Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Onesidedexamsex

So i caught Jerry Springer recently and this woman
said even though her husband has cheated on her for
8 of the ten years they have been married,she was not
letting him have sex with her cos she was scared of sti's
but until the last of the 6 children she
has for him turns eighteen-he was stuck with her

i was amused at the way she slapped him around
and the fact that she said she wasnt letting him go

sometimes we do that
either forcefully or subtly

we hang on to a relationship that is one sided............







so i went for my annual basic medical exam.......
turns out it was ante natal day
met a pal who asked if i was breeding......
nah......not yet....

Doc talked me out of doing a fertility test
he said i can always find out when i start trying
and maybe have difficulty conceiving

he also scolded me for not having done a breast
exam since the one i had

abegi make my booby rest-who knows.........
maybe just maybe.....*wink*






got talking sex with my aunt and it was funny
recollecting how difficult it was for my first to deflower me

he never succeeded.......he caused me no pain
and eventually left my hymen intact

the man who did ....caused me bittersweet pain......*wink*






when i get a boyfriend and or a husband

he will not be allowed to read this blog


.......if he ever finds it

it wasnt me
cos i dont care how in love he is

i'm quite sure he would take no pleasure
in my sexcapades.......most of them have
being recounted in detail on my blog

for all of una whey dey miss the sexcapades series

my pussy no see action so how i go write story??????







i've been called a lioness,magnificent,wonderful,sensual,sexy,

i've been told i bring out the animal in him

i've been told no one has ever made him do this....
.........go on and on and on in one night....

i've been told you have a pert butt,never say you are a
member of nassatall.....(it looks perter now).......*wink*

i've been told i have lovely skin......

i've been told i have mad skills.....

i've been told i do great things with my waist,legs,mouth,hands.....

i've been asked not to look-my eyes were doing things to him he said

i once gave a guy a hard on from spooning rice,plantain and beef into my mouth.....

i've been told i'm flexible

i've been told i've got lovely boobs....

i've been told sex/lovemaking was earth shattering,mind blowing,special,different,fab,great

i've been told...Ibi you are lazy...

i've also been asked...do you want to kill me

i've been told Ibi let me feel u(lets jettison a condom)

someone once asked me to marry him after i fucked his brains out
he only brought out the beast in me-if i dare say so miself
but marraige&^%$£%&*.........hell no



all of these and more in relation to sex......

told mi aunt i dont miss sex

well i dont....







but after writing this......i do..........

28 comments:

Tigeress said...

1st?

Tigeress said...

lol! U're a crazy child. ur posts are alwasy hilarious.

Fluffycutething said...

Wait... Your aunt knows you're having sex?

chayoma said...

this your aunt self, are you guys that close?
So does she fill you in on her very own sexcapades?

Funms-the rebirth said...

lmao.... haba.... how did u turn on a guy just by eating rice o.... i need to learn from u!!!

rethots said...

Interesting....

doll said...

LOL...

FFF said...

if i get an sex talk from my aunty, na DIE i go just die straight!!!!!! WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Babe, u over too much oh. na only u get all these commendations. abeg, wetin u put 4 dia. yes, down dia. U wash am. LMAO. Oya, u need to organise seminar. 2 teach d rest of us ur tricks abeg. it's important.

Temite said...

After reading this post, meself miss sex really badly.

bArOquE said...

chai Ibi, you're talking abt a hard on from feeding, where there's contact. what will you say abt one from just reading a post...(these ideas you have created in my head have to be made manifest oh)...you're a bad girl (iLike) *wink*

PS: we need to plan a secret hook up, dont tell anyone i said so. LOL...& btw, i love your aunt

cerberus said...

Your staccato style of writing..
Leaves a man's mind going on overdrive
Talk less of 3 minds..

TayneMent said...

lol, na you biko.

miz-cynic said...

s wgen they are in the throes of passion, they say anythn....tht u wan kill is the commonest.

sweetness said...

haha bittersweet
nice
:)
i must say
u n ur aunt r cool

Parakeet said...

Crazy woman...how can u not miss sex sef?

Anyhoos so pple do fertility tests? That's news to me o.

incoherent said...

ok, i'd just decided me and a dude are NEVER hooking up!....but now that i've read this (sound of dial tone in background.....)

tobenna said...

I've been looking for the exam in Onesidedexamsex but I cant find it.
Why doctors like examining women's boobs beats me. Wetin?
You can examine my girl with your palm straight, but when I see a crook/curve in your fingers, I'll beat the bejesus outta ya.

CaramelD said...

LOL @ Tobenna.

How exactly were you eating the rice and plaintain? Na wa oh!

LusciousRon said...

Are you sure? Omo mehn You try gan!

Confessions of a London gal said...

Lol @ you now missing it after your post.
But come o, Only you and all these comments??
I need to be like ya when i grow up! :o)

Lady Koko said...

Looooool!!! Ahhh ibi xoxo

NikkiSab said...

WOW!!!!! U got skills. Why dont u miss sex? I have to admit ur aunt is one cooool lady!!!

InCogNaija said...

somebody say TALENT!!

latishababy said...

ibi
you had better give up
and get married b4 u get jaded
lol

Vera Ezimora said...

I'm still stuck on the rice, plantain, and beef part.

princesa said...

He he he...i also ask o..How exactly were u eating the rice and plantain? Or was it in the way u were chewing the beef?lol!!!

I need to do a breast exam as in Mammogram...was that what u did? Then hook me up girl...

Oyana said...

hey am new to blogville.
i like ur blog though u seem to ve sex on ur mind a lot (lol) but whose complaining

ibiluv said...

@Tigeress.....you are...for you dear......for you....

@Fluffycutething....yep

@Chayoma....we are...yep she does

@Funms-the rebirth....i have NO idea....

@rethots.....as usual...*wink*

@doll.....yay

@FFF......die?why?is your Aunt a virgin?babes me sef i no know o....i dey wonder whether dem just dey misyarn......

@Temite....*wink*

@bArOquE....no one heard-so when are we doing this......

@cerebrus...mwah......

@TayneMent.....abi o....

@sweetness.....we def are cool....

@Parakeet...yea one can find out just to be sure......

@incoherent....no be me oooo

@tobenna....they examine cos of this cancer whey dey spread like catarrh....protect what is yours......

@CaramelD.....mind Tobenna not.....na normal chop i chop the thing o

@LusciousRon....*wink*

@Confessions of a London gal....it takes dedication...*wink*

@Lady Koko......mwah

@NikkiSab.....she is my G.....

@InCogNaija...*blush*

@latishababy.....jaded ke?....never.....

@Vera Ezimora...me too...*sigh*

@princesa....it was a breast exam then a sonogram at Breast examination and cervical screening at 3/5 Olaitan street, kilo junction,surulere,lagos

@Oyana......what else is there to talk about that has a universal appeal????