once i had said it-it felt right


dude was taken aback......i just smiled at him
hours later when the last guests had gone and we were done cleaning
i got up to go to bed-he corners me and says
did u mean what u said?he asked?
so i asked him-are u in a relationship now?
no he said
i said yea,i meant it
he goes-are u asking me out?
i said yea!!!!!


Pal & I were scheduled to go back to Uni 2weeks later
we found tyme to hang out and he kept saying he would
*show me pepper*...........
guys who talk like that-CANT DO WACK!!!!!!!!!!
i didnt know that then-i hadnt been wit any one wack
but then i hadnt been with anyone who had promised me pepper
i should have known-not so????


but then again,was that the way to find a husband???
i liked what i saw and i figured if it worked
i would have had my 3 kids now...........lol


J visits me in Uni 6 months later but before
then he would call every other night-no mobiles in naija then
by then i was sooooo ready to discover his brand of pepper........
when he visited he wanted us to spend the weekend together
but insisted on going to his place which was a 2hr drive
i had no issues with that but we werent gonna get any cabs to take us
he refused so i packed my stuff and we set out


tired and dusty an hour later we were back in my room
i sang------i told u so
we showered,had dinner and settled in


the kisses were good not great
i decided to leave him be
it may get better.........not so?


his touch was ok but not terrific
dude was so spoiling my Denzel fantasy
then the do.....


it was wack.......
he groped,prodded and did the whole slam bang thing...
i pushed him away after a while
i needed to pee i said


went to my pal's room and spent the rest of the night in bliss
in the morning i could sense his anger
i ignored it.....
made him breakfast which he refused
we got ready and set off for his place


his dad's country home(abi na village home)
hadnt been lived in in a while
so first we had to clean,sweep,dust
we took a shower
went to town to get something to eat
he stopped by a drugstore to replenish his cd ration
i was wondering if he had had lessons i didnt know about
cos i didnt know what the cd's were for?????


...........a while later
when his kisses started geting intense
i told him not to repeat the shit he tried yesterday
he looks at me and goes...........
is it cos he didnt blow his top at me leaving
him with blue balls???
u were performing rubbish so i decided to sleep i said
i was not having my vagina battered..........


dont do the bang bang bang i said
first thrust-slow...........
touch,feel,kiss i said
u can pick up pace later....change rhythm............
ok he says
obviously a bad student
so i let him hammer at me a while
he wasnt doing anything for me
and i wasnt lubricated
i wasnt about to have a sore vagina in the morn
stop i said-let me give you fellatio
no he says
he wont give or take oral sex(selfish ass!!!!!)


roll over and sleep i said
u are a lousy fuck
what do u mean????? he said
exactly what i said!!!!!!!!!!
A LOUSY LAY.....
GO LEARN HOW TO FUCK THEN CALL ME WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN SCHOOLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


watch movies or hook up with a courtesan
watch the kama sutra or something
when u get better
give me a call


i roll over
ignore his black ass and fell promptly asleep


back to school the next day-he dared to
suggest one for the road
i say no-i aiint about to subject meself
to that shit...........
i get to school and tell my pal-
ur family friend is a lousy fuck
i am definitely not letting him near
my vagina till i feel he has improved........
how will u know he has improved she asked
i said if i let him stew a few months i
expect him to go get lessons somewhere or
mayb when he is more receptive to being schooled


i ignore his calls............
back to Lagos a month later
he finds out i am home,calls me and insults me for 45mins

i am listening without hearing the words
i let him rant and when he is spent,i engage the phone


next day i call him up and ask him to loose my number and address
i am no longer interested in what we have.........
he dares ask me why........


the sex was wack and you fight like a girl


he still calls occassionally
maybe he wants to show me his new skills.....
and to remind me
i wanted to marry him at one tyme
i shudder at the thought that i could have married
such a lousy fuck and a man that fights like a girl


thats the only tyme i was in the hands of a man
who didnt know how to make my animalistic tendencies surface


God has been good to me..............
HE has always sent me guys who are sensitive to my needs
and i theirs.........
while i have had ok sex
i have mostly always had earth shattering sex


ladies i pray thou shall not fall
into the hands of men who didnt have practise with their maids.............LMAO!!!!!!!!!

TELL HIM............................

The whole fascination with sex started with mills and boon
i was allowed to start reading them (officially) in SS1...

my first encounter was at 19.....i had by then seen all
those movies we were once prohibited to see.......
I spit on your grave,Sliver,Basic Instinct,Jason's lyrics
i HATED and still HATE porn
its too animalistic for me


it was me first who told me i wasnt expected to just lie
there during the do............
so even though i had seen all those movies
it didnt prepare me for what was expected of me
just cos someone moans doesnt mean you are doing anything
for her/him
i wasnt even moaning sef........lol
apparently dude understood all the pleasure was on his part



after we started the do........the first two months
i didnt get what the hype was about
so i wasnt letting him have it like he wanted........lol
the first day was kinda bittersweet........
a little pain with the blood and a vagina that felt like
it was swollen
i had to make meself walk aiight when i left his flat
cos i wasnt having his roomates tease my life out


so he said i wasnt expected to just lie there.........
i asked..... what do you want me to do????
he said...get into it-feel it along with me.......
how????
........move your hips.........
when????
whilst i am thrusting.......
how????
lemme show you..........
and so we experimented with each others bodies


it wasnt about being kinky
it was about..........
when i lick u here.......does it feel good????
when i touch you here......does it feel aiight???
do you like it when i do this?
fast?
slow?

ANY woman can make a man hard just with a look
ANY woman can make a man cum if he gets his phallus into a
warm wet spot...............

but while sex is sex
earth shattering sex is HEADLINE news

lovemaking is special cos being in love with a person
makes every touch SPECIAL


so ladies
the guys are saying na we dey make them think say them
dey do what napoleon couldnt do............
abeg..............
if he is not doing it for you
don't just lie dia and moan only to fake an orgasm


TELL HIM...........

WETIN YOU DEY DO??????????????????

SEX............................

One of my favourite pastimes is sex
thinking about it
reading about it
talking about it

notice i made no mention of doing it
i do like to fuck and be fucked but
i dont need it like i need air

it can be fun just reminiscing about
or fantasising about it

*when his fingers are in me-uhmmmmmmmmm*
*he stayed down there so long i lost count how many tymes i came*
*he filled me up-i could feel him hitting
me belly button on the inside*

every person has a different style
some are aggressive
some are meek
some like the lights on
some like the lights off
quickies...
foreplay for hours.....
a 2 min man
a 30 min man

it dont matter really what he brings to the table
all that is important is that he is able to pleasure me

no offence guys
it doesnt take a lot to pleasure a man
with babes its different

no wonder mama always said
go the marriage bed undefiled
all u will ever know is ur husband
so whether he can do or not
u are fyne with it
moreover the do is for making babies aiint it????


i should have listened to her
cos i dont care how goodlooking a dude is
dont matter what his bank account reads
dont matter if he worships the ground i walk on
if he cant tap that ass,
make me see stars
make me loose all inhibitions
make his roommate/neighbours mad at my soundtrack.....lol
pleasure me(i promise to return the favour)
and hold me when we are spent..........


he should loose my number.............

Begging...........

Begging isnt cute

especially when the person begging
is a guy i cant stand

he thinks if he makes himself an ass
you will take pity on him

while it happened that way for someone i know
to date we say it was a case of sympathy love

in my case it just makes me dislike the guy more
cos its either i like you or i dont
begging just aiint cute

so we were journeying home yesterday
and this song comes on the radio
Down on my knees-i'm begging you(Ayo)


Down on my knees, I'm begging you,
Down on my knees, I'm begging you,
Down on my knees, I'm begging you,
Please, please don't leave me

Do you really think she can love you more than me,
Do you really, really think so
Do you really think she can gave you more than me,
Baby I know she won't
Cause I loved you, unconditionally,
I gave you even more than, I had to give
I was willing for you to die,
Cause you were more precious to me, than my own life

Down on my knees, I'm begging you,
Down on my knees, I'm begging you,
Down on my knees, I'm begging you,
Please, please don't leave me

I won't believe, that you really, really,
Wanna leave me, just because of her
Have you forgot about, all the things, we've been through,
She was not the one, who was there for you
I loved you unconditionally,
I gave you even more than, I had to give
I was willing for you to die,
Cause you were more precious to me, than my own life

Down on my knees, I'm begging you,
Down on my knees, I'm begging you,
Down on my knees, I'm begging you,
Please, please don't leave me

Don't leave me, I'm begging,
I love you, I need you, I'm dying, I'm crying, I'm begging,
Please love me
I love you, I love you,
I'm begging, please love me,
I'm dying, I'm crying
Please don't'leave me, no, no, no, no, no

Down on my knees, I'm begging you.
Down on my knees, I'm begging you.
Down on my knees, Down on my knees
I'm begging you, you, you
Down on my knees
Down on my knees
Down on my knees
I'm begging you
Down on my knees
Down on my knees
Down on my knees
I'm begging you




My pal goes he hates the song
how can a woman beg that way?

I say guys too arent allowed to beg
he says guys are
in his words
if it was a guy singing............
the level of begging isnt high enough
he thinks its aiight for a guy to ask
his family AND friends to go along with him
on a begging spree
he is allowed to beg continously till the babe says yes

he should beg till he becomes a nuisance and people go like
haba...gree for the guy now.............(trust naija)

we all laughed
but what's ur take ?
is begging cute?
should guys beg
but ladies be ladies and not beg????

GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love to strip when i need to do number two
i go in with a mag,novel,newspaper
and put on my radio/cd(at work my fone)

i love to be as unencumbered as possible
releasing poo can b disturbing

doing number two is a fifteen minute transaction for me
friends and family know that

at work its a different ball game
everyone can see u go into the loo
i try not to go at work
cos i cant do my strip fetish
and i try not to spend as much as 15mins
cos when u work in a dept where there are 4females 22males
u know u can be d butt of a joke


so at work.................
i go in with my make up bag like i need to do my makeup
guys understand u can spend hours doing make up
i then spritz the air every 20secs
i dont want anyone saying

oh the smell
moreover my Grandma says when ur poo smells real bad
u are eating good stuff

i do......so i mess up the air real bad when i go


oops i do need to go NOW

catch u all mon
have a splendid weekend u lot

now if u read this to the end
and u will be back here
obviously u love me
if u finished reading this and u wont be back



u no dey shit???????????????


LMAO

Wish u...................

I have this friend
whenever she gets holed up with her man,
she would come out looking ''ravished'' with
this ''cat got the cream look''

and for days after she would smile for no reason
i've always known it's cos she was remembering............

when u have had a good one
..........in passing u remember stuff and
a warm feeling washes over you..........
people just might catch u smiling at nothing in particular.........


So i caught ''How Stella got her groove back''
again two days ago
and even though she had a lot of issues
with falling in love with a 20yr old

you could see her glowing
and smiing to herself sometymes..........
ohhhhhhhh the flashbacks....................

though, how many 40 yr olds can flaunt
a bod like that??????


i wish u all a man
that brings a tear to ur eye when u *cum*

and a *workout* that keeps u smiling
and glowing for days after............*wink*



i wonder why that kinda feeling cant come in a box??????

HAPPY BLOG DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

its my blog day
this blog is one today

thank u so much blogsville for accepting me
loving me(abi???) and being there for me





Me Cousin & his galfriend
I AM TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dude came up to me and said his gal needed to be around
our hood for IT-(industrial attachment) for 3months
can she stay in my crib???
cos he wouldnt dare take her home
his mama is home...........

i dont know what i was thinking
i should have said
she can stay.........you cant
but whatever..................
they have had my spare room for
3months
i cant wait..........
she gets to go back to school
he goes back home
i get my flat back to myself
i am craving some alone tyme
looking forward to stripping and strutting my stuff
around my pad cos its just me


and getting some in mi casa
no one ever wrote it in stone that not having a man
means u have to be celibate

i look forward to me screaming me head off in mi casa
not wondering if his roommate
can hear my soundtrack......lol

the bliss of being had against my kitchen wall
.............*wink*............

and then she comes up to me today to say
she needs to be here another 3 weeks cos
school doesnt start till the end of June
she would like to make the extra money
and i am sure she would like to keep getting some

its not fair........
*tearing my hair out*
its mi casa and she gets all the action..............

Love Handles.............

I am a Fraud
i have love handles
they are getting bigger
my ex always complimented me
ur midriff is sooooo sexy..........
no extra fat........yea right..........
i go just dey laff am inside....if only u sabi


I have always wanted to gain weight
everyone i know wants to loose
i need to gain
i want it all(the weight/fat) to go to
the twins&my bum

i have recently successfully added 3 kgs
i need 5 kg more
but from what i can see.........
1 kg went to my bum
2kg has added itself to my midriff
i cant pass off the flat tummy anymore

can anyone tell me how to loose fat
from my midriff without taking a cm off my bum???
else i am about to get me a bum pad
cos i need to get rid of my love handles

Its complicated.........

The wedding was fly
Mc made me laugh my ass off
one of the stuff he said that had me thinking
was how............
when singles are asked to pray
everyone goes
Pls God grant me a husband
the dictionary meaning of husband is
man with wife

how can God grant u a man who already has a wife

he says the proper prayer should be
Dear Lord grant me a rich,single,good looking
romantic,caring guy to be my husband


Weddings remind people you are single
a lot of people go.................when?????
I was at the wedding with pals and him
him is my *its complicated*
i have never been physical with this dude(thats what makes him special)
but the guy knows me by heart

this goes back to a song by Dolly Patton where she says
"i know you by heart
and you are sooooo much a part of me
its no wonder i can love you the way that i do'
i can finish every sentence you start"


he can.......literarily read my mind.......
he's my dearest closest confidante
my friend,brother.........he's a lot of stuff to me but he aiint my lover(yet).......lol

but while i know he would make me a good husband
some stuff wont let us make that commitment

like i said its complicated

Lyrics................

if i take a fancy to a song
i google the lyrics............

i perused the lyrics to Damaged by Danity Kane last night
and i wondered
why do people do that???????????

i dont know if its aiight or not
but i am only comfortable talking about ex's with friends/family

i dont understand the need to talk about my ex with current beau
and u sure as hell will do good not to regale me with stories of her
and as long as her pictures dont adorn ur
home/wallet/car or fone screensaver/wallpaper
i am fyne

i just think hey i am no spring chicken
neither are u...........
clean slate
lets move on....

so while i can commend the artistic talent
its not a song i agree with

i love the track No Air Jordin Sparks&Chris Brown
but no air???
with all this abundant oxygen
when no be say i am prone to asthma#@^%$&*#

but a song i agree with its every word is
have u ever really loved a woman.


HAVE YOU EVER REALLY LOVED A WOMAN
Bryan Adams

To really love a woman
To understand her
You gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought
See every dream
And give her wings when she wants to fly

And when you find yourself
Lying helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
You tell her that she’s really wanted
When you love a woman
You tell her that she’s the one
She needs somebody
To tell her that it’s gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
Really really ever loved a woman

To really love a woman
U gotta hold her
Until you know how she needs to be touched
You gotta breath her
Really taste her
Till you can feel her in your blood
Then when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
You tell her that she’s really wanted
When you love a woman
You tell her that she’s the one
She needs somebody
To tell her that you’ll always be together
So tell me have you ever really
Really really ever loved a woman

You got to give her some faith
Hold her tight
A little tenderness
You gotta treat her right
She’ll be there for you
To take good care of you
You really gotta love your woman

And when you find yourself
Lying helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
You tell her that she’s really wanted
When you love a woman
You tell her that she’s the one
She needs somebody
To tell her that it’s gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
Really really ever loved a woman
Just tell me have you ever really
Really really ever loved a woman
Just tell me have you ever really
Really really ever loved a woman.




ladies dont u all agree???????????

have a fab weekend u all
got a wedding on sat-plan to have fun
its a reunion kinda-and i am sure more guys will sign on as loyal fans
...........*wink*............

Smoking..............

When i was younger
when ever anyone smoked near me
i would puke............

as i got older i outgrew the puking fetish
mum could not explain it
but we all knew it would happen

i also used to be air sick and road sick
you couldnt have me in the car when u go fuel buying
the fumes........
i would puke

thankfully i no longer puke when someone smokes
or when i fly
or go on a road trip
or i go buy fuel

i have never found out if i will be sea sick.....

i have always known i wont date/marry a man that smokes......

before u all ask if he smokes...
remember there's no he......
my ex was a social smoker
if we were hanging out,just cos his friends did
he would have a few drags
he never did ever take a whole stick
never could u find a stick,match box,lighter
on his person or in his car/abode

my cousin always said so long as he takes a few drags
it qualifies as he smokes..............

i could have lived with that..............


so the last post was basically
some things we say we cant do
but
we find we can do with the other person
when they waltz into our lives

i still maintain...........
never try to analyse what keeps people together

as long as they are happy together

so be it...............

Understanding.........................

Sometimes a man and a woman have an understanding
no one else can understand

even themselves..................

Another one.............

Last post didnt have a heading
no one noticed or did ya??

Met a guy online a few days ago
he says he is a con artist
he is proud of what he does
he is married-wife and kid in the states
he wants to have lunch with moi

why in heaven's name would i wanna have lunch with a con artist?
i'm sure you wonder why i bother chatting with all sorts...
they provide amusement............

moreover he asked for a raise yesterday
do i mint money?
i thot 419 was a lucrative biz?

which brings me to y do friends and family think u are a bank
just cause u have a job??it becomes worse when u change jobs
cos a change means a pay rise...................
isnt the whole idea of earning more
cos u wanna do more for self and NUCLEAR family
i know pple who have siblings/parents who dont give a damn
i am blessed
i can do ANYTHING for my mama&brothers
cos i know they got my back at all times...........

call me selfish if u will
but i aiint going outta my way to do shit for NOONE
a lot of pple who didnt do shit for you
suddenly remember your number when they see ur biz card

u hear
hi..........how u been?
its been a while,i need a huge favour.....
a loan -i promise to return it at..............
they hardly ever stick to that time frame
or u never see that money no more
and cos they are family/close friends u cant scream blue murder
i aiint letting anyone put me in a difficult situaton

i will just borrow a leaf from my Uncle
he says apart from landed property&buildings-stuff that appreciate
the rest of his money stays in his stomach
he doesnt do banks,shares whatever else
he is known as the Uncle that cant give you more than 200naira(85pence)
you wont even bother going to him for a loan
he lives almost outside lagos
the journey to his abode is almost suicidal
but we all know he is loaded
but when u remember all you will hear na story plus 200 naira cab fare back
u stay home and bother little pple(like me)

moreover...........
ko si obo mo ni idanre(people don wise up)
oju anu ti fo(the kind ones have lost their sight..........
hence they cant see those they should be kind to)
owo apa ni ma gbe oke apoti(it is only a wasteful fellow who keeps money at the top of his box)

I have online buddies
people i meet via yahoo chat rooms
or www.whisper2u.com-some i stop communicating with
others i have stayed friends with
a friend of mine dated a guy she met via whisper and they were together 2years
babe was thinking marriage after a while
guy got married a few months after they broke up
(a story for another blog which i dont have details to....*wink*)


a guy called me last year
he said he got my number from a site he hacked/designed to get him a partner
thing is i have two mobile lines
his programme got him the one i hardly use or put on my profile online
how he hacked a number i rarely use is beyond me
we kept up a relationship via phone calls for a while
he kept asking that i leave work on a friday
hook up with him on the island
spend the rest of the night at a club
go on over to his place about 4am somewhere in lekki-he would drive me home the next`day

i just could not understand why he felt
it was okay for me to spend time in such an intimate setting as a club with a guy i know nuthing about-then follow him home............
for all i know

he could be an axe`murderer

he didnt want to meet up in the daytime in a bar,restaurant
he didnt want to make the journey to my abode
(whats it with guys who want to hook up-and they expect the lady to make the trip????)
he kept saying i stay too far from civilisation
while i agree my abode is a distance from lekki
why he thought it was ok for me to make the journey-while he would sit pretty waiting for me
was beyond me...........
he is the one that wanted a mate
shouldn't he be ready to go to any length to get one?????


i lost my phone june last year
forgot about the sim to the number he knew for a few months
after i got a new phone and reactivated the sim-no calls from him
i'm sure he found someone else.........
yesterday i scrolled thru my phone and there his number was........
maybe i should call him........
i am curious...........

why?i know not......
i am not trying to fill a void in my life
i do have loyal members in my fan club
........some i dig......some i dont
some i plan to recruit.............*wink*


on why i did the last post
heard someone say-if she gives in easy
shes not worth it
i dont agree
i do agree with what u all said
sometymes it matters that u dont give in easy sometymes it doesnt
different strokes for differemt folks

i say..............
it doesnt matter who/how/where/when you meet
its what keeps you together that matters..........

Wait or not to wait............

If she gives in to you easy
she probably does same to a whole lotta people....

if she makes you wait
shes gonna be worth the wait

how true????????

ITCH.................SCRATCH

Kai.....
was standing on the road..about to get a bus home....
busy road ooooooo
na so bobby begin itch me

e itch me gan
i use style clap hands in front of my chest
begin stroll(no destination)
just so noone will notice wetin i dey try clap for

that method didnt work

i got into the bus
took the back seat
ignored the people beside me
bent down to suppossedly do sumthing to my foot

na so i put hand inside blouse

SCRATCH BOBBY WELLLLLLL

the bliss of a good scratch............

Cute Butt

There's this guy who was in my old office who is married
he says he couldn't ask me out whilst we worked together
cos he was afraid of me saying no
i def would have......now he keeps wanting to get with me
-yea he wants to boff........

while i like being in company of goodlooking men,
i prefer single guys-he's not bad to look at but
he's not the kind i usually swoon over.........
the way i see it-if he's single-anyone can get him(if u are trying)
but if he's married......what the fuck you doing with another woman's beau?

abeg....the guy should free me-he has introduced me to his wife
i wonder why he thinks i can boff him after meeting her

there's this guy with a cute butt,who is also a fan of Arsenal
like moi and he is a sight for sore eyes.....

we work together(new space)...different depts.....
while i've never done the office romance thing
i could,if i wanted-i mean i dated guys in the same uni????
so why not someone you work with?but i am really just content
with ogling his butt...moreover a relationship is a lot of work.....

i will have to give my itinerary,i will bother where he's being
sticking it if he doesnt keep appointments,i will fret
when he doesnt call,he will fret when i dont call....

i know a few people will read this and say...yea right....
but honestly......for those in love-i am pleased for you...

i've never had a bad breakup cos i wear glasses.....
I always see the writing on the wall and i know men are naturally polygamous...

i heard of a dude who actually told his wife of a year to get off him,he was tired of the same pussy...
after just a year of wedlock....that girl is in trouble......


while i know eventually i will commit to someone,i dont belive in fairy tales.......

Remember Jason's lyric....saw it again 2days ago and this caught at the romantic in me.........
i am not even gonna ask you on a date
i just wanna be where you are
if you are at the market, i wanna be on the same aisle
if at church,the same pew

awwwwwwwwwwwww

Dear Daddy

What is it with brides who wanna have a special dance with their father then decide on Dance with my father by Luther Vandross&%$#@*&^%
are they hoping their father will die soon?????
its a sad song isnt it
or is that just MY opinion?????


Abeg ooo
if ANY motherfucker should play it when i get up to dance with
Dear Daddy on my day
I will show him my karate skills
the annoying thing is these na people who probably had wedding planners
the wedding planner(s) should be shot dead




My boobs hurt more like they are sore
hehehehehehehehhehehehehehhe
that is me laughing cos i am looking forward to the comments
i am gonna get with this info i just dropped
*wink*
especially when i got jolted during my bike ride this morning
yea..........i am still harrassing those buggers
**wink*

Tagged

…here are the rules:

…1. …link the person who tagged you…
…2. …mention the rules in your blog…
…3. …tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours…
…4. …tag 6 following bloggers by linking them…
…5. …leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged…



here goes.........

Once i get settled in a moving vehicle(car/bus/taxi/plane)even if its a 5 min drive
i nod off.........but i wake up everytyme the vehicle jerks
if its not my stop i go back to sleep zone

i am VERY indecisive-and i hardly act on advice given-
but i am able to stick by decisions taken
cos it always takes me forever to decide

i hate to be idle it makes me prone
to picking my face(blackheads&zits)
or tampering with my nails

i dont like change-once i like something
i stay loyal to it
getting something different takes a lot of effort
this applies to everything in my life

i am hardly shocked/disappointed by people's actions
but i believe FIRMLY in doing to others as you wish them to do to you
i do to you as you do to me

i am hardly ever sorry-i use the word sparsely
maybe once in three years

i hereby tag
freaksho...smaragd...afrobabe....fantasy queen...unwritten...plastiq

Soundtracks

A soundtrack in my vocab is the kinda sound(s) you make when you are boffing
While i dont go listening at people's doors when they are busy at it
it just happens that sometimes you hear people when they go at it
maybe they have paper thin walls
they may be loud
or their window is open(thanks to PHCN)

we had this couple in Uni
they insipired the term soundtrack
we had connecting doors in the house i stayed in
my uni was non residential so u got to live where ever you could
get a good price close enuff to school

she was in the 4th year
he in the 1st year
i was in the 2nd yr then

i know how in the heat of the moment
people loose all inhibitions
and............

we have the moaners(ahh ohh uhm)
the screamers
those who insult others(you are....)
those who need to clean up(shit shit)
those who pray(Jesus,Jesus)
those who need their mum(mummmmmmmyyyyy)
those who concur(yes yes)
those who race(faster faster)
those who prefer results(harder harder)
those who like to dig(deeper deeper)
those who remind you (fuck me fuck me)

i have heard my share of soundtracks and made mine
sometimes after a good boffing
i remember some of the things i said
and i blush to my roots

while i have no qualms with people and their soundtracks

i crack up EVERY tyme i remember the above name couple
one night they go

her-o dun mi amo o dun mo mi(i'm in pain but i like it)
o dun mi amo odun mo mi(i am in pain but i like it)
ma yo ma yo(dont take it out dont take it out)

another day she goes
wa dagba wa mo iwe e(you will grow old you will be knowledgeable)
o ku itoju mi(thanks for taking care of me)

guy says - ko tope(its my pleasure)


what kinda convo is that in the heat of the moment?
and in yoruba language

whatever happened to moaning,screaming,panting or cursing
*&%$#@*#


Update on my fix
it was exactly what i needed
i sang from both ends of me
i lost count of how many tymes i climaxed
i have grammy(s) on my bedside table from all the songs i sang

and thats all i am gonna say

*wink*

perhaps i should emulate the couple above and say a prayer for him????

My fix............

J asked if all i write here is the truth?
EVERY SINGLE BLOG is as real as my name is Ibi
my name is Ibi

i was flattered cos he said my life is interesting
i never looked at my life that way
i think a lot of other bloggers lead far more glamorous lives
my life is just mine............

to pals/family that get to read stuff here
its my blog and thats whats its about
getting stuff off my chest/sharing stuff with blogsville
take no offense please


Fuckmate wasnt hitting it the way i wanted
so i let him go....letting him go was easy
he thot i would start getting clingy
(women always do that when they get intimate wit a guy)
so he became busy ....suited me fyne

I have had an 8 month hiatus
lately i have been needing to get a fix
Got talking with ..... and we got talking dirty
We seemed to like the same kinda stuff.......
We agreed to hook up
we agreed he would drop by my place
he couldnt at the last min-he had jet lag(just came in from a trip)
i sure wasnt gonna not get my fix.........
i told him to take a bath(i wasnt insinuating he was dirty)
grab a bite
rest a while..........
and tell the pink muscle i was coming over.........

i have no idea what was going on in his mind or mine for that matter
but i was gonna get my fix..........

got a little scared when i saw the dogs@his abode
thankfully they were harmless

he came down to rescue me(a knight????)
we went up
we had a bit of small talk
we went in..............

Hullo

Remember new job?
moved to new site
love the new space
been too busy to blog
but......................


GOT MY FIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yippieee

will blog about it next tyme i am online

love u blogsville

Comfort

How do you comfort a grieving man or ill(fever)



There's a special kind of solace a man can ONLY find in a woman's arms



and bed..................

Sexual Harrassment

I have been sexually harrassing bike riders.....
Do i do it on purpose?
Do i get a kick from it?
nah
why do i do it?
cos i need to........
for my own safety


When i am on a bike for more than 10mins my legs start to shake
i dont go on bikes after 7pm-i cant see
it dont matter if he can.........
but back to me harrassing them
everytyme i get swerved or they go too fast or whatever...........
my body stiffens..........so my knees hug them
afterall its their ass(es)/hip(s) my knees are hugging.................

see why i dont get a kick outta it?
its a thing borne out of fear
i have no plan to join them at the okada ward in Igbobi
but harrass them i will............
everytyme i get a scare during a bike ride

if anyone wants to save me the agony of a law suit
the account number to pay in the get Ibi a car NGO is ...............

IT gets him EVERYTHING

They say money is the international language of love for a man
it gets him EVERYTHING

for women it is youth..........
a killer body
big breasts
and the ability to suck a golf ball through a garden hose....


personally....in the following order............
a man's intellect
his personality
loyalty
and a good heart
he HAS to LOVE GOD-only then can he love me
..............the way i need to be loved



have a swell weekend u all.....

She ran away..................

I learnt with polio vaccines you should get about 4 shots before school starts-here in naija school starts at about 3yrs
i am not sure how old i was but i do know you
get one shot somewhere between one to two months
another shot at four months
the third shot somewhere from 6 to 18 months
and the last shot between 4-6yrs

the incident i wanna talk about i have no recollection of so i am guesing it was the 6-18months shot.............

Mum took me to the hospital for my polio shot
I was a good girl about taking the shot so she promised me a treat.....

I love needles-i very much hate drugs(chalk i call it)
reminds me of the song............
you push it in-i pull it out
you push it back-i start to shout
oh doctor please its terrible, i cant stand the size of your needle
love this song-me???i love needles
if its biggggg.............even better*wink*

ok moving on........
we(Mum&I) get home and she decides to give me the treat
Ibi,have this........
I stretch out my arm,try to get up...
I cant...
Mum goes,Ibi didnt you hear me call you?
come and get this........
i look longingly at the sweet but my legs refuse to obey me
she gets agitated......IBI GET UP!!!!!!!!!!
Mum i can't...........
my legs are not working(or something like that)
she scoops me up and back to the hospital we go

On the way to the hospital i lost consciousness
At the hospital she finds out i was to be adminstered a 1.5mg vaccine
maybe cos i was such a doll-the idiot nurse administered 3.0mg
They had to flush my system
They had a bit of trouble finding my vein
so i got it(drips) in the head
some of my hair was shaved off(that explains my fascination for body hair&my baldness)

all this while i wasnt conscious............
Mum got pretty scared cos her chatterbox was quiet
she says she got up and sneaked out of the room after a while
trust traffic-it took Dad/Gramps and whomever else she had called a while to get there-moreover there were no mobiles then

On her way down......some random nurse sees her and asks where is she off to????
She says.................
I AM RUNNING AWAY..............
the nurse goes why?
she says.........ahhhh.......i dont know what to tell her father and grandfather when they get here
she hasnt opened her eyes and seeing that shaved part of her head isnt helping matters
the nurse goes...where are you running to?
mum says she has no idea cos she cant even go back to her Dad's
that the first place Ibi's Gramps will look for me....
so the nurse assures her
Ibi will be fine
i am sure she will regain consciousness soon
just go back&stay with her....pray...
your daughter needs you& she will be fine
Mum goes......ok i wanna pee
the nurse says there a loo upstairs in the room where Ibi is

Mum goes back,there i was,eyes open calling for her
She comforted me and asked how i was ..the first thing i asked for was my sweet
she laughed and assured me i will get it soon
she must have told me a lot of other things i cant remember
and the only reason i can blog about this is because she told me this story

I found/still find it HILARIOUS
where in heavens name was she going?
If not to her Dad's and not to Gramps?
why did she feel the need to run?
why did she feel she wouldn't be able to explain to Gramps what happened
when it was through no fault of hers
all she did was take me in for a shot....

Please`note i am Mum's first-it was her first major scare as a young mum
and her not wanting to face Gramps was not fear-it was just denial on her part

nurse is lucky-mum didnt sue
well in naija we dont have a sueing culture
i do hope the hospital disciplined the nurse as they promised to do
i also hope she didnt do it to another child who was not so lucky.....

everytime i remember the story i crack up
but really how safe are we when we trust our health to some of these crazy ass medical personnels????

i am at my new firm-yipeeeeeeeeeee
if u see what i need to study just so i can carry out my duties effectively???
Its like i am studying for an exam
but i am loving it
take care blogsville
MWAH

From Shacrown

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you
thought? Hi Gorgeous.........

2. How much cash do you have on you? about 5k

3. Whats a word that rhymes with door? more???

4. Favorite planet? Earth

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile? My supervisor

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? Love is wicked...Brick&Lace

7. What shirt are you wearing right now? Black&White spiral thingy from my brother

8. Do you "label" yourself? Other than Gorgeous????

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing? Lime(lol-that whats on it)

10. Bright or Dark Room? Dark

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey? Whatever!!!!!!!!!!!

13. What were you doing at midnight? Dreaming of getting my fix(u know....those grammyssssss i wanna pick sometyme sooooonnnnnn........

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say? Have you found your glasses?

15. Where is your mail box? Downstairs.......

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? Mama

18. Last furry thing you touched? Been ages i touced anything that has fur...

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? None

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? do u mean for pics???*confused look*

21. Favorite age you have been so far? 29 here & now

22. Your worst enemy? La diable

23. What is your current desktop picture? My Chocolate-Denzel.....

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? I can't help you if you refuse to listen to me

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly? Where the money at????

26. Do you like someone? Seriously? Yea..........

27. The last song you listened to? some random ish on radio

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you run? Yea.....

29. If you could punch one person right now, who would it be? and do damage to my fingers??hell no

30. What is the closest object to your left foot? wires

Trouble

I usually am outta my abode at 645
Today i woke up at 630
I need an hour to get my beautiful self together in the mornings
so i left home at 730
Sent an sms to my colleague-i am running late
be there as soon as i can

Took a while getting a bus
Asswipe hiked the price
with ONLY 30 naira ooooooooooo
his reason?no fuel
i WASNT having it
others huffed and puffed
me?
had my earfones on listening to rhythm
(my fun thing to do whilst undertaking a bus ride)
E be like say dude no notice say i no open my mouth
but mennnnnnnnnnnnnnn
he wasnt getting that 30naira from me oooooooooo

EVERYONE else AFTER all their puffing conceeded the hike
me?
sitting as cool as cucumber with the unhiked fee in my hand

first station a queue-second station no queue

me?all set for TROUBLE
dude was singing praises or making noise........
i have no idea what he did all thru the journey
but i could hear him rant
i wasnt listening.....
i just know he kept asking for his money
i would give him the unhiked fee and he would reject it
i had made up my mind i was gonna get down from the bus
without paying the hiked fee

ONLY ME
i figured he could loose the 30naira from one passenger

we get to Cms
i am about to disembark.........
dude goes-give me my money,abi wetin be ur problem??
earfones still in-i calmly give him the unhiked fee
he proceeds to push me
i step back..........
I LOVE LAGOS
all the men go
leave am now
sebi na only her
collect wetin she give u

driver stretches his arm and i give him the unhiked fee
i walk away strutting
feeling pleased with meself
i got away with it again

I once got a bus ride home where i decided not to pay a hiked fee
dude ended up giving me all my money back
he hiked the fee by 50 naira
i wasnt having it
but i had no change so i gave him a 1000 naira note
pissed at myself that he would get away with his hike
well he stupidly returned five 200 naira notes to me
i didnt say a word-just pocketed my money

I am evil-i know
maybe i will try it again tonight............
bus ride home.............
not pay a hiked fee tonight(i doubt i will get away with it)
*wink*

Flexible

Easter was Fab
lots of sleeping&reading tyme
also had tyme to hang out with my girlfriend&my family
On sat i had a Denzel movies day
Ohhhhh that guy is just THE epitome of Chocolate
Please God send me a Denzel lookalike


I used to be able to REALLY rock the beat
someone was looking for Ibi one day in Uni and this babe goes
I'm looking for that babe that dances all nite at parties
she wears glasses-oh.............ok.she's in the first room
i wondered if i was amused or pissed at the description

myself and my friends would waltz into a party about 11pm and dance till 5/6am
not drinking nuthing or trying to catch a nap-saved u from horny guys
some friends of ours had a party they didnt invite us to
the Ac's were laced with spanish fly
i dont know if it worked but they obviously had plans to shag any one who seemed ready and willing

I have always felt if u can move ur body on the dance floor-u sure as hell will be able to do so in a bed
I haven't been proven wrong yet

So i have noticed i cant do all the things they do in music videos
while i have no intentions of going to a party then try to buggy by copying Psquares or Kaffy's moves
I would like to be sexy-all that tummy rolling&booty shaking
every gal on tv seems able to do
sadly i cannot
i guess my bones are becoming feeble

I do know that Thanks to my Austrian Aunt
My legs are still able to do what i ask them to do
spread as far apart as i ask it
hang on a guys shoulder
or wrap aroung him soooo tight he needs to ask me to loosen up so he can breathe
Since i can still perform those functions
that's how flexible i need to be

Update.................
fuckmate tried to hook up this easter
wasnt in the mood for him
I guess i am saving myself for someone else
pray who will it be?I have no idea
it still hasnt happened............
when will it?i know not

But when it does........whoever it is
Please God.........i ask that he make my vagina sing songs of praise
cos my vagina has not reached its full potential since i broke up with Mel
Mel&I were an item for 3yrs(03-06)
I believed he was *the one*
Fuckmate came on the scene last yr
with him its not what i need.........
i need me a guy that will make me sing songs worthy of a Grammy
I wanna sings those songs from both ends of me
*wink*

V-monologues

Caught it yesterday(V-monologues)
part cos i am a cheapskate-it cost only 300 naira at the National Theatre
part cos i am patriotic-national theatre(yea right)
part cos i wanted to distract my girlfriend
without spending a lot of cash(yea me being a cheapskate again)
part cos i wanted entertainment

Omonor Imobhio was FABULOUS
Bimbo Akintola brought tears to my eyes
Ashionye was hilarious
Jennifer Osammor was great
Kemi(lala)Akindoju was stellar
Tunde Aladese was spectacular
Yinka Davies made me hate war more
The male actors?superb
didnt get to see Funmi Iyanda,Kate Henshaw & Stella Damasus

If u haven't caught it
do so today 20th March 6pm Terra culture Victoria Island
else.....u have to wait till next year

Saw Laspapi-when he came out to introduce the cast
didn't get to say hi
after it was done cos my girlfriend needed to go

So yesterday was a public holiday
woke up sans alarm(BLISSFUL)
reconciled with my couch
had a leisurely breakfast.
a siesta(me a siesta????)
then went for the show
then a bday dinner
fun day

no plans for easter yet
but i kinda like it that way
i can pick and choose who i wanna go see
where i wanna go

Happy Easter u all

How far?

Not far?
fuckmate caught the ground-nut i threw him
traffic was a bitch-*the do* hasnt happened

i have managed to keep my raging hormones under control
by staying away from blogs that talk too much about *the do*
thank the Lord Ubongda has stopped posting

have a new friend-she assures me she's female
she keeps sending me emails about measuring height
(new word for the do)
she expects me to reciprocate
while i can gist about the do(measure height) on my blog or with friends i choose
i dont get the idea of trying to strike and maintain a friendship with a person online when all she wants to do is talk about MH
i am starting to think she isn't female or shes's just bisexual

whenever i get online friends
if for whatever reason i strike up an online friendship
i stay friends online for at least 2 yrs before i decide to hook up
for others i stay online freinds forever
i have no wish to meet up with some pple in person
she now belongs to that category
i aiint looking forward to a sister touching me in places............
she invited me to bauchi for her birthday on the 1st April
while i have no idea why i must take a day or 2 of work for her birthday
she added more glamour by saying she will send me money for the trip AND come and pick me up
she is definitely stalking me

MH-measure height
makes u wonder when u think of couples like the Smiths(Will&Jada)
if they truly measure their heights
I am living proof that it dont matter what the height difference
is btw u and a partner
the ass will still be tapped
men appear more macho with smaller mates anyways
they get to manoeuver
a friend once said smaller mates are malleable


a pal said a gynecologist cleans where others have pleasured themselves
y should he not get a piece?

Chocolate

Love enriches the soul
delights the heart but takes
unrelenting and unabating effort


Can someone get this guy off my back?????
(the guy from complicated post)
i need to get laid soon
its been a while
i just mite swallow my pride and buzz fuckmate
at least thats all the friensdhip is about
help me release tension when i get pent up-without the drama


i like it when a pair of jeans
rides low
male or female butt............
dont matter
i do have a problem if i get to see the butt crack



I love chocolate
dont mind strawberry
not into vanilla

i think it translates into my taste in men

i prefer them looking like Denzel
with the swagger-i will die

Greek guys/Indians guys(not exactly pink like strawberry but not exactly brown)

Light skinned guys???nah
can appreciate a good looking brother even if he's fair skinned
but personally............
give me a chocolate coloured brother ANYDAY

i think i am gonna call fuckmate...............

And i saw STARS................

Everytime i annoyed my dad
all he did was pick up a paper pretend to read
then ask u to knock on the wall behind him
yea not door,wall till he could hear
i would do it for a few seconds,groan about my knuckles
and Papa would say-dont do that again
whatever it was.................


so when i got my first boyf-M
we were kidding around one day and he said i would give u the beating ur father forgot to give u
he was right on target
Papa never beat me
But Mama(another story)
and i remembered my first............

I spent the years 9-16 with my Gramps
Gramps youngest child(my Uncle)is 4 years older than moi(dad is Gramps eldest son)
thing is 2youngsters-what do u get?
sibling rivalry
or in our own case......uncle-niece rivalry
i liked to get the guy into trouble
anything he did and hid from Gramps
his best bet was i should not find out
else Gramps was sure to hear and the guy would be lashed and or punished
this had gone on for about a year
this day,apparently-dude was tired of my tell-tale attitude
soon after i reported and he had being punished for the umpteenth tyme
i went to tell him Grandma was looking for him
he said-ok but come,i want to give u something
i had forgotten ooooooooo-usually i avoid him for days
after any incident
soon as i got close enough

he just raised his hand-i wasn't thinking straight(i had never gotten one before)
and landed me a slap
i swear i saw STARS
u know when u watch a cartoon and they fall and see those birds,butterflies or whatever that fly across their eyes
i did see............little fireflies
i was shellshocked
i didnt even have it in me to go report the incident to Gramps
well he was praying and everyone knows noone dares disturb the guy during salat
i did tell Grandma though-who promised me heaven i dont tell Gramps
i never did tell Gramps especially when i remember Uncle promised me
i would get another if i told

i never got another
i stopped telling on him
peace reigned in our abode

FIRST HUG

Found a new word-well not in the dictionary or anything
but u know how we all say
fuck,shag,gbensh,roll in the hay..........
i guess it's not new to some
but i like how it sounds
boffing
thats my new word for *the do*


I was 18
8pm April 24 1996
yea i remember the date
was seeing my cousin off to her abode
cos we lived in different apartments the first year in uni
saw a guy..........
and i thot *Oh my God those biceps are not real*
he was at the junction with a friend(small guy)
i didnt notice him(smally)
i only had eyes for this tall dark (found out)good looking dude
he wasnt built like Arnold/Vin but at that age,most guys i knew were skinny
they said hello to my cousin and the introductions followed
i hated my cousin that instant for knowing a hunk like that and not telling me
we walked on and i accused her and she was like
oh she met them a few days ago
they are a riot-bunch of 2 cousins and 3 other friends
already we had such a team-cousin and 1 and 3 other friends -how cute

Anyone ever wondered how after u meet a person u seem to always bump into them?
next day and every day after that-our paths would cross.........
i must have being sending out some vibes
he seemed smitten too
but no one was making a move
after a while he would come for visits
i lived on a storey building-i could always see who was coming up the stairs
if it was him i would meet him/them at the top of the stairs
Ohhhhhhhhh i am headed to K's place(my cousin)
we would stroll down there together
the idea was-much as i was giddy having him around
i wasnt looking forward to being alone with him
to this day i have no idea why i had such a notion

we kept on at this till Dec
cousin and I found an apartment we could both move into
was closer to Dudes abode-lets call him M
A day later we move in-he walks by
Oh u babes now live here?(M)
yea(I)
I live just around the corner-i mite drop in tonite(M)
Oh we are travelling in a few hours(I)
headed home for an Aunts wedding(I)
When will u b back?(M)
lectures on mon so back sun nite(I)
ok see u then(M)

Home/Wedding was fun-all the while i had it at the back of my mind
*He* lives around the corner from my new abode
Got to sch-roomie says she saw him yesterday and invited him in for a drink
he was grilling her about me so she just said
ASK HER OUT
he was perplexed she said-she goes i have noticed how u both have been pussyfooting around each other and it's sooooooo obvious to who is looking u are both smitten
ask her out already
he goes ok(I guess that was the impetus he needed)

When she relays the convo-at first i freak out
then i go-hey i have been drooling since April
i am gonna say yes(if he dares ask)

He comes to visit-we chat,laff as a group
he says he's leaving
i get up to see him off
we walk a few mins then he says
Ibi-will u be my girlfriend?
I ask-are u sure thats what u want?
He says yes-well i can give u tyme to think about it
I said YES-i dont need tyme to think about nothing
been waiting since forever for u to ask
So there in the middle of the street
he gets this big grin on his face-moves closer and gives me a big bear HUG
i felt cocooned

he then proceeds to gimme a peck
T'was soooo sweet
some guy who wasn't enjoying the show
yells at us to get a room before we get squashed by a car
we say our goodbyes
and i go to the room grinning from ear to ear
to tell roomie,cousin and other friends the good news
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND

is the title of the post right?
is it first hug or first boyfriend
*wink*

have a fabulous weekend
MWAH

Phallus

My 3 yr old cousin told her friend who annoyed her
"ori e da bi oko"(your head looks like a ....
yea.....dick willy sausage phallus snake penis
so i asked her what oko is.......
she says "kini ti awon malla ma fin to"
that thing mallams use to pee
so u see she knows what she talking about


which brings me to the first tyme I saw a phallus
i was 8
we were in Kano visiting my Aunt and her family
throughly enjoyed the plane ride
no bus ride this tyme
mum,meself and my brother
i was sooo looking forward to the swings in their estate
my Uncle worked for CBN then
my Aunt was/is a teacher,then she had a lot of Indian students
she had a pile of Indian magazines from her students and fellow indian teachers

there was an indian movie on tv everyday then
it just fuelled my love for Amitabh Bachan

moving on.....this fateful day i woke up
needed to pee........
my cousins i shared a room with, where taking forever in the loo and tub
i went to the boys room -samething

went to my mums room-she was doing number two
i really needed to go
so i went into my aunts room
she was also doing number two
why was everyone against me*&*%#%^@$&

i decided to do it in the bathroom
why i did not go whine to my mum or my cousins or the boys
i have no idea...........
but i wasnt peeing in my panties
at the door to my aunts tub i listened for water splashing
no sound...........so no one there
or so i thot

i push open the door already lifting my nightie
behold....this THING
i had no name for it
and my uncle's shocked face
i stood for about 10 secs staring at the thing
i realised my uncles is NAKED
so i ran out
yea the urge to pee left me

mins later mum hears about the escapade and goes
Ibi did u see anything when u opened the door?
i said no but i am sorry i didnt know Uncle was there
i know its wrong to pee in the tub but i really needed to go
all i wanted to do was a quick one and i will rinse the tub

she goes-why didnt u come to me?
why didnt u go check if any of the other loos was no longer occupied?
i already told her sorry abi?
but i had no intention of soiling meself
mum says no problem as long as u saw nuthing
i reaffirmed i saw nuthing


she grills me for another 5 mins and i keep saying i saw nothnig
she lets me go....i thot i got the best of "inspector gadget" today
she wont hear me say i saw sumthing
wetin i see sef?



2hrs later (i don forget o)
she calls me to the room whilst the others were engrossed wit a movie on tv
my mum knows if u need me to spill blood get me away from a movie i am engrossed in
and starts to grill me again
what did u see
what type of woman is this$£%^&**^$£
i said i no see anthing abi na by force?
she then threatens to beat the living daylights outta me
belive my mum when she says that
she will at least try......

so i start to cry and i said
ok i saw something............
what is it?
i dont know
i didnt see it well
i have never seen it before but i saw something sha

she then beats me o
imagine
a scared for life little 8 year old
she beats me
my offence?i lied to her
NEVER EVER LIE TO ME
haven't i always drummed that into your head?
when my mum beats u-do ur best not to scream

cos if anyone comes to say
pls mama ibi stop
she will only increase the intensity
so i had to make sure folks in the living room wouldn't hear me

only then does she let me be after telling me i was never to enter my aunts room not even bathroom AGAIN unless SHE(my mum) not room owner calls me in

na wa o
i no even know the name of the thing i see
it wasnt until primary 6 (2yrs later)and the reproductive system that i caught a glimpse of it in the biology book
but we were not taught about *it*
just ours

my next encounter with a phallus was when i watched my first porn at 13