Friday, July 18, 2008

FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i've got nurring much to say

my itch is still dia

my crystal ball still hasnt come up with a face

it looks like i aiint getting any

i will survive this drought

going celibate is not an option

ignoring the itch hardly helps

lately i've been admiring this good looking brother
that works in a differnt branch of my firm-its not
like i need him to scratch my itch....

i just like watching him walk.....*sigh*..the swagger


well Enigma....this is for you.....




A chicken and egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette
with a satisfied smile on its face, while the egg is frowning and
looking slightly annoyed. The chicken turns over on its side and mutters,
"Well, I guess that solves that debate."




Jack decides to go skiing with his buddy Bob. They load up Jack's
station wagon and head north. After driving for a few hours, they get
caught in a terrible blizzard. They pull into a nearby farmhouse and
ask the attractive lady of the house if they can spend the night.

"I'm recently widowed," she explains, "and I'm afraid the neighbors
will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Not to worry," Jack says, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."

Nine months later, Jack gets a letter from the widow's attorney. He
calls up his friend Bob and says, "Bob, do you remember that
good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?"

"Yes, I do," Bob says.

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the
house and have sex with her?" Jack asks.

"Yes, I have to admit that I did," Bob says.

"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?" Jack
asks.

Bob's face turns red and he says, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."

"Well, thanks a lot, pal…” Jack says. “She just died and left me her
farm."



A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, ready to consummate
their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession
to make, I’m not a virgin.”

The husband replies, “That’s not a big deal in this day and age.”

The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.”

“Oh yeah? Who was the guy?”

“Tiger Woods.”

“Tiger Woods, the golfer?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed
with him.”

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

“What are you doing?” asks the wife.

The husband says, “I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and get
something to eat.”

“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

“He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make
love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. “Now what are
you doing?” she asks.

The husband says, “I’m still hungry so I was going to get room service
to get something to eat.”

“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

“He’d come back to bed and do it again.”

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more
time.

When they finish he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone
and starts to dial.

The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?”

“No! I’m calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn
hole.”

11 comments:

Enigma said...

FIRST!!!!!!

Nine said...

LOL.

LG said...

hehehehehehe
naughty gal

how booty??? *winks*

theicequeen said...

awwh, conji is in the air huh? howfa them applicatons you said you wer receivin? sebi you know its me and you that are lookin at them? cuz me i havent been fowarded any and im wonderin if youre hoggin them :P lol!

SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE said...

Awww.....someone no go chop body ...lol pele!!! As for me and my household I chop die on saturday..uhhh!!! Dis na monday morning and i nefa recover.

ibiluv said...

@enigma.....yes u are

@nine....glad u like...

@lg...abeg no remind me....

@theicequeen.....rain beat all the applications...

@someoneelse'slife..*yawn*...thanks for rubbing it in.........

Jaguda said...

hahahaha. like the one about the chicken coming first. that riddle is solved now for life. well u could flirt with him, just to get it out of ur system. it can be healthy u know......nice jokes

ibiluv said...

@jaguda......well i did catch him on the way to teh canteen this morning.......

we had a few words.....t'was great....my eyes were fluttering of their own volition.......*sigh*....

thing is nothing with me is ever simple,if i like what i see....now if i didn't like his swagger....i could keep it simple......

so next time i see him...i will head to my desk to tackle more paperwork rather than get all twisted......*wink*.......

Mz. Dee said...

lmao at the tiger woodz joke!
dis jst made me night

Buttercup said...

yes, u will survive!!!

hmmmm some guys have just got THE SWAGGER..they just make me wanna.....

and i been seein lots at skul lately..its in cases like this that i wonder what im doin in a long-distance relationship!(i love my boo o, i do!)

LMAO @ the jokes...

ibiluv said...

@mz.dee.i aim to please girl......

@buttercup....totally with u on him making me wanna.......

sorry babe....never liked long distance.....but when i am hooked on a dude...i notice no one else.....*wink*...

glad it works for u though....