........i was about to alight
this slim thing decided to shoot out
i blocked her progress and i almost fell
so i started to speak
thought to let it go...
she stopped and said talk now........
i said why did u do that????
she started to rant and i gave her the high five
talk to the hand....
she hisses and says
talk to the finger.......
i didnt bother....it just made it clearer to me
she wasnt worth my spit...............
TGIF U ALL
An angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his
breath and lipstick on his collar.
“I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to
come waltzing in here at six o’clock in the morning?”
“There is,” he replied. “Breakfast.”
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,
Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her
95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied,
“He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.”
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years
old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
“Oh no, my dear,” replied Granny. “Many years ago, realizing our advanced
age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells
would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and
even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.”
She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, “And if that damned
ice cream truck hadn’t come along, he’d still be alive today!”
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home
and leaves her, hoping she will be well-cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and
set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She
seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to fall over sideways in
Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her
up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other
side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This
goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her
“So, Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?” they ask.
“It’s pretty nice,” she replies. “Except they won’t let you fart.”
see u all mon.........