Professional Toasting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Girl,

I am very happy to inform you that I have feelings for
you since Tuesday, the 17th of August.

With reference to the meeting held between us on the
17th of August at 1500 hours, I would like to present
myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would
be on probation for a period of three months and
depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.
Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be
continuous on-the-relationship training and
relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion
from lover to spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment
would initially be shared equally between us. Later,
based on your performance, I might take up a larger
share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded
enough, to be taking care of on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of
receiving this letter, failing which; this offer would
be canceled without further notice and shall be
considering someone else. I would be happy, if you
could forward this letter to your sister, if you do
not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation.

Yours sincerely

THE MAN




TOP TEN PICK UP LINES!!!!!!!!!!!

10- Could I touch your belly button... from the inside?
9- If you were a burger at McDonald's, I'd call you McBeautiful.
8- Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
7- My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
6- How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
5- You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
4- Your tag says Made in USA, but I could have sworn you were made in heaven.
3- I hope you have a library card because I'm checking you out.
2- Excuse me, do you have a Band-Aid because I scraped my knee when I fell for you.
1- I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?

Selfish

So my cousin-B got married over the weekend
I am older than her by 4 days
So EVERYONE kept asking,wondering,speculating.......
when my turn will come

my turn?I have no idea
i just know it will happen
i also know i will be a good wife and mother
and then be less selfish
K says i am(anoda female cousin)

so i told her-K
'single people tend to be selfish'
(i heard it somewhere)
anyways i cant bother being nice to anyone other than family

the most important person to me
is me.....for now....*wink*

Virginity

My cousin says virginity is not virtue
It is the absence of opportunity

True?

a pal of mine just caught the blogging bug,
i think he is cool
doubleo-doubleo

Na wa oooo

Someone i know is in uk-illegally
u know when u are in a foreign land
without a green card hence u must not have a skirmish with the authourities???

well he dey dia with hin fiancee
both of them searching for the golden fleece in uk
hoping to 'hammer' someday and come back home to a grand wedding

well his ex goes to uk on a visit
and he decides to visit her
told a fib to fiancee and heads out

got on the wrong bus with a wrong ticket and conductor nab am
was to pay a fine of 20pounds but he no get for pocket
na so conductor call olopa(police)

na so omo boy begin see naija o
he cried..... serious ooo...he cry
but common sense prevailed thru the tears and he called his ex

she rushes out to go save him
pays the fine and explains to olopa the mix-up

well na so he for find himself for naija
cos he wan go tap that ass.............
not to mention infidelity
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Purpose!!!!!!!!!

What is your purpose in life?

When i was younger........my purpose was to be a good mother and wife
I lost that focus years back

My focus now is to laze around but not know poverty
*wink*

But really,to what purpose are we in the world for?

Do u know yours?

Dating mishaps

A friend of mine says the fumes she inhaled
after her home was fumigated must be affecting her
She hasnt gotten any date since then
I think this is her being funny
Or.....guys?will a lady put u off a la if she asphyxiates you?
LOL
have a swell weekend u all..........

MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Men play at love to get sex?

Women play at sex to get love

Rings true to me
any contrary opinion?

Stolen from teediva

Recently discovered teediva’s blog
went thru her blog
got hooked and found this
decided to try it

1.WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? Jeans, top and platforms

2. WHAT KINDA UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING? Sexy black bra and g-string

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Aroma-Olu maintain & Pasuma

4. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Nah

5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Yam porridge

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? black.

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Cool-its early yet

8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Mi brother

9. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? His command of the English language

10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? no one sent it to me, saw it on teediva’s blog...

11. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? yea

12. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? content

13. FAVOURITE DRINK? pineapple juice

14. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Baileys on ice

15. FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAL? Jollof rice & plaintain

16.FAVOURITE SPORTS? Football (to watch), volleyball (to act like i can play-but i made my nysc platoon proud in 2004 when i finished an opposing platoon)

17.HAIR COLOUR? Almost black

18. EYE COLOUR? Brown

20.TATTOOS OR PIERCING? Tattoos-not yet/piercings-ears only

21.STAR SIGN? Libra

22. FAVOURITE MONTH? Oct? cos i was born in Oct

24.FAVOURITE FOOD? Amala ,ewedu and fish-yummy

25.LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Erin Brockovich.

27. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Any day i make extra cheddars!!!!!

28. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? Nah-if i am interested and he is too slow/shy to ask-i will ask him.

29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS BETTER? Scary-cynical about love at the moment

30.SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer

31. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs-almost anyone, kisses-only to get my freak on....*wink*?

32. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships plssssssssss.

33.CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? chocolate

34. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? ???

35. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Have no idea

36. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Beats me!!!!!!!!!!!

37. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING NOW?

38. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I am mouse-pad less!!!!!!!

39.FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? Scrabble

40. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Watched movies

41. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? anoda day to be grateful for.

42. WHICH DO YOU BELIEVE, EVOLUTION OR CREATION? Creation........ no be God?????



ANODA STOLEN FROM HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1.How old were you the first time? 19-he thot i was 21

2.)Name of your first? T

3.) Good or Bad? definitely not a bed of roses

4.) Name of the worst and why? J-guy thot pumping was all that mattered-slam, bam....never again!!!!!!!!!

5.) Name of the best and why? L-t’was always mind blowing, i had crazy love for the guy-he just knew what to do to get mi juices flowing!

6.) Weirdest place you ever had sex? on the roof.

7.) Favorite Position: as long as i am getting pleasured-makes no difference

8.) Ever fake an orgasm? No-u either give me one or u dont

9.) Would you admit it if the person asked? Yes, I have/would

10.) Favorite time of day to have sex? Early morn just b4 dawn.

11.) Most times you have had sex in one day? Wasnt counting

12.) Same person? Hell yea.

13.) Ever fantasize about someone other than the one you’re with? Nah

14.) Restrictions during sex? none

15.)Accessories?None yet

16.)What? Yea........

17.) Done it in the rain? Does drizzling count?

18.)Done it in a car? Yea

19.) Had a Threesome? Wont ever happen

20.) Want to have sex now? Mayb later........

Happy Birthday Ibi

Yipee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am 29-today
in the last 5 years,my birthday was melacholic
(my making)
cos i didnt achieve the goals i set for myself
but i have been/am grateful cos I am able to say
THANK YOU to Him for another yr
for good health
eyes that see though myopic
legs that walk
arms that carry
a nose that can smell a lot that isnt its biz(anoda blog)
a mouth that houses a luscious smile
a voice fit for radio if not a career as a singer
a lovely personality
confidante to many

This yr I have done away with the melancholy
Its my last yr as a 20yr old
things can only get better in my 30's
I am glad to be alive/happier than i have been in a while
grateful for those who love me genuinely(and i love back)
wary of those who love me in bits/from far
sure of the fact,the man whose rib i have in me will find me soon
(he is the one whose searching-for his missing rib)*wink*
aware i will get a windfall of money-job?lottery?
who cares-as long as it cures this fear of poverty

so i am just chilling
and i will have a fun filled sunday with family/friends
though no one can feast till evening (ramadan)

but for u all who wanna groove
there will be a shindig next yr
its the 3-0

have a splendid day/week u all
MWAH

Safety?

Heard 2face was shot.....
he is in hospital..........
wont the robbers stop?
he was robbed 2yrs ago
and he had to use the neck brace.....
get well soon

marathon runner

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. On one wet and lusty day, she was in bed with her lover when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

"Oh my God - hurry! Grab your clothes," she yelled to him. "Jump out the window. My husband's home early!"

"I can't jump out the window, it's raining out there!" came the reply from beneath the sheets.

"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. "He's got a very quick temper and a very large gun! The rain is the least of your problems."

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window. As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon. So he started running alongside the others about -- 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to "blend in" as best he could. It wasn't that effective! After a little while, a small group of runners, who had been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.

"Oh yes," he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free having the air blow over all your skin while you're running."

Another runner moved alongside. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?"

"Oh, yes," he answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!"

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"

"Only if it's raining."