Friday, August 8, 2008

Liquor2

next day-i slept the whole day............
the alcohol in me and i do love sleep........

got to school day after the next and scolded T&H....
they aplogise and said they thought boffing him would come easy.......

the cretins knew*&^%$£.......

i let it slide.......later that night i am home
and T comes over,he says H wants to see me.........
i said i was tired and needed to chill but he persuaded me
and i went with him..........

first to see H....nurrin serious...had dinner.....
laffs,he was supposed to walk me home...
i wan pop in to see someone he says.........

another bar.........

i suppose just waka go my home abi?..........
no...........

na so i siddon follow drink another 4.........

during the 4th(did i mention that shit is bitter?????
it did nurrin for me-y i was plying meself with
drink i have no idea.......

did i get high????

i dunno, i do know T and i left the bar and headed
to Down-G........
with my 4th bottle in hand......
we strolled thru the dark night.......

must have been about 2am....
went into this ashi joint.........
see a few guys from school......

i'm feeling aiight-extra confident........
no one can touch me.........

this dude from my class A goes up to T and whispers to him
.....abeg una for tell me say as i b babe and i dey ashi joint
dem fit join me with those whey dey *sell*.........

T seems humbled by whatever A said and we leave the ashi joint
and go hook up with this other dudes.........na outside we go o..........

i am still with my bottle....this dudes were leering......
they were not students but grown ass men.....
they bought me suya.....and na so my eye clear.....

dey bought me my fifth small bottle......

a little over an hr later...i'm drowsy......
everyone around me is either gone or asleep......

i am eyeing a free spot on a bench to lie on when L steps up to me.......

L's been wanting to date me since forever.....
he and i chat for a few mins and he goes he's headed home
and i said bye.......

he says i look drowsy,i say i am........

Ibi where are you gonna sleep????

once again na so my eye clear o.....

if i venture out to mine alone.....i may get hit by a
bus scratch that a *daf* or killed by
indigenes or students(i fit disrupt their meeting).........

if i sleep dia..... a few feet away from an ashi joint
and i get solicited and i say no.....
bye bye to innocence the harsh way........

L says come home with me-thing is L stays a few
houses away from boyf........

L is a berra option so i go home with L,get to his......
lay side by side...i'm cold and all liquored up
but i get to sleep like a baby...........

he's a gentleman.....he doesnt even ask for a kiss......

2hrs sleep and its 6am.........i get up,say my thanks
and take a cab home..........

its not a school day......nobody find me sef.....
mi cuz goes sebi na T i follow go.........
they are having breakfast and i'm famished....
went into shock.....i do when my blood sugar level drops.......

mi cuz rustles up a meal.....i wolf it down and it
all comes back up..........they laff at me......
they knew i must have gotten stuffed with alcohol.....
u cant hang out wit a dog and not eat shit they said.......

i drink some tea....it stays down...i take a shower
close the windows and sleep for 8hours.........

i wake up and who do i see...........

boyf......

from the look in his eyes i knew it...he had heard it all.........

i had a lot of explaining to do.....




have a luvly weekend y'all!!!!!!!!!





A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an
afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23.


The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was
that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride
was a healthy, vivacious young woman.


But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down
the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto
the banister for dear life.


She finally managed to get to the counter of the
little shop in the hotel.

The clerk looked really concerned,
“Whatever happened to you, honey?
You look like you’ve been wrestling an alligator!”


The bride groaned, hung on to the counter
and managed to speak,
“Oh God! When he told me he’d been saving up for 75 years,
I thought he meant his money!!”











Tim and Joe finished their weekly round of golf
with Tim pulling out his typical victory, although
not by the customary wide margin.

Even though the match was unusually close,
Joe seemed more upset than usual by the outcome.


“Talk about the worst luck in the world,” grumbled Joe
as they headed into the locker room.
“I just can’t seem to buy a darn break.”


“Why are you being so hard on yourself?” asked Tim.
"You played great all week. Heck, you almost won.”


“That’s what’s so aggravating,” yelled Joe.
“I cheated like crazy and I still lost!”



A salesman decided to become a policeman.
Several months later, a friend asked him how
he liked his new job.


"Well," he replied, "The pay isn't great and
the hours are long, but one thing I really
like is that the customer is always wrong!"

25 comments:

archiwiz said...

First!!!

archiwiz said...

I raise my fist in the air and declare...I am first!!!


Ok, enough misyarns...lemme go read.

geishasong said...

liquor eh.
gotta stay away babe! lol

archiwiz said...

Wow! That was a lot of alcohol... Thank goodness nothing untoward was done to you.


LOL...those jokes r funny. I'm eager to know what the boyf did, asked, and what you said...

Nigerican said...

Noooooooooooooo, i want more... abeg come back and finish jare.

How can i have a good weekend, abeg good weekend u'reself tsweeee... u berra come back b4 i vex well well oh.


www.nigerican.blogspot.com

anonymous gal said...

so how did the xplanation go?

Shubby Doo said...

ashi joint? this woman you brave! Glad L was a gentleman

Mz. Dee said...

danggg!!! shey part 3 go dey o??
i wan hear wetin boyfie yarn!

Nine said...

I think I'd like L.
And I never drink outside without male backup.And I'm a GUY.Your guardian angel musta been working overtime.

Nine said...

PS What happened with BF?

Invisible said...

Ever thought of attending an alcoholics anonymous class? lol.
That was a lot of liquor.

So what did boyfi say or do now?

Aphrodite said...

You get liver o dis babe!

So complete the gist, wetin happen?

Parakeet said...

God woman...u drink like a fish. Easy on the bottles oh!

Lady Koko said...

BUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!OH IBILUV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOLOLOLOLOL*SIGH*
P.S:XOXO

Buttercup said...

lol its stories like this that make me stay farther n farther away from alcohol..lol..

*waitin for part 3*

lol @ the jokes..

tobenna said...

liquor is the bomb!
literally.

Uzezi said...

i get to think that because i from the ogogoro zone, i should be able to withstand alcohol, but for where. i get carried away like that, so i try to stay away.

badderchic said...

highness na im cause all this wahala so?

guerreiranigeriana said...

...wow!!!...this your pidgin and alcohol consumption...from the way you were consuming, i started to think you were a dude...girl, be careful o!!...you were lucky l was a gentleman...how did explanation go with boyfriend?...

Afrobabe said...

lmao..if explaining was all u had to do then u had it good…
been to an ashi joint in Abuja with a friend and 2 guys…we were having fun, enjoying our close contact with ashi’s and how they operate only to see some babes from school selling….the shock wey catch me first tell me say they might be thinking the same thing….I stopped having fun sharpish and we left…

AlooFar said...

The winner of the Blogville 2009 drinking competition is... ;)

Esmeralda said...

Twinny mi, i will stalk,stalk,stalk o then once i blink and come back,u'ld have put up hundred posts ehn? ko da ba yi o...lol

i've read up sha, started from Tease and as usual u had me in stitches... so i'm waiting for liquor 3 now...but u try o! u've been in many a dicey situations this girl, thank God for his protection.

toodle darling!

Esmeralda said...

i meant toodles!

Toluwa Lase said...

wat did bf say? do?

ibiluv said...

@archiwiz......a pack of ribena cuming ur way for getting here first..........

@geishasong.......liquor is good for u babes.......lol

@archiwiz.......i get guardian angel for school that tyme.......boyf????...with the flimsy gown i had on???.....hin no talk at all o......lol

@nigerican......i don come back.......

@anonoymous gal.......dude would have been a lot sterner if i was decent..*wink*......

@shubby doo.......L would have had a lot of explaining to do ooooooo.....

@Mz Dee....banned me from ever taking alcohol again..........

@Nine........if any thang had happened to moi without my consent......someone would have had to visit a hospital........

.....he tried to be stern but kai i had no underwear on...........*wink*.......

@Invisible......i only learnt that i can hold my alcohol so long as i dont pass my threshold........

@aphrodite......make i drink small small.....i get Uncle whey na liver cirrohis kill am ooooo.....gist don postpone......*wink*.....

@parakeet........how i for do????.....when in rome.............

@Lady koko....leave small laff remain for tomorrow.........

@buttercup.......try am small-u go perform wonders............*wink*......

@tobenna......it is.......

@Uzezi.....u never try concentration before????e tight ooooooooo........

@badderchic.......my sister na hin oooooooo.....

@guerreiranigeriana......no long story..........

@sis.....i no even explain too much sef........

@aloofaa......no try me o.........lol

@twinny......Baba Loke na Baba ooo......

@toluwalase.......not much talking....but sum sweating........*wink*.........