Sunday, July 11, 2010

Its On...Wicked....Married vs single.......Sneaky....

I've got on red nails
i've got on a sleek hairdo
i've a mini dress
i'm gonna pamper my skin
then get a bikini wax.....
its on's on....

She's soooooooo wicked
If i was dating a married man
i wouldn't encroach on his personal space
See...Dad had 2 other mum's
Mum had 2 other mum's
so i come from a generation of women who share
friends find it odd when i say i can share
my very first boyfriend couldnt understand
why i never got mad when he cheated on me
if i asked...did you? and he
it was all i wanted to hear
it meant(to me)
if i was married to his ass
she was still a girlfriend or a mistress
def not a mate(for me)

squeeze your face all you want
spit all you want
i come from a family of women who share
and i have no issues sharing if i have to
i just want the sharing to be fair

so back to my story
if i was dating a married man
and his wife's pic is his screensaver
it would not bother me
if i was dating a married man and he,wifey and the kids
did london-dubai-US for three weeks and all i get is a perfume
it would not bother me
if i was dating a married man and he talked about his plans
his dreams,his biz and all this had wifey and kids in it and no me
it would not bother me
if i was dating a married man and he always had money for madam and the kids and all i ever get is a measely financial boost one every few months it wouldnt bother me

i would enjoy every minute i get with him
not mind (so much)about the dates that get canclled
cos jnr fell ill or daughter had a recital he couldnt miss
or madam needed him at home to put on the gen

you know why?
she freaking owns him
and he owes her.....
he swore before God and man to be there for her....always
and his *unborn children*
what I have with him I cant justify when i go down on my knees
what she has with him she can justify everyone
and to the *supreme being*

i digress....
its hard to judge why people cheat on their spouses
or why single people date married people
some girlfriends will become second,third or fourth wives
some girlfriends will be elevated to mistresses
some will bear the term the *the mother of my children*
some girlfriends will have their relationship fizzle out
some girlfriends will eventually become that girl you used to shag
but whose husband you now play golf with
the one who helps your wife understand you berra
is there when you need someone to talk to
but cos you are both married
neither of you will cheat on their spouse

I consider her a friend-she's like the sister
i dont have
everyone else in my life doesnt get me as much as she does
.......but when she told me
she sent an sms to her Tolu's wife (her married boo's wife)
...........*i'm pregnant for Tolu*

i told her
she is wicked

i still cant comprehend it
then she says
her emotions run deep
she wants him to marry her
she is mad about having aborted the pregnancy last yr
(i just found out about this abortion)

granted wifey calls her up
send curses her way....etc
but wifey can do that shit
even though her pulling such stunts means she's crass
cos women who have class know...
if u are mad at hubby
*punish ur man*
ignore the litle hussy who has her claws in ur man
oh did i tell u
when Tolu needs to go out and
he sends an sms to wifey saying where he is gonna be
it annoys my pal

did i mention
said pal was devastated by her father's
actions when he got a second wifey cos
her mama was relegated to the warehouse
(felt like it)

stupid girl probably doesnt remember what
it was like growing up in her home anymore
she has her eyes set on becoming the *other* woman

i'm appalled at her
i'm mad at her
i'm surprised that she learnt nurrin
from her parents's situation
and i still think
she is down right wicked

when i get invited to a wedding
if the groom is my pal and i know only him
chances are.....i wont attend
i just appreciate being invited
if the bride is my friend and i know only her
chances are.....i wont attend
i just appreciate being invited
but i will buy the aso ebi
if i and some other peeps are friends with
either or both the groom and or bride
chances are.......i will attend
I and other friends can keep ourselves company
if the couple forgets to plan for us
i've been to weddings that i dont even get a sip of water
sorry folks
bad planning by couple
cos your friends wont chase after the caterer or your mama
so if noone is detailed to entertain them
they will share your happy day but
stay hungry and dehydrated

what is it with peeps who get married and dont tell you?
it feels sneaky...........i hate sneaky
i understand about peeps needing to have quiet weddings
i understand about peeps not wanting you at their weddings
but you can send me an sms,mail,chat,post,ping,buzz
i'm getting married soon
dont even hint me about date or venue
i'll know you informed me even if you didnt invite me
i get so upset when i get to facebook
and another status has changed
i guess people forget to invite peeps
once again
all i need is to be informed
i dont need to be invited
i may not even honour the invite
but when i dont hear about it and a week later
your status changes on facebook
it upsets me
cos i care....
becos you see only the people i care about
......are able to hurt me
with their words and or deeds
it tells me said friend doesnt care as much as i do

my friend tells me to shut up about it
i wont invite everyone she tells me
i know i wont
i honestly want a wedding of about 30 people
but my mum gets to be mother of the bride once
so i may have to let her invite the
whole town like i know she wants,needs to
but we may compromise
i really would love a nikkah of about 30 peeps
then a big reception(to please my mum and the clan)
months or even a year later.....

but i'm not bothering myself about it yet anyways
i need me a yam supplier first
(42 tubers of yam)


Nice Anon said...

Interesting read here.... hmmm

TayneMent said...

love reading your posts. Anyways I understand not attending if you are only a friend to the husband but you also say: if the bride is my friend and i know only her
chances are.....i wont attend...why is that?

tsk tsk @ your friend.

It's a tricky situation to tell someone you are getting married without inviting them then again if they don't feel it necessary to inform you, I guess you realize where you stand with the person.

Myne Whitman said...

I don't mind fair sharing myself too. If you want to do something, do it properly.

And yeah,I agree about informing people about your wedding. Even if it'a an event on FB sef...

fantasy queen said...

dating married men philosophy is dont date them...cos i tell you, it always gets to a complicated place where you'll do something out of emotions that'll label you as wicked . i.e hounding the wifey.

i feel you on the wedding, i'd love a small one too, but its my moms day as well, she'll have none of it.

doll said...

my mum gets to be mother of the bride once too*

bArOquE said...

you know what eh, ibiluv, no matter how long your posts are, i always read it to the end...& u had better feel special bcuz i scroll down first b4 i even start but not for you...ok ok ok enough said

your friend is very due to lose an eye from severe battering from Tolu's wife's boys, & i will willing make the call...she's such an ass

personally, i dont care if i am informed about anybody's wedding, really wont bat an eyelid...unless we were seeing each other & you were gonna leave me & marry your knight in silver plated armour

ok, i go...btw, i love your nails & hair...i think you look sleek

Parakeet said...

Chick is really wicked...mehn I dont wanna be that wifey o. No telling what I'll do.

As for wedding invites, if they're your good friend, the least they could so is at least invite you.

tboz said...

Anchored in reality.. though many would find fault with some of your views. I like the fact that you're comfy with yourself and your views, probably the best route to peace of mind.

Fair sharing however,is a God given grace in my opinion. Some families ride the waves with success, some sink..

Omotee! said...

interesting read, interesting views..... like that

altho i disagree with the informing and inviting thing, if u inform and the person asks for details do u say "sorry i aint inviting u"

i know i cant have a small wedding, my mother has been praying for that day all her life!

Lara said...

love your views on dating married men, if has had to share, then sometimes you get to understand the situation. Would also love to have a small wedding, but to have that, i would have to have disowned myself from the family.

~Sirius~ said...

Wow @ your friend.....she's deep.

But as I have come to learn, to each and everyone his own.

As for weddings and telling "friends"

It's a personal decision.

Quite frankly I won't be bothered if I'm not told.

I make it a point of duty to reserve emotional ties for immediate family members only.

Every other person who isn't tied to me by blood or vows to God doesn't owe me anything.

~Sirius~ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Muse said...

about your friend...never doubt that people learn from past hurts...most times, they get in the same situation to prove something to no one in particular.

about that wedding

SHE said...

Eh? That your friend bad small o! anyways, it may still work out well for her.

I agree jare. If you know a man is married, and you still agree to date him, then you should give him some family space abeg.

CaramelD said...

I just don't have that type of liver to follow a married man. I believe you will cray at some point and make someone else cry too.

Two years ago I don't know what my response would have been to not being invited to someone's wedding, but mehnnn recently I have seen every form and variation of nupitals that it is best to just let the couple get on with whatever they want to do. Less stress self!

Afrobabe said...

First of all, when a married man dates a single girl..there is no such thing as personal space...he forsook that when he pulled his pants down...I shall come home if there is belle...

But when you put it the way you in she can justify everyday..

After Sirius suceeded in her small wedding plans...I think I'll go for that too...

Will dodge my ma and all her groups!!

ibiluv said...

@Nice anon....wink

@Taynement....personally i expect to be informed if we are friends..cos if we are friends-i would understand if he/she told me its a wedding/party for 50
but that i would find out from a mutual friend or facebook is unpardonable in my books

@Myne Whitman...yup-fair sharing is fabulous-a woman after my heart-if i am *friend* its unpardonable if i dont get some some of notice

@Fantasy cant force your opinions on others-and a man who dates a woman other than his wife-finds in the other woman-something wifey doesnt have
i am not saying-men go out and cheat....but if man finds a girl to cheat each his own
and some women understand how to share...wifeys and mistresses/girlfriends know about each other
wthout grave consequences in many households


@Baroque....mwah on....i am close to calling Tolu's wife's boys too-she's a total idiot-
thanks baby-nails and hair?fabulous!!!!!!!!!

@Parakeet...One never knows how wicked those they consider friends can they need not invite me
especially if its a small wedding
but i expect to be informed

@Tboz....i agree with you-fair sharing is an art

@Omotee...yes i can say i am sorry you cant come-its only for 30 people-which is why if the person is my *friend*-them suppose understand-
maybe you can-small wedding!!!!!!
wink at getting disowned...nah you will find a middle ground....
yea dating a married man is also an art

@Sirius...she's mad
personal decision i respect
doesnt stop me from being miffed about it
i dont reserve emotional ties to immediate family only
they i dont get to choose
friends i choose
so i kinda expect more from them
doesnt owe you anything?thats relative but then
to each his own.....

@muse....i concur....em..em...em???

@She....i pray it does....definitely-after all he did not lie about being married at cry at somepoint....i no hold couple o
they can do whatever they want
i only said
if i consider you friend
i expect to be informed
i wont invite myself by force if said person explains its a small wedding
it just would hurt me that i wasnt told
especially if we have talked about weddings a few months/weeks before

@Sis...there is personal space-if girlfriend cant give it
she doesnt need to be with a married man
and if you dont inform me
i will de-sister you
i dont mind not being invited(i will kill *you* sha)

Tisha said...

This is amazing!

Amazing story
I have no words of advice
reading this was just surprising.

Seshe James said...

Nice Blog you have