Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Butt Augmentation..........Alum

I'm too swamped at work to go online anymore
partly true but we no longer have acccess to the internet
i have no idea what *they* did
but they've done it again

so i do all my online biz at home
it also means i've been listening to E! more

Dr 90210 is a fav of mine
a brazilian butt augmentation is looking
like what i'll give myself
for my next birthday

but i'll pass
all i need to do is gain weight
cos i know it'll go south...*wink*

Do what makes you happy
sometimes what makes you happy
is a lot harder and scarier than what is safe

Raise your left leg
make it go clockwise
write 1-6 in the air...........*wink*
did u do this successfully?????

Someone should tell this idiotic mallam across the road
i need to pass by his hut to get to the busstop
545am is no time to be bathing!!!!!!!!!!!
so what if he's hiding between two parked cars??????

next time i hear him
i'll turn my torch on his phallus!!!!!!!!!
i wanna see if he's as big as the myth says he is

what myth?
the myth that Hausa men are endowed......*wink*

one yeye babe killed english
she pronounced musk as mooooooosque
only cos she needed her bobo to buy musk
does he smell?????????
i didnt get close enuff to find out........

he was still inside her
could not bear to seperate himself
h knew he should...ease away and give her time to recover
however much he'd fought not to hurt her there was bound to be some discomfort

finally a book that attests that breaking a woman's hymen
will cause discomfort

we need not bother with kaun(alum) as the myth says
Dr Matlock can give us that tight feeling men cherish

personally i take my kegels seriously

Dr Matlock says kegels dont work

note to self-stop kegelling my poor vagina

after my kids i'll just go see Dr Matlock
so mi hubby(the one who brings my pa 40 tubers of yam)
never forgets to visit the pussy he signs on
to partner his dick for life



Tigeress said...

totally feeling the butt implant. So tempted to do it. lol

Tigeress said...

omd, i'm first!!

Phoenix said...

More like looking for breat augmentation and a lil laser surgery wouldnt hurt~!!!!

Nice Anon said...

I really haven't seen an hausa man naked to know.

Beulah! said...

hahaha!!..d mallam part..very funny! My coy also restrict us from d web sometimes, can be very frustratinggg!!

FFF said...

which kain brazilian butt augmentation. dem never see yoruba butt b4.

dis ur post random well well eh. abeg tell d mallam 2 cover up. but if u flash am d torch oh, ready say malam go begin dey think say u dey chyke am

ShonaVixen said...

LOL!!! Yesterday watching Real Housewives of Atlanta and grandma says to me 'Shona, once you get enough money go and get your boobs done like these women, cleavage everywhere'...IMAGINE!!!!!!!

Jayla. said...

lol@ Shona

ermmmm i hear hausa mallams are OVER endowed, mhnnnn u definitely don't want them to be your first.

oh and now they have lots of vagina reconstruction surgery, so u can do all your fuckery and your husband will still get a fresh hymen to break.

Fluffycutething said...

Ha so kaun doesn't work!!!!!!!!! what do we sorry uhm people now resort to for tightening their ish?????

Fluffycutething said...

Oh and Hausa men are not always well endowed....

Trust me i know....

Confessions of a London gal said...

As usual- crazily delivered! Lol

Until Dr Matlock grows a Va-jay-jay...I aint stopping my kegels!
Foolish man dont know sh!t and he's even black sef!

SHE said...

Are you sure we dont live in the same area?
I pass not one, but TWO !!! bathing men on the way to work about that time too....

What was that about the leg and six?

@ Fluffy: ???!!! LOL!?!?

doll said...

U want to see the man's toto???????

RocNaija said...

Kegels have always trounced 'alum'

I wonder what else Dr Matlock is an expert on though..

princesa said...

Okay, you are banned from watching Dr 90210 for the next 6 months!!!

Naughty Eyes said...

Hmm... Where do I start? Ok...
If you flash the mallam a torch, are you ready for the flash of his dagger?
Wait... is the dagger bit another myth?

Naked soul said...

u really dont want to see whats hidden btw the cars.... i think i need to go see dr matlock too

T-razor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
T-razor said...

k, u lost me at d kegels part. yeah, I admit am dat dumb.
but i loved the whole random thots thingy.
n about alum or kaun, who needs it?! just keep ur legs closed for about a year n the next time u get to it, u'll hate ur sef. d pain is almost equivalent to getting re-de-vee-d.
tried it once, hated mysef so, tru story.
but mite ve needed d alum for d whole 'bloody' effect.

(now am scaring me...)

n for d boobs, eva heard of kuruno? one funny insect like dat. u r supposed to put it on ur nipple n allow it to bite u. d effect is instantaneous (swollen nipples, of cos) but, neva tried it so can't say for sure.
dat's it for my alternative body enhancement therapies.

tanks for letting 'post' on ya blog.

Original Mgbeke said...

LOL, you are a trip. First time here, and it's funny. Abeg make you no shine torch for the mallam's toto before hin carry knife and chase you o.

TDVA said...

I hate to say the obvious but...what a nutter!

Where to start from? Abeg leave the bathing mallam alone, at least he's cleaning up. Did you hear the 'dirty' rumours too?

Abeg refrain from using kaun down there, who knows what the long term effects might be?

That clockwise thing has to do with your brain coordination, so if you start doing one first you'll be able to do the other - the brain can multitask as long as it starts with one at a time.

Nice read.

rayo said...

u wan find aboki's trouble abi.
i wish i could put on weight, wish if i did it'ld go down south...

Buttercup said...

Who knew I'd receive an education on coming here..kaun?? Okayyy..

Smaragd said...

hey! where is my long-assed comment? ooooooooooooooooooooo

not fair!

James Tubman said...

glad to see you are still going strong my love

stop by sometime

CaramelD said...

Soooooooo I raised my leg in the air and did 1-6, what is meant to happen? LOL

ibiluv said...

@Tigeress......lol....me too
you are numero uno dearie..

@Phoenix....yea that too....*wink*

@Nice anon....its a myth....but i hear its a fact not a myth....

@Beulah....i'm not frustrated o-i only get to do my work faster-blogs and mails i get to at home.....

@FFF.....lol at yoruba butt....you shoulda seen what grandma took to her grave....*sigh*.....maybe i dey chyke am sef....river dry.....

@Shonavixen....ur grandma na correct babe!!!!!!

@Jayla.....no fear there...about him being first..yes o..love them doctors....finally cosmetic surgery that even God will not frown at....*wink*....

@Fluffy...babes.....kegels work jo....forget kaun....or visit a vagina reconstruction surgeon....oh well the bubble don burst....no longer a fact or myth....*sigh*....

@Confessions of a London Gal.....i'm sticking to my kegels till i'm done child bearing then i'll go see Matlock if his fingers can still hold a scalpel.....

@She....maybe we do...silly asses...something about not being able to do both at the same time(the leg&six)....Yea Fluffy is a riot....

@Doll....yes o...its close enough why cant I view it????

@RocNaija...erm wetin ur own????do u own a vagina????as u talk say kegels are better(even though i agree)......Matlock????quite a lot i imagine.....

@Princesa.....i no gree....lol

@Naughty Eyes....dagger no be myth.....i wont have time to stare sef.....gat to get to work neways.....

@Naked Soul.....lets make it a double appointment.....*wink*

@T-Razor.....not dumb-you just dont know-google it dear....its not pain-its the first time inside feel-which i love-any guy who knows his onions knows not to rush into a building that has been closed down for renovation...i dont want alternatives....i want the real deal.....

@TDVA.....i did hear the dirt rumours...those are fact....me i dont do kaun o-i'm a kegels lady any and every day...bless u for explaining the leg and hand thingy.....

@rayo.....it will go south....gain enuff....u wanna gain???stuff ur face....

@Buttercup...stick to kegels dear...kaun for u.....no way!!!!!


@James Tubman....i sure will

@CaramelD....raise and make a clockwise thingy with your leg -can u at the same time write 1-6 in the air?????