Its friday again and.....

........i was about to alight
this slim thing decided to shoot out
i blocked her progress and i almost fell

so i started to speak
thought to let it go...

she stopped and said talk now........

i said why did u do that????

she started to rant and i gave her the high five
talk to the hand....

she hisses and says
oh...sef...na
talk to the finger.......

i didnt bother....it just made it clearer to me
she wasnt worth my spit...............



TGIF U ALL

An angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his
breath and lipstick on his collar.

“I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to
come waltzing in here at six o’clock in the morning?”

“There is,” he replied. “Breakfast.”







On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,
Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her
95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied,
“He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.”

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years
old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

“Oh no, my dear,” replied Granny. “Many years ago, realizing our advanced
age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells
would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and
even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.”


She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, “And if that damned
ice cream truck hadn’t come along, he’d still be alive today!”







One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home
and leaves her, hoping she will be well-cared for.

The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and
set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She
seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to fall over sideways in
her chair.

Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her
up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other
side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This
goes on all morning.

Later, the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her
new home.

“So, Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?” they ask.

“It’s pretty nice,” she replies. “Except they won’t let you fart.”



see u all mon.........

I was warned..................

So its been raining or drizzling
while i aiint salt
i dont like to get wet,damp or whatever
so i have been taking cabucabu .........

there's this bad patch on the way
its really bad
keeps getting worse
its been know to swallow SUV's
how much more cabucabu that
apapa trailers will blow away..........lol

ps:if u know anyone that owns a picanto
advice that person not to pass tincan,apapa route ooooooo

the car will be blown away
(I hate the vehicle)
it's tiny
any one who knows me knows i like big things
.....*cough*..........*wink*........

oh ok i digress...

so i engage this cabucabu and dude and i agree on 300 naira
......i let him pick other passengers on the way cos
he wanted 500 naira......

journey was smooth
no old papa to harass this tyme....*wink*.....

we get to the bad patch
i pretend to be engrossed in a novel

he GRUMBLES ALL THE WAY
at a point i felt we were gonna topple into the water......

we made it safe across........
then got to my destination
i alighted.....
paid and just as he received his fare he goes

Aunty..ni ojo imi ti e ba ri mi ni garagi wa
ema pemi kin gbe yin wa sibi yi
ona yin yen ko da rara o
mi o le ti tori ise 300 ki lo tun motor se fun 3000

Aunty...next time you get to our garage
dont engage my services to bring you here
i will not fix my car for 3000 naira
just cos of a 300 naira trip
the road is pretty bad


i just dey laff......

he kept shaking his head as he drove away
to face the bad patch again........

that was yesterday
today i swam across in my rain boots
and took a bike the rest of the way
i did see cabs at the garage but i was afraid

i remember baba's threat
i could have been lynched if i had tried
to get a cab cos i know baba must have spread the word

so u see
me sef dey fear small...........sometimes.......

*wink*...........

Tease............

He glanced across the table at her,she was spooning sorbet into her mouth. A small glob of it clung to her upper lip which she licked it off with the tip of her tongue. He watched her facinated and as he did, he experienced the most extraordinary physical attraction to her..... He was filled wit a fierce desire to make love to her...........

this is an excerpt from a novel........

it reminded me of......



it was www.whisper2u.com.........
my profile name drew his attention.....he buzzed....i responded
.....he was funny......i was doing the nysc thingy then...was looking forward to it ending and me getting a job.....he was with an advert agency(the first ad guy i dated).....i was fascinated with his job......he was the first man to say 'i lie for a living....lieing comes easy to me'...(2nd ad guy also said this to me once).....every ad guy i know......says 'models are good for the job but i dont date them'......'i prefer regular girls'.........

we would makes dates online ....hook up to the net and chat for hours.....3months later we exchanged numbers.....his voice i liked....6months later.....he called....i was just leaving my cousin's......thats really close to where i work-he said,why dont we hook up for lunch...i wasnt keen but he was persistent...so i headed there.....he was good looking(thank God) and tall...*cough*....we sat down...food was great...he was suppossed to head back to work but we were enjoying each other's company.....to prolong the date-he switched off his phone and we decided to have a drink......i was having such a great time......3hours later-i have go i said.... ok he said but give me a few mins to compose meself-i cant get up....i asked 'y'.....he asked if i really wanted to know...yes i said cos i couldnt understand this sudden need to sit tight and not get up....he pushed back his seat...i saw it...a lovely woody...i was stunned...i did dat i asked??...yea he said...when i asked?.....while u were eating he said..he said the idea of a drink was to give him tyme but whilst we drank and talked...it ony got worse.....i laughed.....secretly pleased...I...MOI...gave a guy i just met a woody just by spooning rice into my mouth&talking(not like i dont know what me voice can do to a man sometymes....*wink*)...what was it exactly i asked...ur eyes...mouth and voice he said...(my head swell).......

we agreed i should give him a few minutes to compose himself so i took a walk to look around...he met up with me and we headed...i was gonna take a cab home he insisted lets head to his place..i knew he only wanted me to pay for the woody......i said i needed to get a million things done.....he gave me this puppy dog look and i obliged him....company was good...flat was ok...he put on a movie...points for him it wasnt porn....we talked...he asked to kiss me......awwwwwwwwww i thought...he did......

i didnt particularly enjoy the kiss cos he was going too fast..i tod him so..he slowed down the tempo...i liked what his hands were doing to me.....i got up to pee and to make sure i was 'clean' incase his pink muscle was gonna say hi to my clit(i noticed he went into his room-to prepare the slaughter slab i am sure).......went back to the living room....making up was slow then fast and furious......i was loving it...he picked me up-he didnt halt the kiss(points for that)...next thing i know i was against cool sheets....he stripped me slowly....we touched,licked groped,sucked....his fingers down there was bliss......then the pink muscle....'sigh'.....t'was.....t'was.....t'was.....then....i saw bright lights......i felt goooooodddddd....decided to return the favour....stripped him but left his briefs on........

....i touched,groped,licked,sucked everywhere except his shaft......he was squirming.....then......i got up to pee(i'm sure he was like what kinda wickedness is this*&^%$£)....cleaned me self up....went back in.....started to dress up....what are u doing he said...i'm sorry.....its late i need to get home-it's 8pm already.....are u just gonna let me hang he asked...i'm sorry i said...i agreed to lunch..i didnt sign up for a great fuck...maybe some other tyme i said...he got up noticed i was dead serious then went to get himself off...met me in the living room a while later...told him not to bother about dropping me off....we found a cab....i got a passionate good bye kiss.....get her home safe he said...cab driver cooed all the way to me home about how lucky i am and how much my husband must love me......i had this huge smile on me face.......called when i got home and he said...now i like u more.....i was soooooooooo sure i was gonna get some tonight...he said he couldnt phantom not tapping that booty........

but i could have raped you you know...i said the thought didnt cross my mind....u know what ibi...next tyme i catch u...u wont get away so easy..........that was the whole idea though...keep him guessing.....so he comes back for more.....*wink*.....

FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i've got nurring much to say

my itch is still dia

my crystal ball still hasnt come up with a face

it looks like i aiint getting any

i will survive this drought

going celibate is not an option

ignoring the itch hardly helps

lately i've been admiring this good looking brother
that works in a differnt branch of my firm-its not
like i need him to scratch my itch....

i just like watching him walk.....*sigh*..the swagger


well Enigma....this is for you.....




A chicken and egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette
with a satisfied smile on its face, while the egg is frowning and
looking slightly annoyed. The chicken turns over on its side and mutters,
"Well, I guess that solves that debate."




Jack decides to go skiing with his buddy Bob. They load up Jack's
station wagon and head north. After driving for a few hours, they get
caught in a terrible blizzard. They pull into a nearby farmhouse and
ask the attractive lady of the house if they can spend the night.

"I'm recently widowed," she explains, "and I'm afraid the neighbors
will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Not to worry," Jack says, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."

Nine months later, Jack gets a letter from the widow's attorney. He
calls up his friend Bob and says, "Bob, do you remember that
good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?"

"Yes, I do," Bob says.

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the
house and have sex with her?" Jack asks.

"Yes, I have to admit that I did," Bob says.

"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?" Jack
asks.

Bob's face turns red and he says, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."

"Well, thanks a lot, pal…” Jack says. “She just died and left me her
farm."



A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, ready to consummate
their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession
to make, I’m not a virgin.”

The husband replies, “That’s not a big deal in this day and age.”

The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.”

“Oh yeah? Who was the guy?”

“Tiger Woods.”

“Tiger Woods, the golfer?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed
with him.”

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

“What are you doing?” asks the wife.

The husband says, “I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and get
something to eat.”

“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

“He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make
love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. “Now what are
you doing?” she asks.

The husband says, “I’m still hungry so I was going to get room service
to get something to eat.”

“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

“He’d come back to bed and do it again.”

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more
time.

When they finish he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone
and starts to dial.

The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?”

“No! I’m calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn
hole.”

From Baroque...............

Your favourite childhood memory – having a ball at my 5th buffday parry

Wash your face or rinse you mouth, which you do first in the morning – take a leak

The scariest moment of your life – being asked by a thug *why the hell do u wanna get down from the bus*(shuo should i stay.... so he would rob me*&^%$#)

One word that best describes you – HORNY AS A BITCH

Your favourite month of the year – October

Your favourite number -7

The nicest thing anyone ever said to you – all the compliments I need to thrive on …I tell meself

Current relationship status – happily single

What exactly are you wearing right now – shirt and pants-both in brown

What is your current problem – how to scratch this *itch*..........

What do you love most – GOD, family, money & most def boffing……*wink*…

If you could go back in time and change anything, what would it be? Agberos off the roads and bring WAI back.....

If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would you be? A pussy is what i am...*wink*...

Name an obvious quality you have – Diplomacy

Are you musically inclined? I love my music

The name of the song that's stuck in your head right now – Party Rider-9ice

Name someone with the same birthday as you – Bisi

Do you have a crush on someone? – does wanting his phallus in me everytyme I hear his voice count as a crush????....*wink*….

Have you ever been in a fight? I am a lady….hell no!!!!!!!!!

What is the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex? How tall he is….it translates to how *cough* he is..........

One of the biggest mistakes you’ve made – no regrets man………..

What do you think about prostitutes? – if you sell a product no one wants to buy, wont you become bankrupt????

Say something very random about you? …I stained me pants….(get ur mind outta the gutter)…with veggie soup……lol

Your favourite part of your body – My laps.........

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Nah….their kinda money my way but not the fame………..

Are you comfortable with your height? Yea…cant do shit about it……

What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you? Gave me a cold bath all thru the night whilst I battled a fever….

What is your favourite smell? On me or on him????

Have you ever been rushed to the emergency room? Cut me self on a glass cup and joggedto the nearest hospital for a stitch…does this count????

Why are you answering all these questions? To update me blog……….

i tag.......Enigma,smaragd,afrobabe,fff,lg,shiraoko,freaksho.......

Lawyers wanted please!!!!!!

Hi peeps i had a restful weekend
how was urs???
i so need to get *a good boffing* soooooonnnnn

cos i sexually harrassed a man i had no attraction for

it rained
had to take a cab
one of those cabucabu where you sit 2 in the front

journey is going on smooth....
then.....papa hits me with left shoulder smack on *my twins*

so i decided to be naughty..........
i jammed them into his back
he reached for his money staying as
far away from the twins as he could

soon as he was relaxed.........i jammed them into him again
this continued thru the 10min ride
him pulling away.........me jamming them into his back


for the life of me i dont know why i did that to papa
was it cos i am horny as hell
was it to punish him
or was i just looking for a sexual harrassment lawsuit&^%$#@*&


....*wink*...........

UNA NO VOTE ABI????????????

Hi people............

una no vote for me abi?
for www.blogvilleidol08.blogspot.com

i dey go VILLAGE for ALL of una
as una know say una no go vote
when i talk say i wan sing
una for tell me say
no sing o..........
we no go vote o.......

i come go finish
una do me
ma lo....awa le hin e
na so i look back.........i no see person

i dey vex gannnnnnnnnn........

i no go blog again sef...........

cos na so i go say i wan turn
chief or mistress of this our obodo
una go do me wayo again
mschewwwwwwww...........


but sha
as una no vote for me
continue..........
cos no matter wetin happen
one person must carry bucket sorry cup
at the end of the whole thing

so.......go dia.....go vote

but no forgeti dey go villa this sat
FOR ALL OF UNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey peeps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

have u all been to www.blogvilleidol08.blogspot.com

its HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know i promised to do a proper post today

couldnt get to it

maybe tom!!!!!!!!!!\



MWAH................

BLOGSVILLE IDOLS 2008

DONT IGNORE THE DATE ON ME BLOG HEADER


I GOT IT RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WWW.BLOGVILLEIDOL08.BLOGSPOT.COM

LOL..........................

BLOGSVILLE IDOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LISTEN ON MON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VOTE FOR IBILUV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What to say!!!!!!!

Have bloggers block..........

sent in my song
one minute they said

mine came up to 22secs

sent in another version

hope its longer

anyways
i am just saying
if my song is 22secs long
dont mean u guys shouldnt vote for moi!!!!!!!!!!

proper post coming up on mon

not looking forward to tom(sat)
ignore tha date on me blog header

need to change it somehow
have training-work related
and i got the mail 450pm


how fair is that?????

wish u all a *soundtrack* filled weekend!!!!!!!!!!