Onesidedexamsex

So i caught Jerry Springer recently and this woman
said even though her husband has cheated on her for
8 of the ten years they have been married,she was not
letting him have sex with her cos she was scared of sti's
but until the last of the 6 children she
has for him turns eighteen-he was stuck with her

i was amused at the way she slapped him around
and the fact that she said she wasnt letting him go

sometimes we do that
either forcefully or subtly

we hang on to a relationship that is one sided............







so i went for my annual basic medical exam.......
turns out it was ante natal day
met a pal who asked if i was breeding......
nah......not yet....

Doc talked me out of doing a fertility test
he said i can always find out when i start trying
and maybe have difficulty conceiving

he also scolded me for not having done a breast
exam since the one i had

abegi make my booby rest-who knows.........
maybe just maybe.....*wink*






got talking sex with my aunt and it was funny
recollecting how difficult it was for my first to deflower me

he never succeeded.......he caused me no pain
and eventually left my hymen intact

the man who did ....caused me bittersweet pain......*wink*






when i get a boyfriend and or a husband

he will not be allowed to read this blog


.......if he ever finds it

it wasnt me
cos i dont care how in love he is

i'm quite sure he would take no pleasure
in my sexcapades.......most of them have
being recounted in detail on my blog

for all of una whey dey miss the sexcapades series

my pussy no see action so how i go write story??????







i've been called a lioness,magnificent,wonderful,sensual,sexy,

i've been told i bring out the animal in him

i've been told no one has ever made him do this....
.........go on and on and on in one night....

i've been told you have a pert butt,never say you are a
member of nassatall.....(it looks perter now).......*wink*

i've been told i have lovely skin......

i've been told i have mad skills.....

i've been told i do great things with my waist,legs,mouth,hands.....

i've been asked not to look-my eyes were doing things to him he said

i once gave a guy a hard on from spooning rice,plantain and beef into my mouth.....

i've been told i'm flexible

i've been told i've got lovely boobs....

i've been told sex/lovemaking was earth shattering,mind blowing,special,different,fab,great

i've been told...Ibi you are lazy...

i've also been asked...do you want to kill me

i've been told Ibi let me feel u(lets jettison a condom)

someone once asked me to marry him after i fucked his brains out
he only brought out the beast in me-if i dare say so miself
but marraige&^%$£%&*.........hell no



all of these and more in relation to sex......

told mi aunt i dont miss sex

well i dont....







but after writing this......i do..........

Crossroads,PHCN,Passwords and Hot water!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So a pal of mine was at a crossroad(since this post is a week late)
my internet provider cut me off due to a mistake by the silly teller at the bank or the silly office assistant who took the money to the bank-one or both of them.......aaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh

.....she settled for someone cos he was the only one in her life
but now she's met the kinda guy she would
rather spend the rest of her days with


i know her well enuff to know
she just has more fun in new guy's company cos he's classy
a real gentleman.........

i'm just waiting to see who ends up for the long haul

i did not have long to wait especially after i told her
its aiight to have fun but you need to decide what you'd rather have

fun or friendship..........


frankly i could care less about her love live crisis.......
here i am.......bemoaning my lack of a phallus
and there she is with two dicks at her beck and call.....
mcsheeeeeeeeewwww


frankly.......
if i snap my fingers i could get to tumble
with a guy(s)........*fluttering eyelashes*
but the one willie i'm craving is off limits
*sigh*





i reminded myself not to get worked up watching tv
t'was reality tv sef-isnt that staged????????





PHCN...........your PAPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




rain you dey do me strong thing
me cuz just got a car
she got me all broody(for a car)
her car is cute and it aiint brand new
maybe.......just maybe.....




met a woman at the saloon last week
she was foolish enuff to let her maid take her weave off
she's now bald in four spots






it just occured to me every password i own is either vulgar
or has one of my brother's name or their bday date

i once had to give my boss access to my system and
he could not get over mi having a boys name as my password
to this day......
he thinks thats my boo's name

lucky for me
it was not bigwillieat.....(yea its a password i use)



A Joke

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day,
picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy: "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued: "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied: "not exactly, but they aren't for me.
They're for him. He's my brother. He's four.

We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike and right now, he can't do either




And a sex tip
'A breath mint in your mouth before performing oral sex
has the dual benefit of both making it more pleasant for you
and extra stimulating for her. '



So i got dropped off at oshodi about 720pm
tried to get the red Lagbus to my destination
could not.........
so i took a regular bus

it had a flat around siemens
got scared cos it was almost 8pm by now and i had my lappy with me

so i got a cab
i ordinarily would not have taken it
thanks to mi cuz
she hates rickety cabs
but i was almost choking on my fear
i'm a scaredy cat on the streets of Lagos
after 7pm when i have valuables on me

so i got into the cab
get comfy and was praying the cab would not fall to pieces

Thank God i was praying
next thing i know
i see steam on the dash and water trickles down to my feet
at first i'm mesmerized

till i start yelping
the water is HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how does water from a radiator steam up and run down the dashboard???
so he stops
and i hop out
i cross the road blindly then i'm dancing
all the while -i'm watching the cab closely

the man starts to fiddle with his car
then a good samaritan stops to help baba
then i scream
BABA!!!!!!!!!everything i own is in your cab
if anything happens!!!!!!!!!

my left feet is smarting the whole time
and i'm dancing to relieve the pain
i was also barefoot

he calls to me to come over,that he has it under control
i ask him to get off the road
i start to scout for another cab

Baba bemoans the loss of his cab fare
thats when i remember my lappy!!!!!!!!!!!

i scream
run to the cab and pull up the bag
the bag is wet!!!!!!!!!!!

i start to wail
no tears but i was wailing
Baba goes why are you crying??? the bag is not wet
i'm screaming its wet its wet oh my God!!!!!

my lappy!!!!!!!!
my left foot still smarts

i get another cab head home
strip my lappy
yippie....its aiight maybe if i had left it a little longer.......

then i send a text to my aunt the nurse(the only medical personnel i know who can consult over the phone)my cuz and my pal
who in turns suggested a burn cream,vaseline and an egg

the burn cream i could not get from the pharmacy-e don finish
vaseline gives you blisters after a burn
the egg i ended up breaking it

so i resorted to pap

and it worked

its been a week
the spot the water hit is dark and itches like crazy

which means its healing(cos it itches)
i'm just glad i did not get a blister

here's a picture of me with my first aid.....lol