Wednesday, August 20, 2008

KNEADING 1..........

....So i got to surulere 7:28pm
my Aunt was in the living room
i too respect the woman oooooo
na ma mama elder sis
she no gree me kill her only daughter


cousin's laptop has a virus
on my flash or hers.........files no show


on her laptop e dey show
so i practically formatted her laptop
as well as her flash


if it is on her desktop at work
.........it will crash.........


i am flash files-less

mad that i lost office related documents i had on it
can always retrive it though.......

pics and sturvs???
will start a new library

never will i let her touch my stuff again
....never...........

poro luving friend called to apologise
she agrees its partly her fault
cos of her hurry..........


bottom line-i will survive








............4years ago......
i was actively participating in a youth oriented organisation
late night meetings were our speciality........

i was a member of everything
usually holding down exec positions


i had two meetings that night

first meeting was scheduled to hold in my room
9pm-10pm we agreeed........
second meeting was scheduled for 10pm
and would probably last till dawn..........

first meeting in progress......i was cold
i owned this big wrapper.......used it to cover my legs/feet...

dude sitting beside me decided he was also cold
wrapper was big enuff for two
moreover na leg i wan cover........had on a red shorts.........

a few minutes later his hand lands on my lap.....
i dont flinch.............

.......i'm taking minutes..........

a few miniutes later he gets bolder...
i allow his hands to caress.......

.......whilst still ignoring his ministrations......

he moves up...........not even a sigh from me........

...i'm scribbilng so i can later transcribe....

he finds me panties......starts to play with my lips
........i bend down to scratch non itchy feet........
he gains more access...........

..........i hear him gulp.......

.........i'm scribbilng...........

he gets bolder.........
one finger makes an attempt.........
i move closer to edge of the bed......

.....more access...he goes in.....scribbling

he's drooling...........

...........if anyone else in that room noticed .....
they didnt bat an eyelid.........

........he has a field day...........


meeting ends......i usher everyone out........
need to prepare my notes for the next meeting......


he hesitates at the door........

come back after the meeting-i say.......


Does it matter i am 5 years older??????..........
i figured dude needs to practice......

I needed to freshen up.......




......my ex was in the building......
i had bigger fish to fry............**wink**



ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!

At a local college dance, a guy from America
asked the girl from Sweden to dance.


While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze,
and says, “In America, we call this a hug.”


She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too.”


A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek,
and says, “In America, we call this a kiss.”


She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too.”


Toward the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later,
he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to
have sex with her, and says,
“In America, we call this a grass sandwich.”


She says, “Yaaah in Sveden,
we call it a grass sandwich too,
but we usually put more meat in it.”







Three women were sitting around talking
about their sex lives.

The first said, “I think my husband’s like
a championship golfer. He’s spent the last ten
years perfecting his stroke.”


The second woman said, “My husband’s like the
winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into
bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps.”


The third woman was silent until she was asked,
“Tell us about your husband.”


She thought for a moment and said,
“My husband’s like an Olympic sprinter.”


“How so?”


“He’s got his time down to under 11 seconds.”

23 comments:

Afrobabe said...

Firsttttttttttt

Afrobabe said...

LMAO…u don kolo finish oh..
Anyway I had my own case of cradle snatching…but girllllllllll how could u do it without even blinking???

geisha.song. said...

lol at the poor woman with the olympic sprinting husband.
and you! ashawo ten kobo!!
ouch about ur flash...

doll said...

3rd. dats mad mehn. i use to fantasize bout somethin close 2 dat

Mz. Dee said...

hmm.. datz happenend to me once o... in a fast fud.. thre werent much ppl there sha so it didnt really matter.

mhmm..wat went down wen he came back na??

Invisible said...

Kai kai kai. Reminds me of my escapades in public places.

I feel bad for the woman with the olympic swimmer.
Sorry about your files. Word of advice, don't just let any stick in your ports.
Ehm, by stick I meant flash drive and port is USB before people start reading something else.

LG said...

lollllllllllllll @ib, u don 'spoil'
n afro & co r hailing u abi ,shioor
lollll

AlooFar said...

Crazy wife. Maybe she deserves him ;)

ShonaVixen said...

lol @ the Usain Bolt-like husband..poor woman..lol...
public places are the most exciting!!!

miz-cynic said...

aah, agbaya....can't bliv tht u did tht to the lil boy,but tht boy sef too bad,getting bolder and bolder.......

Chari said...

wow crazy shiddd there mayn!

hehehehe....olympic sprinting! That is not ma portion IJN!

rethots said...

"...youth oriented....he has a field day...." did the frequency of the meeting increase?

Jinta said...

i broke the sprinting record: 0.5 seconds. i'm so proud of myself

badderchic said...

as in how long does it take you to get 13 comments?

ol boi, your cousin is lucky she is your cousin o! lol

Toluwa Lase said...

i think every girl has had sumtin similar to this situation...but not flinching? damn!

LMAO @ the sprinter husband!

Free-flowing Florida said...

She says, “Yaaah in Sveden,
we call it a grass sandwich too,
but we usually put more meat in it.” rotflmao

pele abt ur flash. so, wud up? u've lost the info in dem 4ever?

Buttercup said...

aww sorry bout ur flash..

i mean...how cud u not flinch??? wow...

my body betrays me, even with the lightest of touches..

lol @ the jokes

Esmeralda said...

are u for real? u didnt even make a sound? twinny,geez!

under 11 secs, haba! lol @ Chari.

lmao @ the sweden joke.

Shubby Doo said...

lol@ministrations...i laughed all the way through that one. respect for not flinching and being able to keep taking notes...i would have lost control

Uzezi said...

the guy in that night meeting had a good time. i bet u had a swell time too. imagine bending down to give him more access so u could fell the ....

aha.

that virus thing,to be on the safe side, safe in ur yahoo. make folders. they won't get lost.

ibiluv said...

@sis....reserved for u babes!!!!!!!!!

guess its the same as most gals can achieve as my mind no dey dia............

@geisha.song........poor woman.....

@doll.........u go girl!!!!!!!!

@mz.dee.........aparently u were all for it........
i'm gonna ask boo to do that......
fast food....hmmmmmmm....
read part 2 babes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@invisible........oya share this public escapade stories!!!!!

@lg..........no mind me........

@aloofar........no one deserves 11secs..........

@shonavixen..........yes gal!!!!!!!!

@miz-cynic......no mind am-he no get respect!!!!!!!!!!

@chari.........AMEN!!!!!!!!!!

@rethots.....in his dreams.........

@jinta.......0.5 to where?????????

@badderchic...she lucky die.........

@toluwalase.........babe na concentration no make me flinch oooooooo
kai....that kain hubby-i go dash person..........

@fff............i did...everything don go oooooo....

@buttercup............if a guy i dont have the hots for touches me
.........no show oooooooo..........

@twinny.........i am for real-ordinarily i would have been disgusted at his touch but i decided to teach him.......
allow him experience what *older* people do....lol

@shubby doo......its all a state of the mind.........

Lady Koko said...

11 SECONDS??BUHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

...WOW.....now have i had that sort of experience b4??? hmmm
p.s:xoxo

ibiluv said...

@lady koko..dat na bad thing oooooo