Monday, February 16, 2009

Are you ready to rumble????

Feb 14th
had errands to run and a wee bit of shopping
the sun was a killer
i growled when the bus conductor's sweat landed on my arm

got to my cousin's
laffs-stuffed my face
decided to head on home to dinner with myself

the rain decided otherwise
all the cabs had ladies
touching up their make up in them

an Uncle stays close
he heard i just left so he came to pick me
insisted i spend the night
why go home to yourself?????

i said most peeps just had their dinner ruined
with a glint in his eyes he said
*laroda ojo*
(theres no easy way to translate this
but what do you think he was saying????
rain-wet girlfriend-guy's doorstep-val's day/night)

went back to theirs
we had dinner
red wine
and watched
*why did i get married* (for the umpteenth time)
and it occured to me
they've been married 9 years
last year
she got cards at noon
lunch at 2pm(chinese)
and cake at 4pm
i have no idea what he had planned for dinner*wink*

this year
the people at her job missed out on oohing and aahing
but once again
they did not take themselves for granted
...........they have a good thing going




So conductor tonite hikes the fare by 20naira
i'm too tired to argue
I and many others
Some guy was in the mood for trouble
he decided not to pay the hike in price

conductor rants and raves
drives him past his drop
2 stops later driver stops for another passenger
conductor takes off his shoes/shirt
trust Lagosians they stopped them
i was in the mood to watch a royal rumble
moreover i was disgusted by his antics

any man that can floor you
doesnt bother getting neat
he wants you to bloody him if you can
cos he knows he can bloody you in seconds

in another life..........i have a black belt in karate
once........i had a crush on such a machine
one thing he always told those of us close to him was
*never try to catch me unawares*
guy who did
was flat on his back in seconds
and in danger of getting a dislocated shoulder
unfortunately 50 other people witnessed it

fooling around was usually tricky
you could get a broken finger
just for trying to startle him

i survive his friendship without any scars
but i think Chris Brown was wrong
any man trained in martial arts
never uses his skills outside battle
machine or not
hitting a woman...is sooooooooooo wrong

every kid of mine is gonna be skilled in martial arts
you never know when you may need to defend yourself.............









What would you do if you are standing together
a group of 6 women enjoying the evening breeze
asswipe walks up to you
good evening ladies..............
i want to show you something
i'm not interested cos i think
sales man
but
..........i watch as he zips down
pulls down his pants and shows us his phallus
the others run away screaming
i stand there grinning


it was a good sized one
in another circumstance
with a guy i really fancy
that would give me joy...........*wink*

28 comments:

  1. im sure enuf babies were made last sat...lol. oh my, r u serious about the dude that showed his phallus....... was he sane? ive no clue what i'd do

    ReplyDelete
  2. only ibuluv the author of the soundtrack post can write this. what was the soundtrack of saturday?

    ReplyDelete
  3. You stayed?! I would've ran away too. I am allergic to Crazie.
    "wink"

    ReplyDelete
  4. I thought you were going to have the spa day!!!

    I do kick boxing because a girl never knows....

    ReplyDelete
  5. lmao...I would have stood there grinning as well....

    ReplyDelete
  6. i only hope those babies made on saturday all live to see October/November...

    that ur friend woulda broken my arm long ago! cuz i'm always tryna startle pple...lol

    Chris Brown got it sooooo wrong! now i cant listen to his music without hissing! mchew,dude just ruined very good music for me, ode.

    i'm with u on karate kids baby!

    ReplyDelete
  7. yes now...i told u now....in class one day in uni at nite, when i was reading...i even blogged abt it then.is it tht thre are some categories of women these psychos think it'd be fun to show their "kini"

    ReplyDelete
  8. i'm tripped at your uncle and his wife, i love when couples keep the flame alive!

    that guy must be sick!

    ReplyDelete
  9. ...so, i won't accuse you of keeping me standing on falentine, you would rather convince (oops, confuse) me with this abi. Not to worry....

    ReplyDelete
  10. hahahhaah!!!!!!!!!!! YET AGAIN....
    P.S:XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  11. I know u didn't just type Phallus... lmao.

    Hey, the dude had to share his Falentine with someborry nau.

    Ur uncle and his wife do have a good thing. I love couples like that.

    ReplyDelete
  12. No doubt it was you Dbanj was singing for.
    Grinning at a huge phallus? craze girl.

    would you have accepted flowers on vals day as a gift? check out what ur fellow females said on my blog!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Aww i admire ur uncle n his wife..sweetness!

    I really shud take up self-defence lessons..

    Ah chris brown *sighs* :(

    Wow, r u for real?? Did the phallus-revealing incident really happen???????

    ReplyDelete
  14. I thot I was ready to rumble. But after reading this post, it turns out I wasn't. lol!

    Babe, this ur post sha...! I throway yansh 4 u. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  15. What interesting experiences you have!!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. never fight with a conducted, they're usually so grimy with dust and sweat you end up paying extra at the dry cleaners

    ReplyDelete
  17. you and your love for the phallus sha.LOL

    That dude must have been nuts. And you get mind o!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'm just stating the obvious but you sure are very naughty. Very naughty indeed;)

    ReplyDelete
  19. oooh i heart why did i get married!!!!

    your uncle and his wifey are too cute...

    and i for run o! before person assume say as i stayed it means i 'gree....

    ReplyDelete
  20. mad child. lol
    Dont get the uncle par though...,

    ReplyDelete
  21. me thinks "laroda ojo" = "for this kain treacherous weather"???
    Probably wrong anyways..

    ReplyDelete
  22. @Fums.....i agree on the babies been made..lol.....serious i am....sane...mostly....disturbed...yea

    @Jaguda....*blush*

    @Cappuccine Baby........thanks...

    @Uzezi....sadly no soundtrack....*sigh*

    @Temite......I stayed...you forget...i love phalluses....*wink*

    @CaramelD.....I do very good karate(in my mind)......*sigh*

    @Sis.....you and me both......mwah!!!!!!!!

    @Twinny......i pray so too....ah he woulda warned you-if you had seen what happened that day-you woulda stuck to the warning
    ........listen to him jooo..he IS only human...i think he's sorry enuff to remember never to use his lethal hands ever again (outside battle)...life long dream...i want my kids protecting themselves....

    @Miz-cynic....no.....its a random thingy for this guy...

    @Writefreak....yea...i admire them too.....oh he is.......

    @Unwritten.....where u been?????

    @Rethots.....as if you really wanted to spend falentine with me...Uhmp.....

    @Lady Koko.....MWAH!!!!!!!!

    @Nefertiti.....i did......*wink*...oh no...it was a long time ago.....i love them too...

    @Badder......I have....*fluttering lashes*

    @Doll....hmmmmmmm

    @Afronuts.......he sang for me.....*swoon*.....how i for do????i would have hit his head with it...i find flowers annoying....will be at urs in a hot minute....

    @ Buttercup....yea.....please do...yea..*double sigh*....i am for real....it happened...

    @Vera.......you arent????*wink*

    @Luscious Ron......i am???...*wink*

    @She...i love my life!!!!!!!!

    @Jinta....no be me fight him o.....

    @Doug.........i love mi my phalluses.....*wink*....he sure was disturbed.....

    @Naijalines.....very very very naughty......*wink*

    @theicequeen...very cute they are.....he said let me show you something...he did not say lets do anything........

    @Padosh.....lol at mad child...see pot calling kettle black....people being sweet on themselves after some years being married-thats what my uncles part was about

    @RocNaija.....i think you are right......

    ReplyDelete