Monday, January 11, 2010

Stallion,Cruella,Marry Me,Pregnant,Horny

She could smell the sex
even as Gabe and his handlers brought the stallion in
the air in the shed thickened with it
the mare called out,in protest or welcome
and the stallion answered with a sound that caused
something to thigten in Kelly's stomach

In a powerful lunge,the stallion reared up and mounted the mare
wide-eyed she(kelly) watched
the stallion plunged wildly-his need.....frantic and somehow human

he covered her-demanding.................commanding
she(mare)accepted-her rolling in what Kelly thought must surely be pleasure

without realizing it-she(kelly) moved closer
fascinated by the passionate frenzy of mating
her own heart pounding
her blood hot-the quick pang of arousal staggered her
then she found herself looking at Gabe
shocked to see her own primitive and unexpected reaction mirrored in his eyes
staggering to have the vision flash through her mind of being taken as the mare was being taken


You people should warn Cruella for me o
when i wanted to go on leave
she said i could not have 3 weeks off cos me
being away from my desk for 3 weeks
means the office can do without me
and to show my job is important to me
i can only do two weeks at a stretch

now i'm being owed a precious month
2010's days none inclusive

but..........she just took a month long holiday
not due back till the 25th
i have enjoyed not having her breathing down my neck
but if she thinks she can take 4 weeks
then bring back some measley chocolates
hoping i will forget she damn well took four weeks at a stretch

not counting all the numerous relatives she buried in 2009

she no well

those days i am owed

i shall take by hook or by crook

every dead member of my family will die again
so she may just be getting some randoms sms's

sorry cant make it in
uncle died last night
off to ife to bury
off to ilesha to bury
off to maiduguri to bury........

in 2009 alone.............she must have buried 9 relatives..............

i think its tyme the dead in my family died again
cos the silly ass wont approve my leave......
if i feel like a few days off to rebury my dead...........Q.E.D


last tyme he had me was in 2003
i was off to nysc camp
it lasted a while
then fizzled out
i no dey for lagos-ibadan expressway every fri
dick dey lagos

he visited me today
he wants to marry me
i smiled

then said..........whatever i did to you in '03
i must have left a lasting impression
but you see
he dropped the marriage card
and asked dat whomever
i am currently dating needs to go

i'm sorry T
cant do that
I'm crazy about D

and just cos you dangled the marriage card dont mean i will jump
its mean to do that when a man is talking to an overipe for marriage babe like me


like my pal said
theres more to marriage than good-great sex
moreover he still works in that yeye ibadan
lagos-ibadan expressway?

na burials dey make me travel that road o

cos if na wedding
dem go still born
do naming etc
i'll make up for missing dia wedding
but na once person dey die

i no dey for that kain journey
i still maintain it

dick dey lagos
dem plenty sef............

and as my paddy said

if he wants me as a second wife
he better be ready for me to get a
second husband a few years down the line

me?numero two?


did i mention
he also said
i can choose to live in cally?
i wont have his babies in naija-yes oooooooo
the twins God promised him.......that his wife has not given him
dem apparently dey my body


i say i've never been pregnant
everyone i've ever told wonders if i'm normal

i've never lived with a man
so its pretty easy to stay away from spermatozoa when i'm ovulating
and in any case
when most men hear-i'm not safe
they wear two condoms....wink

and there's always the pill(s).....

so seriously
why is it soooooooooooo hard to digest????

i've never being

to the best of my knowledge
there nothing wrong with my fertility

moreover i aiint trying to make a baby......yet
so why should i bother about being (in)fertile
when i'm emotionally and financially ready to make a new life
i will

and i know i will do it with or without a man beside me

Oluwa ni fun ni lomo............God gives children

And as for this always wanna shag mode that i've been in lately
i just dey wonder.................



Vera Ezimora said...


Ibiluv, I bin think say you go change for this 2010. Twins dey for your belle ehn??? LOL!

Oh, what shall we do with some of these men?

Myne Whitman said...

I was hoping to be first, LOL.

Is that man well at all, second wife dey hungray am plus twins. But still sha, some girls won't hear about that Cali, they'll jump at the offer.

About the no pregnancy even when sexually active. Is that everyone must be careless or border-line irresponsible? Na waoo for surprise.

tboz said...

hmm, nice excerpt from some meat n bone novel you've been reading?.. woman wey dey trip for horse prick shud be feared o!

your boss obviously is taking the mickey, high time you make a time table for your dead relatives to visit her sleep every week. She go repent!

What do u expect when u ready to jump enter moto every fri to deliver hot pusi to him? ee no easy na.. so he shud expect u to drop ur pants (and whoeva ur current man is) just cos he says so. D marriage card is just further proof of his view dat na only him get ur number (and ur link to future happines and procreation). You must have made quite an impression on him (as a shell shocked, well fucked smallie?)

Being 2nd wife aint all dat bad for those who are ready 4 it.. but beware bringing up kids alone in far away cali... oga shall always show up when he feels like sampling his 'property' sha.. so, no shaking

Dont see anything wrong in being highly sexed?.. I believe its a sign of good health and proper hormonal balance. So long as you ease the need accordingly (wink)

nuff said!!

tunrayo said...

...and you just made my day :)

miz-cynic said...

yes tboz....enuff said lol,

seriously though this second wife thing has been flying around a lot. me no fit share so its a big no no for me though they say our religion permits it.

SHE said...

I know that Cruella type...

After burying the already dead, you can increase the intensity of your monthly cramps, so that you can take a day off when they come.


Ubong Da said...

u are always horny eh!. Simple find one bobo, no question asked and fuck him whenever u feel like, no strings attached. Problem solved.



Madam de madam, how now?

Happy new yam oh!


Nice Anon said...

Second ko? First ni? E no serious like that at all

Freaksho said...

now, im sure seeing two horses shagging would just scare the hell out of me. AND give me a lingering oedipus complex.
who the hell uses dying relatives as a holiday excuse? i mean? is she mentally ill?
he wants to marry you and shuck you in cally!oya, you counter offer!
and as for being horny, girl, you need to go find a stick and scratch that itch. this is LAGOS!

Fluffycutething said...

LOL this chick you just have me laughing like a horse here oh....

CaramelD said...

He's already married and asking you to be part 2? Imagine!!!

rayo said...

he better be ready for me to get a
second husband...
lmao Ibi, only u fit.
tell the guy where he shld shove his dick joh, haba.
as per cruella, the dead relatives will probably work just fine!

Smaragd said...

Twinny (abi I still have title na?), suffice it to say i just O'Ded on your blog! 'hai haf milssed u'! no one says it as is more than you.

So, my catching up done! i'm out!

Fragilelooks said...

u no go kill me.
so na re-burial yu dey dis 2010?

N.I.M.M.O said...

I support your re-burial moves; anything to getthe holidays you're owed. Hope Cruella does not read your blog.

" and in any case... when most men hear - I'm not safe- they wear two condoms .... wink" LOL!!

ibiluv said...

@vera....e dey o
this is the second man offering me second wifeism for
the need to bear them twins
what shall we do????
ignore them we shall.....

@Myne.....Cali with my family miles away?
just a little careless they must be...wink

@tboz......she should be feared....
in her sleep???lets be kind
me i only jumped twice-i figured if i could-so could he
he didnt jump so i knew he was not the man for me
i didnt even realise i made any such impression
what amuses me is dat he doesnt realise
i am not longing for him
so while i'm in cali and first wife is in uk
who keeps daddy warm at nite in ibadan?
ease the need????????wink

@tunrayo.....glad to be of service

@miz-cynic......i can share but i'd rather not be numero two

@She.....yes to painful monthly cramps.........

@Ubong.....will do

@Solomonsydelle.....i dey o...happy new year oooooo

@Nice mind am......yeye

@Freak......not an excuse for her-they were really dying-
i'm the one dat needs an excuse to get my owed weeks
my counter offer is that he shall relegate to the back so i can get a second hubby
a few years down the line
scratch the itch?????lol..will do


@caramelD......yes o the monkey.... so o....up his wife's ass jare...wink
dead relatives cant get deader.....(Lord forgive me)

@Twinny....where u carry go sef?

@Fragilelooks....yels ke......wink

@NIMMO.....she doesnt read my blog....most men...wink