Sunday, February 1, 2009

Weight & February..........

weighed my cousin yesterday...........
his father refuses to pick him....he weighs 16.4kg

we call him *eru ti o se ji gbe*(kidnappers cant get him)

he'll be two in april
i weighed 12kg at age 10
i remember cos we were weighed in school and i got the nickname cockroach
my mum came to school to warn my classmates and the silly ass teacher that gave me the name to desist from calling me such

next guy that a bloody nose

next person who got me REALLY mad *has* a chipped tooth

i'm VERY VERY slow to anger
the holy book says.......the best amongst men is he who can control his anger

the few times i've lost it
i've done things i *should* regret

i'm VERY vindictive
being able to control my anger is therefore a VERY good thing

at 12 some classmate told me he liked me
i didnt give a hoot

at 14 he sang the song again
i almost maimed him

at 15 the whole school must have *talked* to me on his behalf
i did start to date him
all he ever got out of it.........
was a side hug and hand holding

at 15 and half
next guy who liked me
used to read me poems
nice.....very nice
he stole a peck on my lips one night

at 17 i saw a pair of biceps and i forgot my name
dated him 6 months
fell in love........the first time
he had my heart and got my pussy
he didnt know what to do with it
(he was an 18 yr old virgin....forgive him.....*wink*)

at 19 i dated a guy 8 years older
he got my virginity but not my heart

at 22 i gave my body but not my heart
three years later......he got married

at 25 i tried to repeat *my previous arrangement*
but i lost my heart again at 28
sadly he wanted someone else

its been three years.........
all i'm willing to give is friendship
if i throw in my body........its my body

its february again
some guys are gonna start inventing stories
some will break up to make up later

what ever is on your plate
eat with relish

i'm gonna be pampering myself that day
not sure yet
a spa
movie(s) and good food
a good bout(s) of
mind melting
grammy award win soundtrack inducing
earth shattering

sex will be appreciated.............


Anonymous said...

errr sweets - love the roll down of past loves men.
tis a good thing.
Err me sef - sex on the 14th will be greatly appreciated.

Freaksho said...

you can count your men! arent you just a regular goody two shoes? *wink*
here's hoping your val plans come true.
you need am. ;)

Funms-the rebirth said...

i wont mind some earth shattering vals day sex too but thats in like the wildest of my wildest dream.. which CAN NEVER come true....
what have they been feeding ur cousin......
oh i shall eat my broken heart on the plate with relish

~Sirius~ said...

Ha Temite.......always keeping her spot.Ha!
What's up with your cousin?! Is he on some Formula or what?

SweetHeart Pamper away! As Loreal will say "Because you are worth it"

Ermmm....About the earth shattering sex * scratching head, How are we gonna sort that one out?

miz-cynic said...

vals day for would rather be spent alone than with some guy i dont dig simply cos im available and he asked...i'd rather do the spa and chinese to treat myself i envy tht u're so free about ur sexuality.

In my head and around me said...

You have to hate teachers like that, giving children issues!

Writefreak said...

I hate when you get nicknamed for being small, sod that teacher. I remember in secondary school, i got nicknamed
'prem' (premature) for being small. I would hear it everywhere as i passed, atimes it made me cry...amazingly, most of those pple can't stand up to me now!

bArOquE said...

that child should be starved...
two vindictive people no go good to do Valentine oh...i like your life-love story, alas when i was 18yrs i knew the ins&outs of a pussy), what he missed! must be appreciated!

Intimacy said...

Sounds like a sad story. So how do you feel like spending that day. Me and you will be doing the same thing so why don't we spend it together. And pls don't read between the lines coz therez no message there. Cheers baby.

Intimacy said...

@ miss cynic How would you be spending your val's day. Wanna spend it with a blogger that's not hiding his identity.

Isi said...

lol! this is sooooo crazy!

have a happy vals day girl whether it comes with 'benefit' or not.

CaramelD said...

Ibiluv, I want to comment but first please...
@Temite, do you have a computer program that tells you when people have written? LOL!!

@Intimacy, you had me laughing out loud! Your approach is nothing if not unique!

IBILUV! They need to intervene with your cousin quick quick before he spends his teens etc miserable. I would stick with the spa on vals day dearie at least you know what you are getting yourself in for xx

AlooFar said...

Your dream will come true. I know.
Damn, good heavens! Ibiluv is one kain blogger!

Lady Koko said...

.....buahhaahhaahh!!!!!!!OH WHATEVER SHALL WE DO WITH/WITHOUT YOU IBI!!!!!!!
p.s: hmmm...valentines day....A STORY SHALL BE TOLD..THATS FOR SURE!

Jinta said...

earth shattering sounds much better

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

girl your cousin needs to lose weight asap, that is not healthy for a child of two,
as for Valentines Day, I might not get laid but im definitely putting a hefty dent into some sucker's bank account.

Lolia said...

why does 16kg sound really small to me right now? maybe it's because i'm used to people talking in the 50s and 60s since we're all older now...I really can't remember how much i weighed at that age but I remember always thinking i was overweight even though no one actually called me fat...i'm still like that now come to think of it...

Anyway Happy New Month :)

Afrobabe said...

wish I could say I was going to pamper myself on that day but truth is I will get a man for the day..

ohhh well, that is actualy pampering myself innit?

Tigeress said...

Saturday Feb.14th is gonna be like any other Saturday for me.

Ovay West said...

i do not believe in valentine's day, maybe its because i only get gifts from ara okos and not those i really love.

mike said...


LusciousRon said...

Hmmn. Hope you get the award winning sex.

You are something else, giving all the men in your life the blog roll? Superb!

Pamper away, you must love yourself first before loving another abi.

Jaguda said...

IBILUV...........i salute u

Smaragd said...

Twinny, enrol little cousin at a nearby gym sharpish!

the 14th, hmmmm, the 14th.. why did u have to remind me of the 14th?

Smaragd said...

oh and i tagged u, i know i never do my tags, so u are not obligated

rethots said...


Buttercup said...

wow..ur cuz shud be placed on a diet..

u really sound like someone i'd never wanna mess

i hope u have a surprisingly fabulous val's day! lets know how it goes!

Vera Ezimora said...

Ibiluv, you're a retard for real. LOL. Your two year old cousin weighs 36 pounds? LOL. Hahahaha. lol @ kidnappers not stealing him.

Babe, I no know wetin I go do for Valentine either ooo! I have written an article about it; will put it up next week 4 the world to see.

ablackjamesbond said...

lol @ 'eru ti o se ji gbe'...that boy needs to fast for a year!

Rose said...

Let's know how far on that earth shattering sexperience ay?

badderchic said...

This makes plenty sense.

Pamper myself in EVERYWAY. o make sense.

SHE said...

LOL at the men who will "break up to make up later", cheapskates, all of 'em!

Spicytee said...

You sure have been there babes..
I'm trying to plan a small get 2 gether on val day 4 me cos is my bithday too...But pepper is doin ojoro..

But whether am celebrating on not.. I will spend the day indoor with my family(Unless I see one boy wey fit scope me small)..LOL
Mama Ibeji sef wan cook twins beans.I'm inviting all single bloggers 2 come chop.

But I wont have mind sex too,but with someone I do really care about.

ibiluv said...

@Temite.....Gold!!!!!!!!-you want a gold bar as your prize or what????you and me and me.....

@Freak....yes hon-i can count them...goody two shoes maybe not...good girl...hell yea!!!...*sigh*...the spa or the shag????

@Funms....never say never....he eats...everything.....broken heart-u wan chop am??you don turn cannibal??? he is long as its going near your mouth-he'll want some as well...i am shey??? too dearie...i have no idea how i'm gonna sort that out-maybe for once i should check my archives file????

@miz-cynic.....i never said spend the day-all i'm looking for is sex,that's me*wink*... mind the yeye true....

@Baroque....starved...he's only almost two ooo....wetin conern vindictiveness with shagging????...if not you who else for sabi all at 18..erm okay maybe Ubong????

@Intimacy....sad how???spend day together???will you buy me ice cream????*fluttering eyelids*

@Isi...i plan to you say...benefits included or not...*wink* too dear..have a swell one!!!!!! mind Temite o....yea intimacy has the jokes....sweets we don dey starve am alone???so i wont get to share my luscious body with anyone after getting it revitalised????ah!!!!!

@Aloofar...amen....which kain???

@Lady Koko....maybe not a lot babes....*wink*...amen....

@Jinta.....bless you...mwah!!!!!

@MDM....i think the 1-1-0 is working...we changed the diet.....please do(the dent)...*evil grin*

@Lolia....16kg is a lot on a child....same to you dearie

@Sis...pamper away..i dey your back...need to get one sharpish!!!!! cakes???

@Ovay sucks sometimes...but some will say..half bread......

@Mike.....those who are currently starving so they can splurge think not.....

@Luscious Ron...I hope so too dear...*sigh*i did abi????..oh i will pamper away.....

@Jaguda....right back at ya mister....

@Twinny....gym???you wicked o...i did abi????*wink*

@Rethots....all this your hmmmmmm

@Buttercup...he's too young for a diet o..but all he gets for dinner now na fruits...dont mess with moi...*wink*....i'll gist you-not to worry-dry or juicy

@Vera...he does for wanna see a picture?????they have to grunt vefore you can pick him...wetin you know whey dem dey take val do sef????*wink*

@Rose...will keep ya posted..... does...*evil grin*

@She...they will o...akushes

@Spicytee...where the address at???? wicked o...he cant even survive...awe funfun

Banky W said...

I *love* your blog.

If u could sing too, u'd put half of us out of business.

ibiluv said...


love urs too cos u are so down to earth........

i could be ur back up singer cos i *can* sing...........*wink*