Sunday, June 13, 2010

Lion King,Preggies,Passwords,

Finally saw lion king at my salon
yup i know..........
where have i been?
i have no idea.....



Had another convo with my uncle
his take....pregnant women are delicious
he says if a man has a long dong
all he needs to do is stay away from his wife in her first trimester
soon as she hits the 4th month or did he say 5th month?
he can carry go....shagging as he pleases
.....his take...a pregnant woman secretes more
hence allowing for berra lubrication
and preggies enjoy the sex too
so why say cos wifey is preggers; no sex
please try it he advises
you shall not be disappointed he assures you

oh he also said some babies have come screaming
into this world with semen all over them
(now i know why his wifey had those miscarraiges)
my uncle has a long dong
my uncle has a long dong

wink



so why do people put passwords on their fones?
it irritates the shit outta me
i tried it once
doesnt work for me
having to put a password in, every tyme
i needed to make a call or send an sms
was frustrating for me
the password lasted 20mins
wink



i dont scroll thru people's stuff
its just not me

i however hate it
absolutely hate it when people go thru my stuff
fones,drawers,bag in my absence
in part cos i always place things a certain way
so, if that order is tampered with
it annoys the shit outta me

but if someone wants to read my emails,sms,go thru my pics
help yaself
anything you see that bothers you
please take it to your grave
remember ignorance is bliss
and opening pandoras box always
brings on grave consequences




sigh..........
this thrush has refused to go away
need to see my doc....i ususally dont self medicate
but how many women dont self medicate when it comes to thrush???
its like part of our daily lives.....
maybe i can sneak in a pap smear
wink

22 comments:

Myne Whitman said...

I agree with your uncle, I don't know about the semen part o, and I didn't say anything about the long dong heh! LOL...

As for the thrush, better to see the doc on the way to the lab. Self med no be am sha.

TayneMent said...

I put a password on my phone when I stayed in Nigeria for the summer and realised there was no such thing as privacy in that country. Touching stuff, getting books out my purse because it "looks interesting" and I never quite took it off. It is quite irritating having to put a password everytime but nyeh...

Ibiluv's uncle has a long dong..yeehaw! so when's the introduction *wink* lol

~Sirius~ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
~Sirius~ said...

Hmmm,
I "was" a phone checker.

Not proud of it, But I hated the fact that I'd go through the pains of asking you something out right, and you look me in the face and lie.

It's hard for the phone to lie.

But I have resigned to "what you know or don't know won't make a difference" so why give yourself heart attack?

In other words "I can't shout"

LOL @ shagging during pregnancy. I sure want that when my time comes.

Naijalines said...

Take it from me, shagging during pregnancy is bliss! Lol.

I like this post, particularly the going thru' emails - 'take whatever they see to their grave' yab.

I love your attitude to these things.
Like who's really bothered by such bull? Some people should get a life.

Omotee! said...

shagging while preggers is so funny.
ur uncle and the long tin, girl how u take know?! lol!!!

invasion of privacy, hmmm, am a bit guilty, i've improved greatly tho

doll said...

LMAO@ sirius and the phone doesnt lie...

Flourishing Florida said...

dis ur uncle sef!

i password my phone o. cos long long time ago, pples been dey steal my phone dey make illicit calls (pple = my younger ones). d habit never left me since then.

abt sex during pregnancy, it defers case by case o. make one chick no read dis, begin dey wonder if she no fit do her guy wen her own turn come. somw women find themselves painfully dry throughout d period & months after delivery. some women have no issues, but their hypersensitivity (nose) never quite goes away, so the smell of sex will actually revolt them. bottomline: it's case by case

Berean Girl said...

I use a blackberry and it has to be passworded because there is a lot of sensitive info on there, down to bank details... very essential. I've heard about shagging while pregnant, I thought it will be uncomfortable. Won't the johnson poke the babies eyes or ears or something?

miz-cynic said...

i want to believe that even if its tht long e no go shook baby.

somehow after this mail I have a pix in ma head of a screaming baby in the tummy trying to wipe semen from his face and cursing the woman who allowed this to be done to him/it/her.

Flourishing Florida said...

sef, ur uncle no know wetin em dey talk o. na wetin comsain baby wey dey inside sac with semen? ha! if semem fit enter, den know say dat baby don dey 'comtaminated', cos so many other microbes for don enter too. hmm. abeg o.

unless d man go finish 2 do him wife b4 dem begin rush am to hospital 4 delivery. sef, b4 all d doctors dem don chooke chooke dem hand 4 inside dia, d semem go don comot 4 road.

Afrobabe said...

Saw the full thing last week myself...In the past I always fell asleep half way..
Quite sad really..

Hmmmmm...I think men just see how delicate their wives look at that point and freeze up.
How the hell do you know Uncle has a long dong?????????
My phone rings, beeps, bleeps,chimes every 20 seconds...a lock would drive me mad!!

I love to scroll, ransack, search people's stuff for no just reason!! I LOVE it!!

Thrush will go...unless you need it to go asap...then it doesn't go...hehehhehehe

histreasure said...

sex during preggy is rreal bliss, no holds-barred cos really, no be like say u de fear to carry..lol..but its safe for her to be OB/GYN certified as good to go..if it a riskier than usual preggy, he may be told to stay off..

Even so, preggies differ, for me, i was quite a freak with the first baby, but the second time around, lets just say, i couldn't be bothered..they still haven't been able to tell me y? i guess, it happens!

SHE said...

Reasons abound to pasword phones o!

Sensitive stuff that can destroy the snooper's christian life; Credit issues, especially when you use a postpaid line; some who read stuff can't keep their mouths shut...e.tc.

Somehow, one just gets used to it!

Fragilelooks said...

LOL IBI, HOW WOULD U KNOW ABT UR UNCLES DONG??????
I PUT PSWORD ON MY FONE CUZ I HATE PPLE GOING THRU MY PHONE. ITS MY PERSONAL EFFECT, SO KEEP OFF.

musco said...

no guy has commented so far.shld I break d jinx?

okay I will ...na wa with this post o.obvious blogville women like 'shagging' during pregnancy.

thumbs up to ur uncle 4 being so open.wish I had an uncle like urs.

UnNaked Soul said...

I dig you on the password on phone... I took mine off and grew a new attitude towards anyone who venture towards my phone... because things dey inside wey small pickin eye suppose no see, plus isn't a mobile phone suppose to be personal?

9jaPhoenix said...

Hahahahahahaaha!!! @ your uncle! Damn. iDied at that semen part mahn. Wow.

Passwords are me mehn. I love passwords so much, in a past life I was probably a secret in keeper to the pharaoh or sth. I HATE people shuffling through my stuff. Literally makes my skin crawl. Hence, the passwords.

Tales said...

LMAO!I have missed you blogging a lot!I had a laugh with this one.... how u dey o? And why you and ur uncle go dey discuss the size of the package?hahaha!

Muse said...

ibiluv...it runs in your family!

bArOquE said...

this your uncle sha...btw, how do you know he has a long phallus (as u like to call it)???

if people like Afro dint go thru people's stuff, then we might not need to password our phones, hence all my phone are passworded & shall remain so...i'd rather not have you take anything of mine to your grave, thanks...leave it for me

i guess its as they have said, the trush will go but in its own time...btw, is it communicable?

ibiluv said...

@Myne....aha..a satisfied once pregnant woman?
so you didnt notice the part about
the long dong abi?
by the tyme i saw the doc....
self med had cleared it...
culture was clear..wink

@Taynement....i feel you but you see...i have a pretty hard stance
about certain stuff....no one i mean no one goes thru my stuff
there is usually hell to pay
and i'm very vindictive so you dont wanna be crossing me
intro?to my uncle's dong?*&^$$^*)_(*&^%%

@Sirius....glad you *was*
not you is....
shagging during pregnancy?
you go girl...

@Naijalines....it is...
i look forward to it...
abi make person no halla me after searching thru my stuff jo...

@Doll...it doesnt...wink

@FFF...na my blood....no one in my family does dat shit.use my fone???
i concur on case by case
but i sure say my own case no go be harmattan case...heheheeheh
dry???how???lol

@Berean Girl....whatever works for you babes....my bb isnt passworded and i have every detail about me on there...
no dearie...baby is in its amniotic sac...nurrin go poke am...

@Mixcynic...it wont chook baby dear...heheheheheheh at that pic

@FFF...na joke....dont take his words literarily girl...wink

@Sis...you too?lol...he told me o
i didnt see it oooooo
shey all that chiming,pining,beeping and locks?
hell to the no
if i catch you ransacking my stuff
i will seat on you....QED
wicked you...it stayed longer than i wanted it to
but i still got *sum*

@histreasure...na that freaky you i go be.....i'm sure
wink

@SHE...i feel you

@Fragilelooks....he told me...*adjusting halo*...
ahhh madness runs in my family o

@Unnaked Soul...dats the gist
its personal....i wont password it
but i expect peeps to stay the heck away from it

@9jaPhoenix...lol...mind him not...passwords?ok

@Tales...cos we dey craze????

@Muse...it sure does...mwah

@Baroque...na tell him tell me o-and i believe am-old peeps no dey lie abi?
its not communicable
moreover google it
empower yaself
wink