I've got on red nails
i've got on a sleek hairdo
i've a mini dress
i'm gonna pamper my skin
then get a bikini wax.....
its on dearie.....it's on....
wink
She's soooooooo wicked
If i was dating a married man
i wouldn't encroach on his personal space
See...Dad had 2 other mum's
Mum had 2 other mum's
so i come from a generation of women who share
friends find it odd when i say i can share
my very first boyfriend couldnt understand
why i never got mad when he cheated on me
if i asked...did you? and he says...no
it was all i wanted to hear
it meant(to me)
if i was married to his ass
she was still a girlfriend or a mistress
def not a mate(for me)
squeeze your face all you want
spit all you want
i come from a family of women who share
and i have no issues sharing if i have to
i just want the sharing to be fair
so back to my story
if i was dating a married man
and his wife's pic is his screensaver
it would not bother me
if i was dating a married man and he,wifey and the kids
did london-dubai-US for three weeks and all i get is a perfume
it would not bother me
if i was dating a married man and he talked about his plans
his dreams,his biz and all this had wifey and kids in it and no me
it would not bother me
if i was dating a married man and he always had money for madam and the kids and all i ever get is a measely financial boost one every few months it wouldnt bother me
i would enjoy every minute i get with him
not mind (so much)about the dates that get canclled
cos jnr fell ill or daughter had a recital he couldnt miss
or madam needed him at home to put on the gen
you know why?
she freaking owns him
and he owes her.....
he swore before God and man to be there for her....always
and his *unborn children*
what I have with him I cant justify when i go down on my knees
what she has with him she can justify everyday....to everyone
and to the *supreme being*
i digress....
its hard to judge why people cheat on their spouses
or why single people date married people
some girlfriends will become second,third or fourth wives
some girlfriends will be elevated to mistresses
some will bear the term the *the mother of my children*
some girlfriends will have their relationship fizzle out
some girlfriends will eventually become that girl you used to shag
but whose husband you now play golf with
the one who helps your wife understand you berra
is there when you need someone to talk to
but cos you are both married
neither of you will cheat on their spouse
I consider her a friend-she's like the sister
i dont have
everyone else in my life doesnt get me as much as she does
.......but when she told me
she sent an sms to her Tolu's wife (her married boo's wife)
...........*i'm pregnant for Tolu*
i told her
she is wicked
i still cant comprehend it
then she says
her emotions run deep
she wants him to marry her
she is mad about having aborted the pregnancy last yr
(i just found out about this abortion)
granted wifey calls her up
send curses her way....etc
but wifey can do that shit
even though her pulling such stunts means she's crass
cos women who have class know...
if u are mad at hubby
*punish ur man*
ignore the litle hussy who has her claws in ur man
oh did i tell u
when Tolu needs to go out and
he sends an sms to wifey saying where he is gonna be
it annoys my pal
did i mention
said pal was devastated by her father's
actions when he got a second wifey cos
her mama was relegated to the warehouse
(felt like it)
stupid girl probably doesnt remember what
it was like growing up in her home anymore
she has her eyes set on becoming the *other* woman
i'm appalled at her
i'm mad at her
i'm surprised that she learnt nurrin
from her parents's situation
and i still think
she is down right wicked
when i get invited to a wedding
if the groom is my pal and i know only him
chances are.....i wont attend
i just appreciate being invited
if the bride is my friend and i know only her
chances are.....i wont attend
i just appreciate being invited
but i will buy the aso ebi
if i and some other peeps are friends with
either or both the groom and or bride
chances are.......i will attend
I and other friends can keep ourselves company
if the couple forgets to plan for us
i've been to weddings that i dont even get a sip of water
sorry folks
bad planning by couple
cos your friends wont chase after the caterer or your mama
so if noone is detailed to entertain them
they will share your happy day but
stay hungry and dehydrated
but..........
what is it with peeps who get married and dont tell you?
it feels sneaky...........i hate sneaky
i understand about peeps needing to have quiet weddings
i understand about peeps not wanting you at their weddings
but you can send me an sms,mail,chat,post,ping,buzz
i'm getting married soon
dont even hint me about date or venue
i'll know you informed me even if you didnt invite me
i get so upset when i get to facebook
and another status has changed
i guess people forget to invite peeps
once again
all i need is to be informed
i dont need to be invited
i may not even honour the invite
but when i dont hear about it and a week later
your status changes on facebook
it upsets me
cos i care....
becos you see only the people i care about
......are able to hurt me
with their words and or deeds
it tells me said friend doesnt care as much as i do
my friend tells me to shut up about it
i wont invite everyone she tells me
i know i wont
i honestly want a wedding of about 30 people
but my mum gets to be mother of the bride once
me
so i may have to let her invite the
whole town like i know she wants,needs to
but we may compromise
i really would love a nikkah of about 30 peeps
then a big reception(to please my mum and the clan)
months or even a year later.....
but i'm not bothering myself about it yet anyways
i need me a yam supplier first
(42 tubers of yam)
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Lion King,Preggies,Passwords,
Finally saw lion king at my salon
yup i know..........
where have i been?
i have no idea.....
Had another convo with my uncle
his take....pregnant women are delicious
he says if a man has a long dong
all he needs to do is stay away from his wife in her first trimester
soon as she hits the 4th month or did he say 5th month?
he can carry go....shagging as he pleases
.....his take...a pregnant woman secretes more
hence allowing for berra lubrication
and preggies enjoy the sex too
so why say cos wifey is preggers; no sex
please try it he advises
you shall not be disappointed he assures you
oh he also said some babies have come screaming
into this world with semen all over them
(now i know why his wifey had those miscarraiges)
my uncle has a long dong
my uncle has a long dong
wink
so why do people put passwords on their fones?
it irritates the shit outta me
i tried it once
doesnt work for me
having to put a password in, every tyme
i needed to make a call or send an sms
was frustrating for me
the password lasted 20mins
wink
i dont scroll thru people's stuff
its just not me
i however hate it
absolutely hate it when people go thru my stuff
fones,drawers,bag in my absence
in part cos i always place things a certain way
so, if that order is tampered with
it annoys the shit outta me
but if someone wants to read my emails,sms,go thru my pics
help yaself
anything you see that bothers you
please take it to your grave
remember ignorance is bliss
and opening pandoras box always
brings on grave consequences
sigh..........
this thrush has refused to go away
need to see my doc....i ususally dont self medicate
but how many women dont self medicate when it comes to thrush???
its like part of our daily lives.....
maybe i can sneak in a pap smear
wink
yup i know..........
where have i been?
i have no idea.....
Had another convo with my uncle
his take....pregnant women are delicious
he says if a man has a long dong
all he needs to do is stay away from his wife in her first trimester
soon as she hits the 4th month or did he say 5th month?
he can carry go....shagging as he pleases
.....his take...a pregnant woman secretes more
hence allowing for berra lubrication
and preggies enjoy the sex too
so why say cos wifey is preggers; no sex
please try it he advises
you shall not be disappointed he assures you
oh he also said some babies have come screaming
into this world with semen all over them
(now i know why his wifey had those miscarraiges)
my uncle has a long dong
my uncle has a long dong
wink
so why do people put passwords on their fones?
it irritates the shit outta me
i tried it once
doesnt work for me
having to put a password in, every tyme
i needed to make a call or send an sms
was frustrating for me
the password lasted 20mins
wink
i dont scroll thru people's stuff
its just not me
i however hate it
absolutely hate it when people go thru my stuff
fones,drawers,bag in my absence
in part cos i always place things a certain way
so, if that order is tampered with
it annoys the shit outta me
but if someone wants to read my emails,sms,go thru my pics
help yaself
anything you see that bothers you
please take it to your grave
remember ignorance is bliss
and opening pandoras box always
brings on grave consequences
sigh..........
this thrush has refused to go away
need to see my doc....i ususally dont self medicate
but how many women dont self medicate when it comes to thrush???
its like part of our daily lives.....
maybe i can sneak in a pap smear
wink
Monday, May 31, 2010
Mi Blog is Three!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My Blog is 3 today
Yippie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is fabulous with his tongue
he has a small phallus(she told me)
he is possessive
checks her fone,stresses over everything
wonders how as a markerter in a bank
she seems homely
his possessiveness drove her nuts and she said HELL NO
after all the dick no dey *fill* her neways
8 months later he marries his ex
he's been married about 10 months now
and word from him is his wife has not fucked him in 8 months
not even a kiss he says
his ex(my pal) and i are wondering if na the smallness of the dick
dey cause marital issues
why she marry am?
cos no sex after ONLY 2 months of marital bliss?
or is she pregnant?
well we didnt ask cos some wives tend to close shop
when they get pregnant
but then again
is it a case of two sexually incompatible people getting married?
but why do men marry women with whom they are not sexually compatible?
but like my cousin says........wives change........
my cousin told me
these days after 2 kids he has to beg for *it*
sometimes he needs to buy a gift for wifey
before she lets him have sum
this is a woman who would give it to him just about everywhere
and anytyme when they were dating
so is it the kids that tire her so much???
i no know why her man has to beg for it o
he confessed to loving the tyme work sent him to SA
he sowed his oats he says.......
now he is back and he is begging for it all over again
for some reason he has no plans to cheat on her in naija
but he is running out of his mind..........
i KNOW there's more to a marriage than sex
but THUNDER fire anyone that tells me
IT IS NOT IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!
colleague of mine
his wife had a miscarriage after 3 months
when she got pregnant the second time
*his words*............she closed shop
up and down shop he says
she for at least open the top shop he said
but she was sore.....
shop was closed for 9 months and now the baby is here
shop is still closed.......
(i know there is a 6 week no sex after baby rule)
its been 3 months since the baby came
he MUST be a saint cos i know him well enuff(i think) to know
he probably has mastered the art of masturbating
or he just cant,wont sleep with others to let go of his sexual tension
cos he tells me almost on a daily,how sexually frustrated he is
i always give him a great big hug and tell him to hang in there.....
another colleague has the same scenario
miscarriage and shop closed
but with him???all he needs is a willing female
who knows??? he may already have a few....
I love sex......after i discovered it...
i keep wondering if pregnancy and kids
will keep away from *my* phallus
cos i know when i decide to have and to hold
one for the rest of me life
its gotta be a pretty good specimen
else why would i wanna forsake all others???
so if i decide to forsake all others
how can he be sexually frustrated if we are in the same bed???
ok fine-some days/nights-one or both of us is too tired
some days/nights...one or both of us is mad....so there will be no soundtracks
some days/nights...I or he will be away
i can understand a few days of madness in personal lifes and no sex happens
but
man
woman
bed
court documents signed to say sex is legal
yams exchanged
dowries paid in families where dowries are accepted
and one month
two months
then to hear 8 months
NO FREAKING NOOKIE?????
WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO???????
wives stop letting those women outside outshine you jo
so even if and when he gets sum on the outside
because some men will...........
homeboy knows for sure that when he gets home
madam will fuck him like a porn star!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know someone who is in love with a man who has
4 wives and 9 children
She is seperated from her own husband
her husband has remarried or is currently cohabiting
with another woman who has a son for him
and he is asking for a divorce
what i dont understand is
she gets into a relationship after her seperation and it is
with a man with 4 wives????
cos for a woman to be number 5
guy must have DIRTY MONEY
wrinkle your nose all you want
shake your head if you will
but something must make a woman wanna be number 5
if you dont know what i mean
ever been near a compost heap?
see how bad it smells and affects you?
yels money that does that to a person
heheheheheheeheheheh
i'm a muslim.....almost everyone i'm related to
is a polygamist
i come from a world where polygamy
is encouraged and accepted
man takes a second wife...no need to crucify him
if we are able to know the inner workings of the man's mind
more often than naught...he has a valid reason....
hard to believe i know
wrinkle your nose
shake ya head
spit on the floor if you will
if the guy is not a promiscous fuckhead
there is usually a valid reason......Q.E.D
but when he takes a third and a fourth
he is either a confirmed polygamist.....hehehehehehe
or a KING
so help me ask this person i know
is madness worrying her?
she has been crying ooooo
begging him(Mr 4 wives) to come back
cos her elder sister made a big fuss and
Oga said im no do again
me i dey wonder gan ni
number 5?
9 children?
so her kid if any...will be number 10?
if his money isnt smelling...yea dirty money smells....
there is no basis for number 5ism
cos if he is a pussy eater
he probably has eaten 4 pussys before he heads to yours
if he is a kisser
that 4 pussy eating mouth will pass you saliva????
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
abi i lie?
dick enter pussy 1,2,3,4 then hers
mouth chop pussy 1,2,3,4 then hers
mouth exchanges saliva with mouth 1,2,3,4 then hers
moreover if he's shagging her(she's not his wife is she?)
then he is shagging others!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and (whisper)your average married man doesnt use condoms
well he's gotten used to, not needing to wear the damn thing
matter of fact....most married phalluses detest *the sheath*
I hear peeps attest to it(men and women alike)
once you put a sheath on such a dick
dick goes to sleep
so her own Oga is probably going sheathless
into some 5 pussys and counting????
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh the things we endure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes...............we....
you,I and all of us whey dey shag.........
Yippie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is fabulous with his tongue
he has a small phallus(she told me)
he is possessive
checks her fone,stresses over everything
wonders how as a markerter in a bank
she seems homely
his possessiveness drove her nuts and she said HELL NO
after all the dick no dey *fill* her neways
8 months later he marries his ex
he's been married about 10 months now
and word from him is his wife has not fucked him in 8 months
not even a kiss he says
his ex(my pal) and i are wondering if na the smallness of the dick
dey cause marital issues
why she marry am?
cos no sex after ONLY 2 months of marital bliss?
or is she pregnant?
well we didnt ask cos some wives tend to close shop
when they get pregnant
but then again
is it a case of two sexually incompatible people getting married?
but why do men marry women with whom they are not sexually compatible?
but like my cousin says........wives change........
my cousin told me
these days after 2 kids he has to beg for *it*
sometimes he needs to buy a gift for wifey
before she lets him have sum
this is a woman who would give it to him just about everywhere
and anytyme when they were dating
so is it the kids that tire her so much???
i no know why her man has to beg for it o
he confessed to loving the tyme work sent him to SA
he sowed his oats he says.......
now he is back and he is begging for it all over again
for some reason he has no plans to cheat on her in naija
but he is running out of his mind..........
i KNOW there's more to a marriage than sex
but THUNDER fire anyone that tells me
IT IS NOT IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!
colleague of mine
his wife had a miscarriage after 3 months
when she got pregnant the second time
*his words*............she closed shop
up and down shop he says
she for at least open the top shop he said
but she was sore.....
shop was closed for 9 months and now the baby is here
shop is still closed.......
(i know there is a 6 week no sex after baby rule)
its been 3 months since the baby came
he MUST be a saint cos i know him well enuff(i think) to know
he probably has mastered the art of masturbating
or he just cant,wont sleep with others to let go of his sexual tension
cos he tells me almost on a daily,how sexually frustrated he is
i always give him a great big hug and tell him to hang in there.....
another colleague has the same scenario
miscarriage and shop closed
but with him???all he needs is a willing female
who knows??? he may already have a few....
I love sex......after i discovered it...
i keep wondering if pregnancy and kids
will keep away from *my* phallus
cos i know when i decide to have and to hold
one for the rest of me life
its gotta be a pretty good specimen
else why would i wanna forsake all others???
so if i decide to forsake all others
how can he be sexually frustrated if we are in the same bed???
ok fine-some days/nights-one or both of us is too tired
some days/nights...one or both of us is mad....so there will be no soundtracks
some days/nights...I or he will be away
i can understand a few days of madness in personal lifes and no sex happens
but
man
woman
bed
court documents signed to say sex is legal
yams exchanged
dowries paid in families where dowries are accepted
and one month
two months
then to hear 8 months
NO FREAKING NOOKIE?????
WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO???????
wives stop letting those women outside outshine you jo
so even if and when he gets sum on the outside
because some men will...........
homeboy knows for sure that when he gets home
madam will fuck him like a porn star!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know someone who is in love with a man who has
4 wives and 9 children
She is seperated from her own husband
her husband has remarried or is currently cohabiting
with another woman who has a son for him
and he is asking for a divorce
what i dont understand is
she gets into a relationship after her seperation and it is
with a man with 4 wives????
cos for a woman to be number 5
guy must have DIRTY MONEY
wrinkle your nose all you want
shake your head if you will
but something must make a woman wanna be number 5
if you dont know what i mean
ever been near a compost heap?
see how bad it smells and affects you?
yels money that does that to a person
heheheheheheeheheheh
i'm a muslim.....almost everyone i'm related to
is a polygamist
i come from a world where polygamy
is encouraged and accepted
man takes a second wife...no need to crucify him
if we are able to know the inner workings of the man's mind
more often than naught...he has a valid reason....
hard to believe i know
wrinkle your nose
shake ya head
spit on the floor if you will
if the guy is not a promiscous fuckhead
there is usually a valid reason......Q.E.D
but when he takes a third and a fourth
he is either a confirmed polygamist.....hehehehehehe
or a KING
so help me ask this person i know
is madness worrying her?
she has been crying ooooo
begging him(Mr 4 wives) to come back
cos her elder sister made a big fuss and
Oga said im no do again
me i dey wonder gan ni
number 5?
9 children?
so her kid if any...will be number 10?
if his money isnt smelling...yea dirty money smells....
there is no basis for number 5ism
cos if he is a pussy eater
he probably has eaten 4 pussys before he heads to yours
if he is a kisser
that 4 pussy eating mouth will pass you saliva????
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
abi i lie?
dick enter pussy 1,2,3,4 then hers
mouth chop pussy 1,2,3,4 then hers
mouth exchanges saliva with mouth 1,2,3,4 then hers
moreover if he's shagging her(she's not his wife is she?)
then he is shagging others!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and (whisper)your average married man doesnt use condoms
well he's gotten used to, not needing to wear the damn thing
matter of fact....most married phalluses detest *the sheath*
I hear peeps attest to it(men and women alike)
once you put a sheath on such a dick
dick goes to sleep
so her own Oga is probably going sheathless
into some 5 pussys and counting????
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh the things we endure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes...............we....
you,I and all of us whey dey shag.........
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Polygamy,Puker,Preggy,Marriage,Webcams....
So my uncle says
polygamous men live longer lives
with one wife
she could kill him so she can get all he has
with 2 wives
if one is trying to do away with him
the other is making sure he stays alive
with three
even better..........
all 3 wives want him around long enuff...else
who will fend for their upkeep with him gone???
and he ended the convo by saying he is getting himself
wife number two a few years from now
sigh
i was one of those irritating kids
if we went to a petrol station
i will puke
if i went on a plane ride
i will puke
if it was a bus ride,so long as i had a meal
before embarking on the journey
i will puke
if a man decidded to puff beside me
i will puke
lucky me-papa didnt smoke
uncles who did............
stayed away from me
i can now feast before and during plane rides,bus rides
trips to the petrol station
without puking
as for men who smoke
i've dated and even dreamt of being married to 3
see how people change
My Pal is pregnant!!!!!
happy for her
At first she was sad
now she seems resigned to the situation
her fiance is not around
so i guess the idea of long cold alone nights
na im cause all the cry cry
i sooooo look forward to seeing her with her bump
heheheheheheeheh
Am i weird
i honestly dont give a damn about the institution marriage....yet
my cousin disgusts me
every freaking sentence
she cant wait to be outta here
in her own home
she cant wait to be married
funny thing is
she doesnt look,act the part(potential wife)
wish her well sha..........na she sabi
...i keep telling people to stop being worried
for me
i'm not worried.......werrin dia own??
coupledom will happen for me
cos even the Lord knows i'm not yet mentally and emotionally ready
dats why he's keeping the yam buyer away
(yup...........future husband of mine owes my family 42 tubers of yam)
wink
as for webcams
mine suppose don blow
the things we get up to...
kai...............
polygamous men live longer lives
with one wife
she could kill him so she can get all he has
with 2 wives
if one is trying to do away with him
the other is making sure he stays alive
with three
even better..........
all 3 wives want him around long enuff...else
who will fend for their upkeep with him gone???
and he ended the convo by saying he is getting himself
wife number two a few years from now
sigh
i was one of those irritating kids
if we went to a petrol station
i will puke
if i went on a plane ride
i will puke
if it was a bus ride,so long as i had a meal
before embarking on the journey
i will puke
if a man decidded to puff beside me
i will puke
lucky me-papa didnt smoke
uncles who did............
stayed away from me
i can now feast before and during plane rides,bus rides
trips to the petrol station
without puking
as for men who smoke
i've dated and even dreamt of being married to 3
see how people change
My Pal is pregnant!!!!!
happy for her
At first she was sad
now she seems resigned to the situation
her fiance is not around
so i guess the idea of long cold alone nights
na im cause all the cry cry
i sooooo look forward to seeing her with her bump
heheheheheheeheh
Am i weird
i honestly dont give a damn about the institution marriage....yet
my cousin disgusts me
every freaking sentence
she cant wait to be outta here
in her own home
she cant wait to be married
funny thing is
she doesnt look,act the part(potential wife)
wish her well sha..........na she sabi
...i keep telling people to stop being worried
for me
i'm not worried.......werrin dia own??
coupledom will happen for me
cos even the Lord knows i'm not yet mentally and emotionally ready
dats why he's keeping the yam buyer away
(yup...........future husband of mine owes my family 42 tubers of yam)
wink
as for webcams
mine suppose don blow
the things we get up to...
kai...............
Monday, May 3, 2010
Stroll,Fela,M-word,Compromise....
Took a stroll after dinner this evening
saw two couples
different distances
couple one hugging by the roadside
one half had to be headed off to theirs
other couple downstairs in the dark
and i thought....cute
but....a roadside hug mean say
them no get motor(heheheheheheheh)
and a downstairs in the dark hug mean say
make mama and or papa no catch them...
hehehehehehehehehehehehehe
mind me not
just feeling evil
must be all the pettyness Cruella spreads my way
must be rubbing off.....
I MISS FELA ANIKULAPO KUTI
his music.......
used to own a few tapes
cant find my old tapes
need to go get me some cd's
i remember boyfriend i was dating then
used to say i acted possessed whilst listening to his music
guy threathened to throw my tapes out
kept my tapes away from him
and indulged in my obsession or possession whenever he wasnt around
wink
When a guy stops taking your calls,wont email,text,visit....
is he breaking up with ya?
I think he is.....
My cousin finally read the writing on the wall
guy is an ass though
a man can get most things he wants without dangling the M word
cos when you do dangle then misbehave....i really just wonder
i know some men do that, cos it seems thats all the girl wants to hear
i think its decidedly evil though to dangle the M word with a babe
who is soooooo ready to be married
when there are soooooooo many other girls that will let you do as you please
with each realising thats all there is to it......sex and or friendship
no in-laws,no wedding,no kids ever.....
but then again, why is that once *sum* babes dont hear Marriage dey wont date
NOT EVERY MAN IS USEFUL FOR THE LONG HAUL
sometimes all a man is good for......is his dick
sometimes his money
sometimes he can get you up the corporate ladder
or he is just that darling friend who helps you sieve the good from the bad
cos,well he is male.....
cos they have a code-a man always knows-
so whenever your male friend tells you to let that guy go
drop him fast.........
Lynette of desperate housewives can always get Tom to do what she wants
its like, what she says is what gets done
Tom says letting her get her way makes her feel safe
cos her childhood was wack
In will you merry me?
The fathers told the son
the secret to a happy marriage is deciding if you wanna be right or happy
so they choose to be happy
hence they let their wives get away with most things
isnt that a *white* thing
In Naija...........what the guy wants, is all that matters...true?
I think in every relationship
there has to be balance.........compromise
with each couple there should always be the one dat can back down first
so peace can reign......
I like to talk things through when i'm calm
I hate to argue when i'm angry or mite get angry
at that point-silence is what i'll dish out
but when i'm calm...........
i can be sooooo annoying
cos i wont stop talking till u see it my way
or pretend to see it my way
and i'll enjoy it immensely cos i'm calm and
whoever it is,is probably pissed or headed there....
*evil grin*
saw two couples
different distances
couple one hugging by the roadside
one half had to be headed off to theirs
other couple downstairs in the dark
and i thought....cute
but....a roadside hug mean say
them no get motor(heheheheheheheh)
and a downstairs in the dark hug mean say
make mama and or papa no catch them...
hehehehehehehehehehehehehe
mind me not
just feeling evil
must be all the pettyness Cruella spreads my way
must be rubbing off.....
I MISS FELA ANIKULAPO KUTI
his music.......
used to own a few tapes
cant find my old tapes
need to go get me some cd's
i remember boyfriend i was dating then
used to say i acted possessed whilst listening to his music
guy threathened to throw my tapes out
kept my tapes away from him
and indulged in my obsession or possession whenever he wasnt around
wink
When a guy stops taking your calls,wont email,text,visit....
is he breaking up with ya?
I think he is.....
My cousin finally read the writing on the wall
guy is an ass though
a man can get most things he wants without dangling the M word
cos when you do dangle then misbehave....i really just wonder
i know some men do that, cos it seems thats all the girl wants to hear
i think its decidedly evil though to dangle the M word with a babe
who is soooooo ready to be married
when there are soooooooo many other girls that will let you do as you please
with each realising thats all there is to it......sex and or friendship
no in-laws,no wedding,no kids ever.....
but then again, why is that once *sum* babes dont hear Marriage dey wont date
NOT EVERY MAN IS USEFUL FOR THE LONG HAUL
sometimes all a man is good for......is his dick
sometimes his money
sometimes he can get you up the corporate ladder
or he is just that darling friend who helps you sieve the good from the bad
cos,well he is male.....
cos they have a code-a man always knows-
so whenever your male friend tells you to let that guy go
drop him fast.........
Lynette of desperate housewives can always get Tom to do what she wants
its like, what she says is what gets done
Tom says letting her get her way makes her feel safe
cos her childhood was wack
In will you merry me?
The fathers told the son
the secret to a happy marriage is deciding if you wanna be right or happy
so they choose to be happy
hence they let their wives get away with most things
isnt that a *white* thing
In Naija...........what the guy wants, is all that matters...true?
I think in every relationship
there has to be balance.........compromise
with each couple there should always be the one dat can back down first
so peace can reign......
I like to talk things through when i'm calm
I hate to argue when i'm angry or mite get angry
at that point-silence is what i'll dish out
but when i'm calm...........
i can be sooooo annoying
cos i wont stop talking till u see it my way
or pretend to see it my way
and i'll enjoy it immensely cos i'm calm and
whoever it is,is probably pissed or headed there....
*evil grin*
Monday, April 12, 2010
Padded,Customers,NYSC,Lastma,Hurt,Understand????
I saw a girl a few days ago....she walked past me
she looked padded............
Ay and I used to *pad*.........way back in uni
wear 1 or 2 pairs of shorts underneath our outfit(s)
looking at ourselves,we thought
we didnt pass for members of nassatall(no ass at all)
but seeing the young padded lady 2 days ago
she sure looked padded......so i guess
we probably didnt succeed in our quest to look like we had bigger butts
and people could see we had some extra padding to back then
sigh
isnt it just mad when conductors harrass their passengers
arent passengers the customers?
isnt the customer always right????
told the nysc guy in my office
he needs to find a way to keep busy
being online means he's idle
which is ok....if he doesnt get caught
he got caught yet again today
my boss actually said
he's always online...........
i wonder what Cruella will say in her mail tom..........
she loves to make things *official*
monday morning
saw a dead kid on the road
bus/car....something hit him/her and left him/her dia
lastma vs agberos and bus drivers had a faceoff
dey say......lastma oppresses dem
lastma says dey stop to pick and drop passengers
at busstops dat are not designated
na the peeps whey dey stranded for busstops i pity
it shouldnt hurt when ex's get engaged,married,have kids abi?
it does.......
it hurts less if he/she has nurrin on a person
but if he/she has a mate whey fyne.....maybe pass the person
it hurts..........
its way easier to accept their coupledom if their other half is fugly/stupid
and the one who gets married first........
usually doesnt get the other amongst their wedding party
sometimes dey get invited
sometimes dey get omitted
but its easier to be at an ex's wedding if already engaged/married
if not,you wish them well.......maybe(evil grin)
and wait for your own............
some are drop dead gorgeous
some its the voice
some its the height or lack of it
some its the charm
some its the shoes(dress sense)
some its the way he/she walks,talks
some its the diction
some he/she is so intelligent/stupid...(lol)
some spend money like its from a bottomless pit
some make the other feel special
some you just wanna have their genes in your offsprings
some are fabulous cooks(homemakers)
some shag you real good.....wink
so many reasons, why we are attracted or stay attracted to people
others outside of the relationship try to understand it
i advice them to stop trying..............
she looked padded............
Ay and I used to *pad*.........way back in uni
wear 1 or 2 pairs of shorts underneath our outfit(s)
looking at ourselves,we thought
we didnt pass for members of nassatall(no ass at all)
but seeing the young padded lady 2 days ago
she sure looked padded......so i guess
we probably didnt succeed in our quest to look like we had bigger butts
and people could see we had some extra padding to back then
sigh
isnt it just mad when conductors harrass their passengers
arent passengers the customers?
isnt the customer always right????
told the nysc guy in my office
he needs to find a way to keep busy
being online means he's idle
which is ok....if he doesnt get caught
he got caught yet again today
my boss actually said
he's always online...........
i wonder what Cruella will say in her mail tom..........
she loves to make things *official*
monday morning
saw a dead kid on the road
bus/car....something hit him/her and left him/her dia
lastma vs agberos and bus drivers had a faceoff
dey say......lastma oppresses dem
lastma says dey stop to pick and drop passengers
at busstops dat are not designated
na the peeps whey dey stranded for busstops i pity
it shouldnt hurt when ex's get engaged,married,have kids abi?
it does.......
it hurts less if he/she has nurrin on a person
but if he/she has a mate whey fyne.....maybe pass the person
it hurts..........
its way easier to accept their coupledom if their other half is fugly/stupid
and the one who gets married first........
usually doesnt get the other amongst their wedding party
sometimes dey get invited
sometimes dey get omitted
but its easier to be at an ex's wedding if already engaged/married
if not,you wish them well.......maybe(evil grin)
and wait for your own............
some are drop dead gorgeous
some its the voice
some its the height or lack of it
some its the charm
some its the shoes(dress sense)
some its the way he/she walks,talks
some its the diction
some he/she is so intelligent/stupid...(lol)
some spend money like its from a bottomless pit
some make the other feel special
some you just wanna have their genes in your offsprings
some are fabulous cooks(homemakers)
some shag you real good.....wink
so many reasons, why we are attracted or stay attracted to people
others outside of the relationship try to understand it
i advice them to stop trying..............
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
I'M SOOOOOO WHIPPED..............
So my cousin's neighbour has a mini stroke
they (neighbour's) rallied around to take him to the hospital
my little cousin is one of the *men* appointed to take him
old man starts to convulse and actually shits in his pants
he was at a political meeting a week later
so you all know he's better
joke is...........
when he came to a couple of days later
he asks
who has these pampers?
his younger brother whispers
eyin la lo fun ni igba ti e poopoo
*we had to use them on you when you lost control of your bowel*
couldnt help laughing at that......lol
Ubong asks why no updates?
i said i have no idea why
i've had writer's block
he says its D.........hmmmmm
I open my eyes....(my alarm goes off)
its 430am
he's still asleep
i smile to myself
i have to be at my desk in a few hours
he will be on a plane later in the day
i wriggle back into his arms
he turns...wraps his arms around me whilst still groggy..........
i lay back and sleep for about half an hour
get up,bath,dress up.....was gonna put my make up on
decided against it......
i'll do it when i get to work
I get back into bed and give him a hug
he stirs....
you dressed????
yea i say......
i kiss him.....long........slow...........deep
.......what are you doing he asks????
Smiling......I pop a mint in my mouth....
i slide his boxers off
pull out the mint
circle the tip with my minty breath
then..............his whole shaft
i hear his sharp intake of breath
i grin to myself
every last dredge of sleep is well and truly gone now
i make him squirm whilst not letting him grope me
then i raise my head....strip and tell him
i want you.....
he turns me over and goes down on me
..........i'm bucking and moaning
ok peeps i'll spill
my soundtrack is Oh my God!!!!
when i can no longer take it
i pull him up and say
fuck me..........''
and he does.........
made it to work 10 mins late
and i swear even a reduction in salary
could not have taken the smirk off my face
i had it on ALL FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Miss you D...............
My cousin was on her way home from a tryst
on a bike-she loves the speed.......
I will never get on a bike before 630am or after 7pm
when i drive......i drive 5 cars
so when i'm on a bike
we drive the damn thing together
........i dont see sooooo good at night
so i wont be on that silly machine when my sight is impaired
they see a flash of colour
colour was human
they rise,they swerve,they hit the curb
they land
machine on top of them........wheels still rolling
someone dashed towards them
help help help he says
finally an immigration guy and a taxi stop
okada guy goes in the boot
he got the worst end of the stick
some guy pays for 3 cards at the hospital
then they start to call last numbers on their fones
my cousin?
they got
her boo
her pastor and her two friends
it was 9pmish.....
Flash of colour has a nasty head gash and she's not coherent
nurses are suspecting....some bolts in her head are loose
bike man may have internal bleeding
bad facial wounds,bruises all over and he was spitting blood
he's Adamawa bound.......
she(cousin of mine) has a badly sprained hip muscle
so she has to use crutches for 2 weeks
to keep her weight off her hip muscle so it'll heal nicely
her calf is swollen.........the silencer burn
her face is swollen
badly sprained ankle
bruises on face,arms,fingers,legs
she looks like she got hit by something
(erm....she was)
hospital she was taken to....doctor who's treating her?
my friend in uni.....small world shey????
she's home tomorrow
from the hospital
its gonna be a couple of weeks before
she can ride her favourite machine
heheheheheheheheh
this is the second cousin who has had a mishap with this yeye machine
OKADA
dude in question woke up whilst under the knife to fix his broken finger
they had to give him more anaesthesia
silly ass had an out of body experience
was watching his mama and sister trying to wake him up
when he told me
i was like silly fool
so you were gonna die without leaving anything for us to inherit???
we laughed
but i sure wasnt ready to bury the asswipe.......
he did confess he told the bike man to break all speed limits
he had an appointment............
the one he kept.......was at the hospital
he's lucky he can move his finger
its slightly crooked though
a reminder of what could have been...........
he hardly gets on bikes anymore
so make una help me tell G
may her love for the machine diminish
well,i'll see what 2 weeks on crutches will teach her.......
and as for her boo?????
i think he's silly
cos knowing her
she's a stubborn fool
she would have opted for a bike instead of a cab
he really should have dropped her off home
and not done the see me off thingy they do
he comes to ours
she sees him off halfway to his
gets on a bike...back home........
our mothers dont know yet
and we are not telling......
her mum..........recently widowed
my mum.........will have to visit the docctor
well...when we fall ill...she does too
odd,crazy,silly,corny but true.........
hopefully i'm back from my hiatus...........
they (neighbour's) rallied around to take him to the hospital
my little cousin is one of the *men* appointed to take him
old man starts to convulse and actually shits in his pants
he was at a political meeting a week later
so you all know he's better
joke is...........
when he came to a couple of days later
he asks
who has these pampers?
his younger brother whispers
eyin la lo fun ni igba ti e poopoo
*we had to use them on you when you lost control of your bowel*
couldnt help laughing at that......lol
Ubong asks why no updates?
i said i have no idea why
i've had writer's block
he says its D.........hmmmmm
I open my eyes....(my alarm goes off)
its 430am
he's still asleep
i smile to myself
i have to be at my desk in a few hours
he will be on a plane later in the day
i wriggle back into his arms
he turns...wraps his arms around me whilst still groggy..........
i lay back and sleep for about half an hour
get up,bath,dress up.....was gonna put my make up on
decided against it......
i'll do it when i get to work
I get back into bed and give him a hug
he stirs....
you dressed????
yea i say......
i kiss him.....long........slow...........deep
.......what are you doing he asks????
Smiling......I pop a mint in my mouth....
i slide his boxers off
pull out the mint
circle the tip with my minty breath
then..............his whole shaft
i hear his sharp intake of breath
i grin to myself
every last dredge of sleep is well and truly gone now
i make him squirm whilst not letting him grope me
then i raise my head....strip and tell him
i want you.....
he turns me over and goes down on me
..........i'm bucking and moaning
ok peeps i'll spill
my soundtrack is Oh my God!!!!
when i can no longer take it
i pull him up and say
fuck me..........''
and he does.........
made it to work 10 mins late
and i swear even a reduction in salary
could not have taken the smirk off my face
i had it on ALL FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Miss you D...............
My cousin was on her way home from a tryst
on a bike-she loves the speed.......
I will never get on a bike before 630am or after 7pm
when i drive......i drive 5 cars
so when i'm on a bike
we drive the damn thing together
........i dont see sooooo good at night
so i wont be on that silly machine when my sight is impaired
they see a flash of colour
colour was human
they rise,they swerve,they hit the curb
they land
machine on top of them........wheels still rolling
someone dashed towards them
help help help he says
finally an immigration guy and a taxi stop
okada guy goes in the boot
he got the worst end of the stick
some guy pays for 3 cards at the hospital
then they start to call last numbers on their fones
my cousin?
they got
her boo
her pastor and her two friends
it was 9pmish.....
Flash of colour has a nasty head gash and she's not coherent
nurses are suspecting....some bolts in her head are loose
bike man may have internal bleeding
bad facial wounds,bruises all over and he was spitting blood
he's Adamawa bound.......
she(cousin of mine) has a badly sprained hip muscle
so she has to use crutches for 2 weeks
to keep her weight off her hip muscle so it'll heal nicely
her calf is swollen.........the silencer burn
her face is swollen
badly sprained ankle
bruises on face,arms,fingers,legs
she looks like she got hit by something
(erm....she was)
hospital she was taken to....doctor who's treating her?
my friend in uni.....small world shey????
she's home tomorrow
from the hospital
its gonna be a couple of weeks before
she can ride her favourite machine
heheheheheheheheh
this is the second cousin who has had a mishap with this yeye machine
OKADA
dude in question woke up whilst under the knife to fix his broken finger
they had to give him more anaesthesia
silly ass had an out of body experience
was watching his mama and sister trying to wake him up
when he told me
i was like silly fool
so you were gonna die without leaving anything for us to inherit???
we laughed
but i sure wasnt ready to bury the asswipe.......
he did confess he told the bike man to break all speed limits
he had an appointment............
the one he kept.......was at the hospital
he's lucky he can move his finger
its slightly crooked though
a reminder of what could have been...........
he hardly gets on bikes anymore
so make una help me tell G
may her love for the machine diminish
well,i'll see what 2 weeks on crutches will teach her.......
and as for her boo?????
i think he's silly
cos knowing her
she's a stubborn fool
she would have opted for a bike instead of a cab
he really should have dropped her off home
and not done the see me off thingy they do
he comes to ours
she sees him off halfway to his
gets on a bike...back home........
our mothers dont know yet
and we are not telling......
her mum..........recently widowed
my mum.........will have to visit the docctor
well...when we fall ill...she does too
odd,crazy,silly,corny but true.........
hopefully i'm back from my hiatus...........
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Car,Deola&Tayo,The One,Muse,
Got my car in Oct
went back and forth over the mechanical problems it developed
then i got frustrated and asked that it be sold
my agent-uncle picked it up and unearthed a damn good mechanic
car came back to me rolling great
parked it for a month cos i wasnt ready to do the fuel hassle thingy
recently a colleague asked if i was still owing the guy that brought my car in
anyways i also discovered i was spending more on public transport than i would spend on fuelling my car
i was also secretly afraid of braving the roads
but i found out i was lusting after other pretty babes in their rides
so this weekend
i got my adorable cuz to do the fuel hunt for me
poor boy spent 6 hrs at the station
car wash dude said he had no idea my car was that good looking
well that was 4 weeks of grime.......wink
also needed my brake pads changed
everything else rolls fyne
so i did surulere to my hood with my L sign proudly displayed
(whisper....my second learners permit expired in Jan)
i do have a license though
dont ask me how
this is naija aiint it
my other learner's permit expired in 2004
lol
i'm gonna do mama Ibi style
she went for 11 out of 20 lessons
proudly displayed the L sign and hit the roads
so after 2 lessons 6yrs apart and 2 expired permits
i need to earn the right to use my license
so,if u see a cutie with an L sign in a car
dat makes you do a double take
thats me from today.....wink
D......i love your poem
mwah
His late nights are driving me nuttttttttttttttttsssssssssssssss
yes o my brother........
he just waltzed in-its 1am
there's work today
he will wake up at 5 and start to moan about needing more sleep
I could kill for a raise.........
Ubong asked for an update on Deola and Tayo
Tayo just came back from his trip
dem never see
Deola insists she will break it off
but i did let her read all them comments
and she thinks it'll be nice to give Tayo a good bye fuck
Cos me thinks and i told her
if he hasnt given you the 400k yet
its 2 things..........
he doesnt have it to give OR he is not gonna give ya
or maybe he thinks she hasnt earned it yet...lol
i told her they need to talk about it
will he or wont he give?
he can always loan it to her if he cant give it to her
he insists she shouldn't bother about his wifey.....
the decison is hers to make.........
My cousin has finally found *the one*
i really think she hit the jackpot this tyme
this is the first tyme she's talked marriage
and i'm looking forward to it
she's had 2 previous fiance(s) that i didnt care for
the girl is the most ready to marry babe i know
lol
Ubong will send the update to the former post
soon as he gets his creative juices flowing
(he really isnt blogging anymore)
i'm just a fantastic muse
wink
went back and forth over the mechanical problems it developed
then i got frustrated and asked that it be sold
my agent-uncle picked it up and unearthed a damn good mechanic
car came back to me rolling great
parked it for a month cos i wasnt ready to do the fuel hassle thingy
recently a colleague asked if i was still owing the guy that brought my car in
anyways i also discovered i was spending more on public transport than i would spend on fuelling my car
i was also secretly afraid of braving the roads
but i found out i was lusting after other pretty babes in their rides
so this weekend
i got my adorable cuz to do the fuel hunt for me
poor boy spent 6 hrs at the station
car wash dude said he had no idea my car was that good looking
well that was 4 weeks of grime.......wink
also needed my brake pads changed
everything else rolls fyne
so i did surulere to my hood with my L sign proudly displayed
(whisper....my second learners permit expired in Jan)
i do have a license though
dont ask me how
this is naija aiint it
my other learner's permit expired in 2004
lol
i'm gonna do mama Ibi style
she went for 11 out of 20 lessons
proudly displayed the L sign and hit the roads
so after 2 lessons 6yrs apart and 2 expired permits
i need to earn the right to use my license
so,if u see a cutie with an L sign in a car
dat makes you do a double take
thats me from today.....wink
D......i love your poem
mwah
His late nights are driving me nuttttttttttttttttsssssssssssssss
yes o my brother........
he just waltzed in-its 1am
there's work today
he will wake up at 5 and start to moan about needing more sleep
I could kill for a raise.........
Ubong asked for an update on Deola and Tayo
Tayo just came back from his trip
dem never see
Deola insists she will break it off
but i did let her read all them comments
and she thinks it'll be nice to give Tayo a good bye fuck
Cos me thinks and i told her
if he hasnt given you the 400k yet
its 2 things..........
he doesnt have it to give OR he is not gonna give ya
or maybe he thinks she hasnt earned it yet...lol
i told her they need to talk about it
will he or wont he give?
he can always loan it to her if he cant give it to her
he insists she shouldn't bother about his wifey.....
the decison is hers to make.........
My cousin has finally found *the one*
i really think she hit the jackpot this tyme
this is the first tyme she's talked marriage
and i'm looking forward to it
she's had 2 previous fiance(s) that i didnt care for
the girl is the most ready to marry babe i know
lol
Ubong will send the update to the former post
soon as he gets his creative juices flowing
(he really isnt blogging anymore)
i'm just a fantastic muse
wink
Sunday, January 24, 2010
From Ubong,Caught,Cruella,Vib.....
It is quite windy today she said as she held my arm and snuggled into me,resting her head on my shoulders and placing her open palm on my chest.That is a nice perfume you are wearing she said, as she playfully traced circles on my chest. I placed my arm around her shoulders rubbing her upper arm in a futile attempt to warm her up.
Her finger soon found the opening in my shirt and slipped in. I gasped as she held my nipples between her fingers and started stroking it. She giggled saying your nipples are getting hard like those of a babe. I moaned out my response, those are not the only things getting hard.
Are you serious she said with a mischievous look on her face. See for yourself. She retracted her hand from inside my shirt traced down my stomach and placed her open palm on my bulge squeezing lightly and saying it must be very uncomfortable in there. Before I had any chance to respond she zipped down my trousers and plunged her hand inside and brought out my phallus which immediately rose like a peacock once freed from his confines.Better.......she said as she gripped it in her small soft palms. You dick feels very warm and nice she said as she started sliding her palm up and down its length and cupping the head...I groaned, closed my eyes and leaned back on the park bench where we were seated, overlooking the water front of our hotel. It was very late at night; everyone else had gone in for the night except us.
It had been a week since we came in for the conference. The conference had lasted for just 2 days but we decided to stay back an extra week to sightsee and do some shopping. We were due to travel back to our country the next day. We met during the conference, upon discovering that we were from the same country we bonded and flowed naturally. The time spent shopping and touring together made us bond even closer and within a short time we were discussing and revealing intimate things about ourselves to each other. Our marriages were good but the sex had become routine and boring. We both agreed that we loved our partners. She had asked me if I have ever had an extramarital affair and my response was yes, once in a while but I didn’t have any permanent person and I try very hard not to make it a habit. She said in her own case she met up once with an ex and they smooched heavily but she didn’t allow him to go all the way and that at times she wished she had.
She started pumping faster as I involuntarily raised and dropped my waist in perfect synchrony with her hand movements. I could feel the pressure mounting inside me as my balls filled up and swelled under her ministration. I warned her that I was about to erupt upon which she bent over and took me into her mouth. The warmth and wetness around my dick was too much for me.....I came instantly spurting hot cum into her mouth. She transferred her palm to my balls, squeezing gently as she milked the cum out of me, swallowing as I discharged. She eventually released my dick licking it clean, before placing her head back on my chest and saying you taste really good.
She didn’t put my dick back in my trousers but held it in her palm, squeezing as it softened and shrank. I turned to her and asked if I could return the favor?, she looked up, smiled and said…
………………………….TO BE CONTINUED ………………………………
Deola dates Tayo
Tayo is married
Tayo says he loves his wife
Deola really does not care
Ironically Deola doesnt even know why she bothers with Tayo
Deola is with Tayo cos Tayo seems to really like her
I think.......its bcos of the 400k he says he'll give her for her car
She's 400k short of getting the car she wants
truth be told-she cant walk the streets of Lagos beside him
she'd rather be slightly behind or ahead........
when they hook up
its usually always nite tyme and she keeps her head down so no one
who knows her will see her with him
Tayo doesnt wear his wedding ring
(when did that ever stop anyone anyways)
she doesnt let him kiss her down there or even on the mouth
she hates her clit being stimulated by him
she wont indulge him with raunchy fone calls or text messages
she just wants him to do the deed and go home
her own orgasms she reserves for someone else
Tayo told Deola his wife found a text from him to her
so he told wifey....Deola is a married friend of his
well wifey did the facebook surfing thingy and has confronted Tayo
Wifey described Deola in detail
the text wifey saw was about him(Tayo) needing to hear her(Deola's) voice
cos he was calling her and she was cutting him off
what if wifey had seen/read loads of raunchy texts between them?
Deola has been meaning to break it off with Tayo
His recent carelessness is all the fuel she needs
There is someone else she would rather be spending all her tyme with
He(Tayo) is currently in Spain on a business trip
Deola assures me soon as he returns, she's breaking it off
she's considering a goodbye tryst
I say thats the one wifey will trace her husband to
and catch them together at........
This is one tyme when its ok to break it off with someone on the fone
Cruella is back...........meaner and nicer
She sent a crazy mail on Monday
gives me a back breaking deadline
She's extra nice to me by wed
i deliver on wed.....wink
she says its crap after perusing for 2 mins
i insist i wont take that from her
i expect her to study for 10mins tops before
she can commend and not condemn my hard work
She asked me to come in sat
i ignored the request
its gonna be a backbreaking week starting tom
i look forward to it
I think a dead relative will re-die by thurs
i think i'm gonna need the day off
wink
My Vib is not working
aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
D insists i over worked him
i say
what is a girl to do?
was resigned to bed humping last night
it didnt stimulate me
i'm hooked on mr silva
D is a mechanical genius
he better fix mr silva or we're getting me a new toy
wink
curious about toys?
www.zeevirtualmedia.com
Her finger soon found the opening in my shirt and slipped in. I gasped as she held my nipples between her fingers and started stroking it. She giggled saying your nipples are getting hard like those of a babe. I moaned out my response, those are not the only things getting hard.
Are you serious she said with a mischievous look on her face. See for yourself. She retracted her hand from inside my shirt traced down my stomach and placed her open palm on my bulge squeezing lightly and saying it must be very uncomfortable in there. Before I had any chance to respond she zipped down my trousers and plunged her hand inside and brought out my phallus which immediately rose like a peacock once freed from his confines.Better.......she said as she gripped it in her small soft palms. You dick feels very warm and nice she said as she started sliding her palm up and down its length and cupping the head...I groaned, closed my eyes and leaned back on the park bench where we were seated, overlooking the water front of our hotel. It was very late at night; everyone else had gone in for the night except us.
It had been a week since we came in for the conference. The conference had lasted for just 2 days but we decided to stay back an extra week to sightsee and do some shopping. We were due to travel back to our country the next day. We met during the conference, upon discovering that we were from the same country we bonded and flowed naturally. The time spent shopping and touring together made us bond even closer and within a short time we were discussing and revealing intimate things about ourselves to each other. Our marriages were good but the sex had become routine and boring. We both agreed that we loved our partners. She had asked me if I have ever had an extramarital affair and my response was yes, once in a while but I didn’t have any permanent person and I try very hard not to make it a habit. She said in her own case she met up once with an ex and they smooched heavily but she didn’t allow him to go all the way and that at times she wished she had.
She started pumping faster as I involuntarily raised and dropped my waist in perfect synchrony with her hand movements. I could feel the pressure mounting inside me as my balls filled up and swelled under her ministration. I warned her that I was about to erupt upon which she bent over and took me into her mouth. The warmth and wetness around my dick was too much for me.....I came instantly spurting hot cum into her mouth. She transferred her palm to my balls, squeezing gently as she milked the cum out of me, swallowing as I discharged. She eventually released my dick licking it clean, before placing her head back on my chest and saying you taste really good.
She didn’t put my dick back in my trousers but held it in her palm, squeezing as it softened and shrank. I turned to her and asked if I could return the favor?, she looked up, smiled and said…
………………………….TO BE CONTINUED ………………………………
Deola dates Tayo
Tayo is married
Tayo says he loves his wife
Deola really does not care
Ironically Deola doesnt even know why she bothers with Tayo
Deola is with Tayo cos Tayo seems to really like her
I think.......its bcos of the 400k he says he'll give her for her car
She's 400k short of getting the car she wants
truth be told-she cant walk the streets of Lagos beside him
she'd rather be slightly behind or ahead........
when they hook up
its usually always nite tyme and she keeps her head down so no one
who knows her will see her with him
Tayo doesnt wear his wedding ring
(when did that ever stop anyone anyways)
she doesnt let him kiss her down there or even on the mouth
she hates her clit being stimulated by him
she wont indulge him with raunchy fone calls or text messages
she just wants him to do the deed and go home
her own orgasms she reserves for someone else
Tayo told Deola his wife found a text from him to her
so he told wifey....Deola is a married friend of his
well wifey did the facebook surfing thingy and has confronted Tayo
Wifey described Deola in detail
the text wifey saw was about him(Tayo) needing to hear her(Deola's) voice
cos he was calling her and she was cutting him off
what if wifey had seen/read loads of raunchy texts between them?
Deola has been meaning to break it off with Tayo
His recent carelessness is all the fuel she needs
There is someone else she would rather be spending all her tyme with
He(Tayo) is currently in Spain on a business trip
Deola assures me soon as he returns, she's breaking it off
she's considering a goodbye tryst
I say thats the one wifey will trace her husband to
and catch them together at........
This is one tyme when its ok to break it off with someone on the fone
Cruella is back...........meaner and nicer
She sent a crazy mail on Monday
gives me a back breaking deadline
She's extra nice to me by wed
i deliver on wed.....wink
she says its crap after perusing for 2 mins
i insist i wont take that from her
i expect her to study for 10mins tops before
she can commend and not condemn my hard work
She asked me to come in sat
i ignored the request
its gonna be a backbreaking week starting tom
i look forward to it
I think a dead relative will re-die by thurs
i think i'm gonna need the day off
wink
My Vib is not working
aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
D insists i over worked him
i say
what is a girl to do?
was resigned to bed humping last night
it didnt stimulate me
i'm hooked on mr silva
D is a mechanical genius
he better fix mr silva or we're getting me a new toy
wink
curious about toys?
www.zeevirtualmedia.com
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Gifts,Links,Bills,Curfew,Brazen
Someone gave me a new year gift
a dvd-he apologised that it was small
it was an apt gift cos
the one in my living room recently packed up
my brother asks is the guy your toaster?
i say no
he says oh he will soon toast you
i said no i doubt
he says......well guys dont give women gifts without a reason
i said it was a group of us at work o
he says well he may have given the others gifts as well
but your gift has a hidden reason
so people cant give or receive gifts again without people thinking *something*???
as for him(brother)
in the space of a month
i've so far stumbled on four different *links*
he says a link is not a girlfriend and neither is she a slut
she may become a girlfrend
but for the moment she's a link
he always asks me
what do you think?
i always shrug
i dont think nothing
i dont even register their faces
i only acknowledge their greeting
then immmediately ignore them
i have no intention of *knowing* any link
he can ask my opinion when he gets a girlfriend
one of them is probably off the link list
well she asked for 3k for her hair
she got 1k
and since then she's been acting funny
his words
i dont know what she expected
guy is only just a corper
how much do they pay them peeps?
and yes i object to my money being spent on his *links*
i remember in uni
while some would send/take a list of 10k home for the folks
another would send a 30k list
whilst another had a 50k list
my deduction
you ask for what you know the person can afford
if my papa na farmer
my list no go pass 5-10k
if my papa na banker
i'll try for 15-20k
if my papa na politician
why?i'll ask for 100k
wink
same with boyfriends abi?
a friend of mine used to say
how do u date a guy and not get money from him?
i've always thought-why should he pay my bills?
if he's a student like you
if he doesn't pay for your hair
wont you make it?
if he's a corper like you?
if he doesn't buy you dem shoes
will you go barefeet?
if he works like you do?
what is your own salary for?
no qualms if a lady is broke/has a need
and her man gives her some money/sorts her out
no qualms if he puts her on a salary
but i have a real issue with babes like my colleague
even if all she needs to buy/pay for is 1k
in her words
a man has to pay/buy it for her
i dont get it
note to future husband
yes you will foot every bill
sorry......my mama foots the bills in my home
i aint doing same for NO man
i wish we could get papa to pay child benefits
sadly...........we are not children......
its been another week without electricity
sigh
caught Sherlock Holmes and Avatar
with peeps from work
both movies i enjoyed
had a 5 min doze during both movies
i guess i was dog tired
as for mr link
since i gave him a spare key to the gate
my 11pm curfew no longer counts
if i ask him when he came in
he says at a reasonable tyme
if i say
not true cos i fell asleep at 230am
he goes well i must have come in about 3am then?
D says boys will be boys
i just lock my door once i'm settled for the nite
i dont want any surprises
since most women dont get orgasms from vaginal stimulation
why do friends look at me funny when I mention vibrators
especially the ones for stimulating the clit
ok i must admit
a woman has to be brazen to need a toy
apparently i'm one of the brazen ones
wink
a dvd-he apologised that it was small
it was an apt gift cos
the one in my living room recently packed up
my brother asks is the guy your toaster?
i say no
he says oh he will soon toast you
i said no i doubt
he says......well guys dont give women gifts without a reason
i said it was a group of us at work o
he says well he may have given the others gifts as well
but your gift has a hidden reason
so people cant give or receive gifts again without people thinking *something*???
as for him(brother)
in the space of a month
i've so far stumbled on four different *links*
he says a link is not a girlfriend and neither is she a slut
she may become a girlfrend
but for the moment she's a link
he always asks me
what do you think?
i always shrug
i dont think nothing
i dont even register their faces
i only acknowledge their greeting
then immmediately ignore them
i have no intention of *knowing* any link
he can ask my opinion when he gets a girlfriend
one of them is probably off the link list
well she asked for 3k for her hair
she got 1k
and since then she's been acting funny
his words
i dont know what she expected
guy is only just a corper
how much do they pay them peeps?
and yes i object to my money being spent on his *links*
i remember in uni
while some would send/take a list of 10k home for the folks
another would send a 30k list
whilst another had a 50k list
my deduction
you ask for what you know the person can afford
if my papa na farmer
my list no go pass 5-10k
if my papa na banker
i'll try for 15-20k
if my papa na politician
why?i'll ask for 100k
wink
same with boyfriends abi?
a friend of mine used to say
how do u date a guy and not get money from him?
i've always thought-why should he pay my bills?
if he's a student like you
if he doesn't pay for your hair
wont you make it?
if he's a corper like you?
if he doesn't buy you dem shoes
will you go barefeet?
if he works like you do?
what is your own salary for?
no qualms if a lady is broke/has a need
and her man gives her some money/sorts her out
no qualms if he puts her on a salary
but i have a real issue with babes like my colleague
even if all she needs to buy/pay for is 1k
in her words
a man has to pay/buy it for her
i dont get it
note to future husband
yes you will foot every bill
sorry......my mama foots the bills in my home
i aint doing same for NO man
i wish we could get papa to pay child benefits
sadly...........we are not children......
its been another week without electricity
sigh
caught Sherlock Holmes and Avatar
with peeps from work
both movies i enjoyed
had a 5 min doze during both movies
i guess i was dog tired
as for mr link
since i gave him a spare key to the gate
my 11pm curfew no longer counts
if i ask him when he came in
he says at a reasonable tyme
if i say
not true cos i fell asleep at 230am
he goes well i must have come in about 3am then?
D says boys will be boys
i just lock my door once i'm settled for the nite
i dont want any surprises
since most women dont get orgasms from vaginal stimulation
why do friends look at me funny when I mention vibrators
especially the ones for stimulating the clit
ok i must admit
a woman has to be brazen to need a toy
apparently i'm one of the brazen ones
wink
Monday, January 11, 2010
Stallion,Cruella,Marry Me,Pregnant,Horny
She could smell the sex
even as Gabe and his handlers brought the stallion in
the air in the shed thickened with it
sharp,edgy,elemental
the mare called out,in protest or welcome
and the stallion answered with a sound that caused
something to thigten in Kelly's stomach
In a powerful lunge,the stallion reared up and mounted the mare
wide-eyed she(kelly) watched
the stallion plunged wildly-his need.....frantic and somehow human
he covered her-demanding.................commanding
she(mare)accepted-her rolling in what Kelly thought must surely be pleasure
without realizing it-she(kelly) moved closer
fascinated by the passionate frenzy of mating
her own heart pounding
her blood hot-the quick pang of arousal staggered her
then she found herself looking at Gabe
shocked to see her own primitive and unexpected reaction mirrored in his eyes
staggering to have the vision flash through her mind of being taken as the mare was being taken
fiercely...............
violently..............
heedlessly.............
wink
You people should warn Cruella for me o
when i wanted to go on leave
she said i could not have 3 weeks off cos me
being away from my desk for 3 weeks
means the office can do without me
and to show my job is important to me
i can only do two weeks at a stretch
now i'm being owed a precious month
2010's days none inclusive
but..........she just took a month long holiday
not due back till the 25th
i have enjoyed not having her breathing down my neck
but if she thinks she can take 4 weeks
then bring back some measley chocolates
hoping i will forget she damn well took four weeks at a stretch
not counting all the numerous relatives she buried in 2009
she no well
those days i am owed
i shall take by hook or by crook
every dead member of my family will die again
so she may just be getting some randoms sms's
sorry cant make it in
uncle died last night
off to ife to bury
off to ilesha to bury
off to maiduguri to bury........
in 2009 alone.............she must have buried 9 relatives..............
i think its tyme the dead in my family died again
cos the silly ass wont approve my leave......
if i feel like a few days off
.......na to rebury my dead...........Q.E.D
wink
last tyme he had me was in 2003
i was off to nysc camp
it lasted a while
then fizzled out
abegi
i no dey for lagos-ibadan expressway every fri
dick dey lagos
Q.E.D
he visited me today
he wants to marry me
i smiled
then said..........whatever i did to you in '03
i must have left a lasting impression
but you see
he dropped the marriage card
and asked dat whomever
i am currently dating needs to go
i'm sorry T
cant do that
I'm crazy about D
and just cos you dangled the marriage card dont mean i will jump
its mean to do that when a man is talking to an overipe for marriage babe like me
sigh
like my pal said
theres more to marriage than good-great sex
moreover he still works in that yeye ibadan
me?
lagos-ibadan expressway?
na burials dey make me travel that road o
cos if na wedding
dem go still born
do naming etc
i'll make up for missing dia wedding
but na once person dey die
i no dey for that kain journey
i still maintain it
dick dey lagos
dem plenty sef............
and as my paddy said
if he wants me as a second wife
he better be ready for me to get a
second husband a few years down the line
cos
me?numero two?
nah......................
did i mention
he also said
i can choose to live in cally?
i wont have his babies in naija-yes oooooooo
the twins God promised him.......that his wife has not given him
dem apparently dey my body
yeye
i say i've never been pregnant
everyone i've ever told wonders if i'm normal
i've never lived with a man
so its pretty easy to stay away from spermatozoa when i'm ovulating
and in any case
when most men hear-i'm not safe
they wear two condoms....wink
and there's always the pill(s).....
so seriously
why is it soooooooooooo hard to digest????
i've never being
to the best of my knowledge
there nothing wrong with my fertility
moreover i aiint trying to make a baby......yet
so why should i bother about being (in)fertile
when i'm emotionally and financially ready to make a new life
i will
and i know i will do it with or without a man beside me
afterall
Oluwa ni fun ni lomo............God gives children
And as for this always wanna shag mode that i've been in lately
i just dey wonder.................
wink
even as Gabe and his handlers brought the stallion in
the air in the shed thickened with it
sharp,edgy,elemental
the mare called out,in protest or welcome
and the stallion answered with a sound that caused
something to thigten in Kelly's stomach
In a powerful lunge,the stallion reared up and mounted the mare
wide-eyed she(kelly) watched
the stallion plunged wildly-his need.....frantic and somehow human
he covered her-demanding.................commanding
she(mare)accepted-her rolling in what Kelly thought must surely be pleasure
without realizing it-she(kelly) moved closer
fascinated by the passionate frenzy of mating
her own heart pounding
her blood hot-the quick pang of arousal staggered her
then she found herself looking at Gabe
shocked to see her own primitive and unexpected reaction mirrored in his eyes
staggering to have the vision flash through her mind of being taken as the mare was being taken
fiercely...............
violently..............
heedlessly.............
wink
You people should warn Cruella for me o
when i wanted to go on leave
she said i could not have 3 weeks off cos me
being away from my desk for 3 weeks
means the office can do without me
and to show my job is important to me
i can only do two weeks at a stretch
now i'm being owed a precious month
2010's days none inclusive
but..........she just took a month long holiday
not due back till the 25th
i have enjoyed not having her breathing down my neck
but if she thinks she can take 4 weeks
then bring back some measley chocolates
hoping i will forget she damn well took four weeks at a stretch
not counting all the numerous relatives she buried in 2009
she no well
those days i am owed
i shall take by hook or by crook
every dead member of my family will die again
so she may just be getting some randoms sms's
sorry cant make it in
uncle died last night
off to ife to bury
off to ilesha to bury
off to maiduguri to bury........
in 2009 alone.............she must have buried 9 relatives..............
i think its tyme the dead in my family died again
cos the silly ass wont approve my leave......
if i feel like a few days off
.......na to rebury my dead...........Q.E.D
wink
last tyme he had me was in 2003
i was off to nysc camp
it lasted a while
then fizzled out
abegi
i no dey for lagos-ibadan expressway every fri
dick dey lagos
Q.E.D
he visited me today
he wants to marry me
i smiled
then said..........whatever i did to you in '03
i must have left a lasting impression
but you see
he dropped the marriage card
and asked dat whomever
i am currently dating needs to go
i'm sorry T
cant do that
I'm crazy about D
and just cos you dangled the marriage card dont mean i will jump
its mean to do that when a man is talking to an overipe for marriage babe like me
sigh
like my pal said
theres more to marriage than good-great sex
moreover he still works in that yeye ibadan
me?
lagos-ibadan expressway?
na burials dey make me travel that road o
cos if na wedding
dem go still born
do naming etc
i'll make up for missing dia wedding
but na once person dey die
i no dey for that kain journey
i still maintain it
dick dey lagos
dem plenty sef............
and as my paddy said
if he wants me as a second wife
he better be ready for me to get a
second husband a few years down the line
cos
me?numero two?
nah......................
did i mention
he also said
i can choose to live in cally?
i wont have his babies in naija-yes oooooooo
the twins God promised him.......that his wife has not given him
dem apparently dey my body
yeye
i say i've never been pregnant
everyone i've ever told wonders if i'm normal
i've never lived with a man
so its pretty easy to stay away from spermatozoa when i'm ovulating
and in any case
when most men hear-i'm not safe
they wear two condoms....wink
and there's always the pill(s).....
so seriously
why is it soooooooooooo hard to digest????
i've never being
to the best of my knowledge
there nothing wrong with my fertility
moreover i aiint trying to make a baby......yet
so why should i bother about being (in)fertile
when i'm emotionally and financially ready to make a new life
i will
and i know i will do it with or without a man beside me
afterall
Oluwa ni fun ni lomo............God gives children
And as for this always wanna shag mode that i've been in lately
i just dey wonder.................
wink
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Its 2010
I have a good feeling about 2010
its sexy to even say it............
20-10
its cumbersome to say two thousand and ten
2009 was a good year
albeit incidental
people died
people lost jobs
the recession hit us in naija
last few days of the year
my mama has gone from a pneumonia scare
to
something fishy in her blood
to the all clear
to her blood pressure issues
my diagnosis
she should come back to lasgidi
my mama is ill cos she has money issues
and she is depressed cos she goes home to noone.......everyday
i want her close
........she does get under my skin
but i love her to bits
my pa......enjoying himself with his new (rumoured pregnant) lady
my brothers are fyne
S is driving me crazy
but i'll survive
the other S
(both brothers have S names)
he's great
I.............i'm fyne
i have no resolutions
i didnt reach some of the goals i set for myself in 2009
but i have a good feeling about 2010
its gonna be a marvelous year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its sexy to even say it............
20-10
its cumbersome to say two thousand and ten
2009 was a good year
albeit incidental
people died
people lost jobs
the recession hit us in naija
last few days of the year
my mama has gone from a pneumonia scare
to
something fishy in her blood
to the all clear
to her blood pressure issues
my diagnosis
she should come back to lasgidi
my mama is ill cos she has money issues
and she is depressed cos she goes home to noone.......everyday
i want her close
........she does get under my skin
but i love her to bits
my pa......enjoying himself with his new (rumoured pregnant) lady
my brothers are fyne
S is driving me crazy
but i'll survive
the other S
(both brothers have S names)
he's great
I.............i'm fyne
i have no resolutions
i didnt reach some of the goals i set for myself in 2009
but i have a good feeling about 2010
its gonna be a marvelous year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
H factor...ring...lingerie...lullaby
My people please help me pronounce
The eye's clinic
doesnt it seem like you have the H factor?????
lol
if a man wears a wedding ring.............
his dick must work.......(probably overtime)...wink
hey guys
should we(ladies) only ever wear lingerie????
or you dont mind us doing the granny briefs?
truth be told
sexy is great
but good old comfort a la granny briefs is blissful...wink
my first asked me a few months after we started dating
permit me to rephrase that
2 months after we started to fuck........wink
why i didnt own lingerie
i just ignored him.....lol
stupid ass has no idea how much dey go for
when his friends start to drop hints that he is seeing some other girl
or they tell you to look elsewhere for love
or you can hardly ever lay your hands on him anymore
cos he *is busy*
chances are
............you need to start looking for a new guy
i always find it easy to fall asleep
but.......some nights i just stay awake
considering counting sheep wont ever work for me
something does............
my very own lullaby
my brain is able to stop,pause,play,forward
a sexcapade that happened
or create a new one............wink
also there's always self help
an orgasm ensures sleep.......
The eye's clinic
doesnt it seem like you have the H factor?????
lol
if a man wears a wedding ring.............
his dick must work.......(probably overtime)...wink
hey guys
should we(ladies) only ever wear lingerie????
or you dont mind us doing the granny briefs?
truth be told
sexy is great
but good old comfort a la granny briefs is blissful...wink
my first asked me a few months after we started dating
permit me to rephrase that
2 months after we started to fuck........wink
why i didnt own lingerie
i just ignored him.....lol
stupid ass has no idea how much dey go for
when his friends start to drop hints that he is seeing some other girl
or they tell you to look elsewhere for love
or you can hardly ever lay your hands on him anymore
cos he *is busy*
chances are
............you need to start looking for a new guy
i always find it easy to fall asleep
but.......some nights i just stay awake
considering counting sheep wont ever work for me
something does............
my very own lullaby
my brain is able to stop,pause,play,forward
a sexcapade that happened
or create a new one............wink
also there's always self help
an orgasm ensures sleep.......
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Celibate....Kiss & Tell.....Sheaths
Are you dating?
You are definitely shagging................
Scream yourself hoarse if you will
Who will believe you if you say you aiint shagging?
Its hard to be celibate
when there is always time,opportunity,place...........
Dont roll your eyes at me...for virgins its easy(dem never chop before)
But if you have ever chopped before
And time,opportunity and place continually rears its delicious combo
una go do
and remember....you only have to cross the barrier once....wink
Once debe.......ever debe..........
Should people kiss and tell?
Back in Uni
This guy apparently spent the nite with a babe
he must have been mighty pleased with himself
cos he decided to share the story
so we had roughly 7 guys hanging together and this guy is talking in detail
about how it went last nite
a pal of the babe gets a whiff of the story and goes to the babe
the babe struts to the guys and goes
i fucked you
you fucked me
i rode you
you rode me
so
i used you just as much as you used me
what the hell is the noise for?
and walks away...........
guy is left looking stupid
his pals make fun of him.......
how many babes can do that?
truth be told i have no qualms
about past,present or future sexual liaisions
they are all still illegal anyways................so why bother
only married sex is legal aiint it.............wink
so what happens on the day
some guy decides to spill the beans about some episode we've had??
i dont know how much i'll care
cos i'm frankly more worried about pictures or videos
but if all he is armed with, is mental images
who will he share them with?????...my father????
which brings me to the fact that
a potential FB(fuckbuddy)asked me a while ago
lets call him P
do you know BT?
i say yes
how do u know BT he asks?
so i ask him
*ask BT how he knows me*
i kinda dated BT a while back
BT has been married some two years now
he did throw the word marriage around a couple of times
but that word meant nothing to me back then
and i didnt see me married to him
i didnt see myself bound to him forever after
so P says BT is a very dear friend
in fact he's my brother from another mother
so i say to myself.......so?????
and to him........dats nice......
the two of them can share their stories
if they are so inclined............
will P have his own stories to tell????
as a rule........
i dont do friends.......wink
i have a cousin who opted for single motherhood
after having a nervous breakdown when her guy
left her for her colleague at work a few months to their wedding
one day we got crazy and decided to count our sexual partners
i tuned out after she got to 30
i know for most men
that's not a lot
but for a woman
ITS A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i very much doubt that she sees men beyond what dangles between their legs
if we slept with every man that made our labia twitch
the average woman would clock 365 in a yr
yes-a man for every day of the year
thank God for common sense...............
moreover......the STI's are keeping us in check abi?
let me tell you all.....................fact
NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE PLAY SAFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
some pple just get lucky and not get any serious STI's
cos its easy to get the occassional sti and get treatment for it
cos i dare say
for every 8 out of 10 sexual liaisions
by the third time the couple gets together
sex gets vigorous or the feelings are becoming overwhelming......
and they both discuss the hiv thingy and on realising they have both
tested negative at their last test........
he jettisons the cd halfway thru
either cos the one he was using broke
or he just wants to *feel her*
he's probably gonna start with a cd and remove it halfway thru
a couple of times
then.....eventually they both stop to bother about the sheath
they are now exclusive and they are both hiv negative
or he likes to rub his pre-cum dick against her wet pussy
(he likes the feel)
then he puts on the sheath before penetration
if he's done that(the pre-cum deal)-he should forget about the cd
pre-cum is as potent as cum
if not more potent
its a body fluid
six months later either or both of them takes their twice annual test
and hopefully,they are both still negative
THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i must commend the men who keep it on though
thru thick and thin
thru hotel rooms,bedrooms,hallways,clubs,cars and bars
thru sexy lingerie and great boobs.....
parties and beds......
toilets,bathrooms and living rooms
some guys keep it(the sheath) on
but for those who jettison it
if they are both comfortable enuff as well as willing and able to
face the consequence of going in without a sheath
ride on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are definitely shagging................
Scream yourself hoarse if you will
Who will believe you if you say you aiint shagging?
Its hard to be celibate
when there is always time,opportunity,place...........
Dont roll your eyes at me...for virgins its easy(dem never chop before)
But if you have ever chopped before
And time,opportunity and place continually rears its delicious combo
una go do
and remember....you only have to cross the barrier once....wink
Once debe.......ever debe..........
Should people kiss and tell?
Back in Uni
This guy apparently spent the nite with a babe
he must have been mighty pleased with himself
cos he decided to share the story
so we had roughly 7 guys hanging together and this guy is talking in detail
about how it went last nite
a pal of the babe gets a whiff of the story and goes to the babe
the babe struts to the guys and goes
i fucked you
you fucked me
i rode you
you rode me
so
i used you just as much as you used me
what the hell is the noise for?
and walks away...........
guy is left looking stupid
his pals make fun of him.......
how many babes can do that?
truth be told i have no qualms
about past,present or future sexual liaisions
they are all still illegal anyways................so why bother
only married sex is legal aiint it.............wink
so what happens on the day
some guy decides to spill the beans about some episode we've had??
i dont know how much i'll care
cos i'm frankly more worried about pictures or videos
but if all he is armed with, is mental images
who will he share them with?????...my father????
which brings me to the fact that
a potential FB(fuckbuddy)asked me a while ago
lets call him P
do you know BT?
i say yes
how do u know BT he asks?
so i ask him
*ask BT how he knows me*
i kinda dated BT a while back
BT has been married some two years now
he did throw the word marriage around a couple of times
but that word meant nothing to me back then
and i didnt see me married to him
i didnt see myself bound to him forever after
so P says BT is a very dear friend
in fact he's my brother from another mother
so i say to myself.......so?????
and to him........dats nice......
the two of them can share their stories
if they are so inclined............
will P have his own stories to tell????
as a rule........
i dont do friends.......wink
i have a cousin who opted for single motherhood
after having a nervous breakdown when her guy
left her for her colleague at work a few months to their wedding
one day we got crazy and decided to count our sexual partners
i tuned out after she got to 30
i know for most men
that's not a lot
but for a woman
ITS A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i very much doubt that she sees men beyond what dangles between their legs
if we slept with every man that made our labia twitch
the average woman would clock 365 in a yr
yes-a man for every day of the year
thank God for common sense...............
moreover......the STI's are keeping us in check abi?
let me tell you all.....................fact
NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE PLAY SAFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
some pple just get lucky and not get any serious STI's
cos its easy to get the occassional sti and get treatment for it
cos i dare say
for every 8 out of 10 sexual liaisions
by the third time the couple gets together
sex gets vigorous or the feelings are becoming overwhelming......
and they both discuss the hiv thingy and on realising they have both
tested negative at their last test........
he jettisons the cd halfway thru
either cos the one he was using broke
or he just wants to *feel her*
he's probably gonna start with a cd and remove it halfway thru
a couple of times
then.....eventually they both stop to bother about the sheath
they are now exclusive and they are both hiv negative
or he likes to rub his pre-cum dick against her wet pussy
(he likes the feel)
then he puts on the sheath before penetration
if he's done that(the pre-cum deal)-he should forget about the cd
pre-cum is as potent as cum
if not more potent
its a body fluid
six months later either or both of them takes their twice annual test
and hopefully,they are both still negative
THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i must commend the men who keep it on though
thru thick and thin
thru hotel rooms,bedrooms,hallways,clubs,cars and bars
thru sexy lingerie and great boobs.....
parties and beds......
toilets,bathrooms and living rooms
some guys keep it(the sheath) on
but for those who jettison it
if they are both comfortable enuff as well as willing and able to
face the consequence of going in without a sheath
ride on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Men Pay.............
he pays the children's fees
the rent
the electricity bill
ensures everyone is comfortable
pays the helps wages
gives you housekeeping and self maintenance money
what do u do
feed him and fuck him
who paid who?
he buys you that jewelry,weave,outfit,perfume you've been wanting forever
what do you do?
feed him and screw his brains out
he does your assignments and tests..........maybe even exam....ehehehehehe
strolls around campus with u(she's mine)
what do you do?
you feed him and his friends and fuck his brains out
PAYMENT???
APPRECIATION??
LOVE??
GIVING AND TAKING??
I dare say the more generous either partner is.............
the more generous the other partner will be...........*wink*
Nkenna of BBA4 cracks me up
she's sooooooooooooo crass
but i do enjoy watching her.............sometimes
her reasoning is just so warped
my brother was rude to me.....
i saw red
i then send him outta my room
he storms outta the house
he knows his curfew is 11pm
i may lock him out.......(he came back at 1145pm)
i hate hate the company he currently keeps
and i have warned his black ass........
if he gets into trouble..........
i'm gonna let him simmer in it.............
i hope he knows i mean it........
i'm not his mother..........
excerpts.......impression without expression leads to depression
na one yeye oga dey toast him employee
energy is neither lost nor destroyed
its only transfered from one party to another
hmmmmmmmmm
a girl has the hiv virus
guy falls in love
his friend asks him..................
how do u expect to drink clean water from a poisoned well?
i love big willies.........
i miss yours...........*evil grin*
i mentioned this to a friend..........
width over depth
i'd rather he fill me up
than he touch my belly button on the inside.......*wink*
the rent
the electricity bill
ensures everyone is comfortable
pays the helps wages
gives you housekeeping and self maintenance money
what do u do
feed him and fuck him
who paid who?
he buys you that jewelry,weave,outfit,perfume you've been wanting forever
what do you do?
feed him and screw his brains out
he does your assignments and tests..........maybe even exam....ehehehehehe
strolls around campus with u(she's mine)
what do you do?
you feed him and his friends and fuck his brains out
PAYMENT???
APPRECIATION??
LOVE??
GIVING AND TAKING??
I dare say the more generous either partner is.............
the more generous the other partner will be...........*wink*
Nkenna of BBA4 cracks me up
she's sooooooooooooo crass
but i do enjoy watching her.............sometimes
her reasoning is just so warped
my brother was rude to me.....
i saw red
i then send him outta my room
he storms outta the house
he knows his curfew is 11pm
i may lock him out.......(he came back at 1145pm)
i hate hate the company he currently keeps
and i have warned his black ass........
if he gets into trouble..........
i'm gonna let him simmer in it.............
i hope he knows i mean it........
i'm not his mother..........
excerpts.......impression without expression leads to depression
na one yeye oga dey toast him employee
energy is neither lost nor destroyed
its only transfered from one party to another
hmmmmmmmmm
a girl has the hiv virus
guy falls in love
his friend asks him..................
how do u expect to drink clean water from a poisoned well?
i love big willies.........
i miss yours...........*evil grin*
i mentioned this to a friend..........
width over depth
i'd rather he fill me up
than he touch my belly button on the inside.......*wink*
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Massages.............
i always seem to be the center of attention everywhere that has my in it........
my home
my school(s)
my workplace(s)
amongst my friend(s)
what does that make me????
fabulous..........*wink*
I was 21
he was 22
his elder brother was getting married
so i got invited to the bach eve
his other brother came to pick me
he was already there i was told
party was dull for me till i saw him
we left the group and went to dance
Little star woke up
he said i had to do something about it
i chuckled
we left the hall
took a stroll
went to the car
the driver was asleep on the bonnet of the car beside the car I came in
we opened the passenger door
he kissed me...long slow kisses
i went pliant.........
he hitched up my skirt and laughed.....
i was commando......*wink*
he drew down his jeans........alas no briefs either.....
it was hard,fast and glorious
then bright lights exploded.............
we got dressed
then he said lets get outta the car before you wake up little star again
or someone comes to the car
we sat up
the driver on the other bonnet beside us ...........was awake
did he watch us?
did we wake him?
i didnt give a rats ass.......
i just had great sex in my boyfriend's brother's car
at his other brother's bach eve
i was feeling mighty pleased with myself................
first he gave me as a foot massage
then i got a back massage
i then gave him a damn good blowjob and
fell asleep...........bare chest to bare chest
with his arms around me........*sigh*
that felt really good...........
i had my pants and knickers on
he was nude
but from the attention my boobs got......
*my bean* is in for a good time when he gets to work on it
i'm soooooooooooooooo looking forward to that......
its been 16 months since i've been in a room with a bed
with my favourite organ.....................*a phallus*
if i have a pack of flavoured condoms
how do i find out if they actually taste flavoured?
do i lick them before he rolls it on?
do i lick his hand after he rolls it on?
do i roll them on myself and taste them somehow?
my home
my school(s)
my workplace(s)
amongst my friend(s)
what does that make me????
fabulous..........*wink*
I was 21
he was 22
his elder brother was getting married
so i got invited to the bach eve
his other brother came to pick me
he was already there i was told
party was dull for me till i saw him
we left the group and went to dance
Little star woke up
he said i had to do something about it
i chuckled
we left the hall
took a stroll
went to the car
the driver was asleep on the bonnet of the car beside the car I came in
we opened the passenger door
he kissed me...long slow kisses
i went pliant.........
he hitched up my skirt and laughed.....
i was commando......*wink*
he drew down his jeans........alas no briefs either.....
it was hard,fast and glorious
then bright lights exploded.............
we got dressed
then he said lets get outta the car before you wake up little star again
or someone comes to the car
we sat up
the driver on the other bonnet beside us ...........was awake
did he watch us?
did we wake him?
i didnt give a rats ass.......
i just had great sex in my boyfriend's brother's car
at his other brother's bach eve
i was feeling mighty pleased with myself................
first he gave me as a foot massage
then i got a back massage
i then gave him a damn good blowjob and
fell asleep...........bare chest to bare chest
with his arms around me........*sigh*
that felt really good...........
i had my pants and knickers on
he was nude
but from the attention my boobs got......
*my bean* is in for a good time when he gets to work on it
i'm soooooooooooooooo looking forward to that......
its been 16 months since i've been in a room with a bed
with my favourite organ.....................*a phallus*
if i have a pack of flavoured condoms
how do i find out if they actually taste flavoured?
do i lick them before he rolls it on?
do i lick his hand after he rolls it on?
do i roll them on myself and taste them somehow?
Monday, November 2, 2009
Hallow wetin?
Wetin concern me with blending in with ghosts?
Wetin my own with costume?
A scary one at that????????
My people.................
From the moment i'm outta my door till i'm back within the comfort of my home
Na so so conversation with Baba
Because that Him banner no suppose comot from our head o
Eko le ni( Lagos Hard)
By God's grace-I will not meet and they will not meet me
Phone collectors
Pickpockets
Tax Collectors
Time Wasters
Unneccessary Bumper to Bumper Traffic
Car Jackers
Ritualists
Kidnappers
All the above no do me?
Why set aside a day to extra scare meself???????
i dont need me a special day to remind myself
or
to prepare myself to be scared
Can someone advice my neighbourhood kids to stop with the fireworks already?(banger)
I hate being startled.............
and the one that is unfortunate to be caught by me................
Wetin my own with costume?
A scary one at that????????
My people.................
From the moment i'm outta my door till i'm back within the comfort of my home
Na so so conversation with Baba
Because that Him banner no suppose comot from our head o
Eko le ni( Lagos Hard)
By God's grace-I will not meet and they will not meet me
Phone collectors
Pickpockets
Tax Collectors
Time Wasters
Unneccessary Bumper to Bumper Traffic
Car Jackers
Ritualists
Kidnappers
All the above no do me?
Why set aside a day to extra scare meself???????
i dont need me a special day to remind myself
or
to prepare myself to be scared
Can someone advice my neighbourhood kids to stop with the fireworks already?(banger)
I hate being startled.............
and the one that is unfortunate to be caught by me................
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Tarzan Monologues............
So i caught Tarzan Monologues earlier today.....
O.C Ukeje was definitely the star of the show for me
asides looking good enuff to eat.....*swoon*
and delivering his lines so well....
he just seemed to have all the juicy monologues.....
every actor gave a stellar performance
I must say Paul Alumona showed us his skills.....
yea other than his acting skills...that guy can move(dance)
hence he must be a good in bed....*cough*
Kunle Adeyoola was fun to watch....
Kanayo was great...he seemed to get all the poverty monologues though
....Wole why now???
Precious was hilarious when he talked about Hadijat......lol
Kenneth.....no man should be that foolish...i must say there
must have been some greed involved in your jail sentence
(i do know it was just an act-this is not to say anything about your character)
Bimbo was fabulous....powerful sexy grey you....the cane was cute......
Thanks Wole a.k.a Laspapi....i thoroughly enjoyed the play....
looking forward to two weeks of no work
yea i *FINALLY* got time off work
and two weeks just does not cut it......
i wanted three weeks for starters but Cruella Deville
wondered what the office would do without me for 3 weeks
besides none of my colleagues wanted the responsibilities of my duties
neways i got some time off
i need to gain those extra kg's i lost recently
i wish to God i had a cook.............
Dear Future Hubby....i love you
but i will have a cook on my payroll even if i wont have a maid
i *can* cook up a storm..........
but I know as much as he will find out
my better skills are not in the kitchen....*wink*
a pal of mine says
women always expect men to pay for sex
i say no
he says yes
what say yo????
O.C Ukeje was definitely the star of the show for me
asides looking good enuff to eat.....*swoon*
and delivering his lines so well....
he just seemed to have all the juicy monologues.....
every actor gave a stellar performance
I must say Paul Alumona showed us his skills.....
yea other than his acting skills...that guy can move(dance)
hence he must be a good in bed....*cough*
Kunle Adeyoola was fun to watch....
Kanayo was great...he seemed to get all the poverty monologues though
....Wole why now???
Precious was hilarious when he talked about Hadijat......lol
Kenneth.....no man should be that foolish...i must say there
must have been some greed involved in your jail sentence
(i do know it was just an act-this is not to say anything about your character)
Bimbo was fabulous....powerful sexy grey you....the cane was cute......
Thanks Wole a.k.a Laspapi....i thoroughly enjoyed the play....
looking forward to two weeks of no work
yea i *FINALLY* got time off work
and two weeks just does not cut it......
i wanted three weeks for starters but Cruella Deville
wondered what the office would do without me for 3 weeks
besides none of my colleagues wanted the responsibilities of my duties
neways i got some time off
i need to gain those extra kg's i lost recently
i wish to God i had a cook.............
Dear Future Hubby....i love you
but i will have a cook on my payroll even if i wont have a maid
i *can* cook up a storm..........
but I know as much as he will find out
my better skills are not in the kitchen....*wink*
a pal of mine says
women always expect men to pay for sex
i say no
he says yes
what say yo????
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Another Year............
I was a year older
7th October
to those that forgot........
your case(s) are hopeless
to those who remembered
thank you..........
to those who sent texts,called,put up facebook wall posts and messages
i really appreciate.......
to my mum.....thanks for being my vessel
to my brothers.....thanks for being there for me always
to my dad........you are not beyond redemption....
to friends and family.......i appreciate you all
to the man who will be my lover,confidante,best friend,brother,father and father of my children.......bump into me........soon
to my car......i waited this long to own you-you are not brand new but i promise to take good care of you,please remember i should ride you and not the other way round......be good to me....
7th October
to those that forgot........
your case(s) are hopeless
to those who remembered
thank you..........
to those who sent texts,called,put up facebook wall posts and messages
i really appreciate.......
to my mum.....thanks for being my vessel
to my brothers.....thanks for being there for me always
to my dad........you are not beyond redemption....
to friends and family.......i appreciate you all
to the man who will be my lover,confidante,best friend,brother,father and father of my children.......bump into me........soon
to my car......i waited this long to own you-you are not brand new but i promise to take good care of you,please remember i should ride you and not the other way round......be good to me....
Friday, October 2, 2009
did i jump to conclusions???
my ex called
do i still hang out at my cousin's??
yea i said
he's housesitting for his mum
so without saying it
he passed the message across...........
Ibi pop over sometime.....
i say
when hell freezes over..........
do i still hang out at my cousin's??
yea i said
he's housesitting for his mum
so without saying it
he passed the message across...........
Ibi pop over sometime.....
i say
when hell freezes over..........
Monday, August 10, 2009
Roaches........
So................last night
i was watching a movie
then i see a roach
aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i cant stand cockroaches
i'd rather be in the same room with a snake
well i have been..........
but i cant be in the same room with a rat or roach
the dreaded R's
i always have insecticide beside my bed
so i use it
that was my undoing..............
i saw another..........
then another
i jumped up
put on the light
yea...the bug uns that can fly
four of them had been irritated by the insecticide
so i get up
and deal with them
eventually i see four big uns and three small uns
very dead......yippie......
left them on the floor of my room and swept them out in the morn
now if i believed in that shit
i would say i dealt with them
u know.....erm.....the witches they sent to me in cockroach form
my room now smells of insecticide and perfume and i'm cockroach free
*wink*
why do babes go fuck fuck fuck when they are getting fucked
i tend to go ...........
i have no idea why you thought i would tell you what my soundtrack is
so a pair of ex's have been calling
the other one i blew away cos it seemed everything i said was rude
i am opinionated
i know what i am
so i knew we could not be together
moreover dude was stuck in a town i had no idea to go live in
other ex is Mel
he's being acting nice
off and on again
which was his signature in the 3 years we were off and on again
neways i'm celibate.........single.......and need a raise
sex i can get
or may get............
I'm gonna be lazying around sooooooooonnnnnnn
i wanna laze around cos
its coming........
The Holy Month!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was watching a movie
then i see a roach
aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i cant stand cockroaches
i'd rather be in the same room with a snake
well i have been..........
but i cant be in the same room with a rat or roach
the dreaded R's
i always have insecticide beside my bed
so i use it
that was my undoing..............
i saw another..........
then another
i jumped up
put on the light
yea...the bug uns that can fly
four of them had been irritated by the insecticide
so i get up
and deal with them
eventually i see four big uns and three small uns
very dead......yippie......
left them on the floor of my room and swept them out in the morn
now if i believed in that shit
i would say i dealt with them
u know.....erm.....the witches they sent to me in cockroach form
my room now smells of insecticide and perfume and i'm cockroach free
*wink*
why do babes go fuck fuck fuck when they are getting fucked
i tend to go ...........
i have no idea why you thought i would tell you what my soundtrack is
so a pair of ex's have been calling
the other one i blew away cos it seemed everything i said was rude
i am opinionated
i know what i am
so i knew we could not be together
moreover dude was stuck in a town i had no idea to go live in
other ex is Mel
he's being acting nice
off and on again
which was his signature in the 3 years we were off and on again
neways i'm celibate.........single.......and need a raise
sex i can get
or may get............
I'm gonna be lazying around sooooooooonnnnnnn
i wanna laze around cos
its coming........
The Holy Month!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Brought work home........ended up visiting Baroque's and stole this.....
Stolen Anything: i only borrow...*wink*...
Been Drunk Before Noon: if being satiated counts....
Had Sex In A Public Place: a car,a roof,the stairs,someone's porch abi na verandah,on a well,hotels(lol)....off to find new spots
Got Caught Telling A Lie: Of course.....
Been Arrested: Almost...arresting officer saw the press card my pal had and he changed his mind...
Littered: When i was younger......
Fantasized About A Co-Worker: Everyday...*wink*
Cheated On A Test: The end justifies the means......
Cheated In A Relationship: He was sleeping with his ex........
Failed A Class: Never. A few.......
Screened Your Phone Calls: I had to....
Eaten Food Off The Floor: does beef and groundnut count?
Stuck Gum Under A Desk: Was i suppossed to put it under my shoe????
Wished You Were Someone Else: Denzel's wife
Cried During A Movie: A few tear drops.....the first movies---the burning train and yeh vada raha....
Had A One Night Stand: A few.......
Had To Pull Over On The Side Of The Road To Puke?: nope
Had Your Heart Broken?: ...it cracked......
Had A Good Feeling About Something?: Yep
Had A Near Death Experience: my life flashed before my eyes....
Swam In Freezing Water: I have no plan to.....
Jumped Off A House: i have no suicidal tendencies...............
Been Attacked?: not really
Bungee Jumped: I'd rather get fucked on an escalator(in a mall).....
White Water Rafted: is it the same as playing ludo?
Pulled An All Nighter?: what do you think????.honestly......
Surfed: I'd rather get my pussy eaten.....
Lied About Your Age: why would i????...if he can handle it-so can I
Broken A Bone?: and be unable to get some great sexing???????hell no.........
Been Drunk Before Noon: if being satiated counts....
Had Sex In A Public Place: a car,a roof,the stairs,someone's porch abi na verandah,on a well,hotels(lol)....off to find new spots
Got Caught Telling A Lie: Of course.....
Been Arrested: Almost...arresting officer saw the press card my pal had and he changed his mind...
Littered: When i was younger......
Fantasized About A Co-Worker: Everyday...*wink*
Cheated On A Test: The end justifies the means......
Cheated In A Relationship: He was sleeping with his ex........
Failed A Class: Never. A few.......
Screened Your Phone Calls: I had to....
Eaten Food Off The Floor: does beef and groundnut count?
Stuck Gum Under A Desk: Was i suppossed to put it under my shoe????
Wished You Were Someone Else: Denzel's wife
Cried During A Movie: A few tear drops.....the first movies---the burning train and yeh vada raha....
Had A One Night Stand: A few.......
Had To Pull Over On The Side Of The Road To Puke?: nope
Had Your Heart Broken?: ...it cracked......
Had A Good Feeling About Something?: Yep
Had A Near Death Experience: my life flashed before my eyes....
Swam In Freezing Water: I have no plan to.....
Jumped Off A House: i have no suicidal tendencies...............
Been Attacked?: not really
Bungee Jumped: I'd rather get fucked on an escalator(in a mall).....
White Water Rafted: is it the same as playing ludo?
Pulled An All Nighter?: what do you think????.honestly......
Surfed: I'd rather get my pussy eaten.....
Lied About Your Age: why would i????...if he can handle it-so can I
Broken A Bone?: and be unable to get some great sexing???????hell no.........
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Onesidedexamsex
So i caught Jerry Springer recently and this woman
said even though her husband has cheated on her for
8 of the ten years they have been married,she was not
letting him have sex with her cos she was scared of sti's
but until the last of the 6 children she
has for him turns eighteen-he was stuck with her
i was amused at the way she slapped him around
and the fact that she said she wasnt letting him go
sometimes we do that
either forcefully or subtly
we hang on to a relationship that is one sided............
so i went for my annual basic medical exam.......
turns out it was ante natal day
met a pal who asked if i was breeding......
nah......not yet....
Doc talked me out of doing a fertility test
he said i can always find out when i start trying
and maybe have difficulty conceiving
he also scolded me for not having done a breast
exam since the one i had
abegi make my booby rest-who knows.........
maybe just maybe.....*wink*
got talking sex with my aunt and it was funny
recollecting how difficult it was for my first to deflower me
he never succeeded.......he caused me no pain
and eventually left my hymen intact
the man who did ....caused me bittersweet pain......*wink*
when i get a boyfriend and or a husband
he will not be allowed to read this blog
.......if he ever finds it
it wasnt me
cos i dont care how in love he is
i'm quite sure he would take no pleasure
in my sexcapades.......most of them have
being recounted in detail on my blog
for all of una whey dey miss the sexcapades series
my pussy no see action so how i go write story??????
i've been called a lioness,magnificent,wonderful,sensual,sexy,
i've been told i bring out the animal in him
i've been told no one has ever made him do this....
.........go on and on and on in one night....
i've been told you have a pert butt,never say you are a
member of nassatall.....(it looks perter now).......*wink*
i've been told i have lovely skin......
i've been told i have mad skills.....
i've been told i do great things with my waist,legs,mouth,hands.....
i've been asked not to look-my eyes were doing things to him he said
i once gave a guy a hard on from spooning rice,plantain and beef into my mouth.....
i've been told i'm flexible
i've been told i've got lovely boobs....
i've been told sex/lovemaking was earth shattering,mind blowing,special,different,fab,great
i've been told...Ibi you are lazy...
i've also been asked...do you want to kill me
i've been told Ibi let me feel u(lets jettison a condom)
someone once asked me to marry him after i fucked his brains out
he only brought out the beast in me-if i dare say so miself
but marraige&^%$£%&*.........hell no
all of these and more in relation to sex......
told mi aunt i dont miss sex
well i dont....
but after writing this......i do..........
said even though her husband has cheated on her for
8 of the ten years they have been married,she was not
letting him have sex with her cos she was scared of sti's
but until the last of the 6 children she
has for him turns eighteen-he was stuck with her
i was amused at the way she slapped him around
and the fact that she said she wasnt letting him go
sometimes we do that
either forcefully or subtly
we hang on to a relationship that is one sided............
so i went for my annual basic medical exam.......
turns out it was ante natal day
met a pal who asked if i was breeding......
nah......not yet....
Doc talked me out of doing a fertility test
he said i can always find out when i start trying
and maybe have difficulty conceiving
he also scolded me for not having done a breast
exam since the one i had
abegi make my booby rest-who knows.........
maybe just maybe.....*wink*
got talking sex with my aunt and it was funny
recollecting how difficult it was for my first to deflower me
he never succeeded.......he caused me no pain
and eventually left my hymen intact
the man who did ....caused me bittersweet pain......*wink*
when i get a boyfriend and or a husband
he will not be allowed to read this blog
.......if he ever finds it
it wasnt me
cos i dont care how in love he is
i'm quite sure he would take no pleasure
in my sexcapades.......most of them have
being recounted in detail on my blog
for all of una whey dey miss the sexcapades series
my pussy no see action so how i go write story??????
i've been called a lioness,magnificent,wonderful,sensual,sexy,
i've been told i bring out the animal in him
i've been told no one has ever made him do this....
.........go on and on and on in one night....
i've been told you have a pert butt,never say you are a
member of nassatall.....(it looks perter now).......*wink*
i've been told i have lovely skin......
i've been told i have mad skills.....
i've been told i do great things with my waist,legs,mouth,hands.....
i've been asked not to look-my eyes were doing things to him he said
i once gave a guy a hard on from spooning rice,plantain and beef into my mouth.....
i've been told i'm flexible
i've been told i've got lovely boobs....
i've been told sex/lovemaking was earth shattering,mind blowing,special,different,fab,great
i've been told...Ibi you are lazy...
i've also been asked...do you want to kill me
i've been told Ibi let me feel u(lets jettison a condom)
someone once asked me to marry him after i fucked his brains out
he only brought out the beast in me-if i dare say so miself
but marraige&^%$£%&*.........hell no
all of these and more in relation to sex......
told mi aunt i dont miss sex
well i dont....
but after writing this......i do..........
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Crossroads,PHCN,Passwords and Hot water!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So a pal of mine was at a crossroad(since this post is a week late)
my internet provider cut me off due to a mistake by the silly teller at the bank or the silly office assistant who took the money to the bank-one or both of them.......aaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh
.....she settled for someone cos he was the only one in her life
but now she's met the kinda guy she would
rather spend the rest of her days with
i know her well enuff to know
she just has more fun in new guy's company cos he's classy
a real gentleman.........
i'm just waiting to see who ends up for the long haul
i did not have long to wait especially after i told her
its aiight to have fun but you need to decide what you'd rather have
fun or friendship..........
frankly i could care less about her love live crisis.......
here i am.......bemoaning my lack of a phallus
and there she is with two dicks at her beck and call.....
mcsheeeeeeeeewwww
frankly.......
if i snap my fingers i could get to tumble
with a guy(s)........*fluttering eyelashes*
but the one willie i'm craving is off limits
*sigh*
i reminded myself not to get worked up watching tv
t'was reality tv sef-isnt that staged????????
PHCN...........your PAPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
rain you dey do me strong thing
me cuz just got a car
she got me all broody(for a car)
her car is cute and it aiint brand new
maybe.......just maybe.....
met a woman at the saloon last week
she was foolish enuff to let her maid take her weave off
she's now bald in four spots
it just occured to me every password i own is either vulgar
or has one of my brother's name or their bday date
i once had to give my boss access to my system and
he could not get over mi having a boys name as my password
to this day......
he thinks thats my boo's name
lucky for me
it was not bigwillieat.....(yea its a password i use)
A Joke
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day,
picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy: "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued: "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied: "not exactly, but they aren't for me.
They're for him. He's my brother. He's four.
We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike and right now, he can't do either
And a sex tip
'A breath mint in your mouth before performing oral sex
has the dual benefit of both making it more pleasant for you
and extra stimulating for her. '
So i got dropped off at oshodi about 720pm
tried to get the red Lagbus to my destination
could not.........
so i took a regular bus
it had a flat around siemens
got scared cos it was almost 8pm by now and i had my lappy with me
so i got a cab
i ordinarily would not have taken it
thanks to mi cuz
she hates rickety cabs
but i was almost choking on my fear
i'm a scaredy cat on the streets of Lagos
after 7pm when i have valuables on me
so i got into the cab
get comfy and was praying the cab would not fall to pieces
Thank God i was praying
next thing i know
i see steam on the dash and water trickles down to my feet
at first i'm mesmerized
till i start yelping
the water is HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how does water from a radiator steam up and run down the dashboard???
so he stops
and i hop out
i cross the road blindly then i'm dancing
all the while -i'm watching the cab closely
the man starts to fiddle with his car
then a good samaritan stops to help baba
then i scream
BABA!!!!!!!!!everything i own is in your cab
if anything happens!!!!!!!!!
my left feet is smarting the whole time
and i'm dancing to relieve the pain
i was also barefoot
he calls to me to come over,that he has it under control
i ask him to get off the road
i start to scout for another cab
Baba bemoans the loss of his cab fare
thats when i remember my lappy!!!!!!!!!!!
i scream
run to the cab and pull up the bag
the bag is wet!!!!!!!!!!!
i start to wail
no tears but i was wailing
Baba goes why are you crying??? the bag is not wet
i'm screaming its wet its wet oh my God!!!!!
my lappy!!!!!!!!
my left foot still smarts
i get another cab head home
strip my lappy
yippie....its aiight maybe if i had left it a little longer.......
then i send a text to my aunt the nurse(the only medical personnel i know who can consult over the phone)my cuz and my pal
who in turns suggested a burn cream,vaseline and an egg
the burn cream i could not get from the pharmacy-e don finish
vaseline gives you blisters after a burn
the egg i ended up breaking it
so i resorted to pap
and it worked
its been a week
the spot the water hit is dark and itches like crazy
which means its healing(cos it itches)
i'm just glad i did not get a blister
here's a picture of me with my first aid.....lol
my internet provider cut me off due to a mistake by the silly teller at the bank or the silly office assistant who took the money to the bank-one or both of them.......aaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh
.....she settled for someone cos he was the only one in her life
but now she's met the kinda guy she would
rather spend the rest of her days with
i know her well enuff to know
she just has more fun in new guy's company cos he's classy
a real gentleman.........
i'm just waiting to see who ends up for the long haul
i did not have long to wait especially after i told her
its aiight to have fun but you need to decide what you'd rather have
fun or friendship..........
frankly i could care less about her love live crisis.......
here i am.......bemoaning my lack of a phallus
and there she is with two dicks at her beck and call.....
mcsheeeeeeeeewwww
frankly.......
if i snap my fingers i could get to tumble
with a guy(s)........*fluttering eyelashes*
but the one willie i'm craving is off limits
*sigh*
i reminded myself not to get worked up watching tv
t'was reality tv sef-isnt that staged????????
PHCN...........your PAPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
rain you dey do me strong thing
me cuz just got a car
she got me all broody(for a car)
her car is cute and it aiint brand new
maybe.......just maybe.....
met a woman at the saloon last week
she was foolish enuff to let her maid take her weave off
she's now bald in four spots
it just occured to me every password i own is either vulgar
or has one of my brother's name or their bday date
i once had to give my boss access to my system and
he could not get over mi having a boys name as my password
to this day......
he thinks thats my boo's name
lucky for me
it was not bigwillieat.....(yea its a password i use)
A Joke
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day,
picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy: "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued: "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied: "not exactly, but they aren't for me.
They're for him. He's my brother. He's four.
We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike and right now, he can't do either
And a sex tip
'A breath mint in your mouth before performing oral sex
has the dual benefit of both making it more pleasant for you
and extra stimulating for her. '
So i got dropped off at oshodi about 720pm
tried to get the red Lagbus to my destination
could not.........
so i took a regular bus
it had a flat around siemens
got scared cos it was almost 8pm by now and i had my lappy with me
so i got a cab
i ordinarily would not have taken it
thanks to mi cuz
she hates rickety cabs
but i was almost choking on my fear
i'm a scaredy cat on the streets of Lagos
after 7pm when i have valuables on me
so i got into the cab
get comfy and was praying the cab would not fall to pieces
Thank God i was praying
next thing i know
i see steam on the dash and water trickles down to my feet
at first i'm mesmerized
till i start yelping
the water is HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how does water from a radiator steam up and run down the dashboard???
so he stops
and i hop out
i cross the road blindly then i'm dancing
all the while -i'm watching the cab closely
the man starts to fiddle with his car
then a good samaritan stops to help baba
then i scream
BABA!!!!!!!!!everything i own is in your cab
if anything happens!!!!!!!!!
my left feet is smarting the whole time
and i'm dancing to relieve the pain
i was also barefoot
he calls to me to come over,that he has it under control
i ask him to get off the road
i start to scout for another cab
Baba bemoans the loss of his cab fare
thats when i remember my lappy!!!!!!!!!!!
i scream
run to the cab and pull up the bag
the bag is wet!!!!!!!!!!!
i start to wail
no tears but i was wailing
Baba goes why are you crying??? the bag is not wet
i'm screaming its wet its wet oh my God!!!!!
my lappy!!!!!!!!
my left foot still smarts
i get another cab head home
strip my lappy
yippie....its aiight maybe if i had left it a little longer.......
then i send a text to my aunt the nurse(the only medical personnel i know who can consult over the phone)my cuz and my pal
who in turns suggested a burn cream,vaseline and an egg
the burn cream i could not get from the pharmacy-e don finish
vaseline gives you blisters after a burn
the egg i ended up breaking it
so i resorted to pap
and it worked
its been a week
the spot the water hit is dark and itches like crazy
which means its healing(cos it itches)
i'm just glad i did not get a blister
here's a picture of me with my first aid.....lol
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Ibiluv is 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So mi blogged turned two today
yippie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i treated blog writer to a manicure,a pedicure
and dinner out..........
alone yea but it felt good to treat me
i lost 5,000 naira yesterday
got sooooooooo mad i was prone to curse
the bagger that picked it
then i remembered it was my fault
if i had put the money in my purse instead of
in my pant pocket,i for no loose am.........
then i sent a prayer to Baba God
i pray my money does not end up spent on drugs,cigarettes or alcohol
it had better go to some hungry family that saw it as manna from heaven
my aunt says i look pregnant
since i've not held,rode,sucked,licked or had
a phallus in almost a year
and i doubt if we have sperm banks in naija
moreover i have not visited one....
her diagnosis is soooooooooooooo wrong.....
neways i'm all for a sexually satisfying relationshipwithout getting pregnant
children should be catered for
nutured.......
brought up in the way of the Lord
educated
fed
clothed
and one should be ready to worry till they die
moreover they cry at night
then they teeth
then they crawl
then you have to chase them around the home
then they are adorable darlings
then little horrors
then darlings
then annoying adolescents
then they make your heart soar with pride
until they become your meal ticket.....(maybe not)
but then they start to take care of you
when you loose the ability to do so yourself
why would any human not think it thru
before getting pregnant
sex lasts all of 13 mins for most men(i'm not counting foreplay)
children last a lifetime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my mama calls me sometimes to ask if i've eaten
when i scream she goes
you'll always be my child
i dont care how old you get........
awwwwwwwwwwwwww
love you mama............
So mi cousin says
only a man knows why he wants to be with a female
maybe all he likes is the swell of her cleavage
maybe he just likes how her ass looks in a skirt
maybe he likes the way she talks
maybe he likes the way she sings
maybe she can cook up a storm
maybe she fucks his brains out
when he makes the decision to marry
if and when he decides to.......
only he will know why he choose to spend
the rest of his life with the woman he chooses
dont be surprised if he cant explain it
why did he give me this lecture?
he has a girl
she's hawt..............she models part time(she's in uni)
but he's been chasing after a little girl
that lives in the flat below where i live with her family
i dont care if all he wants to do is tap that ass
cos he asked if i was not curious about his attentions to her
and if i was gonna tell the babe anything
and i said all i could and will tell her if she thinks
she can cosy up to me bcos of him is
*he just wants to tap that ass*
so she better continue to be a silent neighbour
and if she's allowing her ass to be tapped
at least she's getting sum.............
my friend's ex used to say je ka lo dobo
used to get her hackles up
cos it means lets go fuck
i read a novel recently and dude says
come upstairs and lie with me
i thought *sweet*
but that just gives her time to say no
men should never ask dem yeye questions
can i kiss you?
can i fuck u?
if u wanna.....just turn her to putty
if she lets you
chances are..............you can tap it
whats all that question and answer for??????????
i know i talk,write,read,watch sex a lot......
its the next best thing to having it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yippie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i treated blog writer to a manicure,a pedicure
and dinner out..........
alone yea but it felt good to treat me
i lost 5,000 naira yesterday
got sooooooooo mad i was prone to curse
the bagger that picked it
then i remembered it was my fault
if i had put the money in my purse instead of
in my pant pocket,i for no loose am.........
then i sent a prayer to Baba God
i pray my money does not end up spent on drugs,cigarettes or alcohol
it had better go to some hungry family that saw it as manna from heaven
my aunt says i look pregnant
since i've not held,rode,sucked,licked or had
a phallus in almost a year
and i doubt if we have sperm banks in naija
moreover i have not visited one....
her diagnosis is soooooooooooooo wrong.....
neways i'm all for a sexually satisfying relationshipwithout getting pregnant
children should be catered for
nutured.......
brought up in the way of the Lord
educated
fed
clothed
and one should be ready to worry till they die
moreover they cry at night
then they teeth
then they crawl
then you have to chase them around the home
then they are adorable darlings
then little horrors
then darlings
then annoying adolescents
then they make your heart soar with pride
until they become your meal ticket.....(maybe not)
but then they start to take care of you
when you loose the ability to do so yourself
why would any human not think it thru
before getting pregnant
sex lasts all of 13 mins for most men(i'm not counting foreplay)
children last a lifetime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my mama calls me sometimes to ask if i've eaten
when i scream she goes
you'll always be my child
i dont care how old you get........
awwwwwwwwwwwwww
love you mama............
So mi cousin says
only a man knows why he wants to be with a female
maybe all he likes is the swell of her cleavage
maybe he just likes how her ass looks in a skirt
maybe he likes the way she talks
maybe he likes the way she sings
maybe she can cook up a storm
maybe she fucks his brains out
when he makes the decision to marry
if and when he decides to.......
only he will know why he choose to spend
the rest of his life with the woman he chooses
dont be surprised if he cant explain it
why did he give me this lecture?
he has a girl
she's hawt..............she models part time(she's in uni)
but he's been chasing after a little girl
that lives in the flat below where i live with her family
i dont care if all he wants to do is tap that ass
cos he asked if i was not curious about his attentions to her
and if i was gonna tell the babe anything
and i said all i could and will tell her if she thinks
she can cosy up to me bcos of him is
*he just wants to tap that ass*
so she better continue to be a silent neighbour
and if she's allowing her ass to be tapped
at least she's getting sum.............
my friend's ex used to say je ka lo dobo
used to get her hackles up
cos it means lets go fuck
i read a novel recently and dude says
come upstairs and lie with me
i thought *sweet*
but that just gives her time to say no
men should never ask dem yeye questions
can i kiss you?
can i fuck u?
if u wanna.....just turn her to putty
if she lets you
chances are..............you can tap it
whats all that question and answer for??????????
i know i talk,write,read,watch sex a lot......
its the next best thing to having it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
I gat sex on my mind..............
What do you think this is above???
i'm not promiscuos by any means
and i certainly wont tumble into bed with every man
i go wow over......
i'm liberated and independent enuff to choose my partners
which is why i need my head examined for ogling my cousin
he was in the country two weeks ago
last tyme i saw him he was a tot
so i hang out with my uncles and their kids
and the next day i drop by their hotel before
heading into work cos i needed to send some stuff to my mum
so my little cousin
well he's not so little anymore
comes to the door with his boxers on
and my jaw dropped..........
daayyuuuuummmmmmm
you dont get a bod like that
without spending tyme in the gym
i mentally shook my head cos i needed
to stop............
but i guess its cos
most guys my age dont have abs like that
they are all gaining love handles
dont remind me i have love handles
so i do
but i LOOOOOOKKKK good
and you dont see my love handles except you've got me naked
and i hear when a lady is naked
it dont matter what little things are.....*fluttering eyelashes*
so my cousins(another one)like to have get togethers every birthday
its her mum's birthday next month
and i'm supposed to drop.....
i can but i really dont wanna
i could invest in a killer bag or shoes for me......
but i'm gonna......cos i dont wanna be labelled stingy
cos everyone else seems to be in the mood to be generous.....
but i'm soooooo gonna be on her case in dec when it is my mum's birthday
i'll keep u posted if she drops or scrams
I can sleep with you
enjoy you
but we are not a couple
its never too late
to be who you wanna be
What else is new?????
i always have sex on my mind.....*sigh*
which is bad when u are single
dont wanna be labelled a slut......
and you have a bedsheet like mine.........yea
i sleep on the red and white......what is that???????????
*wink*
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Butt Crack....Arms Akimbo........Una travel???
Abeg when butt crack dey scratch person for road
wetin man oops woman go do?
if i waka funny
people go think say i go chop big one
if i waka normal the thing go they scratch me dey go
na so i manage o
as i climb okada sef
e still dey itch me
soon as i enter house
e no scratch me again
i tire o
i enter bus
one elderly well in her 40's
wanted to be comfortable
so she sat arms akimbo
at first i ignored it
then i pointed it out to her
moreover i be lepa sef so wetin?????
she apologised o
only to continue to sit akimbo
shuo
if she wants comfort
she should buy a car
make we bus people continue our
skin toucing games until we can afford comfort....
what do u do when u see a celebrity
as for me-it depends on my mood o
sometimes i smile,wave,acknowledge
go over for a chat and or a picture
other times i look at them without even a flicker of acknowledgement
why?
cos sometimes i'm just not in the mood to be friendly.......
saw my fave celebrity at a party over the weekend
he looked tired
i wanted to go over,give him a hug
and let him rest his head on my bosom...........
*sigh*.....his entourage no gree
effing bee of eye(FBI)...lol
last week,some yeye dogs for my neighbourhood
dey bark like say them don rabid
i was not comfortable with the noise
but hey what can a fyne gal do
some one decided to do something
he got a stick and chased them dogs away
two days later
no electricity-as usual-he was chilling outside
on his car bonnet
small time-he heard a bark
he is startled and falls off his car
does not see a dog he said
but he realises he cant get up
he is there for 30mins before someone walking by saw him
his left side was paralysed
head to foot
he is back on his feet now
left side restored
he spent a few days in hospital and in church
they say it was the dog.........
me i say
partial stroke no be beans
and to have had a full recovery
in a matter of days is a miracle.
a pal of mine was with a pal of his
i passed by and she laughed
it seemed.......with him
it seemed i was the butt of the laugh
it may not have been
i was self conscious for 10mins
then i remembered i was not carrying shit
so why would they laff at me????
but it reminded me again why the Holy book
says laughter is an agent of the devil
the prophet Mohammed (saw) only ever smiled
he never laughed
if men were to be punished for that alone
i no go smell paradise
i too dey laff
at people, with people, at myself......*wink*
the next time someone wonders about me being single
i will tell them to go read my Quran
Khadijat got married to a 25 year old hunk at age 40
yes.......she(40)...he(25)
so since i have not yet attained the ripe old age of 40
my adonis shall not pass me by
in the mean time.......before Denzel arrives
where are all the phalluses......una travel????????
wetin man oops woman go do?
if i waka funny
people go think say i go chop big one
if i waka normal the thing go they scratch me dey go
na so i manage o
as i climb okada sef
e still dey itch me
soon as i enter house
e no scratch me again
i tire o
i enter bus
one elderly well in her 40's
wanted to be comfortable
so she sat arms akimbo
at first i ignored it
then i pointed it out to her
moreover i be lepa sef so wetin?????
she apologised o
only to continue to sit akimbo
shuo
if she wants comfort
she should buy a car
make we bus people continue our
skin toucing games until we can afford comfort....
what do u do when u see a celebrity
as for me-it depends on my mood o
sometimes i smile,wave,acknowledge
go over for a chat and or a picture
other times i look at them without even a flicker of acknowledgement
why?
cos sometimes i'm just not in the mood to be friendly.......
saw my fave celebrity at a party over the weekend
he looked tired
i wanted to go over,give him a hug
and let him rest his head on my bosom...........
*sigh*.....his entourage no gree
effing bee of eye(FBI)...lol
last week,some yeye dogs for my neighbourhood
dey bark like say them don rabid
i was not comfortable with the noise
but hey what can a fyne gal do
some one decided to do something
he got a stick and chased them dogs away
two days later
no electricity-as usual-he was chilling outside
on his car bonnet
small time-he heard a bark
he is startled and falls off his car
does not see a dog he said
but he realises he cant get up
he is there for 30mins before someone walking by saw him
his left side was paralysed
head to foot
he is back on his feet now
left side restored
he spent a few days in hospital and in church
they say it was the dog.........
me i say
partial stroke no be beans
and to have had a full recovery
in a matter of days is a miracle.
a pal of mine was with a pal of his
i passed by and she laughed
it seemed.......with him
it seemed i was the butt of the laugh
it may not have been
i was self conscious for 10mins
then i remembered i was not carrying shit
so why would they laff at me????
but it reminded me again why the Holy book
says laughter is an agent of the devil
the prophet Mohammed (saw) only ever smiled
he never laughed
if men were to be punished for that alone
i no go smell paradise
i too dey laff
at people, with people, at myself......*wink*
the next time someone wonders about me being single
i will tell them to go read my Quran
Khadijat got married to a 25 year old hunk at age 40
yes.......she(40)...he(25)
so since i have not yet attained the ripe old age of 40
my adonis shall not pass me by
in the mean time.......before Denzel arrives
where are all the phalluses......una travel????????
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Butt Augmentation..........Alum
I'm too swamped at work to go online anymore
partly true but we no longer have acccess to the internet
i have no idea what *they* did
but they've done it again
so i do all my online biz at home
it also means i've been listening to E! more
Dr 90210 is a fav of mine
a brazilian butt augmentation is looking
like what i'll give myself
for my next birthday
but i'll pass
all i need to do is gain weight
cos i know it'll go south...*wink*
Do what makes you happy
sometimes what makes you happy
is a lot harder and scarier than what is safe
Raise your left leg
make it go clockwise
write 1-6 in the air...........*wink*
did u do this successfully?????
Someone should tell this idiotic mallam across the road
i need to pass by his hut to get to the busstop
545am is no time to be bathing!!!!!!!!!!!
so what if he's hiding between two parked cars??????
next time i hear him
i'll turn my torch on his phallus!!!!!!!!!
i wanna see if he's as big as the myth says he is
what myth?
the myth that Hausa men are endowed......*wink*
one yeye babe killed english
she pronounced musk as mooooooosque
only cos she needed her bobo to buy musk
does he smell?????????
i didnt get close enuff to find out........
he was still inside her
could not bear to seperate himself
h knew he should...ease away and give her time to recover
however much he'd fought not to hurt her there was bound to be some discomfort
finally a book that attests that breaking a woman's hymen
will cause discomfort
ladies
we need not bother with kaun(alum) as the myth says
Dr Matlock can give us that tight feeling men cherish
personally i take my kegels seriously
but..........
Dr Matlock says kegels dont work
note to self-stop kegelling my poor vagina
after my kids i'll just go see Dr Matlock
so mi hubby(the one who brings my pa 40 tubers of yam)
never forgets to visit the pussy he signs on
to partner his dick for life
*wink*
partly true but we no longer have acccess to the internet
i have no idea what *they* did
but they've done it again
so i do all my online biz at home
it also means i've been listening to E! more
Dr 90210 is a fav of mine
a brazilian butt augmentation is looking
like what i'll give myself
for my next birthday
but i'll pass
all i need to do is gain weight
cos i know it'll go south...*wink*
Do what makes you happy
sometimes what makes you happy
is a lot harder and scarier than what is safe
Raise your left leg
make it go clockwise
write 1-6 in the air...........*wink*
did u do this successfully?????
Someone should tell this idiotic mallam across the road
i need to pass by his hut to get to the busstop
545am is no time to be bathing!!!!!!!!!!!
so what if he's hiding between two parked cars??????
next time i hear him
i'll turn my torch on his phallus!!!!!!!!!
i wanna see if he's as big as the myth says he is
what myth?
the myth that Hausa men are endowed......*wink*
one yeye babe killed english
she pronounced musk as mooooooosque
only cos she needed her bobo to buy musk
does he smell?????????
i didnt get close enuff to find out........
he was still inside her
could not bear to seperate himself
h knew he should...ease away and give her time to recover
however much he'd fought not to hurt her there was bound to be some discomfort
finally a book that attests that breaking a woman's hymen
will cause discomfort
ladies
we need not bother with kaun(alum) as the myth says
Dr Matlock can give us that tight feeling men cherish
personally i take my kegels seriously
but..........
Dr Matlock says kegels dont work
note to self-stop kegelling my poor vagina
after my kids i'll just go see Dr Matlock
so mi hubby(the one who brings my pa 40 tubers of yam)
never forgets to visit the pussy he signs on
to partner his dick for life
*wink*
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Names.......Inquisition......K leg
So do chinese people really drop
alumimium plates to name their kids?????
sing li
chen shuo
My people use the circumstance of birth to give names
Oluwapamilerinayo(God has given me laughter)
Omolaja(A child has arrived to settle a family dispute)
What do the whites use???
you go hear Akeelah.....Terrica....
*&^%£"$%&*
Inquisition???
A guy steps up to you
Hi my name is Bode
I'd like to know you better.......
can we hang out for a drink?????
Or he steps up to you
Hi
What is your name?
What do you do?
Where do you live?
How old are you?
Which of the two scenarios do you prefer???????
the phrase i'd like to know you better irritates me
i have no idea why...........
but once a guy uses that line..........he gets minus 1000 points
So mama asked....dont guys chat you up in buses?????
how i go answer???
i fall asleep immediately after paying my fare
any bobo whey wan chat me up
will have to wake me up first..shuo!!!!!!!!!
so you wonder why do i need to be chatted up in a bus??
she wants her daughter married
by any means.....*wink*
Another preacher said...........
when kids on holiday dey go home
the ones with bad result are scared
cos their result get K-leg
Do you have K-leg before your God?????
as for me.................
my legs are slighty bow before my God
all the better to bend it like beckham with
so as to accommodate
*cough*.............
alumimium plates to name their kids?????
sing li
chen shuo
My people use the circumstance of birth to give names
Oluwapamilerinayo(God has given me laughter)
Omolaja(A child has arrived to settle a family dispute)
What do the whites use???
you go hear Akeelah.....Terrica....
*&^%£"$%&*
Inquisition???
A guy steps up to you
Hi my name is Bode
I'd like to know you better.......
can we hang out for a drink?????
Or he steps up to you
Hi
What is your name?
What do you do?
Where do you live?
How old are you?
Which of the two scenarios do you prefer???????
the phrase i'd like to know you better irritates me
i have no idea why...........
but once a guy uses that line..........he gets minus 1000 points
So mama asked....dont guys chat you up in buses?????
how i go answer???
i fall asleep immediately after paying my fare
any bobo whey wan chat me up
will have to wake me up first..shuo!!!!!!!!!
so you wonder why do i need to be chatted up in a bus??
she wants her daughter married
by any means.....*wink*
Another preacher said...........
when kids on holiday dey go home
the ones with bad result are scared
cos their result get K-leg
Do you have K-leg before your God?????
as for me.................
my legs are slighty bow before my God
all the better to bend it like beckham with
so as to accommodate
*cough*.............
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)