Sunday, June 14, 2009

Crossroads,PHCN,Passwords and Hot water!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So a pal of mine was at a crossroad(since this post is a week late)
my internet provider cut me off due to a mistake by the silly teller at the bank or the silly office assistant who took the money to the bank-one or both of them.......aaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh

.....she settled for someone cos he was the only one in her life
but now she's met the kinda guy she would
rather spend the rest of her days with

i know her well enuff to know
she just has more fun in new guy's company cos he's classy
a real gentleman.........

i'm just waiting to see who ends up for the long haul

i did not have long to wait especially after i told her
its aiight to have fun but you need to decide what you'd rather have

fun or friendship..........

frankly i could care less about her love live crisis.......
here i am.......bemoaning my lack of a phallus
and there she is with two dicks at her beck and call.....

if i snap my fingers i could get to tumble
with a guy(s)........*fluttering eyelashes*
but the one willie i'm craving is off limits

i reminded myself not to get worked up watching tv
t'was reality tv sef-isnt that staged????????

PHCN...........your PAPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rain you dey do me strong thing
me cuz just got a car
she got me all broody(for a car)
her car is cute and it aiint brand new
maybe.......just maybe.....

met a woman at the saloon last week
she was foolish enuff to let her maid take her weave off
she's now bald in four spots

it just occured to me every password i own is either vulgar
or has one of my brother's name or their bday date

i once had to give my boss access to my system and
he could not get over mi having a boys name as my password
to this day......
he thinks thats my boo's name

lucky for me
it was not bigwillieat.....(yea its a password i use)

A Joke

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day,
picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy: "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued: "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied: "not exactly, but they aren't for me.
They're for him. He's my brother. He's four.

We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike and right now, he can't do either

And a sex tip
'A breath mint in your mouth before performing oral sex
has the dual benefit of both making it more pleasant for you
and extra stimulating for her. '

So i got dropped off at oshodi about 720pm
tried to get the red Lagbus to my destination
could not.........
so i took a regular bus

it had a flat around siemens
got scared cos it was almost 8pm by now and i had my lappy with me

so i got a cab
i ordinarily would not have taken it
thanks to mi cuz
she hates rickety cabs
but i was almost choking on my fear
i'm a scaredy cat on the streets of Lagos
after 7pm when i have valuables on me

so i got into the cab
get comfy and was praying the cab would not fall to pieces

Thank God i was praying
next thing i know
i see steam on the dash and water trickles down to my feet
at first i'm mesmerized

till i start yelping
the water is HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how does water from a radiator steam up and run down the dashboard???
so he stops
and i hop out
i cross the road blindly then i'm dancing
all the while -i'm watching the cab closely

the man starts to fiddle with his car
then a good samaritan stops to help baba
then i scream
BABA!!!!!!!!!everything i own is in your cab
if anything happens!!!!!!!!!

my left feet is smarting the whole time
and i'm dancing to relieve the pain
i was also barefoot

he calls to me to come over,that he has it under control
i ask him to get off the road
i start to scout for another cab

Baba bemoans the loss of his cab fare
thats when i remember my lappy!!!!!!!!!!!

i scream
run to the cab and pull up the bag
the bag is wet!!!!!!!!!!!

i start to wail
no tears but i was wailing
Baba goes why are you crying??? the bag is not wet
i'm screaming its wet its wet oh my God!!!!!

my lappy!!!!!!!!
my left foot still smarts

i get another cab head home
strip my lappy
yippie....its aiight maybe if i had left it a little longer.......

then i send a text to my aunt the nurse(the only medical personnel i know who can consult over the phone)my cuz and my pal
who in turns suggested a burn cream,vaseline and an egg

the burn cream i could not get from the pharmacy-e don finish
vaseline gives you blisters after a burn
the egg i ended up breaking it

so i resorted to pap

and it worked

its been a week
the spot the water hit is dark and itches like crazy

which means its healing(cos it itches)
i'm just glad i did not get a blister

here's a picture of me with my first


akaBaGucci said...

Fun or friendship? Guess ettling - cos its the only option never works in the long run.. Good luck to her o!

Lappie? Looks like it survived then!

Tigeress said...

Danny- u don finish exams- cos 90% of the blogs i've seen today- u've been first.:)

let go and read........

Tigeress said...

a yaa pele. Hot water burn is not fun at all. luckily for me- mine has more or less faded.

lol@ the lady who let her maid take her weave off

Fancy-Free said...

Not sure I understand the situation your friend is properly so cant comment on that. Just wish her luck. I'm currntly running about 5 men at the same time myself so I need a bit of luck too :-)

Sorry about the burn and am glad you getting better. The woman with the bald patches was a laff. I call it retribution.

Have a good week.

RocNaija said...

Lol @ Fancy-Free..
Chic says she hasn't got one.. You say you have five..
As good as pick-me-up lines come.. :D

CaramelD said...

Ouch hot water burns are awful! Ndo! At least your laptop was alright

doll said...

pele o!

Uzo said...

Hot water burn? Ouch...I had a hot oil burn many years ago...Mega painful

~Sirius~ said...

Sorry about your burn....
Good thing your laptop didn't get soaked.

As for Phcn


chayoma said...

Hot water never burn me!
Yay meee...

Muse said...

di rain dey do you strong ting ehn? how strong? hehehehe...

TayneMent said...

oh man, sorry about the burn, hope your leg feels better.

Arewa said...

I would never let my maid take my weave off

I mean like, seriously?

And I'd pick a guy that I'm proper friends with anyday!

About the cab and burn, pele o. @ least the lappie made it out safe. Be careful, this our town no safe o. Y don't u leave the thing @ wrk on weekdays?

bArOquE said...

ow poor baby, is there anything i can personally do for you? all you need to do is snap those fingers...*wink*


Pap to the rescue!

And can I confess that I burst out laughing when I read that the lady's housegirl left her with bald patches. Oh my!

Beulah! said...

EEyah!, sorry oh....which kain yeye cab be dat?, I suggest you get a leather lappie bag that way it prevents water from getting in. My leather lappie bag saved my laptop one day it rained heavily...

badderchic said...

Eya sweerie pele lof, you all healed up now abi?

Aphrodite said...

Hmmm...babes some scary story there...i hate being out on the streets of LAG after 7.30pm.

My own scaredy pass ur own sef,lol...

SHE said...

What an experience!
Good you're healing. I suggest you wrap your laptop in polybag first, before you put it in the bag(?!)

@ fancyfree: Wow! Some great(!!!) time you must be having with five(!!!) men.LOL

rayo said...

the woman with the bald spots. lmao. pele oh, nxt tym avoid them rickety cabs...

ibiluv said...

@akaBaGucci.....lappie did survive.....

@Tigeress.....apparently he had time to surf the net.....*wink*...that part of my feet is mind the woman-she silly....

@Fancy-free...5 guys...hmmmmm....thanks...burn is

@RocNaija......i tire o.....a whole 5....*wink*

@CaramelD...thanks....foot and lappie are doing great


@Uzo.....e no funny but i'm good.....

@Sirius.....yea lappie survived.....i'm with you on them crazy PHCN buggers..... have other burns?????

@Muse.....very strong......*wink*

@TayneMent...foot is healed....thanks mind the yeye aussi..friendship means more-its also what she chose...i rarely take lappie to just happened....

@bArOquE...i'm snapping them dearie......

@Solomonsydelle.....yes o...good old pap....i laughed too o......

@Beulah! rickety cab....

@Badderchic.....i am all healed....mwah

@SHE...may be i will do so next time....*wink*....abi o-5 fa?

@rayo....i plan to avoid them.....

ManCee said...

YOU, ma'am need to stop bitching AND go get some.