Monday, May 31, 2010

Mi Blog is Three!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Blog is 3 today

He is fabulous with his tongue
he has a small phallus(she told me)
he is possessive
checks her fone,stresses over everything
wonders how as a markerter in a bank
she seems homely

his possessiveness drove her nuts and she said HELL NO
after all the dick no dey *fill* her neways

8 months later he marries his ex

he's been married about 10 months now
and word from him is his wife has not fucked him in 8 months
not even a kiss he says
his ex(my pal) and i are wondering if na the smallness of the dick
dey cause marital issues
why she marry am?
cos no sex after ONLY 2 months of marital bliss?
or is she pregnant?
well we didnt ask cos some wives tend to close shop
when they get pregnant
but then again
is it a case of two sexually incompatible people getting married?
but why do men marry women with whom they are not sexually compatible?

but like my cousin says........wives change........

my cousin told me
these days after 2 kids he has to beg for *it*
sometimes he needs to buy a gift for wifey
before she lets him have sum
this is a woman who would give it to him just about everywhere
and anytyme when they were dating
so is it the kids that tire her so much???
i no know why her man has to beg for it o
he confessed to loving the tyme work sent him to SA
he sowed his oats he says.......
now he is back and he is begging for it all over again
for some reason he has no plans to cheat on her in naija
but he is running out of his mind..........

i KNOW there's more to a marriage than sex
but THUNDER fire anyone that tells me

colleague of mine
his wife had a miscarriage after 3 months
when she got pregnant the second time
*his words*............she closed shop
up and down shop he says
she for at least open the top shop he said
but she was sore.....
shop was closed for 9 months and now the baby is here
shop is still closed.......
(i know there is a 6 week no sex after baby rule)
its been 3 months since the baby came
he MUST be a saint cos i know him well enuff(i think) to know
he probably has mastered the art of masturbating
or he just cant,wont sleep with others to let go of his sexual tension
cos he tells me almost on a daily,how sexually frustrated he is
i always give him a great big hug and tell him to hang in there.....

another colleague has the same scenario
miscarriage and shop closed
but with him???all he needs is a willing female
who knows??? he may already have a few....

I love sex......after i discovered it...
i keep wondering if pregnancy and kids
will keep away from *my* phallus
cos i know when i decide to have and to hold
one for the rest of me life
its gotta be a pretty good specimen
else why would i wanna forsake all others???
so if i decide to forsake all others
how can he be sexually frustrated if we are in the same bed???
ok fine-some days/nights-one or both of us is too tired
some days/ or both of us is there will be no soundtracks
some days/nights...I or he will be away
i can understand a few days of madness in personal lifes and no sex happens

court documents signed to say sex is legal
yams exchanged
dowries paid in families where dowries are accepted

and one month
two months
then to hear 8 months


wives stop letting those women outside outshine you jo
so even if and when he gets sum on the outside
because some men will...........

homeboy knows for sure that when he gets home
madam will fuck him like a porn star

I know someone who is in love with a man who has
4 wives and 9 children
She is seperated from her own husband
her husband has remarried or is currently cohabiting
with another woman who has a son for him
and he is asking for a divorce

what i dont understand is
she gets into a relationship after her seperation and it is
with a man with 4 wives????

cos for a woman to be number 5
guy must have DIRTY MONEY
wrinkle your nose all you want
shake your head if you will
but something must make a woman wanna be number 5
if you dont know what i mean
ever been near a compost heap?
see how bad it smells and affects you?
yels money that does that to a person

i'm a muslim.....almost everyone i'm related to
is a polygamist
i come from a world where polygamy
is encouraged and accepted

man takes a second need to crucify him
if we are able to know the inner workings of the man's mind
more often than naught...he has a valid reason....
hard to believe i know
wrinkle your nose
shake ya head
spit on the floor if you will
if the guy is not a promiscous fuckhead
there is usually a valid reason......Q.E.D

but when he takes a third and a fourth
he is either a confirmed polygamist.....hehehehehehe
or a KING

so help me ask this person i know
is madness worrying her?
she has been crying ooooo
begging him(Mr 4 wives) to come back
cos her elder sister made a big fuss and
Oga said im no do again
me i dey wonder gan ni
number 5?
9 children?
so her kid if any...will be number 10?

if his money isnt smelling...yea dirty money smells....
there is no basis for number 5ism

cos if he is a pussy eater
he probably has eaten 4 pussys before he heads to yours
if he is a kisser
that 4 pussy eating mouth will pass you saliva????


abi i lie?

dick enter pussy 1,2,3,4 then hers
mouth chop pussy 1,2,3,4 then hers
mouth exchanges saliva with mouth 1,2,3,4 then hers
moreover if he's shagging her(she's not his wife is she?)
then he is shagging others!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and (whisper)your average married man doesnt use condoms
well he's gotten used to, not needing to wear the damn thing
matter of fact....most married phalluses detest *the sheath*
I hear peeps attest to it(men and women alike)
once you put a sheath on such a dick
dick goes to sleep
so her own Oga is probably going sheathless
into some 5 pussys and counting????

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh the things we endure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you,I and all of us whey dey shag.........


bArOquE said...

3years&counting...congrats darling

...even d unmarried ones don't like d feeling of the sheath inbetween phallus & crevice...I have unproudly skin dived more than I should have *bows head in shame*

that woman must b mad for wanting to be with a man that already has 4wives&9children...she no well...she shloud just cut her own show & walk when it looses flavour...well na she know how she wan arrange herself with his dirty money

To us all who shag...yes, we see & endure thingz

Naijalines said...

Na wa for that woman o. Men flenty for town now, with dirty money sef. Why dis one? Maybe he's jazzed her with his phallus or it is extra suga coated. *sigh*

Sheathless is scary. The risks people take sha.

phallatio said...

I am not a muslim, I am not religious, but I sure wish I could have several wives! (There, I said it!) No one woman can satisfy me. (There, I said that too!)

Married women that don't keep their men sexually satisfied are truly the stupidest women on the planet. If you think your husband isn't going to stray, you are a fool!

If your pussy is out of order, there are other ways to make a man cum, and it is so easy to make a man cum! If you want to keep his ass quiet, put the shopping channel on mute (for a few minutes) and get that spunk out of him!

bumight said...

preach, sister Preach!!!

In the words of Esther from Welcome to Lagos, "her puss is sweet, it has honey and lemonade, and maggi..."

Lol, ok i know that has nothing to do with ur post, i just wanted to type it!

3 years and running, congrats!

Nice Anon said...

It definitely takes a smart one to keep going for that long. Here's to 3 more.

I think one of the things I am scared about is marrying a man who i am not sexually compatible with. God forbid!

Funms-the rebirth said...

Congrats darling........Heres to 10 more years....
My prayer everytime is when i marry, may i not turn into one of the women that close shop. i love sex too much for that to happen sef.....hehehehehe

wow, wife no 5? maybe she sees something in him we all dont see...

Evee said...

Congrats dear.

SEX is a big issue in marriage and it has made and marred some unions. I see no reason why someone should close shop once you are married and have children. Some women make people think it is only men who enjoy or love sex. Women love sex too so there is no need pretending otherwise.

SHE said...

How can you marry a person and decide you are not sexually compatible? You will learn the compatibility by force o!

As for the woman who wants to be wife number 5, whether them see vision for am?
Serious thing!

doll said...

i actually thought it was the other way,...that the man gets bored and the woman has to beg for it

histreasure said...

congrats on d blogoversary..keep on going strong!!

no be small swearing dem swear for dat babe o..she wan be no 5 abi de man go divorce no 4 so she go fit in - oga o.

women dont have it easy..yes, stress & tiredness(and believe me there's a lot to get u stressed out) can cause low libido, infact, sex will be the last thing on your mind..
it's just that you have to find some means to refresh your self and get it all together..
cos YES! YES!! YES!!!..SEX helps keep the relationship,mehn, you gotta get your groove on o

mizchif said...

"i KNOW there's more to a marriage than sex
but THUNDER fire anyone that tells me

No be lie you talk my sista.

I like the way you graphically counted the 1,2,3,4 mouths to kiss and orisirisi.
No be small endurance oh.

Naijalines said...

I just wanted to let you know my latest post is NOT about your comment on my blog a few days back.

Just in case you or anyone else wondered if it was. Lol. It is nothing to do with you o. Hope all is well.

incoherent said...

considering my current one and a half years of (forced) celibacy :( i honestly cannot imagine any reason i would refuse whoever i marry sex. yeah once in a while u'll be tired but EIGHT MONTHS?? haba! as i dey so the next boy who does the horizontal tango with me better bring along a six pack of red bull!! grrrrrr

(notice how this post is just entirely about my sexual frustration? he he)

cerberus said...

3 years of keeping people entertained.... Felicidades guapa.

Sometimes i hear things like this and i find them hard to believe.

Na juju wan take gree am be number 5?? cos no mata how bad that money stinks that number 5 go clear your eye.

Afrobabe said...

I wonder if men close shop.....

Muse said...

congrats luv...3 years talking your crazy yarns no be small ting! lol!

close shop? na craze? we go demolish am! up Fashola!

musco said...

abi o!

dis sex thing sef!

ibiluv said...

@baroque...wink at your ya honesty
,most peeps wont admit it...but we've all had our share of skin diving...

i agree o
she craze gan ni...i doubt his money is even dirty

yes dearie...we see...we endure...wink

@Naijalines....well..some women dont see past the phallus...i agree
sheathless is scary but risk taking is fun.... are just a polygamist at heart dearie....wink...i think married women should trully stop *closing shop*...i quite agree there are other ways to make a man cummmm

@Bumight...bless you babes...

@Nice sis...amen o....God seriously forbid....

@Funms-the rebirth....amen too o...maybe all this shop closing wives never liked sex in the first place???
i would really wanna know what she sees o...number 5?????????

@Evee....helep me tell all these wives oooooo

@SHE.....heheheheheh at learning by force...i wonder o-vision?lol

@doll....a man never stops wanting his woman...i think some women just stop he seeks......elsewhere.....

@histreasure...i no know for her o
still cant get over it though-number 5? i said...even as a single sexually active female
there are days i dont have sex on my mind...but a married woman who doesnt shag her hubby for 8months?
wahala dey o.... sister...THANK YOU!!!! serious endurance... sweat babes...i no even relate am at all...all is dandy...wink

@incoherent...a six pack??no go kill person

@cerberus...merci...i no understand the babe at alllllllll

@Sis...i think husbands do as a reaction to wives closing shop... to demolish the shop

@Musco....i tireeeeeeee....wink

Anonymous said...

congrats dear ;)