Sunday, May 31, 2009

Ibiluv is 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So mi blogged turned two today
yippie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i treated blog writer to a manicure,a pedicure
and dinner out..........
alone yea but it felt good to treat me




i lost 5,000 naira yesterday
got sooooooooo mad i was prone to curse
the bagger that picked it
then i remembered it was my fault
if i had put the money in my purse instead of
in my pant pocket,i for no loose am.........

then i sent a prayer to Baba God
i pray my money does not end up spent on drugs,cigarettes or alcohol
it had better go to some hungry family that saw it as manna from heaven





my aunt says i look pregnant
since i've not held,rode,sucked,licked or had
a phallus in almost a year
and i doubt if we have sperm banks in naija
moreover i have not visited one....
her diagnosis is soooooooooooooo wrong.....

neways i'm all for a sexually satisfying relationshipwithout getting pregnant

children should be catered for
nutured.......
brought up in the way of the Lord
educated
fed
clothed
and one should be ready to worry till they die
moreover they cry at night
then they teeth
then they crawl
then you have to chase them around the home
then they are adorable darlings
then little horrors
then darlings
then annoying adolescents
then they make your heart soar with pride
until they become your meal ticket.....(maybe not)
but then they start to take care of you
when you loose the ability to do so yourself
why would any human not think it thru
before getting pregnant

sex lasts all of 13 mins for most men(i'm not counting foreplay)
children last a lifetime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



my mama calls me sometimes to ask if i've eaten
when i scream she goes
you'll always be my child
i dont care how old you get........


awwwwwwwwwwwwww
love you mama
............









So mi cousin says
only a man knows why he wants to be with a female
maybe all he likes is the swell of her cleavage
maybe he just likes how her ass looks in a skirt
maybe he likes the way she talks
maybe he likes the way she sings
maybe she can cook up a storm
maybe she fucks his brains out
when he makes the decision to marry
if and when he decides to.......

only he will know why he choose to spend
the rest of his life with the woman he chooses

dont be surprised if he cant explain it




why did he give me this lecture?
he has a girl
she's hawt..............she models part time(she's in uni)
but he's been chasing after a little girl
that lives in the flat below where i live with her family
i dont care if all he wants to do is tap that ass

cos he asked if i was not curious about his attentions to her
and if i was gonna tell the babe anything
and i said all i could and will tell her if she thinks
she can cosy up to me bcos of him is
*he just wants to tap that ass*
so she better continue to be a silent neighbour
and if she's allowing her ass to be tapped

at least she's getting sum.............



my friend's ex used to say je ka lo dobo
used to get her hackles up
cos it means lets go fuck

i read a novel recently and dude says
come upstairs and lie with me
i thought *sweet*

but that just gives her time to say no


men should never ask dem yeye questions
can i kiss you?
can i fuck u?

if u wanna.....just turn her to putty
if she lets you
chances are..............you can tap it

whats all that question and answer for??????????


i know i talk,write,read,watch sex a lot......

its the next best thing to having it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

34 comments:

Funms-the rebirth said...

congrats on being two.........
my mum calls me everyday too...mothers r sweet....

Only a man knows why he wants the particular woman....ur so right......

cerberus said...

Happy anniversary.

LUMIDEE said...

hmmn..True true--you just so on point with thots about only a guy knowin what he wants in a particular woman.Might intrest you what blogville dudes gat to say--how about takin a survey on our thots?..LOL

btw

Happy anniversary..

kmplx said...

Happy birthday blog!
LOL at your cousin's little girl cosying up to you.
:)

Qube The Wordsmith said...

hapi blog bday!!!!

Go out n get ur freak on!!!

Quaggar said...

Hey.. congratulations. lol @ whats all that question and answer for?

Almost a whole year? u try o.

mizchif said...

Congratulations!!!

I'm with you on the "turning her to putty" If the guy has him A game on, there really is no need for Q & A!

Parakeet said...

Only a man know why he wants a woman or what he wants from that woman. True talk Ibi which is why we sisters need to stop trying too hard.

Congrats on being 2 by the way. You try well well. But babe how did you do without sex for almost a year now?

N.I.M.M.O said...

Wisdom from Ibi.

No matter how many books they write on the subject or how many 'Marriage Seminars' they hold on it, every man marries a woman for one reason and one reason only - and he is the only one that knows it.

You can teach a man what to do on a date or what to do in a marriage but not WHY to marry.

If there's one thing ALL men wish ALL women -including mothers, sisters, aunties etc - knew, it is that!

About your 'phallus condition', maybe its the fasting that comes before the feast. Be Expexctant.

Congrats on being two.

~Sirius~ said...

Happy blogday!!!

I pray your money goes into good use too.

True story about kids and their evolution.........also, guys and their decision on the woman they choose to spend their life with.

Isn't it funny that they get to choose? Half they time I wonder about their decision making process.

I pity the 1st dude you land....future hubby take note.....Ibi out to destroy......lol.

PS: what is it with you and timing sex?

LG said...

*congrats dear'
we go wash am o :-)

Tigeress said...

lol!! Funny post. U are one crazy individual.

Have a blessed week. xxxx

Lady Koko said...

HAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!! IBII!!!!!!!!!! i have missed this!!! YOU!!!! U DONT CHANGE......THATS Y I KEEP COMING BACK! happy bday! hooray!
p.s:i relate....why ask....take control..u dont always need my permission! XOXO

CaramelD said...

Happy 2nd Blogday!

True words about getting pregnant!

Question and answer sessions are a killer!

chayoma said...

PARTY!!!

Happy 2nd Blogday...

true words on the pregnant issue

rethots said...

Hmmm....

Freaksho said...

happy blogday babe. nothing do you!

Roses said...

Happy birthday! And I totally agree with you. Those kind of questions annoy the hell out of me! Why do some guys have to ruin the moment? lol
x x x x x

Afrobabe said...

my dear if Halle Berry's man could cheat on her then no woman is safe....

happy blog aniversery..

Anonymous said...

Dang! Two years? A newbie like me still got a lot to prove then. Well done.

Smaragd said...

happy blogiversary twinny.

pregnant ke? lol, u must be the new Mary.

LusciousRon said...

You are totally outrageous! Happy bloggervasery!

Yep those questions can be irritating. You want to why not go ahead.

doll said...

i agree no need for them questions

Just makes things awkward

Happy blogversary

rayo said...

lol at ur last sentence. guys nd never being satisfied with wat they have. o ga oh.
i 4got my one yr anniversary on blogville

incoherent said...

Happy 2nd anniversary :)

and y is ur friend annoyed? i prefer when a guy is straight up about what he wants. nothing irritates me more than when a guy tries to pussyfoot (ha ha pun SOOOO intended!!) his way to what he wants. i'm not dumb and we're not 15 neither is this the victorian era. girls I BLAME YOU! let the guy cut to the chase abeg.

yeah my mom still calls me to know if i've eaten, brushed my teeth, wiped my bum properly.......is that what is OUR future ibi? i shudder

incoherent said...

bleh! i meant to say what our future IS*

T-razor said...

WOW!
if you show as much passion as you put in your blogposts when you actually have sex, then I think you would be having sex for a long time and never have dry spells!

Howaya?!

Shubby Doo said...

happy anniversary hun

Buttercup said...

Congrats on your anniversary and sorry bout the loss of your money o. Aren't mothers the absolute best?

What Nigerian Women deal with. said...

LOL
i so love your blog, whaaaaaaaat!!!

why have i not been here before?

one year without sex???, is there an award for that???, i think they need to start handing out cash prizes.

bArOquE said...

now i am confused...too much randomness...however, i highly recommend that you get some, at least one phallus...can we talk privately (at least i can ask that one)LOL...i like that question sha, can i fuck you, there's something very brave about it...hmmmmn *wink*

Vera Ezimora said...

Ibiluv, I always love your posts. So random. LOL. Now I don't even know what to comment on.

Aww @ your mom. You'll definitely always be her child.

Really, only a man knows why he does what he does. I'm clueless.

LOL @ aunt's diagnosis.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

Ibiluv! How far?

ibiluv said...

@Fums.....mothers are such darlings....na so dem tell me say na only men dey know....

@Cerebrus....merci

@LUMIDEE....i just might...thanks

@kmplx.....bless ya.....*wink*

@Qube The WORDSMITH...i did.....*wink*

@Quaggar...i wonder o-why the questionnaire???lol...i dey pat myself for back o

@Mizchif....thanks....gimme a guy with A game anyday.....*wink*

@Parakeet....we sure do...me sef i no know as i take do am o...*wink*

@N.I.M.M.O....lol.....word...the fasting before the feast....i'm expectant....thanks

@Sirius....amen dear...no be say i dey time sex o..na survey o....

@LG...we don wash am-where you go???

@Tigeress....i am...lol

@CaramelD....thanks....*wink*....they sure are....

@Chayoma...yea.....thanks...yes o

@rethots.....hi

@Freak.....mwah

@Roses....i have NO idea.....

@Sis....i know....

@Anonymous...thanks...

@Twinny......lol

@LusciousRon.....i am....i know....abi o...no question me....lol

@doll.....yea

@rayo...u forgot?????

@incoherent....i shudder too to think i could turn out to be a fusspot like my mom....lol

@T-razor....i know my onions but no relationship survives on sex alone.......

@Shubby Doo....thanks dearie

@Buttercup....they sure are....(mothers)

@What Nigerian Women Deal with...*blush*....thanks...i deserve some cash o.....

@bArOquE....you wan help me out??call me on 080...you wan ask person that question???*wink*

@Vera....lol....i don cofuse you...yippie...comment on all jo...yea-my mam...i'm also clueless...no mind the yeye aunt jo....

@Solomonsydelle...i dey kampe...you???