Sunday, December 13, 2009

Celibate....Kiss & Tell.....Sheaths

Are you dating?

You are definitely shagging................

Scream yourself hoarse if you will

Who will believe you if you say you aiint shagging?

Its hard to be celibate

when there is always time,opportunity,place...........

Dont roll your eyes at me...for virgins its easy(dem never chop before)

But if you have ever chopped before

And time,opportunity and place continually rears its delicious combo

una go do

and only have to cross the barrier once....wink

Once debe.......ever debe..........

Should people kiss and tell?

Back in Uni
This guy apparently spent the nite with a babe
he must have been mighty pleased with himself
cos he decided to share the story

so we had roughly 7 guys hanging together and this guy is talking in detail
about how it went last nite
a pal of the babe gets a whiff of the story and goes to the babe

the babe struts to the guys and goes

i fucked you
you fucked me
i rode you
you rode me
i used you just as much as you used me
what the hell is the noise for?

and walks away...........

guy is left looking stupid
his pals make fun of him.......

how many babes can do that?

truth be told i have no qualms
about past,present or future sexual liaisions
they are all still illegal why bother
only married sex is legal aiint it.............wink

so what happens on the day
some guy decides to spill the beans about some episode we've had??
i dont know how much i'll care
cos i'm frankly more worried about pictures or videos
but if all he is armed with, is mental images
who will he share them with????? father????

which brings me to the fact that
a potential FB(fuckbuddy)asked me a while ago
lets call him P
do you know BT?
i say yes

how do u know BT he asks?

so i ask him

*ask BT how he knows me*

i kinda dated BT a while back
BT has been married some two years now
he did throw the word marriage around a couple of times
but that word meant nothing to me back then
and i didnt see me married to him
i didnt see myself bound to him forever after

so P says BT is a very dear friend
in fact he's my brother from another mother

so i say to
and to him........dats nice......

the two of them can share their stories
if they are so inclined............

will P have his own stories to tell????
as a rule........
i dont do friends.......wink

i have a cousin who opted for single motherhood
after having a nervous breakdown when her guy
left her for her colleague at work a few months to their wedding
one day we got crazy and decided to count our sexual partners
i tuned out after she got to 30
i know for most men
that's not a lot
but for a woman
ITS A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i very much doubt that she sees men beyond what dangles between their legs

if we slept with every man that made our labia twitch
the average woman would clock 365 in a yr
yes-a man for every day of the year
thank God for common sense...............

moreover......the STI's are keeping us in check abi?

let me tell you all.....................fact

NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE PLAY SAFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some pple just get lucky and not get any serious STI's
cos its easy to get the occassional sti and get treatment for it

cos i dare say
for every 8 out of 10 sexual liaisions
by the third time the couple gets together
sex gets vigorous or the feelings are becoming overwhelming......

and they both discuss the hiv thingy and on realising they have both
tested negative at their last test........
he jettisons the cd halfway thru
either cos the one he was using broke
or he just wants to *feel her*

he's probably gonna start with a cd and remove it halfway thru
a couple of times
then.....eventually they both stop to bother about the sheath
they are now exclusive and they are both hiv negative

or he likes to rub his pre-cum dick against her wet pussy
(he likes the feel)
then he puts on the sheath before penetration

if he's done that(the pre-cum deal)-he should forget about the cd
pre-cum is as potent as cum
if not more potent
its a body fluid

six months later either or both of them takes their twice annual test
and hopefully,they are both still negative
THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i must commend the men who keep it on though
thru thick and thin
thru hotel rooms,bedrooms,hallways,clubs,cars and bars
thru sexy lingerie and great boobs.....
parties and beds......
toilets,bathrooms and living rooms
some guys keep it(the sheath) on

but for those who jettison it
if they are both comfortable enuff as well as willing and able to
face the consequence of going in without a sheath

ride on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Nice Anon said...

Na wa o! 30 na plenty o! Very plenty infact. LOL@ those that keep it on through thick and thin. You have got to keep it on o! A lot of folks out there are shagging without protection talking about It doesn't feel as good.

tunrayo said...

i loove loove this post but i cant comment much right now(someone over my shoulder). i'll be back with a long ass comment in the nearest future

bArOquE said...

my dear, no comments! you wan draw my leg come out atink? thank you...some times i just hate you for telling it like you were there *hisses* you too talk.LOL

PS: we need do 2 aside oh

Myne Whitman said...

Very real, what is thirty? too small abeg, was it not an 18 year old counting almost hundred the other time? And to her parents too, oyinbo therapy what else?

But they should not ride on oo without the sheath, AIDS kills especially in naija still.

Fragilelooks said...

miennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn this so true. so many pple go without,even if they stat with.
@30:::::: NO COMMENTS.

Sugarking said...

How people have sex without condoms still beats me mehn. Is nobody as petrified as I am of STDs in this world anymore???

histreasure said...

i don't get people who stil do the do without sheath in this age and time..i must say it could be difficult but AIDS CERTIFICATE is important o.

the other day i heard of a friend's hubby who'd impregnated some girl and all i could think was..'how can he have sex without condoms, what if he passed some std to the wife?'

miz-cynic said...

D real test of numbas shd b opportunity cos som no get chance of 30 diff peeps na in dm no do

mizchif said...

I've always wondered what number of sexual partners is too much for a woman.
30 you say...interesting.

As for riding sheathleass, you ain't never lied. More people than you'd imagne are having sheathless sex. All i have to say is to each his own.

CaramelD said...

Let us indeed commend the men who keep it on through thick and thin!!!! They are an example to their generation (whoever they are)!

Ps OMG....30???? Really? 30???!!!!!!

N.I.M.M.O said...

True talk about 'sheathless sex'.

After some time, it becomes a question of

'What's the point? You're negative, I'm negative. Go on jare.'

That should only happen when you're exclusive abi?

How do you spell exclusive again?

SHE said...

Wow! For the babe who spoke up to the bragging lover.

this one na long post o! containing looong gist....

Naijalines said...

Free will and free fall...perhaps.

Safe sex is like 'healthy eating'. It may not be the most exhilarating experience but it is good for all.

Tigeress said...

waow!! I dont blame her for a breakdown.

If u trust ur partner and u are both clear (negative i.e.)- then fire on. Only thing yawl dont act retarded when babe gets knocked up.

LusciousRon said...

Sheathless? No way, babies may be a blessing but they are also a lot of work if STDs aint bad enuff.

I love the girl for speaking up to the guy. Wish more girls could be that brazen and guys wuld stop the silly bragging, and I admire your cousin.

You just tell it as it is! For te guys keeping it on, wow!

ibiluv said...

@Nice Anon.....abeg 30 is way over the top o.....keeping it on is the way *it should be*

@Tunrayo.....i await your comment so day the yeye cd go just vex person -
sebi na only she i dey fuck-sebi she don test negative-
abegi jo-no more cd....which one be 2 aside?????

@Myne Whitman.....haaaa mogbe!!!!!!....100@#$%^&(&^#@
my sister we go talk.....God go make we all hear

@Fragilelooks....very true....scary but true.... you shey????na discipline.....
cos sex...kai that thing dey totori person....wink
there are drugs for every STI out dia-either to manage or cure it
some people love to live dangerously

@Miz-cynic....whether na opportunity or discipline...
30 is easily attainable...but then again...

@Mizchif.....quite interesting......i quite each his own

@CaramelD.....we raise our glasses to them.....yes my dear....pls note i stopped listening when she got to 30 so she had more......

@NIMMO.......its so easy to go in without........
exclusive-we are only shaging each other-
its a monogamous sexual relationship

@SHE.....she get liver......

@Naijalines.....word on the definition of safe sex..... was a tough time for her.....
abi o.....STIs are scarier than pregnancy.....
its just a decision-do we keep it or not....wink

@Luscious Ron.....sheathless is a choice.....everyone gets to choose....i do agree that men need to stop bragging....i doff my hat to the guys who keep it on...

Muse said...

Veteran ibiluv. Scary too. Nice combo.