Tuesday, September 2, 2008

5 Thrusts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7years ago.....was in sch...well it was one of them
outings with that club of mine where we like
late night meetings.......

went from our uni to another 2hrs drive away.....
1 female and 3 guys

3hrs later-this dude is shatting me up.....
i'm loving the attention-one of the dudes i travelled
with from my uni had been trying to date moi for about
6 months so he wasnt enjoying the attention i was getting
or the fact that i was obviously loving it....

dude chatting me up-lets call him Jay-stays glued to my side...
all this while guy from my school-(lets call him Sean)
his frown gets darker by the minute.....

we've been there 6 hours....meetings done-
it was tyme to joli..........
Jay's crooning in my ears-next thing i know he's
asking me to marry him-dude has known me 6 hrs.....

i'm basking in the attention not believing a word
of all the love he is professing-he(S)is married
with a pregnant wife so i know
he just needs to get laid cos he's not been
getting any at home.....

fast forward to midnight i'm tired-dude(Jay) no gree mi dance
so i'm tired from the inactivity i say i wanna sleep
he offers me a bed-we usually have this late nite sturvs
in hotels-so i go in-he decides to lie beside mi-
i'm too tired to bother

next thing i know he's touching-i just let him be
he gets bolder i swat his hands off

he keeps at it
i decide-make i see werrin he wan do

...........the twins are freed
i'm looking into his eyes
no longer feigning sleep
he keeps at it

bra off
shirt off
jeans off
pants off
i pause.........

he says pleassssssssseeeeeeee
i ask why he is begging(ish pisses me off like crazy)


he says let me in-
just the head
i ask how that will help him
he pleads
pls just let mi thrust 5 times
so i tell him
make it worth ur while cos you are only gonna get 5


he puts on protection
he goes in.........(nice)
first.......second.......fifth.....

i slide out
get up
dress up and walk out

his jaw must have been on the floor............

back in the hall
i pull up 3 chairs
made miself a makeshift bed and doze.....

news travels....no?
cos Sean found out
not sure if Jay bragged or if Paul a pal of Sean said
sumthing cos he saw me come out of the room with Jay.........

all i know is Sean insulted/abused/teased
me the whole 2 hr drive back to our uni the next day

i didnt even bat an eyelid
i let him rant
all the while reading a novel..........

its my vagina............no?????
i can dash whom i wish

45 comments:

Toluwa Lase said...

am first! yay!
lemme go read...

Toluwa Lase said...

yesso! u can dash whoever...

Lol@ just 5 thrusts...who says that?

Shubby Doo said...

Lmao...reading while s rants...only 5 thrusts 4 j...like u say it's your vagina!

Afrobabe said...

2ndddddddddddd

fantasy queen said...

yes ooo, na u get am, and u can dash whoever as u please, five thrust or more. lmao

Chari said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

5? I need to do that sometime...

*practice*

Babe: Chari....take me now!!!

Chari: Nope

Babe: Pleeeaasseee!!!

Chari: Only 5

Babe: Jus take me...

*5 thrusts later*

Chari: Byebye...na ma koboko..I fi flog anybody i want!

LMAO....I go do am o and I go come give testimony...

Dark cat said...

haha!!!!!!!! lmao!!!! as in this is jokes!!!
wish i was bold enuff to try that....oh well...some of us have it and some dnt!!!! sigh!!

badderchic said...

TO ALL!

I LOVE IBILUV

no gay shit here no way, I'm straighter than a pole but sheet!

I'M loving this babe!

I mean it IS MY poosy ainnit?

Afrobabe said...

lmao...yes oh...na u get the vajeje...hahahhahaha

Funms said...

lmao..... gurl ur crazy.... u counted for him? its true o, its urs, do what u please with it.

lol @ chari

Lady Koko said...

oh ma gosh!!!!!!!!!BUHAhahahahahh!!!!!!!!!!1 u have topped anotha level !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11buhahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!"plsssssss just 5 times" lolololol....oh ma gosh!!!!!!!!SEE THIS IS WHY I LOVE BLOG MEHNNN..WHERE ELSE WILL YOU HEAR SUCH STORIES....BUHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!WOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S:XOXO

Lady Koko said...

NO SERIOUSLY.....I Agree with BADDERCHIC OOOOOOOOOO...IBILUV DESERVES AN AWARD!!!!!!!!!!!11 i still can get this out of my head....I THINK AM GONNA EXPLODE IF I LAUGH ANYMORE....plssssss permit me to share wiv my bestfriend!!!!!!!!
p.s:xoxo

Sting said...

LOL..... i just couldn't help laughing at ur last comment. Nothing do u, na u get am!

Afrobabe said...

lmao @ chari...yeah...but me thinks you will forget the counts oh....lets see how u do

Enigma said...

CRAZY!!!!!

Ibi, i didnt know you were this wicked!!

Chari, you be mad man!

Twix! said...

Abi o. The guy doesnt have faith o. They say ask and yea shall recieve. He shoulda asked for the whole works now if he knew

Jaguda said...

heavy sturves. 5 strokes in the punny and all of a sudden, darling ibiluv gets up and goes. classic

geisha.song. said...

i thought J was the one shatting you up, and S was the jealous guy from ur school, so why would S's friend talk about it and why would J insult you all the way back?
i'm so confused.

Esmeralda said...

5 thrusts! this is what i'll tag "Vagina Dialogues"

lol

Sprezatura said...

thats real torture, im sure the guy obviously didnt tell anyone the 5 thrust story,

" Oboy you wan try as i take the girl, the girl sabi holler o, i even think say people hear"

that might be his version of events.

Chari, i support you, but again afro is right.

doll said...

LMAO. I can imagine d guy would be as hard as a rock. Which kain punishment did he impose on himself? LOL

Invisible said...

WOW!!!
This is wickedness on another level, lol.
Kai! The guy sef dumb small so it serves him right.

Free-flowing Florida said...

ibiluv! u no go kill me!

chari! u too!!!

abeg una

Aphrodite said...

lol...
u dey craze no be small.

5 thrusts ke? You get serious self control o

Updating very soon o. Hope u've got my gift ready.

NaijaBloke said...

Feeling ur blog !!!

miz-cynic said...

i no kno say u get scion scion 4 heaa reach dis level o.u b bad ass chic men.chari!!!

Nigerican said...

1,2,3,4,4 1/2, 4 1/3, 4 1/4... 5 lmao. U my dear r classic . Dash away my dear... dem go hate becos u no give them.

N.I.M.M.O said...

You are joking me!
... Heard this story before. I sincerely hope you're not ..... No, it can't be.

This club, is it the J?

wellsbaba said...

babe,r u for real?!!!...it wasnt only d guy who had is jaw on d floor o,wen i finished readin I was left flabbergasted...yeah I know females put males on d edge by givin dem a "tip of d iceberg" but hey,dis one is MAD!

Sabira said...

lmao@ thrust counts. you are wicked oh!

mizchif said...

Chai babe, u r not only crazy, but wicked as well!
But i swear i loooooooooove what you did, serves d yeye man right.
Pisses me off when guys do that whole "just the head" .
Like are you for real, like do i look like a 2yr old to you?

Iyalode said...

lmaooooo, funny story right there.
but you are right though, na u get veevee, u fit give who u want :p

*Lady D* said...

Hello! First time commentor, i've read your blog a couple of times, love it!! and you're a great writer and hilarious as well.
Now for this post, you're a trip, this is hilarious!!!!!
I go do this to my man some time when he makes me mad.lmao!!!!!!!

Freaksho said...

five pumps.
next time dude, define the DURATION of each thrust.

Parakeet said...

Lol ibiluv, this is not true is it?

Adekunle Shobowale said...

you can't be serious mami.I mean really....

ablackjamesbond said...

lol...i have given up on u.

kay-shawn said...

5 Thrusts??? Wow! Some guys dont even need up to 5 thrusts to come. LOL

Anyway, just came to tell you that my chat-up/pick-up line competition has already started on http://www.datingoops.com.

miz-cynic said...

u been tag as my first commentator....wo is tht right na commentator now ,,,to do the meme...dont say no o

NaijaBabe said...

shet...
na mehn

ibiluv said...

@toluwa lase.......a box of green peas coming ur way for being first....i guess dude was sure i was gonna get carried away

@shubby doo.......yea babes......its miine!!!!!!!

@afrobabe....3rd sis.....

@fantasy queen......na so i see am oooooooo

@chari........u sure say 5 thrusts later u go wan comot????
but i await the testimony....lol

@dark cat.........u can.....just try it.....

@badder chic.........LOVE U TOO DEAR!!!!!!!!!
yes babes-thats all he asked for.........

@sis...na so......

@funms.......mind chari not......i go school.....1.2.3....

@lady koko........i aim to please dear.......u can share dear....

@sting......mwah!!!!!!!

@sis........i also await his testimony..........

@enigma.....me wicked...ask and u shall be given......

@twix.......he should have.......i can be generous to a fault....lol

@jaguda.........its so easy.........1.2.3.....

@geisha.song....S's pal saw me step outta the room he may
have said something to S or J(who chatted me up -asked for 5 thrusts and thats all he got)
he may have bragged about what *we* did in the room.....
S insulted me not J
i no dash am-i come dash someone else.........

@twinny......nice ring to it!!!!!!!!

sprezatura........i'm sure that was his version
which is why i am sure S got mad and he dished out insults.......

@doll.........i no send am ooooo

@invisible.......with u...serves him right........

@fff........*innocent look*.......werrin i do????

@aphrodite........babe.....my self control is outta this world!!!!!!

@naijablog........thanks!!!!!!!

@miz-cynic........i get plenty!!!!!!!

@nigerican.....u sef gree say na cos i no give S na hin make am vex like that.....i concur

@n.i.m.m.o.....no i aiint......t'was a hotel in IB.......

@wellsbaba.......he doesnt read his bible enuff....ask and.......

@sabira....i am....*evil grin*.......

@miz-cynic.......my point exactly........head only my black ass........

@iyalode......yep.......

@*lady d*......blush.......tell me if it works........

@freaksho.......he should have.......

@parakeet....sadly i have a crazy habit of being truthful on my blog.........

@adekunle shobowale.......seroius i am......

@007.....awwwwwww...plssss....i'll behave berra next tyme......

@kay shawn.....not needing up to 5 thrusts..i reject by fire........

@miz-cynic.........done it babes.......

@naijababe........na so i see am oooooooo

Omo calabar. said...

Shei. U wicked well well o. only 5 thrusts? Gal u are a badass. Damn the guy must have had to wank off that night to let off steam.

ibiluv said...

@omo.calabar...thats all he asked for......

rethots said...

....no faith had he.

Hail...

ibiluv said...

@rethots...........exactly!!!!!!!