Thursday, October 20, 2011

do we really ever know anyone or ourselves?

sometimes i wonder if i am being truthful when i say i am

not sad,not lonely,not angry,or that i am happy

whilst i agree that happiness is a choice

i do know that sometimes being happy or getting

to the frame of mind of being happy is/can be a chore

i have legendary mood swings

one minute i am sad

the next minute i am happy

it doesnt matter if its home/office/play

when my mood changes i just wanna be left alone

sometimes i dont even know why i'm suddenly sad/upset

so i let it simmer for a few minutes then internalise

and find what triggered it

usually i am able to find what it is and deal with it

if i care about a person/thing
i bother about her/him/it
i involve myself in their life
be it in a little way or a big way
a call/a text/an email
if i can drag myself to visit.........
i must love you

that is because i only need people in small doses

i spent a lot of time growing up by myself
so i'm used to entertaining me
i've never been bored in my life
i'm pretty sure it will never happen
i'm also quite able to create new worlds in my head
worlds i wanna live in
afterall dreams come true
i'm also adept at doing favourite past time

i'm sensing they think its jealousy
maybe even envy
its actually anger

i'm the chatter box
in someone's company so long as there is no tv
i'll entertain you
i talk a lotttttttttttt
most of my stories are about me

i'm not a good gossip
cos i tend to confess to the victim
so hardly would you catch me gossiping

why am i angry?
its not like i think its anyone's fault
its one thing for me to like being by myself
its another thing to be excluded

now that i no longer wish to be included
they are coming at me with the snide remarks
jealousy,envy,sadness they say

i say-go jump over the third mainland bridge please

i'm upset at work peeps
every single one of them forgot my birthday
i made a fuss to a select few
some reverted with a genuine apology
someone in particular seemed to shrug me off

i'm vindictive enuff to do same to her in 2012
oh and dat goes to everyone in my life

its the one day in my life that i will exercise
my God given right as a woman to invent and establish drama

oh and another thing............
i treat people the way they treat me


leobabe said...

welcome back ibi:)

and yes i kinda understand wtu say wen u mean sometime u jst want to be left alone.....

Toinlicious said...

Ok, so who's head am i bashing in. Just 2 names pere

Myne Whitman said...

We keep learning everyday. That thing about change being the only constant, yeah...

N.I.L (Naijamum in London) said...

Take a deep breath and keep your head high..........!

Fragilelooks said...

yea, it gets to a part wen i too just wanna be left alone. i am my own best company.

happy in arrears.

HoneyDame said...

Ditto NIL...

Muse Origins said...

Happy birthday 2 months in arrears

Muse Origins
Muse Origins FB

ibiluv said...

@leobabe.....thanks know dat feeling shey


@myne...howdy dearie

@NIL...bless you



@muse...i see i've been missed