Monday, September 15, 2008

You Bit Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was the year 2000-the month of september.............
i was on a camping trip with mi late night loving club to one of the northern states

got my first ride on a bike-(okada) t'was fun

another opportunity to meet and make new friends-males and females...
as well as new toasters

so i met C
goodlooking but fair skinned
looked,talked,walked,acted like a man with a string of girls(exactly the type of guy who wont get a whiff)

i made a female pal-we fast became close
dude would spend day tyme with moi-promise me heaven and earth

and spend evening tyme with my new female pal..........he must have got a kick from it

one of them nights we had a competition
u loose......u down half a bottle of small stout

at the end of the game i had a bottle in me

he had downed 2 small bottles

he looked,acted,talked tipsy........a man who cant handle his alcohol i cant stand.......

i do remember that on the last night of camp-dude said to mi-
if i leave without shagging you Ibi-i don fuck up

that was enuff reason to let his woody hang
(even didnt look interesting)

i told him to go to my new female pal-she may be more receptive.......
he this day i have no idea if she was a lot kinder than i was..........

three years later
we hook up in lagos

he invites me to motherland
i love Lagbaja but hadnt been............
so i accepted

fateful friday-we hook up
the ride we were gonna go with-acted up
we grab a cab and head there

he offers popcorn-no
a drink-alcohol-no

dont u want anything??
i'm fine

all i want.........u already gave
watching Lagbaja perform live!!!!!!!!!!

he downs two big bottles
gets louder by the min
i aiint fazed

there were other acts,comedians all

i had funnnnnnnnnnnn

we leave at 4am
too early to head to mine
we head to his

we get to his
i'm beat
head to his room
lie down

my senses are on red alert...
i had on a knee length skirt with a slit

true to type
a while later his hands start to wander
i sit up and without mincing words

i aiint no virgin
i do like sex
but i aiint fucking you
not tonight
not ever
if you are not gonna let me get an hours sleep before i head to mine
i can go wait the hour in the living room

but then again i dey wonder.........
how safe will i be with his druken flatmates
if i head to the living room....

sorry he says......i'll let you be

i fall asleep
a while later i feel his hands on me

i try to get up
dude gets rough

i'm trying to free myself
stop.....relax he says
stop.....chill he says
stop.....please he says

he gets rougher
he says.....please i need this

i realise no be joke o
this guy go fuck me o
abi na rape me sef at this rate


i'm close to tears
pls stop....pls stop....pls......

yeeepaa.......his finger in my punny????
i dont want this i say......u are wet he says

this realisation gives him ammo
na so dude wan tear pant ooooooooo

ah for this Lagos?????

i must have tasted blood

he screams.......arrrrgggghhhh
YOU BIT ME!!!!!!!!

na so he release me
i scuttle away......grab mi bag/shoes

as i dey waka commot i still dey hear
Ibi......u bit me...........

i no look back o

wait he says
for where??????

i get to his gate-locked
i was ready to tear it down
was about to go wake up his flatmate(s)

Baba Loke loves mi o
his neighbour steps out
opens the gate

Good morning i say
the guy dey look mi one kain
i no send ooo
walk as fast as possible

get to the busstop
get a bus to maryland

na so i begin shake
abi na shiver
abi na convulse(my doctor says na shock)

i cry small sef
the guy beside me for bus dey look mi

i just dey think am
ahhhhhhhhhh na so them dey rape person oooooooo

i get to maryland
by now C has called 8 times
i aiint picking
get a cab-to mine

got home
had a bath

lights off
windows drawn
fones on silent

go to bed(must have been 9 am)

i wake up about 5 pm(no nightmares)
i return all missed calls
except C's............

call mi closest pal
we talk about it
laff about it

i finally pick his 30th call.....
about 9 pm

i'm calmhi i say

i'm so sorry he says
i didnt mean to be rough
i just wanted you soooooooooo bad
you do things to me

in fact you had me in knots all night
i do apologise
but Ibi..........
you didnt have to bite me
i would have stopped if i realised you really didnt want me

i said
ah u for no stop o
you were like an animal
beyond reasoning
i wasnt taking chances
you for do.............
then blame it on the alcohol

i like u C
i could never date u though
and i sure as hell aiint fucking u

but i do forgive u
as for biting you...........i'm glad i did

take care of u
thanks for taking me to motherland
i had fun

i honestly felt no animosity towards him

but if he had entered


no be only bite i for bite am o
i wasnt suspected to be a female cultist in school for nothing o
i had/have certain tendencies...........


badderchic said...


badderchic said...

den den den den, I just hard to mark my spot.


funny/ scary story, hope you bit him deep. there should be a reminder on his body for life.

fluffycutething said...


You try oh...

"many" haven't been so lucky and then he coulda turned more violent from your "attack" on him!!!!

Invisible said...

Dang! Well, you had to do what you had to do to escape.
They say fight OR flight, you did both, lol.

Free-flowing Florida said...

u took a lot of risk, love. a damn lotta risk

Funms said...

lmao.......... bet it wasnt really funny then...
glad u bit him..... lol @ u do things to me. haba! dude cant control, he see good thing, e wan enter (my pidgin sucks bad)
but ur very brave girl!

archiwiz said...

Mmmm...For real ohh...that was a serious risk. Thank goodness nothing happened.

Just...Toluwa said...

ehn...strong thing! u seem like a fast thinker, but that was risky!

Freaksho said...

shoulda bitten lower, tho. give the sonovabitch a sex change.

miz-cynic said...


Anonymous said...

the guy is psycho. it's crazy how he thought he could defend his actions because he 'needed it so bad'. shio.
all these 'coded' rapists. so many women go thru this shit.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Oh my God what a jerk
I think you just need to stay away from this dude,
Next time you might not be so lucky
No show or night out on earth is worth the risk of getting raped.
Good thing though that you were strong to stand your ground and flee.

Twix! said...

Ahhhh!LMOA. Its not funny o. Thank sha

Afrobabe said...

Lmao…oh glad to meet a fellow suspect…they all tot my confidence had to stem from somewhere…almost got raped this weekend by a guy I went out with…he pressed me down and I started yelling…he got up quickish…we be naija…but we dey obodo oyibo…they no dey joke with rape…lmao…I should have biten him though…

Jarrai said...

Correct Girl...i hope he needed sticthes!! Stupid coward of a man...

Glad ur instincts kicked in early...seriously some men are like dogs.

Red Sapphire said...

Ibiluv..u blog is someplace i look forward to.I can't stop laffing.Sorry sha even though it shouldnt be that funny.Damn..u bit me ko...u should have bitten off his ear.
I am glad u're so ok and can laugh about it.

doll said...

LOL. you should have given him the flying kick

exschoolnerd said...

lol..good for u oh..e good as u bite am!!!

Enigma said...

Lucky you!!!

To bite is better than to be bitten!!!

Mz. Dee said...

female cultist!! girl thank god u have sharp teeth!!!!!!!!!

theicequeen said...

hahahahah! good one o! when ish is important we no dey try fight like for bit the morrasucka! lol...i'd be very scared in that kinda situation o! that same thought would be goin through my mind.."na so dem dey rape people o!"..

haven't been here in a min...i feel so ashamed :(

Red Sapphire said...

Ibiluv...i can't say it are deserving of this award on every are very real.
Follow the link...

princesa said...

Narrow escape for you o!
I wouldnt dare go home with a drunken guy in my life again. Tried it once and meen that's story for another blog.

This ur tendencies...hmmm, i'll like to know more o,lol!

Esmeralda said...

ah! why didnt i think of that?

Esmeralda said...

the funny thing is that i recently wondered how come u had no rape or near-rape story with all the risk u take and fun u have!

i'm glad he didnt rape u twin, mighty glad.

LG said...

serves him rite!! nansense
ib, oya gba ti'e
norrin do u

BTW : u say u belong to wetin????
i don remove d cotton pub for ear, :)

NaijaBabe said...

shit I am so scared right now. Mehn good thing u bolted o

Shubby Doo said...

Why some guys don't understand that no means no...happy u bit...i had a self defence instructor tell me 2 bite a man's penis and make sure i rip it clean off...cultish...ibiluv u be something else

Afronuts said...


I looove the way you write.
so vivid yet so brief and concise and straight to the point.

yu make a long post look short!
Thank God u bit the magana - anumanu!

Lady Koko said...

buhahahahahh!!!!!!!!!!!1 OHHHHH MA GOSSSSSSSSH!!!!!!!!!!!1 THAT WAS CRAZZZZZZZZY...HMMMM.i;ll be damnned!!!!!!!!!!!
glad u fought back

James Tubman said...

absolutely amazing

you aint nobody to be fucked with

guys are so dangerous now because of the objectification of women in this society and the over indulgence in alcohol

i never tried to rape a woman like he did

but i got a little extra frisky

but whe they said stop

i stopped and i was out the door because most of the time i was at their place

im a gentleman

ibiluv said...

@badder.......packet of gala coming your way.....
the guy always refers to it so he sure didnt forget!!!!!!!!!

@fluffy.....babe i gat belt in.......

@invisible......bros i had to ooooooooooo

@fff....not all guys dont understand no!!!!i know quite a few.....

@funms....thanks dearie...... Baba Loke o.........

@just...toluwa......i was only gonna doze for an hour how bad is that???

@freak........bitten lower???dude would have had an orgasm......

@miz-cynic....well guy would think again next tyme he hears stop....stop....