So i caught a movie
king has a rule
any young man that works in the palace must be castrated
Queen no gree make them castrate a particular guy
cos she fancied him as a boff mate so she changed the castrator
to a trusted man......
i wonder what will happen in part 3 when they catch them..........
So my tendencies..........
na one babe make them think am ooooooooo
we needed to donate money for something in school
na 100 level i dey
na so we donate to class rep
two weeks later no project no money returned
na hin i broke oooooo
i ask for my own
na so my people...3 other ladies ask
she talk say she go give us back
a week later ...no money
na so for class one day
we 4 go meet am
return the kiishi........abi u don spend am????
no i havent...........i just keep forgetting
ok no wahala............dont forget tomorrow
tomorrow she no come class...........
na so for evening we 4 plus one attache go her house
we all wear black pants-battle ready outfit......abi no b so????
as we reach her hostel ask for her
the first person we ask look us-up....down she say no
she no dey this hostel
we just laugh..............
na so i tell my peeps make them chill
i see one toaster-na so i tune up my foney voice
how u doing?i need to pick up an assignment from D
do u know where her room is??
na so guy grin show me the room
i go back to call my peeps
room was ajar.......
she no dey room
we searched every where
upturned her bed
looked under the mattress...locker..bags...boxes
two of us no dey see meat
dem chop the meat whey the girl cook for pot
another one see pad soaked in bucket
after all our ransacking
not a dime..............
so we took
her bag
a few books(we be classmates-we know whats important)
and her iron(iron na serious thing to own in school o)
then we dropped a note
YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE
YOU ARE A DIRTY LITTLE THIEF
SEE SOAKED PAD IN YOUR ROOM
YOU NO SABI COOK SEF-MEAT NO SWEET
IF YOU WANT YOUR BAG,IRON&BOOKS BACK
RETURN OUR MONEY!!!!!!!!
we left singing songs and feeling good with ourselves
kept our hostel and room door locked
we expected her to retaliate..............
Friday, September 26, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Honesty na best policy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From Red sapphire
The Rules:
1. When you receive the prize you must write a post
showing it, together with the name of who has given
it to you, and link them back.
2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more)
that you find brilliant in their content or design.
3. Show their names and links and leave them a
comment informing that they have received an award
4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and
those you give the prize (optional).
5. And then pass it on!
......*blush*....
this is late but better late than never they say.....
as you (Red Sapphire) dash me honesty award...........
no be my fault if u see the kain bulala my
mama beat me when she taught me the honesty lesson
u for understand why i honest like this......
i was 7...mama wanted to teach me the 'be honest always' lesson........
day 1-sweep the room.....i did....there was 1 naira coin under her praying mat
-i picked it up and put it in my pocket......
spent it on sweets later........
day too.....same scenario......
day 3..she must have been watching-just as i dropped it in my pocket
she walked in..........what is that she asked?nothing i said...
did u see any money?
no i said...na so she say open your hand and empty your pocket
na dia she see the coin......na so she lock door......ah
temi ti bami(my own don meet me)
no one to save me o...she beat....she beat..........
na so my palle dey shout.....no kill am o......
she answer-na me born am if i kill her i go born another!!!!!!!!
shuo????
kai my malle beat me that day ehhhhhhh
i asked her later if i was adopted
after the beating
she carry liniment put for my body give me panadol
coca cola and fried fish to step down.........
she come ask me 'do u know why i beat u like that?
i dey chop fish i only shake head
NEVER EVER TAKE WHAT IS NOT YOURS AND
DONT U EVER LIE TO ME OR ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER
HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY!!!!!!!!
lesson learned!!!!!!cos walahi to this day i remember the
way my body smarted-its a wonder my skin fresh.....*wink*!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok back to awards
Red Sapphire.....thanks love
who i go dash????-u don already dash ladyguide,enigma,afro,fff,funms,parakeet,baroque,emilia....
i hereby dash my awards to twinny......u know now
if not u who else???...her blog is like a summer breeze
freaksho....his mind???? a wonderful gift
charizardandbuttercup......two for the price of one.....why ever not???
solomonsdyelle...her kids......i love.....abi she go dash me????
007......his posts.....lovely writing sytle.....
madeinnaija.....where else but blogsville would we find
someone as precious/eccentric as u????
ubongda.....i miss......
tejuola.....sweets we need another series!!!!!!!!!
theres always miz-cynic,doll,uzezi,teediva,mz dee,shubby doo,unnaked,fluffy,geisha.song,afronuts,ozaveshe,ninestein,laspapi,speechgirlbucknor,freshandfab,nyemoni,princesa,tubman,oluwadee,nigerican,inyamuakut,duchess-duchessofnaija,misstairebabs.thekushchronicles,aphroditesearch,aloofaa,plastik-musings,fragito,anotherwomanslife,womanonthebrink,rhea9914,shacrown,agbero,ashewo,shiraoko,rethots,anannimos,cogitations-on-the-web,zara,eyemuse,obalichi,moaboy,sprezatura,ejura,allied,cat-dragged-in,darlingoma,sprezatura,tininu,mscocoabrown....dem remain i swear cos i peruse about 200 blogs.....lol.....but i'm tired of typing...no vex....love ya all-everyone has a different style but that what makes us who we are.......
wetin u say make i do?make i tag dem tell dem say i dash dem award abi????
i go try remember..........*wink*......
The Rules:
1. When you receive the prize you must write a post
showing it, together with the name of who has given
it to you, and link them back.
2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more)
that you find brilliant in their content or design.
3. Show their names and links and leave them a
comment informing that they have received an award
4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and
those you give the prize (optional).
5. And then pass it on!
......*blush*....
this is late but better late than never they say.....
as you (Red Sapphire) dash me honesty award...........
no be my fault if u see the kain bulala my
mama beat me when she taught me the honesty lesson
u for understand why i honest like this......
i was 7...mama wanted to teach me the 'be honest always' lesson........
day 1-sweep the room.....i did....there was 1 naira coin under her praying mat
-i picked it up and put it in my pocket......
spent it on sweets later........
day too.....same scenario......
day 3..she must have been watching-just as i dropped it in my pocket
she walked in..........what is that she asked?nothing i said...
did u see any money?
no i said...na so she say open your hand and empty your pocket
na dia she see the coin......na so she lock door......ah
temi ti bami(my own don meet me)
no one to save me o...she beat....she beat..........
na so my palle dey shout.....no kill am o......
she answer-na me born am if i kill her i go born another!!!!!!!!
shuo????
kai my malle beat me that day ehhhhhhh
i asked her later if i was adopted
after the beating
she carry liniment put for my body give me panadol
coca cola and fried fish to step down.........
she come ask me 'do u know why i beat u like that?
i dey chop fish i only shake head
NEVER EVER TAKE WHAT IS NOT YOURS AND
DONT U EVER LIE TO ME OR ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER
HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY!!!!!!!!
lesson learned!!!!!!cos walahi to this day i remember the
way my body smarted-its a wonder my skin fresh.....*wink*!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok back to awards
Red Sapphire.....thanks love
who i go dash????-u don already dash ladyguide,enigma,afro,fff,funms,parakeet,baroque,emilia....
i hereby dash my awards to twinny......u know now
if not u who else???...her blog is like a summer breeze
freaksho....his mind???? a wonderful gift
charizardandbuttercup......two for the price of one.....why ever not???
solomonsdyelle...her kids......i love.....abi she go dash me????
007......his posts.....lovely writing sytle.....
madeinnaija.....where else but blogsville would we find
someone as precious/eccentric as u????
ubongda.....i miss......
tejuola.....sweets we need another series!!!!!!!!!
theres always miz-cynic,doll,uzezi,teediva,mz dee,shubby doo,unnaked,fluffy,geisha.song,afronuts,ozaveshe,ninestein,laspapi,speechgirlbucknor,freshandfab,nyemoni,princesa,tubman,oluwadee,nigerican,inyamuakut,duchess-duchessofnaija,misstairebabs.thekushchronicles,aphroditesearch,aloofaa,plastik-musings,fragito,anotherwomanslife,womanonthebrink,rhea9914,shacrown,agbero,ashewo,shiraoko,rethots,anannimos,cogitations-on-the-web,zara,eyemuse,obalichi,moaboy,sprezatura,ejura,allied,cat-dragged-in,darlingoma,sprezatura,tininu,mscocoabrown....dem remain i swear cos i peruse about 200 blogs.....lol.....but i'm tired of typing...no vex....love ya all-everyone has a different style but that what makes us who we are.......
wetin u say make i do?make i tag dem tell dem say i dash dem award abi????
i go try remember..........*wink*......
Monday, September 15, 2008
You Bit Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was the year 2000-the month of september.............
i was on a camping trip with mi late night loving club to one of the northern states
got my first ride on a bike-(okada) t'was fun
another opportunity to meet and make new friends-males and females...
as well as new toasters
so i met C
goodlooking but fair skinned
looked,talked,walked,acted like a man with a string of girls(exactly the type of guy who wont get a whiff)
i made a female pal-we fast became close
dude would spend day tyme with moi-promise me heaven and earth
and spend evening tyme with my new female pal..........he must have got a kick from it
one of them nights we had a competition
u loose......u down half a bottle of small stout
at the end of the game i had a bottle in me
he had downed 2 small bottles
he looked,acted,talked tipsy........a man who cant handle his alcohol i cant stand.......
i do remember that on the last night of camp-dude said to mi-
if i leave without shagging you Ibi-i don fuck up
that was enuff reason to let his woody hang
(even hard......it didnt look interesting)
i told him to go to my new female pal-she may be more receptive.......
he left.....to this day i have no idea if she was a lot kinder than i was..........
three years later
we hook up in lagos
he invites me to motherland
i love Lagbaja but hadnt been............
so i accepted
fateful friday-we hook up
the ride we were gonna go with-acted up
we grab a cab and head there
he offers popcorn-no
suya-no
a drink-alcohol-no
juice-no
dont u want anything??
i'm fine
all i want.........u already gave
watching Lagbaja perform live!!!!!!!!!!
he downs two big bottles
gets louder by the min
i aiint fazed
there were other acts,comedians
......in all
i had funnnnnnnnnnnn
we leave at 4am
too early to head to mine
we head to his
we get to his
i'm beat
head to his room
lie down
my senses are on red alert...
i had on a knee length skirt with a slit
true to type
a while later his hands start to wander
i sit up and without mincing words
i aiint no virgin
i do like sex
but i aiint fucking you
not tonight
not ever
if you are not gonna let me get an hours sleep before i head to mine
i can go wait the hour in the living room
but then again i dey wonder.........
how safe will i be with his druken flatmates
if i head to the living room....
sorry he says......i'll let you be
i fall asleep
a while later i feel his hands on me
i try to get up
dude gets rough
i'm trying to free myself
stop.....relax he says
stop.....chill he says
stop.....please he says
he gets rougher
he says.....please i need this
i realise no be joke o
this guy go fuck me o
abi na rape me sef at this rate
OH GOD
WHY DID I WEAR A SKIRT
I'M STRUGGLING
i'm close to tears
pls stop....pls stop....pls......
yeeepaa.......his finger in my punny????
i dont want this i say......u are wet he says
this realisation gives him ammo
na so dude wan tear pant ooooooooo
ah for this Lagos?????
I BIT HIM ON HIS SHOULDER
i must have tasted blood
he screams.......arrrrgggghhhh
YOU BIT ME!!!!!!!!
na so he release me
i scuttle away......grab mi bag/shoes
as i dey waka commot i still dey hear
Ibi......u bit me...........
i no look back o
wait he says
for where??????
i get to his gate-locked
i was ready to tear it down
was about to go wake up his flatmate(s)
Baba Loke loves mi o
his neighbour steps out
opens the gate
Good morning i say
the guy dey look mi one kain
i no send ooo
walk as fast as possible
get to the busstop
get a bus to maryland
na so i begin shake
abi na shiver
abi na convulse(my doctor says na shock)
i cry small sef
the guy beside me for bus dey look mi
i just dey think am
ahhhhhhhhhh na so them dey rape person oooooooo
i get to maryland
by now C has called 8 times
i aiint picking
get a cab-to mine
got home
had a bath
breakfast
lights off
windows drawn
fones on silent
go to bed(must have been 9 am)
i wake up about 5 pm(no nightmares)
i return all missed calls
except C's............
call mi closest pal
we talk about it
laff about it
i finally pick his 30th call.....
about 9 pm
i'm calmhi i say
i'm so sorry he says
i didnt mean to be rough
i just wanted you soooooooooo bad
you do things to me
in fact you had me in knots all night
i do apologise
but Ibi..........
you didnt have to bite me
i would have stopped if i realised you really didnt want me
i said
ah u for no stop o
you were like an animal
beyond reasoning
i wasnt taking chances
you for do.............
then blame it on the alcohol
i like u C
i could never date u though
and i sure as hell aiint fucking u
but i do forgive u
as for biting you...........i'm glad i did
take care of u
thanks for taking me to motherland
i had fun
i honestly felt no animosity towards him
but if he had entered
hmmmmmmmmmm
no be only bite i for bite am o
i wasnt suspected to be a female cultist in school for nothing o
i had/have certain tendencies...........
i was on a camping trip with mi late night loving club to one of the northern states
got my first ride on a bike-(okada) t'was fun
another opportunity to meet and make new friends-males and females...
as well as new toasters
so i met C
goodlooking but fair skinned
looked,talked,walked,acted like a man with a string of girls(exactly the type of guy who wont get a whiff)
i made a female pal-we fast became close
dude would spend day tyme with moi-promise me heaven and earth
and spend evening tyme with my new female pal..........he must have got a kick from it
one of them nights we had a competition
u loose......u down half a bottle of small stout
at the end of the game i had a bottle in me
he had downed 2 small bottles
he looked,acted,talked tipsy........a man who cant handle his alcohol i cant stand.......
i do remember that on the last night of camp-dude said to mi-
if i leave without shagging you Ibi-i don fuck up
that was enuff reason to let his woody hang
(even hard......it didnt look interesting)
i told him to go to my new female pal-she may be more receptive.......
he left.....to this day i have no idea if she was a lot kinder than i was..........
three years later
we hook up in lagos
he invites me to motherland
i love Lagbaja but hadnt been............
so i accepted
fateful friday-we hook up
the ride we were gonna go with-acted up
we grab a cab and head there
he offers popcorn-no
suya-no
a drink-alcohol-no
juice-no
dont u want anything??
i'm fine
all i want.........u already gave
watching Lagbaja perform live!!!!!!!!!!
he downs two big bottles
gets louder by the min
i aiint fazed
there were other acts,comedians
......in all
i had funnnnnnnnnnnn
we leave at 4am
too early to head to mine
we head to his
we get to his
i'm beat
head to his room
lie down
my senses are on red alert...
i had on a knee length skirt with a slit
true to type
a while later his hands start to wander
i sit up and without mincing words
i aiint no virgin
i do like sex
but i aiint fucking you
not tonight
not ever
if you are not gonna let me get an hours sleep before i head to mine
i can go wait the hour in the living room
but then again i dey wonder.........
how safe will i be with his druken flatmates
if i head to the living room....
sorry he says......i'll let you be
i fall asleep
a while later i feel his hands on me
i try to get up
dude gets rough
i'm trying to free myself
stop.....relax he says
stop.....chill he says
stop.....please he says
he gets rougher
he says.....please i need this
i realise no be joke o
this guy go fuck me o
abi na rape me sef at this rate
OH GOD
WHY DID I WEAR A SKIRT
I'M STRUGGLING
i'm close to tears
pls stop....pls stop....pls......
yeeepaa.......his finger in my punny????
i dont want this i say......u are wet he says
this realisation gives him ammo
na so dude wan tear pant ooooooooo
ah for this Lagos?????
I BIT HIM ON HIS SHOULDER
i must have tasted blood
he screams.......arrrrgggghhhh
YOU BIT ME!!!!!!!!
na so he release me
i scuttle away......grab mi bag/shoes
as i dey waka commot i still dey hear
Ibi......u bit me...........
i no look back o
wait he says
for where??????
i get to his gate-locked
i was ready to tear it down
was about to go wake up his flatmate(s)
Baba Loke loves mi o
his neighbour steps out
opens the gate
Good morning i say
the guy dey look mi one kain
i no send ooo
walk as fast as possible
get to the busstop
get a bus to maryland
na so i begin shake
abi na shiver
abi na convulse(my doctor says na shock)
i cry small sef
the guy beside me for bus dey look mi
i just dey think am
ahhhhhhhhhh na so them dey rape person oooooooo
i get to maryland
by now C has called 8 times
i aiint picking
get a cab-to mine
got home
had a bath
breakfast
lights off
windows drawn
fones on silent
go to bed(must have been 9 am)
i wake up about 5 pm(no nightmares)
i return all missed calls
except C's............
call mi closest pal
we talk about it
laff about it
i finally pick his 30th call.....
about 9 pm
i'm calmhi i say
i'm so sorry he says
i didnt mean to be rough
i just wanted you soooooooooo bad
you do things to me
in fact you had me in knots all night
i do apologise
but Ibi..........
you didnt have to bite me
i would have stopped if i realised you really didnt want me
i said
ah u for no stop o
you were like an animal
beyond reasoning
i wasnt taking chances
you for do.............
then blame it on the alcohol
i like u C
i could never date u though
and i sure as hell aiint fucking u
but i do forgive u
as for biting you...........i'm glad i did
take care of u
thanks for taking me to motherland
i had fun
i honestly felt no animosity towards him
but if he had entered
hmmmmmmmmmm
no be only bite i for bite am o
i wasnt suspected to be a female cultist in school for nothing o
i had/have certain tendencies...........
Friday, September 12, 2008
LETS GO THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go where?
i no know..........lol
We dey fast
no talk about gbenshing
no thinking about it
no doing it
no writing about it
commenting about it
watching it
reading it
dreaming about it
kai..........i will survive
i am that hair covering,sock wearing,glove wearing sister
dressed like a woman in purdah..........
even as i am the above.....................
it dont change the fact that i looovvvveeeee sex
i love to think it
dream it
fantasise about it
do it
talk about it
think of new ways to enjoy it
i am............i am..........
so i read somewhere a loooonggggggggggg tyme ago
in the month of Ramadhan
married couples can play with themselves during the day
(if they wish)..........emphasis on married
so long as there is no copulation and ejaculation
the fast remains valid
so decided.........this rule i shall follow
what does it matter if i aiint married???????????
and.........
at night
what do u think??????????
i no know..........lol
We dey fast
no talk about gbenshing
no thinking about it
no doing it
no writing about it
commenting about it
watching it
reading it
dreaming about it
kai..........i will survive
i am that hair covering,sock wearing,glove wearing sister
dressed like a woman in purdah..........
even as i am the above.....................
it dont change the fact that i looovvvveeeee sex
i love to think it
dream it
fantasise about it
do it
talk about it
think of new ways to enjoy it
i am............i am..........
so i read somewhere a loooonggggggggggg tyme ago
in the month of Ramadhan
married couples can play with themselves during the day
(if they wish)..........emphasis on married
so long as there is no copulation and ejaculation
the fast remains valid
so decided.........this rule i shall follow
what does it matter if i aiint married???????????
and.........
at night
what do u think??????????
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
From Fluffy
Are you clean???????
How often do you:
take a shower - once a day, hardly ever twice!!!
brush your teeth - Once a day
floss - after meals
wash your toilet - everyday
wash your tub/shower - once a week
dust your furniture - weekly
Windex the windows - monthly
let your dirty dishes sit in the sink/on the counter for more than 1 day?
more than a day??????????NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!a few hours at most
Use a washer or hand wash your dishes? hand wash only-it makes sense to wash plates once i clear them-i already walked to the kitchen........no?????
wear the same jeans over and over? if its black-2months or thereabouts if its blue-2weeks at most
wear the same bra over and over? same bra two days in a row.....no no.....and they get washed weekly
wash your car? when i get one-definitley once its dirty-boys whey dey do car wash need to chop!!!
clean the interior of the car? soon as i see dirt
cut your toenails? weekly
wash your bed linen? forthnightly
use wet toilet paper (they make those now) instead of dry toilet paper?
water works just fine
vacuum? no rugs-tiles only
wash your fridge? weekly
put your laundry away after washing them? immediately
take your garbage outdoors? its outside-i empty it weekly
Do you:
dump trash out your car? nope.
leave leaves or seeds lying around on your coffee table? no cofee table
collect junk mail unintentionally? all the tyme
have bills everywhere but in one spot? nah
have stains on your carpet? none if i can help it
have dirty handprint marks near your doorknobs or doorways? Nah
toothpaste gels in your sink? never
toothpaste/water splash marks on your mirror above your sink? Nah
have a mop? yea
How do you disinfect?
Dettol(for the Naija people LOL)- Plenty plenty
i tag-Enigma,Freaksho,LG,Afro,Smaragd,007,invisible,miz-cynic,chaari,fantasy queen,shubby doo,dark cat,badder chic,funms,lady koko,jaguda,geisha,sprezatura,doll,fff,aphrodite..(I'M TIRED)
ok i tag EVERYONE tag reads mi blog!!!!!!!!!!!!
How often do you:
take a shower - once a day, hardly ever twice!!!
brush your teeth - Once a day
floss - after meals
wash your toilet - everyday
wash your tub/shower - once a week
dust your furniture - weekly
Windex the windows - monthly
let your dirty dishes sit in the sink/on the counter for more than 1 day?
more than a day??????????NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!a few hours at most
Use a washer or hand wash your dishes? hand wash only-it makes sense to wash plates once i clear them-i already walked to the kitchen........no?????
wear the same jeans over and over? if its black-2months or thereabouts if its blue-2weeks at most
wear the same bra over and over? same bra two days in a row.....no no.....and they get washed weekly
wash your car? when i get one-definitley once its dirty-boys whey dey do car wash need to chop!!!
clean the interior of the car? soon as i see dirt
cut your toenails? weekly
wash your bed linen? forthnightly
use wet toilet paper (they make those now) instead of dry toilet paper?
water works just fine
vacuum? no rugs-tiles only
wash your fridge? weekly
put your laundry away after washing them? immediately
take your garbage outdoors? its outside-i empty it weekly
Do you:
dump trash out your car? nope.
leave leaves or seeds lying around on your coffee table? no cofee table
collect junk mail unintentionally? all the tyme
have bills everywhere but in one spot? nah
have stains on your carpet? none if i can help it
have dirty handprint marks near your doorknobs or doorways? Nah
toothpaste gels in your sink? never
toothpaste/water splash marks on your mirror above your sink? Nah
have a mop? yea
How do you disinfect?
Dettol(for the Naija people LOL)- Plenty plenty
i tag-Enigma,Freaksho,LG,Afro,Smaragd,007,invisible,miz-cynic,chaari,fantasy queen,shubby doo,dark cat,badder chic,funms,lady koko,jaguda,geisha,sprezatura,doll,fff,aphrodite..(I'M TIRED)
ok i tag EVERYONE tag reads mi blog!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
5 Thrusts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7years ago.....was in sch...well it was one of them
outings with that club of mine where we like
late night meetings.......
went from our uni to another 2hrs drive away.....
1 female and 3 guys
3hrs later-this dude is shatting me up.....
i'm loving the attention-one of the dudes i travelled
with from my uni had been trying to date moi for about
6 months so he wasnt enjoying the attention i was getting
or the fact that i was obviously loving it....
dude chatting me up-lets call him Jay-stays glued to my side...
all this while guy from my school-(lets call him Sean)
his frown gets darker by the minute.....
we've been there 6 hours....meetings done-
it was tyme to joli..........
Jay's crooning in my ears-next thing i know he's
asking me to marry him-dude has known me 6 hrs.....
i'm basking in the attention not believing a word
of all the love he is professing-he(S)is married
with a pregnant wife so i know
he just needs to get laid cos he's not been
getting any at home.....
fast forward to midnight i'm tired-dude(Jay) no gree mi dance
so i'm tired from the inactivity i say i wanna sleep
he offers me a bed-we usually have this late nite sturvs
in hotels-so i go in-he decides to lie beside mi-
i'm too tired to bother
next thing i know he's touching-i just let him be
he gets bolder i swat his hands off
he keeps at it
i decide-make i see werrin he wan do
...........the twins are freed
i'm looking into his eyes
no longer feigning sleep
he keeps at it
bra off
shirt off
jeans off
pants off
i pause.........
he says pleassssssssseeeeeeee
i ask why he is begging(ish pisses me off like crazy)
he says let me in-
just the head
i ask how that will help him
he pleads
pls just let mi thrust 5 times
so i tell him
make it worth ur while cos you are only gonna get 5
he puts on protection
he goes in.........(nice)
first.......second.......fifth.....
i slide out
get up
dress up and walk out
his jaw must have been on the floor............
back in the hall
i pull up 3 chairs
made miself a makeshift bed and doze.....
news travels....no?
cos Sean found out
not sure if Jay bragged or if Paul a pal of Sean said
sumthing cos he saw me come out of the room with Jay.........
all i know is Sean insulted/abused/teased
me the whole 2 hr drive back to our uni the next day
i didnt even bat an eyelid
i let him rant
all the while reading a novel..........
its my vagina............no?????
i can dash whom i wish
outings with that club of mine where we like
late night meetings.......
went from our uni to another 2hrs drive away.....
1 female and 3 guys
3hrs later-this dude is shatting me up.....
i'm loving the attention-one of the dudes i travelled
with from my uni had been trying to date moi for about
6 months so he wasnt enjoying the attention i was getting
or the fact that i was obviously loving it....
dude chatting me up-lets call him Jay-stays glued to my side...
all this while guy from my school-(lets call him Sean)
his frown gets darker by the minute.....
we've been there 6 hours....meetings done-
it was tyme to joli..........
Jay's crooning in my ears-next thing i know he's
asking me to marry him-dude has known me 6 hrs.....
i'm basking in the attention not believing a word
of all the love he is professing-he(S)is married
with a pregnant wife so i know
he just needs to get laid cos he's not been
getting any at home.....
fast forward to midnight i'm tired-dude(Jay) no gree mi dance
so i'm tired from the inactivity i say i wanna sleep
he offers me a bed-we usually have this late nite sturvs
in hotels-so i go in-he decides to lie beside mi-
i'm too tired to bother
next thing i know he's touching-i just let him be
he gets bolder i swat his hands off
he keeps at it
i decide-make i see werrin he wan do
...........the twins are freed
i'm looking into his eyes
no longer feigning sleep
he keeps at it
bra off
shirt off
jeans off
pants off
i pause.........
he says pleassssssssseeeeeeee
i ask why he is begging(ish pisses me off like crazy)
he says let me in-
just the head
i ask how that will help him
he pleads
pls just let mi thrust 5 times
so i tell him
make it worth ur while cos you are only gonna get 5
he puts on protection
he goes in.........(nice)
first.......second.......fifth.....
i slide out
get up
dress up and walk out
his jaw must have been on the floor............
back in the hall
i pull up 3 chairs
made miself a makeshift bed and doze.....
news travels....no?
cos Sean found out
not sure if Jay bragged or if Paul a pal of Sean said
sumthing cos he saw me come out of the room with Jay.........
all i know is Sean insulted/abused/teased
me the whole 2 hr drive back to our uni the next day
i didnt even bat an eyelid
i let him rant
all the while reading a novel..........
its my vagina............no?????
i can dash whom i wish
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Mel and I.......................
I am still single 2 years after Mel......
......he was MY chocolate.....
i went into that relationship with every intention to just have fun.........
go clubbing,eat out,shows,concerts-name it-we did it.....sleep cuddled in his arms,gbensh(earth-shattering,mind blowing)....,eat,watch movies on the couch all day...he would catch up with work when i was asleep...i always knew when he would slide out of bed......i would walk into the living room to find him buried in his designs(graphic artist)........he liked to go running sunday mornings....every second with him was bliss......
we are both bats......he only takes his(glasses) off to gbensh and bath....
i take mine off in familiar surroundings.........
of them all(lovers i have had-ask Angelina Jolie only 4)...........he is the one man i was ready to commit to...i would have literarily climbed the highest mountain for him.......
yea i know he should have done the climbing........
he would call just to hear me voice he would say.....i had access to his home,friends,sister but not his folks(wasnt looking forwad to access then either).....by the tyme i fell....i fell HARD!!!!
told him i wanted more cos i don fall..he said
**i think i am in love with you too**......
i broke that rule...ladies never say it first they say...
i was past caring......we then pussyfoot around the subject for 8 months
then he comes over to mine-says we need to talk.....we retire for the
night at 10 and talk till 5am.....we didnt even shag...
we had to get up to go to work....
i'm feeling...after this(THE TALK) we would be headed for the altar in a yr........only for dude to disappear from my life........
we hook up 3months later......he needed to clear his head he says.......(i for don know say na lie abi)
we hang out at a jazz concert then head on to his-i'm looking forward to heart stopping boffing..........i'm riding him and i see a card on his wall......a val card......didnt send him one-all i got was a text from him wishing me a great day(it was during his 3 month head clearing session).....and i start to cry-snivelling...tears streaming down......he turns me over to ride me.....he notices the tears just as bright ligths go off in my head......
he cradles me but doesnt ask the reason for my tears....
.........i dont say either......
he calls me two days later and i ask him to loose my number.......
we got together last yr when his younger sister got married......i kept my distance whilst still secretly yearning cos i can draw it(the offending val card) from memory!!!!!!!!!!!!
after the wedding-he came to mine a week later-we talked-said he thought i cried cos he was hurting me-and i asked if he got bigger in the 3 months hhe took to clear his head-so i told him about the card.....he said it meant nothing...i'm sure it did i said...just that the name in that card stared at me amongst the names in the wedding train.......
......u dont have to lie to me i said....i can take it-the truth.....
all u had/have to say is i no love you.......
....he called me a few months back when i changed jobs to say congrats........crazy thing is i still kinda long for him but i've resigned myself to the fact that i cant have him.....but if he calls me up today....tomorrow....next month
....i might go back to them arms......t'was such a perfect fit.........
......he was MY chocolate.....
i went into that relationship with every intention to just have fun.........
go clubbing,eat out,shows,concerts-name it-we did it.....sleep cuddled in his arms,gbensh(earth-shattering,mind blowing)....,eat,watch movies on the couch all day...he would catch up with work when i was asleep...i always knew when he would slide out of bed......i would walk into the living room to find him buried in his designs(graphic artist)........he liked to go running sunday mornings....every second with him was bliss......
we are both bats......he only takes his(glasses) off to gbensh and bath....
i take mine off in familiar surroundings.........
of them all(lovers i have had-ask Angelina Jolie only 4)...........he is the one man i was ready to commit to...i would have literarily climbed the highest mountain for him.......
yea i know he should have done the climbing........
he would call just to hear me voice he would say.....i had access to his home,friends,sister but not his folks(wasnt looking forwad to access then either).....by the tyme i fell....i fell HARD!!!!
told him i wanted more cos i don fall..he said
**i think i am in love with you too**......
i broke that rule...ladies never say it first they say...
i was past caring......we then pussyfoot around the subject for 8 months
then he comes over to mine-says we need to talk.....we retire for the
night at 10 and talk till 5am.....we didnt even shag...
we had to get up to go to work....
i'm feeling...after this(THE TALK) we would be headed for the altar in a yr........only for dude to disappear from my life........
we hook up 3months later......he needed to clear his head he says.......(i for don know say na lie abi)
we hang out at a jazz concert then head on to his-i'm looking forward to heart stopping boffing..........i'm riding him and i see a card on his wall......a val card......didnt send him one-all i got was a text from him wishing me a great day(it was during his 3 month head clearing session).....and i start to cry-snivelling...tears streaming down......he turns me over to ride me.....he notices the tears just as bright ligths go off in my head......
he cradles me but doesnt ask the reason for my tears....
.........i dont say either......
he calls me two days later and i ask him to loose my number.......
we got together last yr when his younger sister got married......i kept my distance whilst still secretly yearning cos i can draw it(the offending val card) from memory!!!!!!!!!!!!
after the wedding-he came to mine a week later-we talked-said he thought i cried cos he was hurting me-and i asked if he got bigger in the 3 months hhe took to clear his head-so i told him about the card.....he said it meant nothing...i'm sure it did i said...just that the name in that card stared at me amongst the names in the wedding train.......
......u dont have to lie to me i said....i can take it-the truth.....
all u had/have to say is i no love you.......
....he called me a few months back when i changed jobs to say congrats........crazy thing is i still kinda long for him but i've resigned myself to the fact that i cant have him.....but if he calls me up today....tomorrow....next month
....i might go back to them arms......t'was such a perfect fit.........
Friday, August 22, 2008
KNEADING 2......................
freshened up.....got to the meet looked for my ex....
found him...found a spot beside him.....
we exchange pleasantries.......
said i was looking good and doing things
to him with me voice........i just smiled.......
everyone gets down to biz.......its 1am.....
ex whispers how long am i gonna be...i say another hour
.........asked which room i was in.....first floor...
second door on the left...meet u there at 2am he said...
meeting would still be in progress.....
i set my mental alarm.....most of the stuff i
would need to give a full report on-would have been thrashed
........2am.......
i get up...head towards the loo.....didnt want
smallie following me....head for the stairs.......
in my room...minutes later a knock.....my ex......
he comes in..........turns the locks.....no words
are needed..i had boffed this man for 3yrs.....
he gave me my first orgasm......
and there were two before him.......
...making out was as good as i remembered......
he is the originator of my fascination with fingers in me
......he could make me cum with his fingers(G-spot finder)........
now if it was him that had his fingers in me hours earlier...
i for no fit write them minutes again oooooooo.........
so we grope,lick,suck,touch,flicker,kiss......
i got the orgasms i needed....good man that he is...
my pleasure comes first.......he makes to have coitus
.......no i say......
.........*&^%$£%$^&.......i'll make you come i say...
you cant without coitus he says....
try me i said with a glint in my eye..........
.........i'm cleaning up a while later......
i'd rather that,than swallow his cum......
he had this silly grin on his face......
you are the first girl that has ever succeeded.......i have hidden talents i say.....
minutes later i usher him out......went back downstairs......
council meeting ended about 4am......back to my room....
was about to turn out the lights......i was gonna have to get up by 7am
....a knock.......my kneader...........
go to bed i say......
but we had an agreement he says.....
i open the door a crack and say.....boy........
go to bed...what did u think i was gonna let you do??????
dont worry-in a yr or two u will find a girl your
age ready to let go of her virginity........
someone down the hall laughs........i lock my door......
turn out the lights and send Mel a text.....
will be at urs about 5pm-see ya....je te manque......bientot!!!!
incase you are wondering......when this happened
ex was engaged-we broke up the year before(03)...
started dating Mel two months after i broke up with ex.....
by the tyme this happened-Mel and i had been an item 6 months
..........i didnt cheat on Mel with ex.........or did I????????
found him...found a spot beside him.....
we exchange pleasantries.......
said i was looking good and doing things
to him with me voice........i just smiled.......
everyone gets down to biz.......its 1am.....
ex whispers how long am i gonna be...i say another hour
.........asked which room i was in.....first floor...
second door on the left...meet u there at 2am he said...
meeting would still be in progress.....
i set my mental alarm.....most of the stuff i
would need to give a full report on-would have been thrashed
........2am.......
i get up...head towards the loo.....didnt want
smallie following me....head for the stairs.......
in my room...minutes later a knock.....my ex......
he comes in..........turns the locks.....no words
are needed..i had boffed this man for 3yrs.....
he gave me my first orgasm......
and there were two before him.......
...making out was as good as i remembered......
he is the originator of my fascination with fingers in me
......he could make me cum with his fingers(G-spot finder)........
now if it was him that had his fingers in me hours earlier...
i for no fit write them minutes again oooooooo.........
so we grope,lick,suck,touch,flicker,kiss......
i got the orgasms i needed....good man that he is...
my pleasure comes first.......he makes to have coitus
.......no i say......
.........*&^%$£%$^&.......i'll make you come i say...
you cant without coitus he says....
try me i said with a glint in my eye..........
.........i'm cleaning up a while later......
i'd rather that,than swallow his cum......
he had this silly grin on his face......
you are the first girl that has ever succeeded.......i have hidden talents i say.....
minutes later i usher him out......went back downstairs......
council meeting ended about 4am......back to my room....
was about to turn out the lights......i was gonna have to get up by 7am
....a knock.......my kneader...........
go to bed i say......
but we had an agreement he says.....
i open the door a crack and say.....boy........
go to bed...what did u think i was gonna let you do??????
dont worry-in a yr or two u will find a girl your
age ready to let go of her virginity........
someone down the hall laughs........i lock my door......
turn out the lights and send Mel a text.....
will be at urs about 5pm-see ya....je te manque......bientot!!!!
incase you are wondering......when this happened
ex was engaged-we broke up the year before(03)...
started dating Mel two months after i broke up with ex.....
by the tyme this happened-Mel and i had been an item 6 months
..........i didnt cheat on Mel with ex.........or did I????????
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
KNEADING 1..........
....So i got to surulere 7:28pm
my Aunt was in the living room
i too respect the woman oooooo
na ma mama elder sis
she no gree me kill her only daughter
cousin's laptop has a virus
on my flash or hers.........files no show
on her laptop e dey show
so i practically formatted her laptop
as well as her flash
if it is on her desktop at work
.........it will crash.........
i am flash files-less
mad that i lost office related documents i had on it
can always retrive it though.......
pics and sturvs???
will start a new library
never will i let her touch my stuff again
....never...........
poro luving friend called to apologise
she agrees its partly her fault
cos of her hurry..........
bottom line-i will survive
............4years ago......
i was actively participating in a youth oriented organisation
late night meetings were our speciality........
i was a member of everything
usually holding down exec positions
i had two meetings that night
first meeting was scheduled to hold in my room
9pm-10pm we agreeed........
second meeting was scheduled for 10pm
and would probably last till dawn..........
first meeting in progress......i was cold
i owned this big wrapper.......used it to cover my legs/feet...
dude sitting beside me decided he was also cold
wrapper was big enuff for two
moreover na leg i wan cover........had on a red shorts.........
a few minutes later his hand lands on my lap.....
i dont flinch.............
.......i'm taking minutes..........
a few miniutes later he gets bolder...
i allow his hands to caress.......
.......whilst still ignoring his ministrations......
he moves up...........not even a sigh from me........
...i'm scribbilng so i can later transcribe....
he finds me panties......starts to play with my lips
........i bend down to scratch non itchy feet........
he gains more access...........
..........i hear him gulp.......
.........i'm scribbilng...........
he gets bolder.........
one finger makes an attempt.........
i move closer to edge of the bed......
.....more access...he goes in.....scribbling
he's drooling...........
...........if anyone else in that room noticed .....
they didnt bat an eyelid.........
........he has a field day...........
meeting ends......i usher everyone out........
need to prepare my notes for the next meeting......
he hesitates at the door........
come back after the meeting-i say.......
Does it matter i am 5 years older??????..........
i figured dude needs to practice......
I needed to freshen up.......
......my ex was in the building......
i had bigger fish to fry............**wink**
ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!
At a local college dance, a guy from America
asked the girl from Sweden to dance.
While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze,
and says, “In America, we call this a hug.”
She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too.”
A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek,
and says, “In America, we call this a kiss.”
She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too.”
Toward the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later,
he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to
have sex with her, and says,
“In America, we call this a grass sandwich.”
She says, “Yaaah in Sveden,
we call it a grass sandwich too,
but we usually put more meat in it.”
Three women were sitting around talking
about their sex lives.
The first said, “I think my husband’s like
a championship golfer. He’s spent the last ten
years perfecting his stroke.”
The second woman said, “My husband’s like the
winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into
bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps.”
The third woman was silent until she was asked,
“Tell us about your husband.”
She thought for a moment and said,
“My husband’s like an Olympic sprinter.”
“How so?”
“He’s got his time down to under 11 seconds.”
my Aunt was in the living room
i too respect the woman oooooo
na ma mama elder sis
she no gree me kill her only daughter
cousin's laptop has a virus
on my flash or hers.........files no show
on her laptop e dey show
so i practically formatted her laptop
as well as her flash
if it is on her desktop at work
.........it will crash.........
i am flash files-less
mad that i lost office related documents i had on it
can always retrive it though.......
pics and sturvs???
will start a new library
never will i let her touch my stuff again
....never...........
poro luving friend called to apologise
she agrees its partly her fault
cos of her hurry..........
bottom line-i will survive
............4years ago......
i was actively participating in a youth oriented organisation
late night meetings were our speciality........
i was a member of everything
usually holding down exec positions
i had two meetings that night
first meeting was scheduled to hold in my room
9pm-10pm we agreeed........
second meeting was scheduled for 10pm
and would probably last till dawn..........
first meeting in progress......i was cold
i owned this big wrapper.......used it to cover my legs/feet...
dude sitting beside me decided he was also cold
wrapper was big enuff for two
moreover na leg i wan cover........had on a red shorts.........
a few minutes later his hand lands on my lap.....
i dont flinch.............
.......i'm taking minutes..........
a few miniutes later he gets bolder...
i allow his hands to caress.......
.......whilst still ignoring his ministrations......
he moves up...........not even a sigh from me........
...i'm scribbilng so i can later transcribe....
he finds me panties......starts to play with my lips
........i bend down to scratch non itchy feet........
he gains more access...........
..........i hear him gulp.......
.........i'm scribbilng...........
he gets bolder.........
one finger makes an attempt.........
i move closer to edge of the bed......
.....more access...he goes in.....scribbling
he's drooling...........
...........if anyone else in that room noticed .....
they didnt bat an eyelid.........
........he has a field day...........
meeting ends......i usher everyone out........
need to prepare my notes for the next meeting......
he hesitates at the door........
come back after the meeting-i say.......
Does it matter i am 5 years older??????..........
i figured dude needs to practice......
I needed to freshen up.......
......my ex was in the building......
i had bigger fish to fry............**wink**
ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!
At a local college dance, a guy from America
asked the girl from Sweden to dance.
While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze,
and says, “In America, we call this a hug.”
She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too.”
A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek,
and says, “In America, we call this a kiss.”
She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too.”
Toward the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later,
he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to
have sex with her, and says,
“In America, we call this a grass sandwich.”
She says, “Yaaah in Sveden,
we call it a grass sandwich too,
but we usually put more meat in it.”
Three women were sitting around talking
about their sex lives.
The first said, “I think my husband’s like
a championship golfer. He’s spent the last ten
years perfecting his stroke.”
The second woman said, “My husband’s like the
winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into
bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps.”
The third woman was silent until she was asked,
“Tell us about your husband.”
She thought for a moment and said,
“My husband’s like an Olympic sprinter.”
“How so?”
“He’s got his time down to under 11 seconds.”
Sunday, August 17, 2008
IRATE IBILUV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Went to see my aunt yesterday-decided to
share mi pics with my cousin-my pal was headed my way
to hook up with her phallus so she
was hurrying me up.....so i let my cousin have a
field day with my flash............
only pictures abi???
idiot copied all my files
saw her trying to do more than pictures
said she wanted my raunchy file too
didnt mind sharing cos i know all my personal
raunchy pictures are on my laptop which doesnt leave my room
and is passworded berra than fort knox........
BUT i should have monitored the transfer
cos all she did was delete all
my files from my flash......
pictures,documents(personal&work related),blog notes
i wasnt here(blogville) last week so i used the weekend
to write posts enuff for 2 weeks now she has them all.........
annoying thing is she wants me to come get it.......
she is so lucky i live 60mins away......didnt find out
till i was winding down last night-if it wasnt that late
i would have gone right back to hers......
whatever happened to her sending it all back via mail?????
she has come up with every stupid reason imaginable
why she cant send it back via mail*&&^%$£%^**
she must have been born stupid cos all she had to do
if she wanted to snoop was copy
not delete from my flash...........
i would have been none the wiser she had all my info...............
........the secretive idiot-she never spills-but likes
to hear it all-i am a chatterbox-so i've learnt-staying
away from people keeps me from spilling-if i dont get my files
via mail by COB today MONDAY the 18th August-i'm leaving work
at the dot of 5pm(dont care what my boss says) and i'll head to
hers-idiot has papers in school(MBA)tues so i pray she wont
go reading at some friends place and wont be home.............
even if she aiint home -i'm staying till she surfaces cos
i want to retrieve my files-hopefuly she hasnt deleted
them from her laptop in the bid to send them to me via email...........
.......i'll strip her laptop and flash clean
of all that concerns me-not unless she saves them on her desktop at work
-which will crash(yes o-i have hidden talents)-
nosey parker-all i agreed to share was pics(family and funny stuff)
but idiot took it all-invasion of privacy is what she's done
ps:met Enigma....dark,goodlooking,dimpled,talks nice..........
i'm a sucker for any guy that has all 4 traits but dude IS engaged,i've got *cough* and i didnt agree to hook up
just so i could dig me claws in....a cute laff he says i have
if only he knows only in the prescence
of blokes or when i'm on the phone with a bloke is my laff cute.......)
you need to see me lafffing at oshodi or mushin...
na correct mad laff i dey potray..........lol
catch u all....work willing tom...u people should
pray my cousin has not deleted my files-cos first
no more blogs this week,second-i will be in jail for
killing my cousin(i just might).........all this bcos
she wanted to copy my raunchy picture file......
amebo copied scratch that deleted my files........
I AM MAD.............
STARK RAVING MAD........
FURIOUS...........
IRATE...........
I hate it that she snooped like that......
I am also mad at my pal who because
she wanted to go meet her poro
hurried me up so i didnt supervise the transfer
well i was having dinner so i needed to concentrate
on the chicken wing in my hand whilst 'bolo'
was having a field day with my flash and cocksucker
was blaring her horn.............
both of them i have no love for this minute.......
work had berra be an improvement-i need some cheering up.........
else...i'm gonna be snapping off heads today........
boss inclusive.........
i'm also mad cos poro loving friend got sum
while i didnt and never lacking poro cousin has all my files............
i cant sleep.....its 2:45am and i have to be up at 4:30am
poro loving pal is picking me up at 5:30....
headed to work together we are(her poro is driving).........
3rd mainland brouhaha...........i'm falling promptly
asleep soon as i get into the car.....i dont wanna hear
any mush mush in my ears all the way from my hood to cms
..........let him be my 'driver' tomorrow morning.......
mad is what i am(thats y i cant sleep)
raving...........mad hatter MAD!&^%!%$%^&^%
replies to the comments on my previous post dey among deleted flash documents....might retrieve them by tomorrow or put up new ones......
eventually only got an hour of sleep
ina berra mood this morning.......
poro loving pal and her phallus didnt pick me up.....
suits me fyne..........
i'm in a berra mood this morn.......love my peeps at work
moreover i'm thankful to BABA LOKE He has given me anoda day!!!!!!!!!
later u all!!!!!!!!!!!!!
share mi pics with my cousin-my pal was headed my way
to hook up with her phallus so she
was hurrying me up.....so i let my cousin have a
field day with my flash............
only pictures abi???
idiot copied all my files
saw her trying to do more than pictures
said she wanted my raunchy file too
didnt mind sharing cos i know all my personal
raunchy pictures are on my laptop which doesnt leave my room
and is passworded berra than fort knox........
BUT i should have monitored the transfer
cos all she did was delete all
my files from my flash......
pictures,documents(personal&work related),blog notes
i wasnt here(blogville) last week so i used the weekend
to write posts enuff for 2 weeks now she has them all.........
annoying thing is she wants me to come get it.......
she is so lucky i live 60mins away......didnt find out
till i was winding down last night-if it wasnt that late
i would have gone right back to hers......
whatever happened to her sending it all back via mail?????
she has come up with every stupid reason imaginable
why she cant send it back via mail*&&^%$£%^**
she must have been born stupid cos all she had to do
if she wanted to snoop was copy
not delete from my flash...........
i would have been none the wiser she had all my info...............
........the secretive idiot-she never spills-but likes
to hear it all-i am a chatterbox-so i've learnt-staying
away from people keeps me from spilling-if i dont get my files
via mail by COB today MONDAY the 18th August-i'm leaving work
at the dot of 5pm(dont care what my boss says) and i'll head to
hers-idiot has papers in school(MBA)tues so i pray she wont
go reading at some friends place and wont be home.............
even if she aiint home -i'm staying till she surfaces cos
i want to retrieve my files-hopefuly she hasnt deleted
them from her laptop in the bid to send them to me via email...........
.......i'll strip her laptop and flash clean
of all that concerns me-not unless she saves them on her desktop at work
-which will crash(yes o-i have hidden talents)-
nosey parker-all i agreed to share was pics(family and funny stuff)
but idiot took it all-invasion of privacy is what she's done
ps:met Enigma....dark,goodlooking,dimpled,talks nice..........
i'm a sucker for any guy that has all 4 traits but dude IS engaged,i've got *cough* and i didnt agree to hook up
just so i could dig me claws in....a cute laff he says i have
if only he knows only in the prescence
of blokes or when i'm on the phone with a bloke is my laff cute.......)
you need to see me lafffing at oshodi or mushin...
na correct mad laff i dey potray..........lol
catch u all....work willing tom...u people should
pray my cousin has not deleted my files-cos first
no more blogs this week,second-i will be in jail for
killing my cousin(i just might).........all this bcos
she wanted to copy my raunchy picture file......
amebo copied scratch that deleted my files........
I AM MAD.............
STARK RAVING MAD........
FURIOUS...........
IRATE...........
I hate it that she snooped like that......
I am also mad at my pal who because
she wanted to go meet her poro
hurried me up so i didnt supervise the transfer
well i was having dinner so i needed to concentrate
on the chicken wing in my hand whilst 'bolo'
was having a field day with my flash and cocksucker
was blaring her horn.............
both of them i have no love for this minute.......
work had berra be an improvement-i need some cheering up.........
else...i'm gonna be snapping off heads today........
boss inclusive.........
i'm also mad cos poro loving friend got sum
while i didnt and never lacking poro cousin has all my files............
i cant sleep.....its 2:45am and i have to be up at 4:30am
poro loving pal is picking me up at 5:30....
headed to work together we are(her poro is driving).........
3rd mainland brouhaha...........i'm falling promptly
asleep soon as i get into the car.....i dont wanna hear
any mush mush in my ears all the way from my hood to cms
..........let him be my 'driver' tomorrow morning.......
mad is what i am(thats y i cant sleep)
raving...........mad hatter MAD!&^%!%$%^&^%
replies to the comments on my previous post dey among deleted flash documents....might retrieve them by tomorrow or put up new ones......
eventually only got an hour of sleep
ina berra mood this morning.......
poro loving pal and her phallus didnt pick me up.....
suits me fyne..........
i'm in a berra mood this morn.......love my peeps at work
moreover i'm thankful to BABA LOKE He has given me anoda day!!!!!!!!!
later u all!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, August 8, 2008
Liquor2
next day-i slept the whole day............
the alcohol in me and i do love sleep........
got to school day after the next and scolded T&H....
they aplogise and said they thought boffing him would come easy.......
the cretins knew*&^%$£.......
i let it slide.......later that night i am home
and T comes over,he says H wants to see me.........
i said i was tired and needed to chill but he persuaded me
and i went with him..........
first to see H....nurrin serious...had dinner.....
laffs,he was supposed to walk me home...
i wan pop in to see someone he says.........
another bar.........
i suppose just waka go my home abi?..........
no...........
na so i siddon follow drink another 4.........
during the 4th(did i mention that shit is bitter?????
it did nurrin for me-y i was plying meself with
drink i have no idea.......
did i get high????
i dunno, i do know T and i left the bar and headed
to Down-G........
with my 4th bottle in hand......
we strolled thru the dark night.......
must have been about 2am....
went into this ashi joint.........
see a few guys from school......
i'm feeling aiight-extra confident........
no one can touch me.........
this dude from my class A goes up to T and whispers to him
.....abeg una for tell me say as i b babe and i dey ashi joint
dem fit join me with those whey dey *sell*.........
T seems humbled by whatever A said and we leave the ashi joint
and go hook up with this other dudes.........na outside we go o..........
i am still with my bottle....this dudes were leering......
they were not students but grown ass men.....
they bought me suya.....and na so my eye clear.....
dey bought me my fifth small bottle......
a little over an hr later...i'm drowsy......
everyone around me is either gone or asleep......
i am eyeing a free spot on a bench to lie on when L steps up to me.......
L's been wanting to date me since forever.....
he and i chat for a few mins and he goes he's headed home
and i said bye.......
he says i look drowsy,i say i am........
Ibi where are you gonna sleep????
once again na so my eye clear o.....
if i venture out to mine alone.....i may get hit by a
bus scratch that a *daf* or killed by
indigenes or students(i fit disrupt their meeting).........
if i sleep dia..... a few feet away from an ashi joint
and i get solicited and i say no.....
bye bye to innocence the harsh way........
L says come home with me-thing is L stays a few
houses away from boyf........
L is a berra option so i go home with L,get to his......
lay side by side...i'm cold and all liquored up
but i get to sleep like a baby...........
he's a gentleman.....he doesnt even ask for a kiss......
2hrs sleep and its 6am.........i get up,say my thanks
and take a cab home..........
its not a school day......nobody find me sef.....
mi cuz goes sebi na T i follow go.........
they are having breakfast and i'm famished....
went into shock.....i do when my blood sugar level drops.......
mi cuz rustles up a meal.....i wolf it down and it
all comes back up..........they laff at me......
they knew i must have gotten stuffed with alcohol.....
u cant hang out wit a dog and not eat shit they said.......
i drink some tea....it stays down...i take a shower
close the windows and sleep for 8hours.........
i wake up and who do i see...........
boyf......
from the look in his eyes i knew it...he had heard it all.........
i had a lot of explaining to do.....
have a luvly weekend y'all!!!!!!!!!
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an
afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23.
The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was
that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride
was a healthy, vivacious young woman.
But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down
the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto
the banister for dear life.
She finally managed to get to the counter of the
little shop in the hotel.
The clerk looked really concerned,
“Whatever happened to you, honey?
You look like you’ve been wrestling an alligator!”
The bride groaned, hung on to the counter
and managed to speak,
“Oh God! When he told me he’d been saving up for 75 years,
I thought he meant his money!!”
Tim and Joe finished their weekly round of golf
with Tim pulling out his typical victory, although
not by the customary wide margin.
Even though the match was unusually close,
Joe seemed more upset than usual by the outcome.
“Talk about the worst luck in the world,” grumbled Joe
as they headed into the locker room.
“I just can’t seem to buy a darn break.”
“Why are you being so hard on yourself?” asked Tim.
"You played great all week. Heck, you almost won.”
“That’s what’s so aggravating,” yelled Joe.
“I cheated like crazy and I still lost!”
A salesman decided to become a policeman.
Several months later, a friend asked him how
he liked his new job.
"Well," he replied, "The pay isn't great and
the hours are long, but one thing I really
like is that the customer is always wrong!"
the alcohol in me and i do love sleep........
got to school day after the next and scolded T&H....
they aplogise and said they thought boffing him would come easy.......
the cretins knew*&^%$£.......
i let it slide.......later that night i am home
and T comes over,he says H wants to see me.........
i said i was tired and needed to chill but he persuaded me
and i went with him..........
first to see H....nurrin serious...had dinner.....
laffs,he was supposed to walk me home...
i wan pop in to see someone he says.........
another bar.........
i suppose just waka go my home abi?..........
no...........
na so i siddon follow drink another 4.........
during the 4th(did i mention that shit is bitter?????
it did nurrin for me-y i was plying meself with
drink i have no idea.......
did i get high????
i dunno, i do know T and i left the bar and headed
to Down-G........
with my 4th bottle in hand......
we strolled thru the dark night.......
must have been about 2am....
went into this ashi joint.........
see a few guys from school......
i'm feeling aiight-extra confident........
no one can touch me.........
this dude from my class A goes up to T and whispers to him
.....abeg una for tell me say as i b babe and i dey ashi joint
dem fit join me with those whey dey *sell*.........
T seems humbled by whatever A said and we leave the ashi joint
and go hook up with this other dudes.........na outside we go o..........
i am still with my bottle....this dudes were leering......
they were not students but grown ass men.....
they bought me suya.....and na so my eye clear.....
dey bought me my fifth small bottle......
a little over an hr later...i'm drowsy......
everyone around me is either gone or asleep......
i am eyeing a free spot on a bench to lie on when L steps up to me.......
L's been wanting to date me since forever.....
he and i chat for a few mins and he goes he's headed home
and i said bye.......
he says i look drowsy,i say i am........
Ibi where are you gonna sleep????
once again na so my eye clear o.....
if i venture out to mine alone.....i may get hit by a
bus scratch that a *daf* or killed by
indigenes or students(i fit disrupt their meeting).........
if i sleep dia..... a few feet away from an ashi joint
and i get solicited and i say no.....
bye bye to innocence the harsh way........
L says come home with me-thing is L stays a few
houses away from boyf........
L is a berra option so i go home with L,get to his......
lay side by side...i'm cold and all liquored up
but i get to sleep like a baby...........
he's a gentleman.....he doesnt even ask for a kiss......
2hrs sleep and its 6am.........i get up,say my thanks
and take a cab home..........
its not a school day......nobody find me sef.....
mi cuz goes sebi na T i follow go.........
they are having breakfast and i'm famished....
went into shock.....i do when my blood sugar level drops.......
mi cuz rustles up a meal.....i wolf it down and it
all comes back up..........they laff at me......
they knew i must have gotten stuffed with alcohol.....
u cant hang out wit a dog and not eat shit they said.......
i drink some tea....it stays down...i take a shower
close the windows and sleep for 8hours.........
i wake up and who do i see...........
boyf......
from the look in his eyes i knew it...he had heard it all.........
i had a lot of explaining to do.....
have a luvly weekend y'all!!!!!!!!!
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an
afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23.
The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was
that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride
was a healthy, vivacious young woman.
But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down
the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto
the banister for dear life.
She finally managed to get to the counter of the
little shop in the hotel.
The clerk looked really concerned,
“Whatever happened to you, honey?
You look like you’ve been wrestling an alligator!”
The bride groaned, hung on to the counter
and managed to speak,
“Oh God! When he told me he’d been saving up for 75 years,
I thought he meant his money!!”
Tim and Joe finished their weekly round of golf
with Tim pulling out his typical victory, although
not by the customary wide margin.
Even though the match was unusually close,
Joe seemed more upset than usual by the outcome.
“Talk about the worst luck in the world,” grumbled Joe
as they headed into the locker room.
“I just can’t seem to buy a darn break.”
“Why are you being so hard on yourself?” asked Tim.
"You played great all week. Heck, you almost won.”
“That’s what’s so aggravating,” yelled Joe.
“I cheated like crazy and I still lost!”
A salesman decided to become a policeman.
Several months later, a friend asked him how
he liked his new job.
"Well," he replied, "The pay isn't great and
the hours are long, but one thing I really
like is that the customer is always wrong!"
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Do u know me???????
How well does one truly know another person?
TRULY KNOW?
there are secret parts to all of us
parts we dont always know well ourselves
ENJOY
Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole for what seemed like forever.
He’d waggle, look down, look up, but never start his back swing.
Finally David, his playing partner, asked,
“Why on Earth are you taking so long to make this shot?”
“My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse,
and I want to make this shot a good one,” said Bob.
“Good Lord,” said David,
“You haven’t got a chance of hitting her from here.”
BACK ON FRI WITH LIQUOR 2
mwah.......
TRULY KNOW?
there are secret parts to all of us
parts we dont always know well ourselves
ENJOY
Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole for what seemed like forever.
He’d waggle, look down, look up, but never start his back swing.
Finally David, his playing partner, asked,
“Why on Earth are you taking so long to make this shot?”
“My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse,
and I want to make this shot a good one,” said Bob.
“Good Lord,” said David,
“You haven’t got a chance of hitting her from here.”
BACK ON FRI WITH LIQUOR 2
mwah.......
Monday, August 4, 2008
LIQUOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Liquor
my cuz&her boo were at mine over the weekend.....
he decided to get tipsy and finished a bottle of red wine
he wasnt drunk (so he said)me thinks he was tipsy at least
........cos he wasnt steady on his feet and he was
basket mouthing......
Mi Pa also does that,he takes a few bottles of
star&or wine and basketmouths......
always hated it......still hate it
what liquor makes u do or does to u
.....i've tried it.....why and how do people basketmouth????
t'was the end of my first yr in Uni-guy i was dating
was outta town-classmate of mine(lets calls her H)
had a permanent basket mouth for a boyfriend(lets call him T)
the guy was high 24hrs a day-he was also into *stupid ish*........
so i got bad grades-was looking for a way out-someone should
have told me all i needed to do was retake those exams...
no....i was told all i needed to do was see sum dude...
so we go see him(I,T&H) and he says see me after school(alone)....
(i should have suspected shey???
i did but i wanted to see this thru...
i go after school and he says we need to get to sum dude's place....
i was just looking for a way outta telling mum i failed 2 courses o
he goes to a bar....takes a few bottles.....
stout...persuades me to take a few...
(i remember i used to take a few sips of mi Pa's pink lady at age 9
.......i could probably control my alcohol...so i end up taking
2small bottles(i stupid abi)...i know......
we head out...........only to go to another bar...
shouldnt i have know this was not normal???
he took a few more...i took two more small bottles
....(i be champion......4small stout bottles=2big stout bottles)...
then we head on to dudes place......turned out to be his home....
i follow am reach dia....sparsely furnished room...i am tired and
starting to think mi glasses are getting weak...so dude says be comfortable
...i sit on his bed...the only available piece of furniture....
he then proceeds to touch me...i swear every ounce of liquour
.....zapped out of my system....i told him in the calmest voice i could muster
IF YOU TOUCH ME........I WILL WOOZE YOU!!!!!!!!......
he says but they(H&T) said u have a boyfriend......
so what if i have????even if i was boffing my boyf
must i boff u too?(i really wasnt boffing boyf then)
now i see why we had to get high....i thought we were going to see
sum dude who was gonna help with my scores.....
thingy was.....a script was suppossed to surface like an assignment
someone forgot to add up to my final score sheet.........
well i aiint that high......when u get to school tom....pls fail me in the other courses..........i walked out,got a cab to my hostel
and sleep the liquor away......
i learnt my lesson.....
apparently not........
wait till u read part two......
my cuz&her boo were at mine over the weekend.....
he decided to get tipsy and finished a bottle of red wine
he wasnt drunk (so he said)me thinks he was tipsy at least
........cos he wasnt steady on his feet and he was
basket mouthing......
Mi Pa also does that,he takes a few bottles of
star&or wine and basketmouths......
always hated it......still hate it
what liquor makes u do or does to u
.....i've tried it.....why and how do people basketmouth????
t'was the end of my first yr in Uni-guy i was dating
was outta town-classmate of mine(lets calls her H)
had a permanent basket mouth for a boyfriend(lets call him T)
the guy was high 24hrs a day-he was also into *stupid ish*........
so i got bad grades-was looking for a way out-someone should
have told me all i needed to do was retake those exams...
no....i was told all i needed to do was see sum dude...
so we go see him(I,T&H) and he says see me after school(alone)....
(i should have suspected shey???
i did but i wanted to see this thru...
i go after school and he says we need to get to sum dude's place....
i was just looking for a way outta telling mum i failed 2 courses o
he goes to a bar....takes a few bottles.....
stout...persuades me to take a few...
(i remember i used to take a few sips of mi Pa's pink lady at age 9
.......i could probably control my alcohol...so i end up taking
2small bottles(i stupid abi)...i know......
we head out...........only to go to another bar...
shouldnt i have know this was not normal???
he took a few more...i took two more small bottles
....(i be champion......4small stout bottles=2big stout bottles)...
then we head on to dudes place......turned out to be his home....
i follow am reach dia....sparsely furnished room...i am tired and
starting to think mi glasses are getting weak...so dude says be comfortable
...i sit on his bed...the only available piece of furniture....
he then proceeds to touch me...i swear every ounce of liquour
.....zapped out of my system....i told him in the calmest voice i could muster
IF YOU TOUCH ME........I WILL WOOZE YOU!!!!!!!!......
he says but they(H&T) said u have a boyfriend......
so what if i have????even if i was boffing my boyf
must i boff u too?(i really wasnt boffing boyf then)
now i see why we had to get high....i thought we were going to see
sum dude who was gonna help with my scores.....
thingy was.....a script was suppossed to surface like an assignment
someone forgot to add up to my final score sheet.........
well i aiint that high......when u get to school tom....pls fail me in the other courses..........i walked out,got a cab to my hostel
and sleep the liquor away......
i learnt my lesson.....
apparently not........
wait till u read part two......
Friday, August 1, 2008
Second post!!!!!!!!!
Its morning....i am awake...........my fone rings
cousin says meet up with me at her designers.....for a fitting
she was getting married 3weeks later......
i am chilling-next thing i know...........sum dude steps in
at first i am like.....ok
T's flatmate probably..........
well seeing T has someone in his bed.....dude will notice....and walk out........
shuo...
he moves closer to the bed so i raise mi head and go hi-u want anything....
he didnt apologise for the intrusion
he just leaves&^%%$#@*(&%
......T wakes up a while later and lights up....i am sure as hell never gonna
get used to this ish.........
so i tell him what his flatmate did........
he says oh....he is a doc......
i am thinking what the fuck*&^%$^$
so what if he is a medical doc
does that give him the right to walk in and check my organs??????
maybe he would have if i was fast asleep
docs can be perverts though
T waves it off.........
i am fuming..........tell him off and he just keeps blowing out clouds of smoke at me
its not like i expected him to go beat up the dude
but is it just me-or when ur flatmate has someone over......u give a wide berth
and if the babe u just shagged kicks her heels in about stuff
even if u aiint gonna do shit-u make it seem like u will
got up.......i needed to get to the designers anyways
took a shower all the tyme watching out for *a doc*
T drops me off at the designers and apologises asked to see the finished
product of the outfit...........
i said ok
just maybe u will get to see a pic
and as i waved him off
i just knew.......
he is never gonna get a whiff of this anymore...........
after all......the earth didnt stand still
water was lukewarm.........neither HOT nor COLD.........
Jokes!!!!!!!!!!!
An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would
like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient
man and asks how old he is.
“I’m 90 years old,” he says.
“Ninety!” replies the woman. “Don’t you realize you’ve had it?”
“Oh, sorry,” says the old man, “how much do I owe you?”
A dimwitted blonde bombshell walks into an airplane and sits in the
first-class section. Upon sitting down a stewardess asks to see her
boarding pass and informs her that she only has a coach ticket.
The blonde says, “I’m a cute looking blonde and I’m flying first class.”
The stewardess replies that she only has a coach seat to Atlanta. The
blonde then retorts, “I’m a cute blonde and I’m flying first class.”
Just then the captain happened by and asked what was happening. The
blonde tells him, “I’m a cute blonde and I’m flying first class to
Atlanta.”
The captain thinks about it for a moment and whispers something in her
ear. The blonde immediately gets up and jumps into a seat in the coach
cabin.
Puzzled, the stewardess asks the captain what he said to get her to move
so fast.
”It was simple,” he replied, “I told her that first class isn’t going to
Atlanta.”
A meat counter clerk, who was drunk and had a particularly good day,
proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it.
“That will be $6.35,” he told his female customer.
“That really is a little too small,” said the woman. “Don’t you have
anything larger?”
Hesitating, but thinking fast, the clerk returned the chicken to the
refrigerator, paused a moment, then took it out again. “This one,”
he said faintly, “will be $6.65.”
The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision. “I know what,”
she said, “I’ll take both of them!”
Great Weekend to u all..........MWAH........
cousin says meet up with me at her designers.....for a fitting
she was getting married 3weeks later......
i am chilling-next thing i know...........sum dude steps in
at first i am like.....ok
T's flatmate probably..........
well seeing T has someone in his bed.....dude will notice....and walk out........
shuo...
he moves closer to the bed so i raise mi head and go hi-u want anything....
he didnt apologise for the intrusion
he just leaves&^%%$#@*(&%
......T wakes up a while later and lights up....i am sure as hell never gonna
get used to this ish.........
so i tell him what his flatmate did........
he says oh....he is a doc......
i am thinking what the fuck*&^%$^$
so what if he is a medical doc
does that give him the right to walk in and check my organs??????
maybe he would have if i was fast asleep
docs can be perverts though
T waves it off.........
i am fuming..........tell him off and he just keeps blowing out clouds of smoke at me
its not like i expected him to go beat up the dude
but is it just me-or when ur flatmate has someone over......u give a wide berth
and if the babe u just shagged kicks her heels in about stuff
even if u aiint gonna do shit-u make it seem like u will
got up.......i needed to get to the designers anyways
took a shower all the tyme watching out for *a doc*
T drops me off at the designers and apologises asked to see the finished
product of the outfit...........
i said ok
just maybe u will get to see a pic
and as i waved him off
i just knew.......
he is never gonna get a whiff of this anymore...........
after all......the earth didnt stand still
water was lukewarm.........neither HOT nor COLD.........
Jokes!!!!!!!!!!!
An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would
like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient
man and asks how old he is.
“I’m 90 years old,” he says.
“Ninety!” replies the woman. “Don’t you realize you’ve had it?”
“Oh, sorry,” says the old man, “how much do I owe you?”
A dimwitted blonde bombshell walks into an airplane and sits in the
first-class section. Upon sitting down a stewardess asks to see her
boarding pass and informs her that she only has a coach ticket.
The blonde says, “I’m a cute looking blonde and I’m flying first class.”
The stewardess replies that she only has a coach seat to Atlanta. The
blonde then retorts, “I’m a cute blonde and I’m flying first class.”
Just then the captain happened by and asked what was happening. The
blonde tells him, “I’m a cute blonde and I’m flying first class to
Atlanta.”
The captain thinks about it for a moment and whispers something in her
ear. The blonde immediately gets up and jumps into a seat in the coach
cabin.
Puzzled, the stewardess asks the captain what he said to get her to move
so fast.
”It was simple,” he replied, “I told her that first class isn’t going to
Atlanta.”
A meat counter clerk, who was drunk and had a particularly good day,
proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it.
“That will be $6.35,” he told his female customer.
“That really is a little too small,” said the woman. “Don’t you have
anything larger?”
Hesitating, but thinking fast, the clerk returned the chicken to the
refrigerator, paused a moment, then took it out again. “This one,”
he said faintly, “will be $6.65.”
The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision. “I know what,”
she said, “I’ll take both of them!”
Great Weekend to u all..........MWAH........
Tease II.............
Forgive me peeps,work's been mad......but today is fri........
I could never do what bumight is doing-put meself out like that-i have this crazy
habit of being honest......
its bad enuff that i spill here about stuff i shouldn't be telling u all(lol).....
but thats stuff i wanna share but bumight takes the prize.......*shaking in my heels*.....
So T(Guy in tease).........we had this great companionship and after a while
he asked that we become *an item*.........
so i am thinking.....yea i like thee....but a guy who smokes,drinks,gets
high,still affiliates with sum *stupid ish* he did in sch....was not my idea of a
guy i could end up falling in love with.......(when u start to go steady-this
happens......no?......well sometymes.....
I always said us being an item wasnt gonna happen......he must have really liked
me or he just really wanted to tap that ass cos he kept at it.......
.........we would hook up regularly as friends......sometimes we would get up to all sorts......except penetration........i would help him get off though.....*wink*.....for me foreplay was the coolest ish...once i could get off....
i saw no need to have coitus.....
also dude has the longest phallus I had ever seen(then)....i plead the fifth-thou shall not ask me(a lady) how many had i seen then or now for that matter......just trust me when i say-even then i had seen quite a few........*wink*.......
.....truth be told-i was kinda scared........
6 months later-many make up sessions,dry humps,blowjobs,finger fucks,nipple and
boob massaging,licking,groping,suckjobs later-i was still afraid of taking *him* in.......
then it happened
I WAS MAD HORNY.........
fortunately or unfortunately-he called on that fateful day and asked that we hook
up-i came up with sum bullshit excuse cos i knew-i wasnt gonna stop at foreplay...
..but i did think to pull an all nighter at his-then jettisioned the idea.....not cos i wanted to be banged all night but cos after a good session(no?) i get to cuddle up to someone-i've never owned teddies-what can they do for me?????
next thing i know -flatmate's guy lands -so we reach a compromise-u guys can do
it anyhow,anywhere till noon tom...just drive me to T's........
guy is elated...doesnt even bat an eyelid-an hours drive at 930pm-they decide
they will drop me off,hang out sumplace then head back to mine.........
so i call T -i am coming over.........-90points-i had to pay my cab fare(so
what??????he didnt know i got dropped off by flatmates dude)-i was still a corper then-he did say he was gonna refund it-he did +50points...only the exact amount -190points
got fired up to receive all 9inches of him?no?..............he asked me what i was expecting after seeing how tall he is..............
na so i shake teh fear comot......una whey don born-abeg sebi pickin head big pass
phallus????even if na 9inch sef.........LMAO!!!!!
we talked,he got me dinner-how sweet!!!!!!!
i fiddled with the food....settled down to a movie....+50points-comedy not porn...
its 1130-lets go to bed he says....
foreplay was great......he attempts and i open up........settled in to a rhythm-wasnt bad---then he did the unthinkable....turned me over for a doggy????me????dogggy^%$£^&**&&$$
........hated it-i always felt ashi-ish when i do the doggy(weird i am) dont ask y(me sef i no sabi)-anything else except 'that'.........only allowed him a few thrusts then ......we did other things.....
later we are spent.....i resting in his arms.....we talked,drifted asleep-after
i had made it clear i dont do the doggy---then he goes he loves it-he gets the
deepest penetration-and i am like-how much deeper does a 9 inch individual wanna go.............
A 70-year-old man went to his doctor’s office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow.”
The next day the 70-year-old man reappears at the doctor’s office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explains, “Well, doc, it’s like this: First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing.”
The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?”
The old man replied, “Yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn’t get the darn jar open!”
I could never do what bumight is doing-put meself out like that-i have this crazy
habit of being honest......
its bad enuff that i spill here about stuff i shouldn't be telling u all(lol).....
but thats stuff i wanna share but bumight takes the prize.......*shaking in my heels*.....
So T(Guy in tease).........we had this great companionship and after a while
he asked that we become *an item*.........
so i am thinking.....yea i like thee....but a guy who smokes,drinks,gets
high,still affiliates with sum *stupid ish* he did in sch....was not my idea of a
guy i could end up falling in love with.......(when u start to go steady-this
happens......no?......well sometymes.....
I always said us being an item wasnt gonna happen......he must have really liked
me or he just really wanted to tap that ass cos he kept at it.......
.........we would hook up regularly as friends......sometimes we would get up to all sorts......except penetration........i would help him get off though.....*wink*.....for me foreplay was the coolest ish...once i could get off....
i saw no need to have coitus.....
also dude has the longest phallus I had ever seen(then)....i plead the fifth-thou shall not ask me(a lady) how many had i seen then or now for that matter......just trust me when i say-even then i had seen quite a few........*wink*.......
.....truth be told-i was kinda scared........
6 months later-many make up sessions,dry humps,blowjobs,finger fucks,nipple and
boob massaging,licking,groping,suckjobs later-i was still afraid of taking *him* in.......
then it happened
I WAS MAD HORNY.........
fortunately or unfortunately-he called on that fateful day and asked that we hook
up-i came up with sum bullshit excuse cos i knew-i wasnt gonna stop at foreplay...
..but i did think to pull an all nighter at his-then jettisioned the idea.....not cos i wanted to be banged all night but cos after a good session(no?) i get to cuddle up to someone-i've never owned teddies-what can they do for me?????
next thing i know -flatmate's guy lands -so we reach a compromise-u guys can do
it anyhow,anywhere till noon tom...just drive me to T's........
guy is elated...doesnt even bat an eyelid-an hours drive at 930pm-they decide
they will drop me off,hang out sumplace then head back to mine.........
so i call T -i am coming over.........-90points-i had to pay my cab fare(so
what??????he didnt know i got dropped off by flatmates dude)-i was still a corper then-he did say he was gonna refund it-he did +50points...only the exact amount -190points
got fired up to receive all 9inches of him?no?..............he asked me what i was expecting after seeing how tall he is..............
na so i shake teh fear comot......una whey don born-abeg sebi pickin head big pass
phallus????even if na 9inch sef.........LMAO!!!!!
we talked,he got me dinner-how sweet!!!!!!!
i fiddled with the food....settled down to a movie....+50points-comedy not porn...
its 1130-lets go to bed he says....
foreplay was great......he attempts and i open up........settled in to a rhythm-wasnt bad---then he did the unthinkable....turned me over for a doggy????me????dogggy^%$£^&**&&$$
........hated it-i always felt ashi-ish when i do the doggy(weird i am) dont ask y(me sef i no sabi)-anything else except 'that'.........only allowed him a few thrusts then ......we did other things.....
later we are spent.....i resting in his arms.....we talked,drifted asleep-after
i had made it clear i dont do the doggy---then he goes he loves it-he gets the
deepest penetration-and i am like-how much deeper does a 9 inch individual wanna go.............
A 70-year-old man went to his doctor’s office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow.”
The next day the 70-year-old man reappears at the doctor’s office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explains, “Well, doc, it’s like this: First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing.”
The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?”
The old man replied, “Yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn’t get the darn jar open!”
Friday, July 25, 2008
Its friday again and.....
........i was about to alight
this slim thing decided to shoot out
i blocked her progress and i almost fell
so i started to speak
thought to let it go...
she stopped and said talk now........
i said why did u do that????
she started to rant and i gave her the high five
talk to the hand....
she hisses and says
oh...sef...na
talk to the finger.......
i didnt bother....it just made it clearer to me
she wasnt worth my spit...............
TGIF U ALL
An angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his
breath and lipstick on his collar.
“I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to
come waltzing in here at six o’clock in the morning?”
“There is,” he replied. “Breakfast.”
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,
Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her
95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied,
“He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.”
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years
old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
“Oh no, my dear,” replied Granny. “Many years ago, realizing our advanced
age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells
would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and
even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.”
She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, “And if that damned
ice cream truck hadn’t come along, he’d still be alive today!”
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home
and leaves her, hoping she will be well-cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and
set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She
seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to fall over sideways in
her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her
up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other
side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This
goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her
new home.
“So, Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?” they ask.
“It’s pretty nice,” she replies. “Except they won’t let you fart.”
see u all mon.........
this slim thing decided to shoot out
i blocked her progress and i almost fell
so i started to speak
thought to let it go...
she stopped and said talk now........
i said why did u do that????
she started to rant and i gave her the high five
talk to the hand....
she hisses and says
oh...sef...na
talk to the finger.......
i didnt bother....it just made it clearer to me
she wasnt worth my spit...............
TGIF U ALL
An angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his
breath and lipstick on his collar.
“I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to
come waltzing in here at six o’clock in the morning?”
“There is,” he replied. “Breakfast.”
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,
Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her
95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied,
“He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.”
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years
old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
“Oh no, my dear,” replied Granny. “Many years ago, realizing our advanced
age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells
would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and
even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.”
She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, “And if that damned
ice cream truck hadn’t come along, he’d still be alive today!”
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home
and leaves her, hoping she will be well-cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and
set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She
seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to fall over sideways in
her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her
up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other
side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This
goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her
new home.
“So, Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?” they ask.
“It’s pretty nice,” she replies. “Except they won’t let you fart.”
see u all mon.........
Thursday, July 24, 2008
I was warned..................
So its been raining or drizzling
while i aiint salt
i dont like to get wet,damp or whatever
so i have been taking cabucabu .........
there's this bad patch on the way
its really bad
keeps getting worse
its been know to swallow SUV's
how much more cabucabu that
apapa trailers will blow away..........lol
ps:if u know anyone that owns a picanto
advice that person not to pass tincan,apapa route ooooooo
the car will be blown away
(I hate the vehicle)
it's tiny
any one who knows me knows i like big things
.....*cough*..........*wink*........
oh ok i digress...
so i engage this cabucabu and dude and i agree on 300 naira
......i let him pick other passengers on the way cos
he wanted 500 naira......
journey was smooth
no old papa to harass this tyme....*wink*.....
we get to the bad patch
i pretend to be engrossed in a novel
he GRUMBLES ALL THE WAY
at a point i felt we were gonna topple into the water......
we made it safe across........
then got to my destination
i alighted.....
paid and just as he received his fare he goes
Aunty..ni ojo imi ti e ba ri mi ni garagi wa
ema pemi kin gbe yin wa sibi yi
ona yin yen ko da rara o
mi o le ti tori ise 300 ki lo tun motor se fun 3000
Aunty...next time you get to our garage
dont engage my services to bring you here
i will not fix my car for 3000 naira
just cos of a 300 naira trip
the road is pretty bad
i just dey laff......
he kept shaking his head as he drove away
to face the bad patch again........
that was yesterday
today i swam across in my rain boots
and took a bike the rest of the way
i did see cabs at the garage but i was afraid
i remember baba's threat
i could have been lynched if i had tried
to get a cab cos i know baba must have spread the word
so u see
me sef dey fear small...........sometimes.......
*wink*...........
while i aiint salt
i dont like to get wet,damp or whatever
so i have been taking cabucabu .........
there's this bad patch on the way
its really bad
keeps getting worse
its been know to swallow SUV's
how much more cabucabu that
apapa trailers will blow away..........lol
ps:if u know anyone that owns a picanto
advice that person not to pass tincan,apapa route ooooooo
the car will be blown away
(I hate the vehicle)
it's tiny
any one who knows me knows i like big things
.....*cough*..........*wink*........
oh ok i digress...
so i engage this cabucabu and dude and i agree on 300 naira
......i let him pick other passengers on the way cos
he wanted 500 naira......
journey was smooth
no old papa to harass this tyme....*wink*.....
we get to the bad patch
i pretend to be engrossed in a novel
he GRUMBLES ALL THE WAY
at a point i felt we were gonna topple into the water......
we made it safe across........
then got to my destination
i alighted.....
paid and just as he received his fare he goes
Aunty..ni ojo imi ti e ba ri mi ni garagi wa
ema pemi kin gbe yin wa sibi yi
ona yin yen ko da rara o
mi o le ti tori ise 300 ki lo tun motor se fun 3000
Aunty...next time you get to our garage
dont engage my services to bring you here
i will not fix my car for 3000 naira
just cos of a 300 naira trip
the road is pretty bad
i just dey laff......
he kept shaking his head as he drove away
to face the bad patch again........
that was yesterday
today i swam across in my rain boots
and took a bike the rest of the way
i did see cabs at the garage but i was afraid
i remember baba's threat
i could have been lynched if i had tried
to get a cab cos i know baba must have spread the word
so u see
me sef dey fear small...........sometimes.......
*wink*...........
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Tease............
He glanced across the table at her,she was spooning sorbet into her mouth. A small glob of it clung to her upper lip which she licked it off with the tip of her tongue. He watched her facinated and as he did, he experienced the most extraordinary physical attraction to her..... He was filled wit a fierce desire to make love to her...........
this is an excerpt from a novel........
it reminded me of......
it was www.whisper2u.com.........
my profile name drew his attention.....he buzzed....i responded
.....he was funny......i was doing the nysc thingy then...was looking forward to it ending and me getting a job.....he was with an advert agency(the first ad guy i dated).....i was fascinated with his job......he was the first man to say 'i lie for a living....lieing comes easy to me'...(2nd ad guy also said this to me once).....every ad guy i know......says 'models are good for the job but i dont date them'......'i prefer regular girls'.........
we would makes dates online ....hook up to the net and chat for hours.....3months later we exchanged numbers.....his voice i liked....6months later.....he called....i was just leaving my cousin's......thats really close to where i work-he said,why dont we hook up for lunch...i wasnt keen but he was persistent...so i headed there.....he was good looking(thank God) and tall...*cough*....we sat down...food was great...he was suppossed to head back to work but we were enjoying each other's company.....to prolong the date-he switched off his phone and we decided to have a drink......i was having such a great time......3hours later-i have go i said.... ok he said but give me a few mins to compose meself-i cant get up....i asked 'y'.....he asked if i really wanted to know...yes i said cos i couldnt understand this sudden need to sit tight and not get up....he pushed back his seat...i saw it...a lovely woody...i was stunned...i did dat i asked??...yea he said...when i asked?.....while u were eating he said..he said the idea of a drink was to give him tyme but whilst we drank and talked...it ony got worse.....i laughed.....secretly pleased...I...MOI...gave a guy i just met a woody just by spooning rice into my mouth&talking(not like i dont know what me voice can do to a man sometymes....*wink*)...what was it exactly i asked...ur eyes...mouth and voice he said...(my head swell).......
we agreed i should give him a few minutes to compose himself so i took a walk to look around...he met up with me and we headed...i was gonna take a cab home he insisted lets head to his place..i knew he only wanted me to pay for the woody......i said i needed to get a million things done.....he gave me this puppy dog look and i obliged him....company was good...flat was ok...he put on a movie...points for him it wasnt porn....we talked...he asked to kiss me......awwwwwwwwww i thought...he did......
i didnt particularly enjoy the kiss cos he was going too fast..i tod him so..he slowed down the tempo...i liked what his hands were doing to me.....i got up to pee and to make sure i was 'clean' incase his pink muscle was gonna say hi to my clit(i noticed he went into his room-to prepare the slaughter slab i am sure).......went back to the living room....making up was slow then fast and furious......i was loving it...he picked me up-he didnt halt the kiss(points for that)...next thing i know i was against cool sheets....he stripped me slowly....we touched,licked groped,sucked....his fingers down there was bliss......then the pink muscle....'sigh'.....t'was.....t'was.....t'was.....then....i saw bright lights......i felt goooooodddddd....decided to return the favour....stripped him but left his briefs on........
....i touched,groped,licked,sucked everywhere except his shaft......he was squirming.....then......i got up to pee(i'm sure he was like what kinda wickedness is this*&^%$£)....cleaned me self up....went back in.....started to dress up....what are u doing he said...i'm sorry.....its late i need to get home-it's 8pm already.....are u just gonna let me hang he asked...i'm sorry i said...i agreed to lunch..i didnt sign up for a great fuck...maybe some other tyme i said...he got up noticed i was dead serious then went to get himself off...met me in the living room a while later...told him not to bother about dropping me off....we found a cab....i got a passionate good bye kiss.....get her home safe he said...cab driver cooed all the way to me home about how lucky i am and how much my husband must love me......i had this huge smile on me face.......called when i got home and he said...now i like u more.....i was soooooooooo sure i was gonna get some tonight...he said he couldnt phantom not tapping that booty........
but i could have raped you you know...i said the thought didnt cross my mind....u know what ibi...next tyme i catch u...u wont get away so easy..........that was the whole idea though...keep him guessing.....so he comes back for more.....*wink*.....
this is an excerpt from a novel........
it reminded me of......
it was www.whisper2u.com.........
my profile name drew his attention.....he buzzed....i responded
.....he was funny......i was doing the nysc thingy then...was looking forward to it ending and me getting a job.....he was with an advert agency(the first ad guy i dated).....i was fascinated with his job......he was the first man to say 'i lie for a living....lieing comes easy to me'...(2nd ad guy also said this to me once).....every ad guy i know......says 'models are good for the job but i dont date them'......'i prefer regular girls'.........
we would makes dates online ....hook up to the net and chat for hours.....3months later we exchanged numbers.....his voice i liked....6months later.....he called....i was just leaving my cousin's......thats really close to where i work-he said,why dont we hook up for lunch...i wasnt keen but he was persistent...so i headed there.....he was good looking(thank God) and tall...*cough*....we sat down...food was great...he was suppossed to head back to work but we were enjoying each other's company.....to prolong the date-he switched off his phone and we decided to have a drink......i was having such a great time......3hours later-i have go i said.... ok he said but give me a few mins to compose meself-i cant get up....i asked 'y'.....he asked if i really wanted to know...yes i said cos i couldnt understand this sudden need to sit tight and not get up....he pushed back his seat...i saw it...a lovely woody...i was stunned...i did dat i asked??...yea he said...when i asked?.....while u were eating he said..he said the idea of a drink was to give him tyme but whilst we drank and talked...it ony got worse.....i laughed.....secretly pleased...I...MOI...gave a guy i just met a woody just by spooning rice into my mouth&talking(not like i dont know what me voice can do to a man sometymes....*wink*)...what was it exactly i asked...ur eyes...mouth and voice he said...(my head swell).......
we agreed i should give him a few minutes to compose himself so i took a walk to look around...he met up with me and we headed...i was gonna take a cab home he insisted lets head to his place..i knew he only wanted me to pay for the woody......i said i needed to get a million things done.....he gave me this puppy dog look and i obliged him....company was good...flat was ok...he put on a movie...points for him it wasnt porn....we talked...he asked to kiss me......awwwwwwwwww i thought...he did......
i didnt particularly enjoy the kiss cos he was going too fast..i tod him so..he slowed down the tempo...i liked what his hands were doing to me.....i got up to pee and to make sure i was 'clean' incase his pink muscle was gonna say hi to my clit(i noticed he went into his room-to prepare the slaughter slab i am sure).......went back to the living room....making up was slow then fast and furious......i was loving it...he picked me up-he didnt halt the kiss(points for that)...next thing i know i was against cool sheets....he stripped me slowly....we touched,licked groped,sucked....his fingers down there was bliss......then the pink muscle....'sigh'.....t'was.....t'was.....t'was.....then....i saw bright lights......i felt goooooodddddd....decided to return the favour....stripped him but left his briefs on........
....i touched,groped,licked,sucked everywhere except his shaft......he was squirming.....then......i got up to pee(i'm sure he was like what kinda wickedness is this*&^%$£)....cleaned me self up....went back in.....started to dress up....what are u doing he said...i'm sorry.....its late i need to get home-it's 8pm already.....are u just gonna let me hang he asked...i'm sorry i said...i agreed to lunch..i didnt sign up for a great fuck...maybe some other tyme i said...he got up noticed i was dead serious then went to get himself off...met me in the living room a while later...told him not to bother about dropping me off....we found a cab....i got a passionate good bye kiss.....get her home safe he said...cab driver cooed all the way to me home about how lucky i am and how much my husband must love me......i had this huge smile on me face.......called when i got home and he said...now i like u more.....i was soooooooooo sure i was gonna get some tonight...he said he couldnt phantom not tapping that booty........
but i could have raped you you know...i said the thought didnt cross my mind....u know what ibi...next tyme i catch u...u wont get away so easy..........that was the whole idea though...keep him guessing.....so he comes back for more.....*wink*.....
Friday, July 18, 2008
FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i've got nurring much to say
my itch is still dia
my crystal ball still hasnt come up with a face
it looks like i aiint getting any
i will survive this drought
going celibate is not an option
ignoring the itch hardly helps
lately i've been admiring this good looking brother
that works in a differnt branch of my firm-its not
like i need him to scratch my itch....
i just like watching him walk.....*sigh*..the swagger
well Enigma....this is for you.....
A chicken and egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette
with a satisfied smile on its face, while the egg is frowning and
looking slightly annoyed. The chicken turns over on its side and mutters,
"Well, I guess that solves that debate."
Jack decides to go skiing with his buddy Bob. They load up Jack's
station wagon and head north. After driving for a few hours, they get
caught in a terrible blizzard. They pull into a nearby farmhouse and
ask the attractive lady of the house if they can spend the night.
"I'm recently widowed," she explains, "and I'm afraid the neighbors
will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Not to worry," Jack says, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."
Nine months later, Jack gets a letter from the widow's attorney. He
calls up his friend Bob and says, "Bob, do you remember that
good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?"
"Yes, I do," Bob says.
"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the
house and have sex with her?" Jack asks.
"Yes, I have to admit that I did," Bob says.
"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?" Jack
asks.
Bob's face turns red and he says, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."
"Well, thanks a lot, pal…” Jack says. “She just died and left me her
farm."
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, ready to consummate
their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession
to make, I’m not a virgin.”
The husband replies, “That’s not a big deal in this day and age.”
The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.”
“Oh yeah? Who was the guy?”
“Tiger Woods.”
“Tiger Woods, the golfer?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed
with him.”
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
“What are you doing?” asks the wife.
The husband says, “I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and get
something to eat.”
“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”
“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”
“He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make
love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. “Now what are
you doing?” she asks.
The husband says, “I’m still hungry so I was going to get room service
to get something to eat.”
“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”
“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”
“He’d come back to bed and do it again.”
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more
time.
When they finish he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone
and starts to dial.
The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?”
“No! I’m calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn
hole.”
my itch is still dia
my crystal ball still hasnt come up with a face
it looks like i aiint getting any
i will survive this drought
going celibate is not an option
ignoring the itch hardly helps
lately i've been admiring this good looking brother
that works in a differnt branch of my firm-its not
like i need him to scratch my itch....
i just like watching him walk.....*sigh*..the swagger
well Enigma....this is for you.....
A chicken and egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette
with a satisfied smile on its face, while the egg is frowning and
looking slightly annoyed. The chicken turns over on its side and mutters,
"Well, I guess that solves that debate."
Jack decides to go skiing with his buddy Bob. They load up Jack's
station wagon and head north. After driving for a few hours, they get
caught in a terrible blizzard. They pull into a nearby farmhouse and
ask the attractive lady of the house if they can spend the night.
"I'm recently widowed," she explains, "and I'm afraid the neighbors
will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Not to worry," Jack says, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."
Nine months later, Jack gets a letter from the widow's attorney. He
calls up his friend Bob and says, "Bob, do you remember that
good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?"
"Yes, I do," Bob says.
"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the
house and have sex with her?" Jack asks.
"Yes, I have to admit that I did," Bob says.
"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?" Jack
asks.
Bob's face turns red and he says, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."
"Well, thanks a lot, pal…” Jack says. “She just died and left me her
farm."
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, ready to consummate
their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession
to make, I’m not a virgin.”
The husband replies, “That’s not a big deal in this day and age.”
The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.”
“Oh yeah? Who was the guy?”
“Tiger Woods.”
“Tiger Woods, the golfer?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed
with him.”
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
“What are you doing?” asks the wife.
The husband says, “I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and get
something to eat.”
“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”
“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”
“He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make
love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. “Now what are
you doing?” she asks.
The husband says, “I’m still hungry so I was going to get room service
to get something to eat.”
“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”
“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”
“He’d come back to bed and do it again.”
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more
time.
When they finish he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone
and starts to dial.
The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?”
“No! I’m calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn
hole.”
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
From Baroque...............
Your favourite childhood memory – having a ball at my 5th buffday parry
Wash your face or rinse you mouth, which you do first in the morning – take a leak
The scariest moment of your life – being asked by a thug *why the hell do u wanna get down from the bus*(shuo should i stay.... so he would rob me*&^%$#)
One word that best describes you – HORNY AS A BITCH
Your favourite month of the year – October
Your favourite number -7
The nicest thing anyone ever said to you – all the compliments I need to thrive on …I tell meself
Current relationship status – happily single
What exactly are you wearing right now – shirt and pants-both in brown
What is your current problem – how to scratch this *itch*..........
What do you love most – GOD, family, money & most def boffing……*wink*…
If you could go back in time and change anything, what would it be? Agberos off the roads and bring WAI back.....
If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would you be? A pussy is what i am...*wink*...
Name an obvious quality you have – Diplomacy
Are you musically inclined? I love my music
The name of the song that's stuck in your head right now – Party Rider-9ice
Name someone with the same birthday as you – Bisi
Do you have a crush on someone? – does wanting his phallus in me everytyme I hear his voice count as a crush????....*wink*….
Have you ever been in a fight? I am a lady….hell no!!!!!!!!!
What is the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex? How tall he is….it translates to how *cough* he is..........
One of the biggest mistakes you’ve made – no regrets man………..
What do you think about prostitutes? – if you sell a product no one wants to buy, wont you become bankrupt????
Say something very random about you? …I stained me pants….(get ur mind outta the gutter)…with veggie soup……lol
Your favourite part of your body – My laps.........
Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Nah….their kinda money my way but not the fame………..
Are you comfortable with your height? Yea…cant do shit about it……
What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you? Gave me a cold bath all thru the night whilst I battled a fever….
What is your favourite smell? On me or on him????
Have you ever been rushed to the emergency room? Cut me self on a glass cup and joggedto the nearest hospital for a stitch…does this count????
Why are you answering all these questions? To update me blog……….
i tag.......Enigma,smaragd,afrobabe,fff,lg,shiraoko,freaksho.......
Wash your face or rinse you mouth, which you do first in the morning – take a leak
The scariest moment of your life – being asked by a thug *why the hell do u wanna get down from the bus*(shuo should i stay.... so he would rob me*&^%$#)
One word that best describes you – HORNY AS A BITCH
Your favourite month of the year – October
Your favourite number -7
The nicest thing anyone ever said to you – all the compliments I need to thrive on …I tell meself
Current relationship status – happily single
What exactly are you wearing right now – shirt and pants-both in brown
What is your current problem – how to scratch this *itch*..........
What do you love most – GOD, family, money & most def boffing……*wink*…
If you could go back in time and change anything, what would it be? Agberos off the roads and bring WAI back.....
If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would you be? A pussy is what i am...*wink*...
Name an obvious quality you have – Diplomacy
Are you musically inclined? I love my music
The name of the song that's stuck in your head right now – Party Rider-9ice
Name someone with the same birthday as you – Bisi
Do you have a crush on someone? – does wanting his phallus in me everytyme I hear his voice count as a crush????....*wink*….
Have you ever been in a fight? I am a lady….hell no!!!!!!!!!
What is the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex? How tall he is….it translates to how *cough* he is..........
One of the biggest mistakes you’ve made – no regrets man………..
What do you think about prostitutes? – if you sell a product no one wants to buy, wont you become bankrupt????
Say something very random about you? …I stained me pants….(get ur mind outta the gutter)…with veggie soup……lol
Your favourite part of your body – My laps.........
Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Nah….their kinda money my way but not the fame………..
Are you comfortable with your height? Yea…cant do shit about it……
What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you? Gave me a cold bath all thru the night whilst I battled a fever….
What is your favourite smell? On me or on him????
Have you ever been rushed to the emergency room? Cut me self on a glass cup and joggedto the nearest hospital for a stitch…does this count????
Why are you answering all these questions? To update me blog……….
i tag.......Enigma,smaragd,afrobabe,fff,lg,shiraoko,freaksho.......
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Lawyers wanted please!!!!!!
Hi peeps i had a restful weekend
how was urs???
i so need to get *a good boffing* soooooonnnnn
cos i sexually harrassed a man i had no attraction for
it rained
had to take a cab
one of those cabucabu where you sit 2 in the front
journey is going on smooth....
then.....papa hits me with left shoulder smack on *my twins*
so i decided to be naughty..........
i jammed them into his back
he reached for his money staying as
far away from the twins as he could
soon as he was relaxed.........i jammed them into him again
this continued thru the 10min ride
him pulling away.........me jamming them into his back
for the life of me i dont know why i did that to papa
was it cos i am horny as hell
was it to punish him
or was i just looking for a sexual harrassment lawsuit&^%$#@*&
....*wink*...........
how was urs???
i so need to get *a good boffing* soooooonnnnn
cos i sexually harrassed a man i had no attraction for
it rained
had to take a cab
one of those cabucabu where you sit 2 in the front
journey is going on smooth....
then.....papa hits me with left shoulder smack on *my twins*
so i decided to be naughty..........
i jammed them into his back
he reached for his money staying as
far away from the twins as he could
soon as he was relaxed.........i jammed them into him again
this continued thru the 10min ride
him pulling away.........me jamming them into his back
for the life of me i dont know why i did that to papa
was it cos i am horny as hell
was it to punish him
or was i just looking for a sexual harrassment lawsuit&^%$#@*&
....*wink*...........
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
UNA NO VOTE ABI????????????
Hi people............
una no vote for me abi?
for www.blogvilleidol08.blogspot.com
i dey go VILLAGE for ALL of una
as una know say una no go vote
when i talk say i wan sing
una for tell me say
no sing o..........
we no go vote o.......
i come go finish
una do me
ma lo....awa le hin e
na so i look back.........i no see person
i dey vex gannnnnnnnnn........
i no go blog again sef...........
cos na so i go say i wan turn
chief or mistress of this our obodo
una go do me wayo again
mschewwwwwwww...........
but sha
as una no vote for me
continue..........
cos no matter wetin happen
one person must carry bucket sorry cup
at the end of the whole thing
so.......go dia.....go vote
but no forgeti dey go villa this sat
FOR ALL OF UNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
una no vote for me abi?
for www.blogvilleidol08.blogspot.com
i dey go VILLAGE for ALL of una
as una know say una no go vote
when i talk say i wan sing
una for tell me say
no sing o..........
we no go vote o.......
i come go finish
una do me
ma lo....awa le hin e
na so i look back.........i no see person
i dey vex gannnnnnnnnn........
i no go blog again sef...........
cos na so i go say i wan turn
chief or mistress of this our obodo
una go do me wayo again
mschewwwwwwww...........
but sha
as una no vote for me
continue..........
cos no matter wetin happen
one person must carry bucket sorry cup
at the end of the whole thing
so.......go dia.....go vote
but no forgeti dey go villa this sat
FOR ALL OF UNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, July 7, 2008
Hey peeps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
have u all been to www.blogvilleidol08.blogspot.com
its HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know i promised to do a proper post today
couldnt get to it
maybe tom!!!!!!!!!!\
MWAH................
its HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know i promised to do a proper post today
couldnt get to it
maybe tom!!!!!!!!!!\
MWAH................
Friday, July 4, 2008
BLOGSVILLE IDOLS 2008
DONT IGNORE THE DATE ON ME BLOG HEADER
I GOT IT RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WWW.BLOGVILLEIDOL08.BLOGSPOT.COM
LOL..........................
I GOT IT RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WWW.BLOGVILLEIDOL08.BLOGSPOT.COM
LOL..........................
BLOGSVILLE IDOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LISTEN ON MON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VOTE FOR IBILUV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VOTE FOR IBILUV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What to say!!!!!!!
Have bloggers block..........
sent in my song
one minute they said
mine came up to 22secs
sent in another version
hope its longer
anyways
i am just saying
if my song is 22secs long
dont mean u guys shouldnt vote for moi!!!!!!!!!!
proper post coming up on mon
not looking forward to tom(sat)
ignore tha date on me blog header
need to change it somehow
have training-work related
and i got the mail 450pm
how fair is that?????
wish u all a *soundtrack* filled weekend!!!!!!!!!!
sent in my song
one minute they said
mine came up to 22secs
sent in another version
hope its longer
anyways
i am just saying
if my song is 22secs long
dont mean u guys shouldnt vote for moi!!!!!!!!!!
proper post coming up on mon
not looking forward to tom(sat)
ignore tha date on me blog header
need to change it somehow
have training-work related
and i got the mail 450pm
how fair is that?????
wish u all a *soundtrack* filled weekend!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, June 30, 2008
BLOGSVILLE IDOLS 2008
I AM SOOOOOOOO GONNA BE IN IT
CHECK OUT www.blogvilleidol08.blogspot.com
VOTE FOR MOI
MWAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHECK OUT www.blogvilleidol08.blogspot.com
VOTE FOR MOI
MWAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Feeler?????????Visualiser?or..........
some people are feelers-they love to touch/grab/hug
some are visualisers-they love what they see
some are audio(cant remember)-they are in love
and are good with words
heard this on *moments with mo* over the weekend
and it got me thinking...........
i like to touch and be touched but i'm more comfortable
commiting all kinds of touchry in private
i like hugs but i'm not prone to giving or taking them freely
i have also been known to act kinda cold in the midst of people
so i have discovered i am not a feeler............
i do like to look at good stuff
but i prefer words.....thats the audio stuff i forgot
i love sms's,mails..sometymes i dont even say all i wanna with
a fone call sometymes cos i can be a very private person
if you call moi at work...i may cut you short
you call me and i am in company of someone....i may cut you short
but while i dont subscribe to 1230-430am calls(except4special people)
my best fone conversations are between 10pm and midnight
then i am relaxed......probably on my bed....uninhibited
thats me at my best....
so the thing is......how do you know which one you are
and which one ur partner/boyfriend/shagger/fuckmate is???
cos the key to a good relationship
is understanding which you are and which he/she is
so you balance it out
wit my first i remember dropping little notes in shoes,shirt pockets,pants,bags,books and while he would
find them later and say thank you,grin at moi
and grab moi....he never did such for me....
after a while i didnt bother no more......
he asked why...i said cos u didnt appreciate it.....
he said he does but he just isnt good with words.....
which brings me to........
just cos a person doesnt love you the way you want
doesnt mean they dont love you with all they have......
cos the only thing that makes life worth living
is a deep and enduring love.......
even if for most of us..........
we can only be sure of God's love
and the love of our family..........
but for those of us hoping......s
he/he's out there...........*wink*
some are visualisers-they love what they see
some are audio(cant remember)-they are in love
and are good with words
heard this on *moments with mo* over the weekend
and it got me thinking...........
i like to touch and be touched but i'm more comfortable
commiting all kinds of touchry in private
i like hugs but i'm not prone to giving or taking them freely
i have also been known to act kinda cold in the midst of people
so i have discovered i am not a feeler............
i do like to look at good stuff
but i prefer words.....thats the audio stuff i forgot
i love sms's,mails..sometymes i dont even say all i wanna with
a fone call sometymes cos i can be a very private person
if you call moi at work...i may cut you short
you call me and i am in company of someone....i may cut you short
but while i dont subscribe to 1230-430am calls(except4special people)
my best fone conversations are between 10pm and midnight
then i am relaxed......probably on my bed....uninhibited
thats me at my best....
so the thing is......how do you know which one you are
and which one ur partner/boyfriend/shagger/fuckmate is???
cos the key to a good relationship
is understanding which you are and which he/she is
so you balance it out
wit my first i remember dropping little notes in shoes,shirt pockets,pants,bags,books and while he would
find them later and say thank you,grin at moi
and grab moi....he never did such for me....
after a while i didnt bother no more......
he asked why...i said cos u didnt appreciate it.....
he said he does but he just isnt good with words.....
which brings me to........
just cos a person doesnt love you the way you want
doesnt mean they dont love you with all they have......
cos the only thing that makes life worth living
is a deep and enduring love.......
even if for most of us..........
we can only be sure of God's love
and the love of our family..........
but for those of us hoping......s
he/he's out there...........*wink*
Thursday, June 26, 2008
ADVERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I see people dropping out of blogsville cos of anons and it just amuses me
....there is bliss in ignorance you know....blogging is a release.....
i dont need some asswipe telling me shit....
thats why ONLY bloggers are allowed to drop comments here.....
by the way i hate that word verification shit on some blogs....
..........so even though anyone can read what i write....
i only wanna hear the thots of pple i can write back to....
so anons talk all u like...i cant hear you and it suits me............
Blogsville idols 2008 i am soooooo gonna be in it...
someone needs to teach me how to send my songs in.................
details on opeke's blog and pinksatin's blog
SHAGGER WANTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A good looking Shaggee is horny-in need of a Shagger....
Shagger must be 5'7 or more, dark(she doesn't relish the idea of a pink phallus),goodlooking wit a reasonably sized phallus......
Shagger must understand Shaggee's nipples need not be torn off to prove he can suckle-he only needs to deal with them with the aim to give pleasure.....
Shagger must b nail-less or keep cropped clean nails and hands.Shagger must have perfected the art of cunnilingus-only lips and tongue are allowed on Shaggee's clitoris....
Fingers are off limits to Shaggee's clitoris...job description of Shagger's fingers is to find Shaggee's g-spot..... Please note that gnashers are off limits around Shaggee's genitalia....
Shagger must understand that while Shaggee doesn't expect him to be clean shaven,bushes down dia and in the armpit are so last century......
Shaggee expects to be had in a neat environment....Fresh breath is expected at all times-if in doubt ask Shaggee for tom tom or gum cos she relishes good long kisses......slobbering is not allowed....
Shagger must have perfected the art of changing pace and style but when Shaggee stops or halts a sequence-it may be bcos sequence is doing nothing for her,she is bored or in pain-pain is no gain during the do...
Shaggee doesnt mind being had anywhere as long as no pictures or videos of her are taken/made......This is cos her sex life stays seperate from her workplace,acquaintances,family and friends.......Shaggers who kiss and tell are not welcome to apply............
Interested Shaggers should send in their notice of interest with their needs and preferences.....from the notes sent in,Shaggee will pick a Shagger which may suit her style...
if you are not called,not to worry there is a waiting list....pls note that Shaggee prefers men that can call her up to say lets do this tonight,this morn/week...she likes to play coy and will not suggest a rematch-it is expected he suggests one and many others.....if Shaggee refuses a rematch-u were not good the first tyme....loose her number..........
Please note that sex is sex....Shaggee is not looking for a boyfriend or a husband(yet or thru this means)....if at some point Shagger becomes confused and starts to develop feelings...please inform Shaggee,she may feel the same....be sure to know that if Shaggee develops those feelings,Shagger will be informed......If it suits them both this contract shall end and a relationship shall begin....the idea of going incommunicado or suddenly becoming busy is childish....
If Shaggee calls/texts/mails Shagger please note she is not suggesting a rematch....Shagger should be able to carry on a lively conversation with Shaggee.....Rematch(es) are the sole responsibility of Shagger....Shaggee doesnt see why a friendship can't be maintained with Shagger.....
Please note that in the event a contract is signed now but sometime in the future Shaggee becomes Shagger's sister in-law,friend's wife or some other relationship....Shaggee will acknowledge knowing Shagger-dont act like you dont know Shaggee,but contract cannot be rekindled......
Contract will be terminated if a rematch is not organised in three months....Shaggee will still keep in touch platonically....Shagger is not allowed to starve Shaggee for 3months and expect to rekindle dead fires......
Please note that Shaggee doesnt keep multiple sex partners so the idea of not organising rematches is not fair...Also note that unprotected sex is frowned upon but can be had if the Shagger agrees not to sleep with other women and there is proof he doesnt have hepatitis B and or C(lol-they say it feels better without protection????not so???)
Contract is laible to change that suit both parties....
Communication is essential between both parties........
Whilst this is a joke-some of it is true for the author.....
....there is bliss in ignorance you know....blogging is a release.....
i dont need some asswipe telling me shit....
thats why ONLY bloggers are allowed to drop comments here.....
by the way i hate that word verification shit on some blogs....
..........so even though anyone can read what i write....
i only wanna hear the thots of pple i can write back to....
so anons talk all u like...i cant hear you and it suits me............
Blogsville idols 2008 i am soooooo gonna be in it...
someone needs to teach me how to send my songs in.................
details on opeke's blog and pinksatin's blog
SHAGGER WANTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A good looking Shaggee is horny-in need of a Shagger....
Shagger must be 5'7 or more, dark(she doesn't relish the idea of a pink phallus),goodlooking wit a reasonably sized phallus......
Shagger must understand Shaggee's nipples need not be torn off to prove he can suckle-he only needs to deal with them with the aim to give pleasure.....
Shagger must b nail-less or keep cropped clean nails and hands.Shagger must have perfected the art of cunnilingus-only lips and tongue are allowed on Shaggee's clitoris....
Fingers are off limits to Shaggee's clitoris...job description of Shagger's fingers is to find Shaggee's g-spot..... Please note that gnashers are off limits around Shaggee's genitalia....
Shagger must understand that while Shaggee doesn't expect him to be clean shaven,bushes down dia and in the armpit are so last century......
Shaggee expects to be had in a neat environment....Fresh breath is expected at all times-if in doubt ask Shaggee for tom tom or gum cos she relishes good long kisses......slobbering is not allowed....
Shagger must have perfected the art of changing pace and style but when Shaggee stops or halts a sequence-it may be bcos sequence is doing nothing for her,she is bored or in pain-pain is no gain during the do...
Shaggee doesnt mind being had anywhere as long as no pictures or videos of her are taken/made......This is cos her sex life stays seperate from her workplace,acquaintances,family and friends.......Shaggers who kiss and tell are not welcome to apply............
Interested Shaggers should send in their notice of interest with their needs and preferences.....from the notes sent in,Shaggee will pick a Shagger which may suit her style...
if you are not called,not to worry there is a waiting list....pls note that Shaggee prefers men that can call her up to say lets do this tonight,this morn/week...she likes to play coy and will not suggest a rematch-it is expected he suggests one and many others.....if Shaggee refuses a rematch-u were not good the first tyme....loose her number..........
Please note that sex is sex....Shaggee is not looking for a boyfriend or a husband(yet or thru this means)....if at some point Shagger becomes confused and starts to develop feelings...please inform Shaggee,she may feel the same....be sure to know that if Shaggee develops those feelings,Shagger will be informed......If it suits them both this contract shall end and a relationship shall begin....the idea of going incommunicado or suddenly becoming busy is childish....
If Shaggee calls/texts/mails Shagger please note she is not suggesting a rematch....Shagger should be able to carry on a lively conversation with Shaggee.....Rematch(es) are the sole responsibility of Shagger....Shaggee doesnt see why a friendship can't be maintained with Shagger.....
Please note that in the event a contract is signed now but sometime in the future Shaggee becomes Shagger's sister in-law,friend's wife or some other relationship....Shaggee will acknowledge knowing Shagger-dont act like you dont know Shaggee,but contract cannot be rekindled......
Contract will be terminated if a rematch is not organised in three months....Shaggee will still keep in touch platonically....Shagger is not allowed to starve Shaggee for 3months and expect to rekindle dead fires......
Please note that Shaggee doesnt keep multiple sex partners so the idea of not organising rematches is not fair...Also note that unprotected sex is frowned upon but can be had if the Shagger agrees not to sleep with other women and there is proof he doesnt have hepatitis B and or C(lol-they say it feels better without protection????not so???)
Contract is laible to change that suit both parties....
Communication is essential between both parties........
Whilst this is a joke-some of it is true for the author.....
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
From Tosin Buckor...................
A. Attached or Single?
Single
B. Best Friends?
Meself
C. Cake or Pie?
Cake
D. Day of Choice?
Sunday-its always restful
E. Essential Item?
Glasses.........so close to being a bat
F. Favorite Color?
Black!........luv it
G. Greatest accomplishment?
Not sure-hasnt happened yet!!!!!!!
H. Hometown?
Abeokuta
I. Indulgences?
Icecream & Chocs
J. January or July?
Jan....the whole year ahead of me!!!!!!!
K. Kids?
Those 3 kids of mine???Still at God's feet!!!!!
L. Life is incomplete without?
Saying thanks to Baba Loke and earth shattering..*cough*.....
M. Marriage date?
.....and be stuck to only one for the rest of mi days????......
N. Number of siblings?
2-both of the opposite sex(but i need to ask me Dad
there may b some little buggers somewhere)
O. Oranges or apples?
Apples
P. Phobias or fears?
Little spaces closing up on me....
my face when i do the witch faces on naija
home videos......scary..........lol
Q. Quotes?
?????
R. Reason to smile?
Me teeth-them dey shine!!!!!!!!!!!
S. Season?
Anything except this darn rain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T. Tag three friends?
i tag
- smaragd
- afrobabe
- enigma
U. Unknown fact about me?
na lie-i'm sure i already told someone...
V. Very favorite store?
I hate to shop...am i weird????
W. Worst habit?
Pinching face-farting in public places
X. X-ray or ultrasound?
ultrasound.....dont ask me why.........
Y. Your favorite food
Amala and Ewedu
Z. Zodiac?
Libra
Single
B. Best Friends?
Meself
C. Cake or Pie?
Cake
D. Day of Choice?
Sunday-its always restful
E. Essential Item?
Glasses.........so close to being a bat
F. Favorite Color?
Black!........luv it
G. Greatest accomplishment?
Not sure-hasnt happened yet!!!!!!!
H. Hometown?
Abeokuta
I. Indulgences?
Icecream & Chocs
J. January or July?
Jan....the whole year ahead of me!!!!!!!
K. Kids?
Those 3 kids of mine???Still at God's feet!!!!!
L. Life is incomplete without?
Saying thanks to Baba Loke and earth shattering..*cough*.....
M. Marriage date?
.....and be stuck to only one for the rest of mi days????......
N. Number of siblings?
2-both of the opposite sex(but i need to ask me Dad
there may b some little buggers somewhere)
O. Oranges or apples?
Apples
P. Phobias or fears?
Little spaces closing up on me....
my face when i do the witch faces on naija
home videos......scary..........lol
Q. Quotes?
?????
R. Reason to smile?
Me teeth-them dey shine!!!!!!!!!!!
S. Season?
Anything except this darn rain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T. Tag three friends?
i tag
- smaragd
- afrobabe
- enigma
U. Unknown fact about me?
na lie-i'm sure i already told someone...
V. Very favorite store?
I hate to shop...am i weird????
W. Worst habit?
Pinching face-farting in public places
X. X-ray or ultrasound?
ultrasound.....dont ask me why.........
Y. Your favorite food
Amala and Ewedu
Z. Zodiac?
Libra
Smaragd........this is for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MEME Rules
1. Put Your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle
(i got windows media)
2. For each question, press the next button to get your
answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people
and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme
themselves!
IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
I wanna love you-Akon
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Bragging Rights-Freestyle & Blaise
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Am i still that special man-PSqaure
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
My year-Sound Sultan
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Jusile-Ruggedman & Druella
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Kolo-Mo'hits..........i dey make people kolo!!!!!!!!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
So beautiful-Asa(this is on point).............lol
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
I wanna get close to you-Mo'hits
WHAT IS 2+2?
Temperature-Sean Paul...........*wink*.....
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
African Queen--2face......she is,cos i am best friends with meself....lol!!!!!!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Ko si Oba bi Ire-while i like you i cant compare you to Baba Loke...........
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
After and then-Kuku........hmmmmmmm
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
For instance-2face
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Bodi no be wood-Freeestyle
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Eye Adaba-Asa........i guess i dey fly oooooo
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
No air-Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown.....for real??????
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Dont flip-Omotola Ekehinde.........abi make them leave me to go rest......
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Tongolo remix-Dbanj...........na wa for me oooooo
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I'm on my way-Ikechukwu......where i dey go?????
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Stylee-Jimmy Jatt.........which kain????
WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Ika o da-Dbanj.......na so......
Ok i tag Enigma,Unnaked,Lg,Freeflowingflorida,Freaksho
1. Put Your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle
(i got windows media)
2. For each question, press the next button to get your
answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people
and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme
themselves!
IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
I wanna love you-Akon
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Bragging Rights-Freestyle & Blaise
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Am i still that special man-PSqaure
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
My year-Sound Sultan
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Jusile-Ruggedman & Druella
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Kolo-Mo'hits..........i dey make people kolo!!!!!!!!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
So beautiful-Asa(this is on point).............lol
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
I wanna get close to you-Mo'hits
WHAT IS 2+2?
Temperature-Sean Paul...........*wink*.....
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
African Queen--2face......she is,cos i am best friends with meself....lol!!!!!!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Ko si Oba bi Ire-while i like you i cant compare you to Baba Loke...........
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
After and then-Kuku........hmmmmmmm
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
For instance-2face
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Bodi no be wood-Freeestyle
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Eye Adaba-Asa........i guess i dey fly oooooo
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
No air-Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown.....for real??????
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Dont flip-Omotola Ekehinde.........abi make them leave me to go rest......
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Tongolo remix-Dbanj...........na wa for me oooooo
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I'm on my way-Ikechukwu......where i dey go?????
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Stylee-Jimmy Jatt.........which kain????
WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Ika o da-Dbanj.......na so......
Ok i tag Enigma,Unnaked,Lg,Freeflowingflorida,Freaksho
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
I TOLD HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A pal had just lost her mum
at the party to celebrate her life
i saw this dark guy-quite dark-i was intriguied
asked my pal-who is he?
a family friend she said
i kept stealing glances till he noticed
then i stared at him
i could see he was wondering who be dis babe???
hours later he swaggers to our table
not a Denzel swagger but close.....he goes- hi Ibi
i like guys that do their homework,i had also done mine
so i am like hey people meet J-my future husband
for the life of me i had no idea why i said that
but once i had said it-it felt right
dude was taken aback......i just smiled at him
hours later when the last guests had gone and we were done cleaning
i got up to go to bed-he corners me and says
did u mean what u said?he asked?
so i asked him-are u in a relationship now?
no he said
i said yea,i meant it
he goes-are u asking me out?
i said yea!!!!!
Pal & I were scheduled to go back to Uni 2weeks later
we found tyme to hang out and he kept saying he would
*show me pepper*...........
guys who talk like that-CANT DO WACK!!!!!!!!!!
i didnt know that then-i hadnt been wit any one wack
but then i hadnt been with anyone who had promised me pepper
i should have known-not so????
but then again,was that the way to find a husband???
i liked what i saw and i figured if it worked
i would have had my 3 kids now...........lol
J visits me in Uni 6 months later but before
then he would call every other night-no mobiles in naija then
by then i was sooooo ready to discover his brand of pepper........
when he visited he wanted us to spend the weekend together
but insisted on going to his place which was a 2hr drive
i had no issues with that but we werent gonna get any cabs to take us
he refused so i packed my stuff and we set out
tired and dusty an hour later we were back in my room
i sang------i told u so
we showered,had dinner and settled in
the kisses were good not great
i decided to leave him be
it may get better.........not so?
his touch was ok but not terrific
dude was so spoiling my Denzel fantasy
then the do.....
it was wack.......
he groped,prodded and did the whole slam bang thing...
i pushed him away after a while
i needed to pee i said
went to my pal's room and spent the rest of the night in bliss
in the morning i could sense his anger
i ignored it.....
made him breakfast which he refused
we got ready and set off for his place
his dad's country home(abi na village home)
hadnt been lived in in a while
so first we had to clean,sweep,dust
we took a shower
went to town to get something to eat
he stopped by a drugstore to replenish his cd ration
i was wondering if he had had lessons i didnt know about
cos i didnt know what the cd's were for?????
...........a while later
when his kisses started geting intense
i told him not to repeat the shit he tried yesterday
he looks at me and goes...........
is it cos he didnt blow his top at me leaving
him with blue balls???
u were performing rubbish so i decided to sleep i said
i was not having my vagina battered..........
dont do the bang bang bang i said
first thrust-slow...........
touch,feel,kiss i said
u can pick up pace later....change rhythm............
ok he says
obviously a bad student
so i let him hammer at me a while
he wasnt doing anything for me
and i wasnt lubricated
i wasnt about to have a sore vagina in the morn
stop i said-let me give you fellatio
no he says
he wont give or take oral sex(selfish ass!!!!!)
roll over and sleep i said
u are a lousy fuck
what do u mean????? he said
exactly what i said!!!!!!!!!!
A LOUSY LAY.....
GO LEARN HOW TO FUCK THEN CALL ME WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN SCHOOLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
watch movies or hook up with a courtesan
watch the kama sutra or something
when u get better
give me a call
i roll over
ignore his black ass and fell promptly asleep
back to school the next day-he dared to
suggest one for the road
i say no-i aiint about to subject meself
to that shit...........
i get to school and tell my pal-
ur family friend is a lousy fuck
i am definitely not letting him near
my vagina till i feel he has improved........
how will u know he has improved she asked
i said if i let him stew a few months i
expect him to go get lessons somewhere or
mayb when he is more receptive to being schooled
i ignore his calls............
back to Lagos a month later
he finds out i am home,calls me and insults me for 45mins
i am listening without hearing the words
i let him rant and when he is spent,i engage the phone
next day i call him up and ask him to loose my number and address
i am no longer interested in what we have.........
he dares ask me why........
the sex was wack and you fight like a girl
he still calls occassionally
maybe he wants to show me his new skills.....
and to remind me
i wanted to marry him at one tyme
i shudder at the thought that i could have married
such a lousy fuck and a man that fights like a girl
thats the only tyme i was in the hands of a man
who didnt know how to make my animalistic tendencies surface
God has been good to me..............
HE has always sent me guys who are sensitive to my needs
and i theirs.........
while i have had ok sex
i have mostly always had earth shattering sex
ladies i pray thou shall not fall
into the hands of men who didnt have practise with their maids.............LMAO!!!!!!!!!
at the party to celebrate her life
i saw this dark guy-quite dark-i was intriguied
asked my pal-who is he?
a family friend she said
i kept stealing glances till he noticed
then i stared at him
i could see he was wondering who be dis babe???
hours later he swaggers to our table
not a Denzel swagger but close.....he goes- hi Ibi
i like guys that do their homework,i had also done mine
so i am like hey people meet J-my future husband
for the life of me i had no idea why i said that
but once i had said it-it felt right
dude was taken aback......i just smiled at him
hours later when the last guests had gone and we were done cleaning
i got up to go to bed-he corners me and says
did u mean what u said?he asked?
so i asked him-are u in a relationship now?
no he said
i said yea,i meant it
he goes-are u asking me out?
i said yea!!!!!
Pal & I were scheduled to go back to Uni 2weeks later
we found tyme to hang out and he kept saying he would
*show me pepper*...........
guys who talk like that-CANT DO WACK!!!!!!!!!!
i didnt know that then-i hadnt been wit any one wack
but then i hadnt been with anyone who had promised me pepper
i should have known-not so????
but then again,was that the way to find a husband???
i liked what i saw and i figured if it worked
i would have had my 3 kids now...........lol
J visits me in Uni 6 months later but before
then he would call every other night-no mobiles in naija then
by then i was sooooo ready to discover his brand of pepper........
when he visited he wanted us to spend the weekend together
but insisted on going to his place which was a 2hr drive
i had no issues with that but we werent gonna get any cabs to take us
he refused so i packed my stuff and we set out
tired and dusty an hour later we were back in my room
i sang------i told u so
we showered,had dinner and settled in
the kisses were good not great
i decided to leave him be
it may get better.........not so?
his touch was ok but not terrific
dude was so spoiling my Denzel fantasy
then the do.....
it was wack.......
he groped,prodded and did the whole slam bang thing...
i pushed him away after a while
i needed to pee i said
went to my pal's room and spent the rest of the night in bliss
in the morning i could sense his anger
i ignored it.....
made him breakfast which he refused
we got ready and set off for his place
his dad's country home(abi na village home)
hadnt been lived in in a while
so first we had to clean,sweep,dust
we took a shower
went to town to get something to eat
he stopped by a drugstore to replenish his cd ration
i was wondering if he had had lessons i didnt know about
cos i didnt know what the cd's were for?????
...........a while later
when his kisses started geting intense
i told him not to repeat the shit he tried yesterday
he looks at me and goes...........
is it cos he didnt blow his top at me leaving
him with blue balls???
u were performing rubbish so i decided to sleep i said
i was not having my vagina battered..........
dont do the bang bang bang i said
first thrust-slow...........
touch,feel,kiss i said
u can pick up pace later....change rhythm............
ok he says
obviously a bad student
so i let him hammer at me a while
he wasnt doing anything for me
and i wasnt lubricated
i wasnt about to have a sore vagina in the morn
stop i said-let me give you fellatio
no he says
he wont give or take oral sex(selfish ass!!!!!)
roll over and sleep i said
u are a lousy fuck
what do u mean????? he said
exactly what i said!!!!!!!!!!
A LOUSY LAY.....
GO LEARN HOW TO FUCK THEN CALL ME WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN SCHOOLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
watch movies or hook up with a courtesan
watch the kama sutra or something
when u get better
give me a call
i roll over
ignore his black ass and fell promptly asleep
back to school the next day-he dared to
suggest one for the road
i say no-i aiint about to subject meself
to that shit...........
i get to school and tell my pal-
ur family friend is a lousy fuck
i am definitely not letting him near
my vagina till i feel he has improved........
how will u know he has improved she asked
i said if i let him stew a few months i
expect him to go get lessons somewhere or
mayb when he is more receptive to being schooled
i ignore his calls............
back to Lagos a month later
he finds out i am home,calls me and insults me for 45mins
i am listening without hearing the words
i let him rant and when he is spent,i engage the phone
next day i call him up and ask him to loose my number and address
i am no longer interested in what we have.........
he dares ask me why........
the sex was wack and you fight like a girl
he still calls occassionally
maybe he wants to show me his new skills.....
and to remind me
i wanted to marry him at one tyme
i shudder at the thought that i could have married
such a lousy fuck and a man that fights like a girl
thats the only tyme i was in the hands of a man
who didnt know how to make my animalistic tendencies surface
God has been good to me..............
HE has always sent me guys who are sensitive to my needs
and i theirs.........
while i have had ok sex
i have mostly always had earth shattering sex
ladies i pray thou shall not fall
into the hands of men who didnt have practise with their maids.............LMAO!!!!!!!!!
Friday, June 20, 2008
TELL HIM............................
The whole fascination with sex started with mills and boon
i was allowed to start reading them (officially) in SS1...
my first encounter was at 19.....i had by then seen all
those movies we were once prohibited to see.......
I spit on your grave,Sliver,Basic Instinct,Jason's lyrics
i HATED and still HATE porn
its too animalistic for me
it was me first who told me i wasnt expected to just lie
there during the do............
so even though i had seen all those movies
it didnt prepare me for what was expected of me
just cos someone moans doesnt mean you are doing anything
for her/him
i wasnt even moaning sef........lol
apparently dude understood all the pleasure was on his part
after we started the do........the first two months
i didnt get what the hype was about
so i wasnt letting him have it like he wanted........lol
the first day was kinda bittersweet........
a little pain with the blood and a vagina that felt like
it was swollen
i had to make meself walk aiight when i left his flat
cos i wasnt having his roomates tease my life out
so he said i wasnt expected to just lie there.........
i asked..... what do you want me to do????
he said...get into it-feel it along with me.......
how????
........move your hips.........
when????
whilst i am thrusting.......
how????
lemme show you..........
and so we experimented with each others bodies
it wasnt about being kinky
it was about..........
when i lick u here.......does it feel good????
when i touch you here......does it feel aiight???
do you like it when i do this?
fast?
slow?
ANY woman can make a man hard just with a look
ANY woman can make a man cum if he gets his phallus into a
warm wet spot...............
but while sex is sex
earth shattering sex is HEADLINE news
lovemaking is special cos being in love with a person
makes every touch SPECIAL
so ladies
the guys are saying na we dey make them think say them
dey do what napoleon couldnt do............
abeg..............
if he is not doing it for you
don't just lie dia and moan only to fake an orgasm
TELL HIM...........
WETIN YOU DEY DO??????????????????
i was allowed to start reading them (officially) in SS1...
my first encounter was at 19.....i had by then seen all
those movies we were once prohibited to see.......
I spit on your grave,Sliver,Basic Instinct,Jason's lyrics
i HATED and still HATE porn
its too animalistic for me
it was me first who told me i wasnt expected to just lie
there during the do............
so even though i had seen all those movies
it didnt prepare me for what was expected of me
just cos someone moans doesnt mean you are doing anything
for her/him
i wasnt even moaning sef........lol
apparently dude understood all the pleasure was on his part
after we started the do........the first two months
i didnt get what the hype was about
so i wasnt letting him have it like he wanted........lol
the first day was kinda bittersweet........
a little pain with the blood and a vagina that felt like
it was swollen
i had to make meself walk aiight when i left his flat
cos i wasnt having his roomates tease my life out
so he said i wasnt expected to just lie there.........
i asked..... what do you want me to do????
he said...get into it-feel it along with me.......
how????
........move your hips.........
when????
whilst i am thrusting.......
how????
lemme show you..........
and so we experimented with each others bodies
it wasnt about being kinky
it was about..........
when i lick u here.......does it feel good????
when i touch you here......does it feel aiight???
do you like it when i do this?
fast?
slow?
ANY woman can make a man hard just with a look
ANY woman can make a man cum if he gets his phallus into a
warm wet spot...............
but while sex is sex
earth shattering sex is HEADLINE news
lovemaking is special cos being in love with a person
makes every touch SPECIAL
so ladies
the guys are saying na we dey make them think say them
dey do what napoleon couldnt do............
abeg..............
if he is not doing it for you
don't just lie dia and moan only to fake an orgasm
TELL HIM...........
WETIN YOU DEY DO??????????????????
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